First off, I have a HUGE shout out!
If you’ve been gone for a couple of weeks because you thought I wasn’t updating, take a minute and scroll backwards through posts and play catch up!
Don’t forget that Father’s Day is not this weekend, but next weekend.
Click HERE to shop Nordstrom’s SUPER ORGANIZED Father’s Day gift giving guide.
I received an e-mail that today (Thursday) is the last day to shop with free shipping with
guaranteed arrival by Father’s Day.
It’s organized by category and price, so it’s very user friendly!
Click HERE if you want to see MY PERSONAL gift giving guide from Monday
and enter the AWESOME J. Hilburn contest for your man!
Several of you were kicking yourselves that you missed your chance before they sold out.
Well, I have no explanation for it, but several are back in stock, and they are still on sale.
And they actually added a couple of more to the selection. Don’t ask questions, just go with it.
Go HERE right now and see what is still available (if anything).
If you are like me and can only afford MK watches when they are 40% off,
NOW IS THE TIME!
Click HERE.
{THIS is the one I got! SO excited!}
AND…..I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw that the
leopard Sam Edelman wedges are now 50% off! WHAT?
Click HERE for the leopard.
Click HERE for the zebra.
There are also some Ivanka Trump turquoise or coral wedges for 50% off HERE…
and a red and pink Tory Burch Espadrille HERE that has great reviews!
AND I JUST GOT AN E-MAIL THAT GAP IS 35% OFF YOUR ENTIRE PURCHASE.
TODAY ONLY (JUNE 6TH) WITH CODE GAPTREAT.
CLICK HERE.
#absencemakestheheartgrowfonder
He even looks cute with his eyes closed, and I love a baseball t.
I really liked him on the date!
Next stop, food truck for wedding cake.
Third stop, the second L of the Hollywood sign for a picnic in their wedding attire..
Fourth stop, private candlelit dinner at the end of a blocked off street with (I know this is going to be shocking) a private concert at the end of the street.
#there’snothinwrongwithdimples
#amirightladies?
And if the toothpaste companies don’t come calling, I’m thinking Pantene is probably next in line.
Although, I will throw it out there that his hair may have had a touch too much product in it.
You won me over on this date.
Harrison shows up to hand out the group date card, and there seemed to have been an impromptu colored v-neck competition going on.
And these 3 are all IN IT TO WIN IT.
I would like to declare Mikey the winner.
Sun-washed pink DEEP v-neck FOR THE WIN Mikey!
The producers outdid themselves with the group date.
Soulja Boy.
The idea of all of these seriously white boys dancing with Soulja Boy had me giddy with anticipation.
And the date did not disappoint.
I do want to put it out there that I am feeling super sorry for Soulja Boy at this juncture in his career.
And let’s just take a moment to look at his shoes.
They confuse me.
Come on.
This is t.v. gold.
Not good with the names yet, so bare with me.
They put this poor guy in panties and a vest, and he actually used the phrase “jiggle my junk” at one point. I may or may not have crawled under my kitchen table and started rocking back and forth.
And please pay special attention to the middle picture.
Why?
Why in the world was he sitting spread eagle sans pants?
Why?
Why?
It is truly TRULY one of the worst (AND BEST) things I’ve ever seen.
I would like to extend a personal challenge to all:
Try not to put your hands up over your eyes while watching it…
because I’m telling you right now, it can’t be done.
This is ALL KINDS OF WRONG.
And I kind of love it. 😉
Seriously, I beg you…take the next 1 min and 2 sec to watch this video.
I have to say that I would like to go ahead and give Alli a big ol’ high five for her ability to not laugh, cry, and puke during his little serenade.
I mean, can you imagine what was going through her head?
*killme,killmenow
and I think he did a great job redeeming himself from the clothes embargo.
Or, and just go with me here,
could it be possible that one of the producers just picked up an empty journal at Barnes and Noble, scribbled a little note on it, and then gave it to Zac to give to Des.
It’s possible.
Where are their microphones? In their mouths?
Please, I beg you, turn the volume down.
If I have to see tongues, I would prefer not to hear them too.
The date was fine.
He told us about a horrible accident he was in. And his show-and-tell was complete with visual aids of the accident scene and his injuries.
#ifyouwanttobeonthebachelorette,youbetterhaveabackstory
After they have dinner they head to the hot tub (the first hot tub scene of the season)!
I found myself trying to telepathically communicate with Des and will her to just slowly lean in for a kiss and gently tousle his hair a little bit.
That’s all it needs! Just a good tousle!
COME ON DES!
Run your fingers through his hair already!!!!
And maybe have a little bit of product close by.
#alittledabwilldoya
I did love it when Des said “just kiss me already”.
Ooh wait, I just had an idea.
Maybe Brooks can just casually stroll by and rub his head on Bryden’s and transfer some of his product to Bryden.
