I know.
It’s craziness around here.
(My Pinspired Outfit is at the bottom of this post!)
My blog calendar is getting increasingly hard to manage, and with the SCORE REPORT contest tomorrow and Christmas in July yesterday, it just had to be this way this week.
REMEMBER TO SEND YOUR ENTRIES TO ME BY 8:00 TONIGHT for the contest!!!!
Now, to just add one more thing to the mix (because why not?),
you need to make sure you check out Shay’s post HERE.
She gives AMAZING travel tips and tricks, and you don’t want to miss it!
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TIME FOR THE BACHELORETTE RECAP!
Harrison started out the show by saying, “The television event of the summer starts right now.”
What was going to happen?
I figured we were finally going to see what all of the ugly crying was about,
and that made me anxious.
Either way, I was a bit twitchy.
(I am a fan of the colored cut offs and cardigan/jacket thing look for sure.)
Click HERE for my favorite cut-offs from GAP (VERY limited sizing left).
Click HERE for my favorite colored ts from J Crew Factory (on sale now!)
I searched for a great poncho cardigan thing like Des’s, but I came up empty.
When listening to Des, it is CRYSTAL CLEAR that she only has eyes for Brooks.
And I’m again left wondering, what does ABC have up their sleeves?
Why are they willing to let us know that Des has already fallen for Brooks?
Well my friends, we get the answer tonight…..we also get an ugly cry…..so stay tuned for that.
they buy things from street vendors, and they do the limbo.
Can’t picture what I’m talking about?
Don’t you worry.
I googled it.
But I digress.
While they were shopping the street vendors, Drew said, “Every single thing we buy today is just one more memory for us. Something for us to display in our house one day.” Well, you’re right about 1 thing Drew. They are memories. Memories you will be clinging to and scrapbooking about because the girl is just not that into you.
And now comes my heartfelt plea to the producers.
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND RIGHT IN THE WORLD,
TURN DOWN THE MICROPHONES SOUND TEAM!
NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR KISSING SOUNDS.
sister and mom.
Huh?
What?
A rogue visit with the family before the exotic dates?
Well. I never.
Let me sum it up for you.
(I’m now starting to understand why ABC was so fine with letting us know that Des already loved Brooks. They were just upping the drama factor.)
Chris is up next.
#flowerchild
#jennyinforrestgump
Seriously, does The Bachelorette stylist hate her or something?
“Have you ever said that I make you feel vibrant?”
“Yes. I told Debbi (a lady he works with) that exact thing earlier today.”
Chris!
Wouldn’t it be great if he would mix it up and throw us off guard with a meaningful rap about his feelings or maybe even an interpretive dance?
He decided to stick with the poetry.
Dangit.
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OKAY.
Now before we go on to the date with Brooks, I feel like we need some sort of
emotional intermission.
You know, just a small little time-out before stuff gets real.
Click HERE if you missed my FAVORITE picks from the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale.
Click HERE if you missed my Christmas in July post. Lots of great (and affordable) gift ideas!
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Brooks? Have you seen her rocking body? Why don’t you want to marry that?)
It shows Brooks in his room getting ready, and then there is knock on the door..
It’s Harrison.
Time for a little come to Jesus meeting.
Over the next 15 minutes or so, Chris asks Brooks everything his mom and sister asked him,
and they arrive at the same conclusion.
If Brooks doesn’t love Des, and he doesn’t think he ever well, it’s time to hang up his hair gel and mosey on down the rode.
Harrison looked just as confused as I felt.
Cut back to Des who is talking about Brooks and about how it’s going to be just the two of them ,
That’s sweet Des.
Except for one tiny little detail.
Brooks is about to jump ship.
In fact, you can see all of the serpent pieces Stella and Dot has HERE.
(If you decide to shop, enter “S Sims” as the stylist so I can earn credit to
buy prizes for future giveaways!)
The serpent line is super “in” right now and I love how edgy it is.
