WELL THEN YOU WOULD BE WRONG MY FRIENDS.
THIS. IS. PAINFUL.
I’m going to try to find the funny, but I make no promises.
Here goes nothing……
and it’s pretty much the best part of the whole show.
At this point we all still feel like the show has at least the possibility of being entertaining.
I did a STUDY IN DENIM, so I think it’s now totally obvious that Des must read my blog. 😉
Here I am weighing the pros and cons of white and dark denim…..
And here is Des…..ROCKING the white denim!
I MEAN, HELLO?
I love how she styled it with the floral scarf, coral skinnies, and wedges.
Well done Des.
And great news…the white denim jacket is now 25% off!!!
Click HERE for jacket!
Great floral scarf HERE.
Other scarf options HERE that are all super affordable.
Nope. Not ever. Bad Brooks.
I literally felt like the guys were zoo animals at this point.
But all I could think about is that the ABC producers missed an opportunity to bring back Selma and put her in a swimsuit.
SHAME ON YOU ABC.
GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!
Please, no e-mails saying that “stupidist” isn’t a word. I’m aware. I just like the way it sounds.
Wouldn’t the two look great together?
Shirt HERE / Skirt HERE
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the shirt (HERE).
It comes in several different colors and fits so well. I was in an x-small, and I normally wear a small..so keep that in mind if you order.
I will definitely be getting one for fall.
It will look great with our new favorite distressed jeans (HERE).
*2 sizes of the jeans are now sold out, so make sure you get them before your size is sold out too!
Sorry for the clothes aside, back to the date.
Des and Brooks are toying around with the idea of saying “I Love You” to each other, but neither one of them actually wants to say “I Love You” quite yet. It’s a conundrum to say the least. So, they decide to talk about “adjectives” that lead up to love.
They come up with the following “adjectives” that are on the way to love.
Still, there is not an adjective in the bunch.
Verb…..Verb…..Verb…..Verb…..Noun.
All of the 5th grade Language Arts teachers in America were shaking their collective heads.
I was a little surprised that Des admitted she was taking off in a run (even though his outfit for the night was more than questionable), but to the camera, Brooks said he just wasn’t quite there yet. Interesting.
***************
Let’s talk for a moment about when he asked to see the date card and then this happened….
yep. he sniffed it. he sniffed the card.
So, Chris and Des are headed out to sea on a private yacht.
They both talk about the chemistry they have together and rub each other down with sunscreen.
It appears as if Des’s legs are around 76 meters long.
And her feet! Look at her feet!
What is up with her toes?
(Probably nothing…I’m sure it’s the camera angle….but girlfriend’s toes look funky!)
boring
There continues to be LOTS of random shots of cats.
boring
I MEAN LITERALLY freak the freak out.
boring
Man! Up!
Roses Are Red, Violets are Blue…
If you write another poem my eyes are going to roll really far back into my head and I might puke.
which means that Drew and Zak are going to be going on the 2:1.
Yep, another exploring the city date.
boring
But my dedication to you people prevailed, and I stayed on the date with Michael and Des.
boring
There were more shots of random cats.
I feel it’s time for this quick message from Bob Barker:
“love is a wild ride”
and “just like when you’re falling in love, there are things that are just out of your control.”
And just fyi, I started hoping that the toboggan would run over a cat.
not boring
Now it’s time for dinner and wine.
Des shows up in a white dress and a dark denim jacket.
Further proof that she MUST read my blog, right? 🙂
Kut from the Kloth dark denim jacket HERE.
I think the dark denim looks great paired with the white!
Michael talks about how his dad left and how he is still in love with his ex-girlfriend.
*****************
However, the special surprise is a little time with Des…which Toy Story Ken gets too, so I’m not really sure what was so special about their time together since he won.
Boring, although I will say that shirtless and pantless Zak has really won me over.
#nobodyismoresurprisedatthisdevelopmentthanme
It must have been a hard decision for Des, but it’s possible that she’s seen this image floating around which may have swayed her rose vote. Right?
Time for the rose ceremony.
THANK HEAVENS.
dangit
I like to have a plan.
