It’s Hometown Dates, Baby!
And let’s be real here. Hometown dates usually bring all sorts of crazy. It’s hometown dates that have given us the following gems over the years…
This year’s hometown dates weren’t quite as eventful or eye opening as in year’s past, but there was a temper tantrum of epic proportions, so stay tuned for that.
KNOXVILLE WITH HANNAH ANN
First and foremost….I’m going to say it again…somebody needs to get Peter some Vitamin E oil! His scar needs attention!!! It can’t be just me that’s worried about it.
Second of all, let’s talk about Hannah Ann’s jeans, because I feel like THESE are the ones she’s wearing, or at least super similar. I bought them for myself just last week, I’ll be showing them on the blog on Friday, AND I LOVE THEM.
They did some ax throwing (as one does when the father is a forest ranger and you want to try to doing something really manly before you meet him), and then Peter had his own Things I Love About You note for Hannah Ann.
But I mean, how serious about her can he really be? Because the “i” on “things” just had a regular old dot. #lame
They walked in to see the family, and my goodness they were all ADORABLE. Hannah’s mama was cute as can be (and was wearing a shirt that I have from Target last year). #respect
Her baby sister was precious, her brother was darling, and her dad was cute, BUT ALL SORTS OF RESERVED. He was all “We haven’t seen Hannah Ann in a long time, but Peter is here with her, so I guess that’s different and cool.” I’m paraphrasing, but the subtext was that the dad did not in fact think it was different or cool.
Truth be told, Ranger Rick was eerily quiet and DID NOT SEEM IMPRESSED. Bless this man. I think he was genuinely trying to be welcoming here.
After some typical hometown date fodder between Peter and Ranger Rick, Peter stepped up his game and told him that he was falling in love with his daughter.
And then this was Rick.
JK. This was Rick.
Ranger Rick was not thrilled. And he asked Peter to not say “I Love You” to Hannah Ann unless he sincerely meant it. What a good, dad! I thought that was a fair request.
I thought that the ranger’s warnings might perhaps make Peter a bit more reserved with what he would say to Hannah Ann. BUT NOPE. After about 23 seconds of thinking about it, Peter felt confident in the fact that he was in fact in love with Hannah Ann, and he told her so. And then Hannah said it back.
So, Ranger Rick is now googling how to quietly and efficiently dispose of a body in a forest. You know, just in case. A tree “accidentally” falling on somebody’s head….a wood chipper malfunction….sooooo many possibilities.
Des Moines with Kelsey
Before meeting the family, Kelsey and Peter went somewhere that Iowa is super well known for. They headed to an Iowa winery of course. They stomped on some grapes, made some wine, and then crafted lots of metaphors about how wine is a lot like love. It can be spicy, it can be sweet, sometimes it needs to breathe, BLAH BLAH BLAH.
And after what I can only imagine was several glasses of wine, Kelsey went ahead and declared to Peter that she does in fact love him. And I feel like now is as good a time as any to say that I’m proud of the growing up that Kelsey has done in the last 6 weeks. If during all of the YOU DRANK MY CHAMPAGNE silliness you would have told me that she was actually likeable, I wouldn’t have believed you. But here I am, LIKING HER. Nobody is more surprised than me.
Kelsey’s family home was gorgeous and so was her family.
Peter tried crab rangoon for the first time, toasted her family, and then her two sisters took her away for a sister chat. The chat was very blonde.
Kelsey’s mama sat Peter down on the couch. And it started out lovely and casual, but it ended with “Don’t break my girl’s heart. Do you understand?” And I’m telling you, there was something sinister about the “do you understand?” Like, there was a little bit of mafia in her when she said it. PETER. DO YOU understand? Advance with precaution.
They sat on the front porch just as he did with Hannah Ann, and then he said “my heart is definitely falling.” So……….Kelsey is “definitely in love with Peter”…..and Peter is falling.
AUBURN, ALABAMA WITH MADISON
Welcome to Auburn University, y’all! Let’s show some school spirit! WAR EAGLE! I will say, when Peter did the War Eagle call, I suffered from a pretty healthy case of second hand embarrassment.
