As soon as the episode started on Monday night, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt it was going to be crazy.
You know how I knew?
Because Barb broke out a strapless tube top and white jeans.
AND THAT IS CRAZY.
I mean, WHOAH.
It was a bold choice.
A bold choice that I did not see coming.
Which was just the first of several Barb related things I DID NOT SEE COMING.
IMPORTANT: Let me say right now that I wrote this recap before I watched Tuesday’s episode. But now that I’ve watched Tuesday, BARB IS DEAD TO ME NOW. I mean, I did not enjoy her on Monday night’s episode, BUT TUESDAY NIGHT DID ME IN. So if I say anything even remotely nice about Barb in this recap, PLEASE DISREGARD.
All right, let’s start!
Before either girl got to meet the family, Peter sat down with them for a bit to brief them on who is final 2 ladies were. And right off the bat, Peter shared with his parents how Madi had told him that if he slept with the other women that she didn’t know if she’d be able to move on.
Seems like an odd choice when trying to introduce a girl to your family, but okay.
And let me again state that that Madi’s request SEEMS REASONABLE TO ME.
We’re talking 1o business days, people. 10 business days for Peter to abstain. TEN DAYS.
But his parents were actually super concerned about this.
Like realllllllllllllllly troubled and terribly concerned. They couldn’t imagine why anybody wouldn’t want to wiggle with their son. Barb was like BUD, this troubles me greatly.
It was more than weird.
I had trouble understanding why they were so invested in their son’s sexual experiences? It’s creepy, right?
I mean, It was clear that this family places a really high importance on the big wiggle and isn’t afraid to talk about it. Which if we’re being honest, totally oogied me out. If you think back, Barb applauded with enthusiasm at After the Final Rose when she found out about the windmill shenanigans (4 TIMES, MOM!…WAY TO GO, BUD!), but she was actually concerned and visibly upset by the fact that Madi wanted to honor her faith and save herself for her husband? I MEAN, COME ON BARB.
Cut to Harrison back in a candle lit studio audience, where he was really enjoying his role as Master of Ceremonies. He taunted us time and time again that none of us had any idea how this season was going to end, and he even went further to say that PETER DIDN’T EVEN KNOW.
This was me.
HANNAH ANN MEETS THE FAMILY
Hannah Ann met the family (looking darling in an appropriate sundress) and within 23 seconds was spewing her love for Peter all over the place. She even said she was “proud to be a part of him”. Huh?
But Peter apparently ate it up because he was hanging all over her. Like an awkward middle schooler at his first school dance. It was weird. Especially when he used his nose to nuzzle her shoulder.
The entire time spent with his family, Hannah Ann was teary and constantly talking about her love for Peter and how proud she was of him. She spent individual time with everybody, and they all loved her.
MADI AND PETER HAVE A SERIOUS CONVERSATION WHILE TOUCHING FOREHEADS
Before Madi even got out of the car, the way Peter was talking about her to the camera made me realize that he loved her sooooooooooooo much more than he loved Hannah Ann.
But when Madi got out of the car, she wasn’t doing well AT ALL. The girl was spiraling.
She shared with him that she had been totally ready to get engaged to him UNTIL she found out that he had wiggled with the 2 other women. She said “I feel like you put your feelings, your needs, and your wants above mine.” She felt that way because he did. TEN BUSINESS DAYS, PETER.
They of course had this serious conversation while touching foreheads. Because can you have this conversation any other way? No. The answer is no.
Peter looked like he had been punched straight in the gut, and he wanted to deflect from the real issues.
He even tried to take the focus off of the wiggling and switched the blame to her because she hadn’t shared with him how she felt.
But Madi would have none of it.
THE GIRL WAS HOLDING HER GROUND.
SHE WAS FIRM, BUT LOVING.
I was totally cheering her on!
She was like “Of course your actions with other women affect our relationship.”
He tried to empathize with her and told her that he had been in her exact shoes.
And I was like UM. Except your shoes were on the floor in a windmill when you were doing it 4 times. Soooooooooooooo, that’s not exactly the same.
She admitted to him that she was hanging on by a thread. Peter told her that he wanted to get through this, but she just didn’t know how she would.
Madi said, “Love isn’t the issue here. Love is not the problem.”
And then Peter said, “The issue isssssssss?”
PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETERRRRRRRRRRRRRR! DO YOU REALLY NOT KNOW WHAT THE ISSUE IS????
You wiggled with two other girls. When she specifically told you she might not be able to get over it if you did. Right before you were planning on proposing to her.
Madi ended up telling Peter that she knew she loved him the day they had climbed to the top of that building together, and the boy lit up. He obviously loves her too.
MADI MEETS THE FAMILY
As soon as they walked in, I noticed that Barb was wearing her “Don’t let her go” outfit…so I knew we were getting close folks.
Madi’s and Peter’s hineys had barely hit the sofa when Peter mentioned they had been talking outside because their relationship had hit a road block. Peter’s dad straight up asked “What exactly was the road block?” So even though they met 74 seconds ago, Madi suddenly found herself explaining to them how she was waiting until marriage and how she had shared with Peter that she would have a problem if he decided to sleep with the other girls in the 10 BUSINESS DAYS before he proposed to her.