All right. Enough fashion talk. Back to the drama.
So here is a summary of the next like 45 minutes (but I swear it seemed much longer).
Brooks says he doesn’t love her.
Des cries.
Des says she does love Brooks.
Des cries.
Brooks says he wishes he loved her.
Des cries in the fetal position.
Brooks tries to hug her.
Des thwarts his comforting attempts.
Des asks Brooks what happened.
Brooks fiddles with his hair.
Repeat this scenario like 8 times.
Then ask yourself where the last 57 minutes of your life went.
I would like a body language expert to chime in and analyze the above picture.
IS IT JUST ME, or does it seem as if they are sending mixed signals!
Brooks is saying “I don’t love you”, while gently caressing her upper thigh.
Des is saying, “Stop.” and “Don’t” when he tries to comfort her, yet her leg is casual draped over his.
I’m confused.
I have some things to say about that question:
1) Would it have made a difference? You’re saying you don’t love her.
2) Um, Brooks. HAVE YOU EVER WATCHED THE BACHELOR BEFORE.
Rule #1: The lead must never reveal personal feelings.
Rule #2: The lead must never use the word “love” until the proposal.
Rule #3: Even if a person tells the lead that she loves him/her,
the lead is supposed to just stare back blankly.
Or maybe just a bobby pin.
THIS EPISODE REALLY WAS PACKED FULL OF DRAMA!
Touting it as “the television even of the summer” might have been over-selling it just a bit, but the drama was definitely there.
Brooks FINALLY gives her one last kiss on the head, and then walks away.
(It’s about freaking time.)
Des cries at the end of a pier.
Brooks paces back and forth crying, and totally starts questioning his feelings.
To his credit, he seems GENUINELY upset.
And I can’t blame Brooks.
He knows he cares for her….he just didn’t know if he LOVED her.
AND IF THAT IS WHAT IS GOING ON HERE, THAT’S OKAY!
I’m just going to throw it out there….
but MAYBE it is possible that he was having such strong feelings about feeling so terrible about hurting her that he started to think “Maybe I do love this girl?”
I don’t know.
It’s just a theory.
But I think ol’ Brooks comes back.
I think he realizes that he loves her…or maybe he just realizes it’s possible that he could love her (which would be totally acceptable after just knowing her for around 6 weeks).
I also want to throw it out there that if he doesn’t come back, and Des ends up with either Drew or Chris, I’m guessing she had some explaining to do after Monday’s episode.
I’m just sayin’.
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Okay……if any of you are still here after the super long recap…..
it is now time for Pinspired!
You can grab the code on my sidebar!
That’s all for today.
I’m going to go take a nap, but I hope you link up your Pinspired outfit!
Oh wait!!!!
LORI B. is the winner of her choice of a Collete’s Closet dress.
Click HERE to see the rafflecopter at the end of the post.
Mix and Match Mama says
I'm a total mess just reading your recap. First of all, I really think Chris Harrison needs you to be his sidekick on the show. You could just stand there and interject your funny commentary as the mess unfolds.
Second, I needed that emotional break. Nothing helps me digest an episode of the Bachelorette like some quick online shopping at Nordstrom.
And finally, the fact that you managed to squeeze Pinspired into that post and make it look seamless…well friend, you have a real talent.
Oh and by the way…I totally think when Chris Harrison says next week will be "the most dramatic finale ever"…he's probably right. I will never doubt that man again.
Rachel says
I couldn't believe that episode–and I'm completely confused how they are going to fit 2 hours of finale in after it. I don't really want to watch her break Drew and Chris's hearts.
love your striped shirt!
and you ARE vibrant 🙂
http://www.floralandfudge.blogspot.com
Kellyann Rohr says
Sheaffer you are just the best! I don't even watch the bachelorette but I enjoy reading your recaps so much. You are so entertaining!!!