They headed to the Auburn basketball stadium, were greeted by a jumbo tron message from Charles Barkley, and met with Bruce Pearl (head basketball coach at Auburn). They tried to do some pretty fancy basketball skills and drills (Madison DID them and Peter TRIED), played a little 1:1, and they were basically just both cute as a button together. I did give the side eye to Peter’s pants and wondered on more than 1 occasion if he was wearing leggings. Thankfully, at some point I was able to see a waistband, and I can confirm that it was jeans he was wearing. They were super skinny and not my favorite, BUT AT LEAST THEY WEREN’T LEGGINGS.
Right before the 1:1, I misunderstood something that was said.
Madi said “I’m really excited to kick his butt.”
But I thought she said, “I’m really excited to pick his butt.”
I WAS MORE THAN A LITTLE CONFUSED.
Kick. with a K.
AND Y’ALL. He lifted her up, and then she wrapped her legs around him. And for the first time, her thighs looked like they were in love.
Time to meet Madison’s family!
I was wondering where Mr. Prewett was, BUT THEN I realized that the person I thought was a younger brother, was actually Mr. Prewett. You can’t tell me he’s not 14 years old. Or maybe Benjamin Button.
They sat down to dinner, and Madi got the special plate at the table, which is a sweet little family tradition where whomever gets the special plate gets to listen to everybody at the table say something special about them. They all said something, and then mama whisked her away.
Madi and her mom had a mother daughter talk while sitting on the bed. Her mom wondered if she had shared that she was saving herself for marriage. She told her that she hadn’t shared that yet.
Madi, FANTASY SUITES ARE NEXT WEEK. And you’ve heard the windmill story, right?
Peter sat down with Mr. Prewett, preteen dad. I really liked the dad, by the way. And if we’re honest, I would like to know his skincare routine. He is sweet and protective, but firm. He said things like “How you can assure me that this is genuine? She is so pure. and Do you feel like you guys are compatible?” He shared that he has prayed for Madi’s husband since she was a baby (so sweet) and said “We’ve challenged her to not settle.”
Peter said something that I actually liked. He said, “I’m willing to put the work in and be the man that she deserves.” Only time will tell I guess.
When dad tried to nail Peter down on if Madi was “the one”, Peter didn’t commit. But I respected that.
They said goodbye, and things were looking pretty good for these two. Although, it’s clear Peter has no idea that Madi has any doubts at this point.
Virginia Beach with Victoria
They hung out on the beach for a minute with her dog, they took old timey photos, and they shared ice cream. What’s important here is that ALL OF THAT WENT SMOOTHLY. She didn’t act like a petulant child and no exes showed up, so I was calling their hometown date a win thus far.
Then she took him to her favorite venue, The Shack on 8th. People were dancing around, and Hunter Hayes was there playing one of his most popular hits “I don’t want easy, I want crazy”.
It’s a catchy little tune.
AND IT SHOULD BE PETER AND VICTORIA’S THEME SONG.
BECAUSE THE GIRL IS CRAY.
They danced around for a bit in the crowd, Peter knew all the lyrics, and they looked like they were having a blast.
He was on Cloud 9 walking out of the place, when a girl THAT SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS (just kidding, her name is Marissa) stopped him to spill some tea. I’m not sure why they blurred out her face since she clearly identified herself and said she and Victoria know each other, but they did. She didn’t share anything super specific, but she kept saying that she knows that Peter is a good guy, and she successfully planted big ol’ seeds of doubt by saying that Victoria has broken up lots of relationships.
Peter thanked her, was visibly upset (and confused), and knew he was going to need to talk to dear old Vicky that night.
When he arrived at Victoria’s parent’s home, there was an obvious heaviness as soon as he got out of the car. She noticed it immediately, asked him if he was okay, and he said they needed to talk.
They sat down on the front stoop AND OMG SHE WAS SUCH A BRAT.
SHE MADE MY BLOOD PRESSURE SHOOT STRAIGHT THE THE ROOF.
Peter very calmly told her how this girl had showed up and told him that Victoria had broken up some relationships. In my mind, if Victoria wasn’t as guilty as sin, she would have calmly responded and refuted the charges.
But instead… her voice raised around 23 octaves (that’s a conservative estimate), she barely let him get a word in edgewise, and she basically spoke defensive gibberish. I would say she was acting like a child, but her behavior was more like a self indulgent teenager who had just had her cell phone taken away. It’s something you really have to see yourself to believe. Her overall attitude, her tone, her body language….it all made me nauseous. FOR REAL.