Whew.
He called his mom to let her know that she wasn’t going to get to meet Des.
It was a sad little display.
I would like to say that I’m looking forward to next week…
but that would be a lie.
Although I do LOVE hometown dates. There’s always room for a little crazy to peek it’s way in…
and we need some crazy. Right?
And speaking of CRAZY, it looks as if Des’s brother is going to get to make an appearance soon….
and that boy is CRAY CRAY.
*******************************
Before you go, I have two things to tell you about!
1)
The LOFT 50% off sale ends tonight.
And they changed it to not just select items….
it is 50% off of EVERYTHING with the code “EVERYTHING”.
You REALLY need to at least check the sale out.
And with the code EVERYTHING you also get free shipping if your order is over $100!
I think I’m going to pull the trigger on THIS maxi skirt.
MAKE SURE YOU ORDER 1 SIZE DOWN BASED ON THE REVIEWS!
I got 2 e-mails from readers yesterday saying they have it and LOVE it, so I think they’ve convinced me. I want to wear it with my J Crew Factory white v-neck, my denim jacket, and a statement necklace. Depending on the length I will either wear it with my nude flats or my putty wedges!
Other things I’m eyeing to get me to the $100 mark follow:
THIS super chick braided silk halter.
It would be great dressed up with black pants and heels, but just as cute with jeans!
THIS tie neck sleeveless dress is darling and has GREAT reviews.
THIS cardigan might be calling my name.
THESE leopard flats would only be $25!
And I feel like THESE earrings would go with everything!
Now I just need to decide quickly!
And finally, check out these awesome vintage looking necklaces.
Click HERE for the necklaces.
I got mine in the mail last week (I went with the red), and I’m so surprised how much it goes with.
In fact, I’m going to be featuring it next Friday with 2 other items that I am naming “WARDROBE STAPLES”. I styled all 3 pieces in 6 different outfits! It was so fun and so eye opening to see how key items can be worn all year round!
See you back here tomorrow!!!!!
you can follow me on facebook HERE
you can follow me on Pinterest HERE
you can find me on twitter at @simsslp
and you can now find me on instagram at @pinteresttoldmeto
Danielle says
I think the best part of this episode was Des' outfits! I love the skirt she wore and am checking it out now at nordstroms! Your recaps are the best part of the show! Hilarious 🙂
Cheryl says
Thank you Shaeffer……this season is so boring….they do nothing, they essentially say nothing….not seeing any "real" sparks…..I mean she says she is in love with Brooks…..but I personally don't see it…..the only thing that was in any way interesting about this episode…..the shot on the boat when they were coming in….that was gorgeous……..and the fact that she told Chris Harrison that she is in love with Brooks……and the producers left it in for us to see…..????…..that floored me……..they must know how bored we all are and were giving us a crumb!!!!……..thanks for holding on and doing the update!!!!
Maria says
I have that black striped skirt and I love it! You need to order a size down though.I'm so glad I read reviews before I bought it because I ordered a size down and it's perfect. My regular size would have been way too big.
Rachel says
the adjectives (but really verbs) grammar mistake bothered me too!
you have to catch the language in the previews whether they say "next week on the bachelor" or "coming up on the bachelor" because sometimes they share a few episodes in one. but I can't believe that she's telling Drew that he could have been the one–and why Drew could possibly back out when he's so smitten!
read
Stephen's week 7 lame duck episode ! 🙂
Kimberly says
THE CATS!!!! I wrote about them on my blog too and then thought, "people aren't going to remember the cats. They're going to think I'm making stuff up." But I left that part in and now I feel all sorts of validated!!!
I can't wait to see Brooks and Des come to Salt Lake. But of course I was excited for that with Jef and Emily and they pulled a fast one on me. I just want them to drive past my house or something on TV. Too much to ask????
Kelly says
I waited one day too long and my size sold out! I chatted live with customer service and they located the jeans in Texas for me and I will be calling them when they open to order over the phone!
candice0128 says
I think the only reason I'm still watching is to read your recaps. I'm glad I'm not the only person who thinks this season is boring. I was also upset not to see the drama that they showed at the end of the prior weeks show.
aprilparrish says
Well, the most exciting thing about this season of the Bachelorette is —Your Recaps!!!!