And then she said “It hasn’t been easy, but I love him.” It was very sweet and genuine.
And the parents had disapproval written all over their faces. Seriously, look how concerned they are. I do not enjoy either of them.
They were basically like WHY HAVEN’T YOU WIGGLED WITH MY SON?????
Madi met with the dad and he asked her how compatible they were.
She shared how important her faith is to her, and how she has really clung to the fact that Peter said that he wanted his faith to grow. And y’all can call me crazy, but I’m actually on Team Madi and Peter right now. I think they love each other, and I do think that Peter seems genuinely interested in becoming the man that Madi needs him to be. Some men just need a woman to have high standards for them, and then they can rise to those standards.
Peter sat down with his brother, and their conversation of course centered around intimacy. The brother said “Obviously you are very physical in relationships.”
YES. WE ARE AWARE.
The brother then started going on and on asking lots of questions. Questions like, “Can you go to church and then go line dancing afterwards?” He also made statements like “she is really into the ministry.” Which alone shows that their family has not been “really into the ministry.” Listen Jack….she’s a Christian and her faith is a large part of her life…DEAL WITH IT.
The brother then begged Peter to not compromise any level of himself.
Like, PLEASE DON’T GIVE UP LINE DANCING PETER. WE KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE LINE DANCING.
The brother then asked Peter if he would compromise himself.
And Peter got defensive and was like “That’s what relationships are, and that’s what relationships are about.”
Okay, Peter. Keep going in this direction, because you are right!
And then it was time for Madi and Barb. By the time their conversation was over I was in love with Madi and sooooooooooo proud of her. She was so respectful and well spoken, although I do think this look kind of said it all. She COULD NOT BELIEVE Barb.
I thought Barb needed a good stern talking to. What was all this righteous indignation she had on Peter’s behalf? Why was she so deeply affected by the fact that Madi didn’t want to wiggle with her son? She disappointed me greatly. I thought her behavior was shameful.
So, Barb immediately started sharing that Peter is spiritual like she is, but not really religious. She went on to say, “And I don’t want anyone to change him. We love him the way he is.” She shared that she respected Madi for her values, but to tell someone else to change wasn’t fair. Which seems like an okay message, but I assure you it was not. Her delivery was terrible.
Barb had NO RESPECT for Madi during their entire conversation. And we all got a tiny little peek into what Thanksgiving and Christmas would be like with Barb as a mother in law.
NO THANK YOU.
Madi said “I’m not going to apologize or be ashamed, I was just being open and honest.” She explained that she was not giving him an ultimatum, just sharing with him how she felt. She talked to Barb with respect, even though Barb did nothing to deserve that respect.
Y’all, I was so proud of Madi.
And Barb, don’t point your finger at me.
BARB WAS NOT HAVING IT.
AND I WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OVER BARB. I was over the whole family really.
Madi told the camera that the family conversations made her realize that she and Peter were on different pages. Which they are. But I’m telling you, something was changing in me, and I was thinking that Peter possibly had it in him to do what he needed to do to deserve Madi’s love!
BRING HER HOOOOOOOOOOOOOME TO US
Madi left, Peter walked back into the house, and BARB LOST IT.
She was bawling her head off.
She was acting like she was bawling her head….BUT NARY A TEAR ACTUALLY APPEARED.
It was gross.
Barb is stupid.
I mean, sure…she wiped away “tears”. But I’m telling you, there were no real tears.
Peter was like “Why are you crying?”
Barb said “She’s not there for you.”
And if you didn’t think the fake bawling was weird enough, things are about to get really crazy.
Barb….the same woman who about 2 minutes ago told Madi that she wasn’t very religious, looked at Peter and said “I said a prayer for you last night.”
She went on and on about how she had prayed, how God had answered her prayer, and how God had placed Hannah Ann in his life and that “she’s a real gem….an angel on earth.”
Yep, she prayed to God that He would send Peter the perfect girl. But she didn’t think it was God fearing Madi.
She had just basically shamed Madi for her faith, and immediately after, she was using God to try to manipulate her son.
WAS THIS LADY FOR REAL?
AND ANOTHER THING…QUIT CALLING HIM BUD!
He said again how much he loved Madi, and the entire family was like yeah, but she doesn’t wiggle.
Peter is like “I can see past this. But y’all have to trust me.”
But I’m telling you, the family CANNOT GET OVER IT.
Again, that’s oogie.
This is basically what went down.
And then Barb started “crying” again. And she doubled down, and wiped away said fake tears. Again.
Nobody is buying your act, Barb. However, we are starting to understand why Peter kept Victoria F. around for so long.
And then ladies and gentleman….what we’ve been waiting for all season….she begged Peter to BRING HER HOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMME TO US. Who was HER? Hannah Ann.
Barb said, “We will welcome her with open arms, with all the love in the world. She’s a dream come true and God has placed her there for you.”
I tell ya, she’s a real piece of work.