Caitlyn says
Same here, never watched the show, strangely addicted to Sheaffer's recaps 🙂
Meagan @ The Clanahan Fam says
Ok, I am not watching the Bachelorette this season but your recaps make me laugh out loud every time! Hilarious. Jenny Gump line – classic. Side note: I cannot get on the Palazzo Pant return train. They need to stay where they belong, in the 90s. My personal favorites were from Wet Seal, black & white stripe which I rocked with a black sleeveless shirt that tied around the waist – in the same black & white pant material. Fantastic.
Lauren says
Love your posts! I really wish I could add up all the days and hours I've wasted watching this season. I wish I could say this week's ep made it all worth it but it didn't. I miss Zak – at least he was entertaining. Brooks reminds me of a pirate. Drew has more beautiful skin than any woman could ever have and what girl wants to envy her hubby's gorg skin and hairless cat bod every day for the rest of her life? And Chris' poetry makes me rock back and forth in the fetal position in sheer embarrassment for him. On a side note I totally agree about the stylist situation. Maybe she went on vaca and left Des to her own devices? Maybe Des got dressed in the dark? I also think Brooks comes back. If not, I can't imagine either of the two guys left would feel good about that…
Lauren
Thebudgetingfashionista.blogspot.com
Katie Paladino says
Hilarious recap as usual!! Loved your outfit! So true about your waist and boobs! If this was me I may wear this outfit 24/7;) Just saying!
Cheryl says
I absolutely love your recaps…so funny……and wasn't that show on Monday hard to watch???….it was the car accident…you know you shouldn't be looking but you can't help yourself…….spoilers out there say she is engaged to Brooks….?????……if that is true, I'm real confused about that….I think Des may have some self esteem issues…….Chris Harrison gave Brooks PLENTY of chances to be like I could possibly marry this girl…down the road, etc….and Brooks wasn't having it….he plainly stated…I love so many things about Des but I am not in love with Des……I'm sure he felt bad about hurting her……but why, oh, why would she get engaged to this man, at this point???……I'm hoping the spoilers are wrong….ha, ha……and yes, after Des stated that she loved him and Brooks is like why didn't you tell me?…I thought Des was looking at him like a huge purple monster…or like maybe a little bit of a dumb a** (sorry for my language)…ha, ha…..but she was looking at him like buddy, are you that dense, we are on a tv show….ha, ha……
Jen Pogue says
I'm so glad I read your recap because that emotional roller-coaster went on so long that I got on my computer. Now, at least I know what happened! Next week will definitely be interesting! As for your Get Pin-Spired outfit, I've never been a fan of diagonal stripes, but you look amazing in that tank!
Kimberly says
Brooks coming back next week was totally my guess as well!!!! Just because of the way they ended it, Brooks really starting to realize how much he does care for her. Why else would they make us wait a week to see what happens?
Andrea says
BEST recap of the entire season!
Meagan says
I seriously LOVE your weekly recaps, so funny!! They are one the highlights of my week….is that sad?! Oh well, I'm totally ok with that!!
Totally agree, Brooks comes back next week which explains why we have seen previews of Chris & Drew crying like babies!
Nicki says
I can't wait to wake up on Thursday mornings and read your recaps! 🙂 And I totally agree… I'm OVER the loud kissing sounds. Disgustuing. We don't need all that, ABC producers! I haven't really been into this season much, but still watching every week and it's sad that the last two episodes are the best! Hope you keep the recaps going even when the next Bachelor starts! 🙂
aprilparrish says
Wow, you summed that up very well!!! I agree with everything you said!!! Can't wait to see how all this mess works out!!!
Brittany F. says
100% agree on the mic guys turning that junk down. It creeps me out every time I have to hear Des make-out on my Monday evening.
And I WISH I had be drawn in by Harrison's "most dramatic episode ever", but yet again, I was totally bored. I just wanted the break up to end. The horse was already beaten to death, let it lie, for the love. I shared my thought on it here…http://saltwaterandsnowstorms.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-boredomette.html
My man Harrison, please have something great in store for us next week. I beg you. Like possibly Juan Pablo swimming back and saving the day??!!