I've said it before snd I'm gonna say it again- Brooks does absolutely nothing for me and if he did after seeing him in those denim shorts would ruin any chance he ever had!!!!
I felt really bad for Zak when he didn't receive the rose. He is very thoughtful and tries very hard! I was wondering the same thing about his "special surprise"?????
I agree- the previews last week had me all pumped for Monday and then I was like nothing happened at ALL!!!
ABC needs to step it up a notch or 10!!! 🙂
Liz/happymommy says
I agree with you…BORING season but I'm still hanging on! I like Brooks but man needs a wardrobe makeover like yesterday! So glad Michael is gone…he creeped me out for some reason, I like Chris and their chemistry but the poetry gets to be a little too much after like the 43rd time and Drew, their is something about him I just don't like….although that pic you posted makes him look super hot but that's about all. Love your recaps and glad you have stuck with it even though it is quite BORING!
Linda says
I too felt so cheated by the lack of promised drama. Goodness knows this show needs something to pep it up. Oh, wait. Your recaps do that for me! I especially loved the cut to Bob Barker. You are sooo funny. Who else in the world would have thought of that? I truly would not watch another episode of this "ette" if I didn't want to be in on the jokes of your recap!
Lisa says
So glad I'm not the only one that noticed the misuse of "adjectives"! THAT one…although a minor thing if you really think about it…made me lose all respect for the show. Bahaha! Well…I suppose the word "respect" should be used loosely here!
Totally love your recaps. You bring a ton of fun to this otherwise boring party!
Katriel-Maria Berbert says
I appreciate the style tips throughout the recap! I think after this season, I might quit the bachelor forever.
Nicole says
OMG HER TOES!! I'm so glad you mentioned that. I totally noticed also. So gross! I hope for her sake and for Brooks (cause I think thats who she picks) that it was a bad camera angle. But really how could it be…..sorry.
This is the worst season ever, so boring.
Alana Wolfe says
I noticed the denim jacket right away too! Love your recaps….you make me laugh!!!
Mrs. Mess says
I kept waiting for tears too! I did love the white dress with the jean jacket though!
Rachel Hemsath says
Why does everyone think this season is so boring? I like Des and the remaining four guys. I think the dates on the season are more realistic and she is actually getting to know the guys. Last weeks preview was nothing like the episode. ABC was sneaky. I have loved Des' outfits. She is so cute and sweet.
really.truly says
So funny! I was thinking the same things…..Brook's jean shorts were so wrong, and those were not adjectives. Thanks for making me laugh!
Autumn says
I am so with you! As soon as it was *finally* over I exclaimed, "Where's the crying?!? I want to see some crying!" LOL!
Jenna {Real Simple Girl} says
Another great re-cap! I love how you incorporated fashion, too! Now I'm going to have to go back and re-read the post because that picture of Drew distracted me a little bit. I hadn't seen it before, but WOW! Love him!
Jenna Watley says
I have never commented on your recaps, but read them EVERY week and laugh out loud EVERY time! So, I just thought you deserved to know you rock! Definitely makes the season a little less boring 🙂
Aubs says
i was only kind of half watching this week and totally missed all the little things you mentioned! ha! like chris sniffing the card ~ wha?! and the odd camera angle. and I'm with you ~ well played abc ~ the previews last week had me all set to see some drama aanndd….nope. {sigh} good thing i'm no quitter cause I totally would of quit this season a long time ago! hope you have a great weekend!!! =)
Anonymous says
Hi Sheaffer!
Did anyone else notice that Des's BLUE GOWN got wet at least up to her ankles?
She walked down the stairs then walked to Chris H for a chat. The producers
must have hosed down the entire area like they do at the Bach Mansion.
Poor Des, dragging that extra weight to add to the stress of sending one of
the men home during the rose fest in Madeira. What the What? But she was a trooper. Props to her.
Your fan for life