Let me say this…if I was Peter, I would have pulled a Colton and jumped over the nearest fence, kept walking, and NEVER looked back.
And when I tell you that the whining was out of control, PLEASE BELIEVE ME. She whined some more, he looked more and more confused, and then he left. Actually, she got up and left first. And then he left after that. He never even met her family.
At that point, I had hope for Peter and humanity.
The next day, Peter was hanging out at what I can only imagine was a Motel 6 when there was a knock on the door. DON’T ANSWER IT, PETER!!!!!!!!! You guessed it, it was Vicky. Looking just as deranged as ever.
Knock Knock! Who’s there? CRAZY.
She came in and explained how she’s trying hard and she can’t walk away from him.
And Peter was all, “Um, except you kinda did.”
She looked at him with her doe like eyes and seemed to be putting him under some kind of spell. He said he hadn’t made his decision yet, and then she left.
Me: PETER. LISTEN TO ME. THIS IS IMPORTANT. IT’S TIME FOR VICKY TO GO.
Narrator: Peter did not listen
The Rose Ceremony
The girls all arrived at the rose ceremony, which was taking place in a candlelit airplane hanger. Did y’all know that Peter is a pilot?
He kept Madi (duh), Hannah Ann (totally understandable), and Victoria.
Let’s just cut to the chase. Kelsey’s mama with the mafia vibes is DISPLEASED right now. AND SO AM I.
I am really having trouble understanding how he watched Victoria act so incredibly immaturely and thought “Yep, I can see how being married to that would be lots of fun.”
Let’s be honest, he just wants to get the girl in a windmill.
LOOKING FORWARD TO NEXT WEEK
At the end of this week’s episode, Madi actually pulls Peter off to the side while still in the hangar, presumably to tell him of her intention to remain a virgin. But spoilers for next week tell us that she also ends up telling him that if he sleeps with any of the other girls, that will also cause her to be out. Which I’m guessing totally ruins his plans.
I’ve gotta say, I REALLY LOVE ME SOME MADI.
I also have to say, in addition to Victoria talking making me want to mutilate my own ears, she also just makes me roll my eyes aggressively. There’s footage from next week of Victoria calling Madi “disgusting” because of her morals. I’m sorry, I DON’T UNDERSTAND.
Well, that’s it for this week y’all!
And if you are new here and need to catch up, here you go:
Click HERE for my musings from Week 1. Peter was giving off major Top Gun vibes, but his jacket looked like it was better suited for Kelly McGillis than Tom Cruise.
Click HERE for my musings from Week 2. You know the episode, it’s where our “shy little wall flower with insecurity issues” stripped down to black lace lingerie on the runway ON NATIONAL T.V. and made out with Peter. Good times.
Click HERE for my musings from Week 3. It was the week of the lamest pool party EVER.
Click HERE and scroll down to WHAT ARE WE WATCHING for my musings for Week 4. I once again tried to educate the general population on how to fill out a Bachelor application, should you ever apply.
Click HERE for my musings from Week 5. I mean, you have to read about MyKenna’s tongue.
Click HERE for Week 6.
Before you go! I’ve got one really great SALE ALERT for you!
Y’all know I’ve loved leopard flats for years, and I of course continue to love them. But when I saw these tiger flats last year, I thought they were a great updated option! I still consider the pattern a neutral (just like our beloved leopard), but I love the punch this new print added to my outfits. They are a bit unexpected, and I think they are so much fun. I absolutely love wearing them.
I actually have these exact flats in leopard too, so I can stand by the fact that they are comfortable and well made.
They are true to size.
Click HERE for the flats.
And although not for sale, I want to talk about the jeans, because I know I’ll get questions about them!
The jeans are amazing. They shape, they smooth, they lift, and they boast the Wit and Wisdom Ab-Solution technology that we’ve all fallen in love with. I also love the ankle length, and I always like to show a little bit of ankle when wearing flats or booties. If between sizes, I would go down a size. I HIGHLY recommend them. The dark wash makes them easy to dress up, and Wit and Wisdom jeans are always flattering as all get out. They fit me great, hold me in (in all the right places), and still manage to be insanely comfortable.
That’s all for today, y’all! Sorry the recap was a little bit late going live today, but the day got away from me yesterday and I had to take all the screen shots this morning! #betterlatethannever
See y’all back here on Friday for a post I’m really excited about!