That could work.
Now it’s cocktail party time, which should really just be known as
THE PARADE OF MALADIES.
EVERYBODY had a story of personal growth and eventual triumph.
We already heard about Bryden’s accident.
Brandon then told us how he raised his family because his dad left and his mom was a drug addict.
(I did feel awful for Brandon. I can’t imagine. Good for him for coming out of it!)
 |
| found on google image, but couldn’t fine original source |
If you don’t follow @Possessionista on twitter, that’s a crying shame.
She is SO MUCH FUN to follow during The Bacheor.
Some of my favorites:
I can never shave my knees correctly. #thestruggle
I wore head gear in middle school. My mom laughed at me.
Irrational fear of popsicle sticks.
I have seasonal allergies.
I think my cat might be bullimic.
Because let’s be honest, if you are going to be on The Bachelor series, you totally need a back story.
I thought on it for a minute, and here’s mine:
A really small bladder.
#it’sharderthanyouthinkandit’ssomethingidealwitheachandeveryday
And let me just say, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a group of guys get more collectively fired up.
Actually, to say that they were FIRED UP would be like saying that the sun is lukewarm.
So, right now I’m still a fan of Ben,
but I want to recognize that I know that most likely won’t last long.
Did we learn nothing from Ryan’s unfortunate wardrobe choice?
Okay…that’s all for The Bachelorette this week!
Becky says
Hahahaha. I've been waiting for this. I was pretty surprised she picked Brooks for the first date, but he won me over.
I thought the level of awkwardness was fairly high on Bryden's date.
And I didn't even click on the video because I can't watch him sing again. I physically cannot handle it.
Mix and Match Mama says
It's 5:26 am and I just laughed and laughed and laughed! So funny! How has Zac become my favorite? I really love him now. And Bryden's hair…I could hardly look at him. I would have sent him home just because of the hair!
Jenny M says
I was so uncomfortable when she took Brooks to the bridal salon…for the first 1:1. But it took me back to her "practical jokester" side with Sean when she got "lost" and decided to take him down a "closed road" to find a private bridge with dinner waiting. Maybe seeing how they handle awkwardness is part of the fun for her too? That's a pretty intense first date!
Becky says
Love your recaps! During the 1st episode I though shirtless Zak was kind of a joke, but I really like home now also! I also like Bryden (Minus the hair) and Michael.
Sue says
Right, about the kissing noises????!!!!!! OMG so gross! And Ben with his smarmy lean in with the hand an awkward thumb sticking out on her chin….yuck! Your recaps are HY.STER.I.CAL!
Cheryl says
While I realize at this point, Des doesn't know the whole house doesn't like Ben…..I keep thinking back……if someone is disliked by the whole house, get them out…there is something wrong there…..what were Shay's words to Sean???…yes, live and learn….ha, ha…and while she doesn't know that Ben is universally disliked…..she has to know that she is setting him up to be disliked…she gave him the very first impression rose…..and then when she is on a date with 14 guys, she picks him to give the date rose to???….there wasn't one other fellow on that date she could have given the rose to….????….I mean she clearly likes Ben….so she knows she's going to keep him….why give him that date rose?…..I get the feeling he is doing himself in at the house but she sure isn't helping him any!!!!
Aubs says
I really liked the chemistry between Brooks & Des!!! He definitely didn't stand out to me week 1 but I really liked him (for her) this week!
Cracking up about the v neck t's…totally didn't even notice that but its hilarious!!!
Hope the editing dept gets your memo about the kissing sounds ~ its gross and sloppy sounding!!
Great re-cap ~ I can always count on smiles & laughs reading your blog and its a great way to start the day!! =)
Jen {Whimsy at Heart} says
I laughed so hard about the kissing noises part! I totally heard it & it grossed me out! Great recap, as always!
Tara G. says
Love you for writing these so I don't have to waste time watching…..eww on the amplified tongue wrestling!
Brianna says
I'm dying.
Well, not literally, but after reading your recap, I physically hurt. SO FUNNY! And spot on, of course! The whole Ben thing is totally causing flashbacks of Tierra-ble. Make it stop!
Also, I would like to personally thank you for your letter to the editing department!! "Where are their microphones? In their mouths?" L.O.V.E!
I watched the singing video. Now I want to cry. I was wondering if there was room under your table for me to sit and rock back and forth for a while? TERRIBLE. HORRIBLE. I want to vomit. So thankful that man is no longer on television. Pretty sure the world is thankful, too.
AGAIN, thanks so much for such a great recap! I'll be coming back week after week! 🙂
aprilparrish says
I can't stop laughing as always!!!! Great recap! I agree 100% about the little tank that Ben is wearing, but he is so cute I can't help, but to like him. I thought Ben did handle himself well when some of the boys confronted him about his "swoopage." My thoughts are- instead of wasting your time fussing at Ben use your time wisely and go TALK to DES!!!