Alison @ Get Your Pretty On says
I am so sad that I missed another link up. One of these months I WILL get my stuff together and do a Pinterest inspired look so that I can link up!
Kelly Z says
I loved Des's green bikini, just not sure what she was wearing over it.
I totally agree with you on the 1. why should it matter if he wasn't in LOVE with her that she LOVED him. What you'd love her because she loved you??? And if she does pick one of the other two once they saw Monday's episode I'm not sure how it could last.
Kathy Olson says
I just received my order from Nordstroms. I bought the Kut boot cut jeans and they fit wonderfully! Both you and Cassie (hisugarplum.blogspot.com) had shown them. My husband says I need to order another pair. Thank you so much! We don't have a Nordstroms around here (sadly), but thank goodness for online shopping. I appreciate your shopping tips, Sheaffer!!
Liz/happymommy says
I SO look forward to your recaps every week. Yes, I agree this season has been quite boring but I was so pumped for Monday's episode and to me it did not disapoint! When my husband walked in and I was crying like a baby. I just looked at him and said "sh** just got real on The Bachelorette" and I think he kind of wanted to have me committed right then and there, ha! I give Brooks a lot of credit for manning up and admitting his feelings and even though he doesn't feel he is completely in love with her, that doesn't mean they can't work out….you don't have to get engaged at the end of the show. I have liked Brooks from the beginning so to see them both so torn up about what he was feeling really made me feel bad for them both. I know it's a show and the producers tweek the crap out of everything to make it all look the most dramatic but I felt like what was going on there was real. I am guessing he is coming back next week and I can't wait for that reunion! As for the other 2 guys, watching this show now….i would be so pissed and pretty much hate Des for the way she led them both on (really all of the guys) since she was basically in love with Brooks from the beginning. i think she will get a lot of crap for that! Until next week…..
mel @ the larson lingo says
I think Brooks comes back next week also. He has been my #1 pick for her all along. UGH. I was so BUMMED for her on Monday. I was like…."NOOOOOO. Make this stop!!" and hoping he would change his mind. Monday was a trainwreck….didn't want to watch, but couldn't look away!
Jenna {Real Simple Girl} says
Monday's Bachelorette was pure craziness! I totally agree that ABC needs to turn down the mics during the kissing, and perhaps turn it up while they're whispering to each other and Brooks is dumping Des??! I couldn't hear half of what either of them said! I also think Brooks will be coming back next week.
As for your Pinspired outfit, I love that one!! It looks fantastic on you. You really should wear it every day for the rest of your life! 🙂
Sarah says
Books hair blowing in the wind on that pier was AT LEAST 14 inches long. Dude needs a haircut.
Priscilla says
Hey, still looking for that striped ponco? I found Des' poncho online! It's the Naples Sweater by Goddis.
Here's the link to the sweater on Revolve clothing's website
http://www.revolveclothing.com/DisplayProduct.jsp?product=GODD-WK83&utm_source=display&utm_medium=retargeting&utm_campaign=Tellapart&source=Tellapart&cvosrc=Retargeting.Tellapart
Traci says
Can you find a cheaper one? JK….that was so cute, but the price tag was more than I could handle 🙂
Traci says
Your recaps are the highlight of my week!! You have a gift Girlfriend.
The Lovely One says
I agree with you that Brooks comes back. He HAS to. Either that, or she picks no one. There's no way she would do that to Drew or Chris…. would she?
{Hi Sugarplum!} says
This is greatness. I thought I was the only person still saying mugging down. and dang, that was some muggin'. The screengrab of harrison's face was awesome. How about when Brooks really starts to cry and spews spittle?! that was embarrassing for him to watch back, I'm sure!!
i'm with you, b comes back. how des saves face about accepting him back with be interesting. and poor chris and drew having to watch all this now!!! hopefully they are spared the getting on one knee part!!!!