She went on and on about how she believes that God has chosen Hannah Ann for him, above Madi who wants him to grow in his relationship with God. I mean, THAT’S RICH BARB.
I have to say, I had not imagined that the bring her home to us bit was about Hannah Ann.
Peter (looking hella annoyed at his mama) straight up said “You’ve gotta stop doing this.”
And I wanted to stand up and give Peter the slow clap.
He followed it with “This is insane.”
THIS IS IN FACT INSANE!
I absolutely LOVE that he shut Barb down!
Because Barb, you really do have to stop this.
You’re being RIDICULOUS. And a faker.
Madi, listen to me now. This is muy importante.
I don’t care that you love Peter.
DO YOU REALLY WANT THIS WOMAN AS A MOTHER IN LAW?
LAST DATE WITH MADI
They hopped in a helicopter to see the sites, and there was a voice over of Madi explaining how she now finally saw how they are just very different people. And how she realized that it was now time to surrender.
She said, “As much as we want this, I don’t know if we can give each other what we need.”
MY GOSH HER PARENTS MUST BE PROUD.
She continued with, “I’m willing to walk away so you can get what you came here to find.”
Peter asked, “Why don’t you think you’re that person?”
Madi should have made a long list that started and ended with Barb. But instead, she said “We just see things so differently. There’s always going to be this level of misunderstanding. When it comes to marriage, when it comes to faith, when it comes to lifestyle….it’s all different. I don’t know that we are the best for each other.”
This girl is wise beyond her years.
Peter was absolutely heartbroken.
And I don’t know if he knew it yet, but Barb was 100% responsible for Madi’s change in direction.
He tried everything he could to make Madi believe that they could work together, but Madi just didn’t believe it. During their entire conversation she was being incredibly sweet and respectful. I really believed that she loved Peter, but she also just thought they had too many obstacles to get past.
He walked her to the car and she left.
In summary, they definitely had big differences in thoughts on marriage and religion. However, it really seemed to me like Peter really loved her and was willing to make some changes. And not just willing, it seemed to me like he was excited to make those changes for the woman he loved. Like he said to his brother, that’s what relationships are about!
But let’s be honest, the real winner here is the girl that doesn’t end up with Barb as a mother in law.
Can you even imagine?
PETER’S CONVERSATION WITH HARRISON
The next morning, Peter was still broken-hearted that Madi had left. He met with Harrison to talk it out. Peter said, “I’m mourning this relationship right now, but I also know that I’m in love with Hannah Ann.”
I’m just not sure if I believed him. It really seemed to me that he was talking himself in to loving Hannah Ann simply because he knew that she loved him.
Harrison said, “Can you get over this heartbreak, or is it over?”
Peter just didn’t know.
LAST DATE WITH HANNAH ANN
It’s like she swung by 5-7-9 on her way to their desert date.
The girl loves her wedge sneakers, but she didn’t think the mini skirt through.
They were picked up in a vehicle that looked like that we were going to head to Jurassic Park, but instead, they went to swaddle baby kangaroos. It was actually pretty adorable.
And then guess what, y’all.
It hadn’t even been 24 hours since Madi broke his heart, but Peter was suddenly ALL IN with Hannah Ann. Well, I take that back. He was kinda all in. #takeaminutetoprocessthat
But Hannah Ann was skeptical. She said that she knew something was off when looking in his eyes.
WOW. The girl was way more intuitive than I gave her credit for.
That night, in a last ditch effort to win his full heart, Hannah Ann broke out her best body con dress. Peter showed up in a Merona hoodie. I felt it was very symbolic of their feelings.
They sat on the couch and Peter told her that his heart was being pulled in 2 different directions, he just neglected to tell her that Madi had already left, and yet his heart was still being pulled in 2 different directions. Which is kinda important.
And that was it for Part 1 of the finale.
WHAT DO Y’ALL THINK?
WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN?
DID Y’ALL DISLIKE BARB AS MUCH AS I DID?
Because JUST WAIT.
Make sure you come back tomorrow for the real train wreck.
DO YOU NEED TO CATCH UP ON ALL THINGS BACHELOR?
Click HERE for my musings from Week 1 where we met all the girls and knew we were going to be in for a wild ride.
Click HERE for my musings from Week 2. You know the episode, it’s where our “shy little wall flower with insecurity issues” stripped down to black lace lingerie on the runway ON NATIONAL T.V. and made out with Peter. Good times.
Click HERE for my musings from Week 3. It was the week of the lamest pool party EVER.
Click HERE and scroll down to WHAT ARE WE WATCHING for my musings for Week 4. I once again tried to educate the general population on how to fill out a Bachelor application, should you ever apply.
Click HERE for my musings from Week 5. I mean, you have to read about MyKenna’s tongue.
Click HERE for Week 6. It’s where I questioned Madi’s love for Peter since her thighs weren’t acting appropriately.
Click HERE for my musings from Hometown Dates!
Click HERE for all my Fantasy Suite thoughts (scroll down to the WHAT I AM WATCHING prompt)!
Click HERE for The Women Tell All.