The producers really need to hire a hair stylist for these dudes!
Have a great day! 🙂
Ashley Wright says
Seriously, I'm dying! I love your recaps! I still haven't found a huge reason to dislike Ben either, but now thinking back, his baby mama story was a little bit off. Maybe that is foreshadowing, maybe he will be the crazy one. #ihopeso after all, what's the bachelor/bachelorette without a little #imeanalot of drama?
Rachel says
ahh, the pink deep v-neck! and the tank top Ben will wear!
I'm disappointed that Ben probably isn't going to be who we all thought he would be at the beginning!
I have high hopes for Drew, even though we haven't seen much from him. He is so smiley and sweet!
Stephen wrote another funny post, from a guy's perspective: 🙂
Stephen's week 2 recap
Alison Schluenz says
So funny! I was thinking the same with Brooks hair! He needs a trim and less product. I was also thinking the same thing as you on the back and forth between Des and Bryden in the hot tub – talk about repitive! It was terrible until she asked him to kiss her. That helped out the situation a lot! Good times!
Rachel Knows Best says
Once the guys finally tell Des they don't like Ben and that he acts differently when Des is around she better listen. I hope she remembers how all the girls in the house felt about Tierra and Sean didn't listen at first. If I remember correctly Tierra got the first impression rose too and roses on the group dates. I am seeing a pattern here. When I saw the preview for next week with the ambulance I couldn't but to think, did somebody throw themselves down the stairs because they aren't getting enough attention?
Paige says
You are so funny! And everything you say is so true! Love it! Thanks for the laughs!
Caravan Sonnet says
oh happy day…. your recap! 🙂 hahaha 🙂 I actually rolled my eyes when Des said "what a great group of guys" because I thought umm… did we watch the correct 1st night episode or was that a joke by ABC then? hahaha. Thanks so much for (as always) bringing a smile and laugh to our lives!!
🙂 Have a wonderful day!
🙂 Rebecca
Sabrina says
LOVE LOVE LOVE your recaps. You write these like I talk–and I LOVE that!! 🙂
I love bachelorette talk!
#i'mstillusinghashtags
#hashtagboywillneverliveitdown
Jaren says
I soooo could not wait for your recap!
Krista says
This recap is spot on AND hilarious! I love it love it love it! I'm a huge fan of Lincee Ray's ihategreenbeans.com recaps too. Between yours and hers, I giggle all week long about the silliness we watch on the Bachelorette.
Anonymous says
I was gonna post the exact same thing! Between Sheaffer's and Lincee's recaps, my abdominal muscles hurt from laughing so hard!
Missy
Jenna says
I feel that way, too! I also love when they focus on the same things from an episode, such as the word "fellas."
Team Seghs says
I'm eating lunch at a Thai restaurant by myself (heaven) and I'm laughing out loud and smiling so big and people are giving me sideways glances. My lunch was perfect, and my reading material totally entertaining! Thank you!!!!! You deliver, yet again!
Kristi says
Your recaps are always the best! I'm glad I am not the only one that had never seen guy 3 to get sent home before!
Katherine Madsen says
You are so funny! I have been looking forward to your recap ever since I watched on Monday… And you did NOT dissappoint! Looking forward to next week already!
Amy says
Loved the recap! I am at work but burst out laughing when I read "Where are their microphones? In their mouths?" and "have a really small bladder.
A really small bladder.
Like, stupid small.
#it'sharderthanyouthinkandit'ssomethingidealwitheachandeveryday"
Good stuff! Brandon's back story breaks my heart. And I actually LOVE Brooks and Des together so far! He was totally different than I was expecting (judging by his looks).
Laci Murray says
Completely agree about Bryden needing hair gel and Des selling herself short on the selection of guys this season!
Kimberly says
You write the freaking best recaps of this show. The maximum amount of funny with way less mean than most other reviewers. My favs are Brooks and Zac (seriously, who would have thought???) But I'm waiting one more episode before I reveal such things on my bloggy blog.
Katie {Always, Katie} says
Ooh, I hope the diabetic kid turns out to at least be a decent guy so I can root for him out of solidarity with another type 1 😉 That, and I guess I'll need to, like, watch it some. But your recaps have been way informative, so I feel like I'm not too far behind!
{Hi Sugarplum!} says
Yay — my fave day of the week…Sheaffer recap day!! those guys with the beefy arms scare me a little…that's a lot of time spent at the gym. #aintnobodygottimeforthat
And why am I creeped out by shirtless zac's profession…drilling fluid?! gross, what is that?! and where the heck is mico?!?!
Andrea says
I could not agree more about Bryden's hair! They also really needed to hit the mute button on their mics when kissing too. So nasty!