I would like to start off by saying that by writing these Bachelorette recaps I really feel like I’m taking one for the team.
I am STRUGGLING this season.
That being said, I hope you enjoy……
But wait…before we get to The Bachelorette recap,
I feel a personal responsibility to share something with you.
You all know that I got my new MK watch last week and that I am in love with it.
I really do find myself staring at it like I did when I first got my engagement ring.
I’m fully aware that I’m ridiculous.
Please, no blog comments telling me so. 🙂
I know that several of you took advantage of the sale too based upon the e-mails I’ve received telling me that you too are totally in love with the watch. YAY us!
However, I am fully aware that even at 40% off, the watch is still very expensive.
I totally get it. It’s a big chunk of change.
So, I have a great alternative for those of you that want a similar look without the price!
CHECK THIS OUT.
Fossil recently released a new watch. Her name is Cecile.
Well, Hello Cecile.
What are the differences between the MK version and the Fossil version?
Cecile is white resin (not ceramic like the MK version – which means it’s lighter),
and her bling is round stones instead of baguettes…
Oh, and there is one more difference.
The Fossil version will save you $145!
That is some significant savings!
It will SAVE you One Hundred and Forty Five Dollars.
And I’m telling you, Cecile is GORGEOUS.
Cecile is a FABULOUS option for those of you out there that have been
wanting the look of MK watch but haven’t wanted to pay the price.
She comes in silver at Nordstrom HERE,
and she also comes in gold HERE (pictured below) and rose gold HERE on the Fossil website.
(I personally think that the Fossil silver version looks the nicest and the “most real”.)
When wearing them, the MK watch is quite a bit heavier and it is obviously nicer (which, good thing or I would be supper ticked I shelled out the big bucks for it!).
I’m still glad I got the MK version and am extremely happy with my purchase (even though it was much more expensive). And if you are really wanting a SUPER nice watch, I would still recommend going with the MK version.
However,
if you just want the “look”, Cecile is your girl.
Just check out the side by side I did and see for yourself!
Fossil on the left / Michael Kors on the right
I THINK THIS PICTURE IS AMAZING.
The Fossil option is awesome. RIGHT?!?
The thing I like the most about it is how the face is large just like the MK version.
And the bling is still plenty blingy.
WELL PLAYED FOSSIL. WELL PLAYED.
The Fossil version gives you all the bells and whistles! LOVE!
The silver Fossil version is HERE.
The gold Fossil version is HERE.
The rose gold Fossil version is HERE.
.
If you still think you want to spring for the MK version, you can find that HERE.
Okay, now that I’m done with my Public Service Announcement.,
You’re Welcome by the way…..
ON TO THE RECAP! 🙂
Oh wait!
I just received this e-mail from LOFT!
40% off of all dresses, cardigans, and jewelry….as well as other select items!
Click HERE to shop the entire sale by category!
So, that means ALL of these dresses that I highlighted here are now 40% off!
If you already bought one earlier in the week, join the club. Oh well….but at 40% off I’m thinking I need the 2nd one from the left too (it’s the same dress as the one on the far left, just a different color!)
Dress 1 HERE / Dress 2 HERE / Dress 3 – mine, sorry / Dress 4 (sold out) / Dress 5 HERE
{Denim jacket| not on sale, HERE}
Remember that in dresses #1 and #2 I would suggest going DOWN a size.
And check out THIS long spaghetti strapped number! Gorgeous on it’s own, but it would be SO cute with the denim jacket! It has GREAT reviews!!!!
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First up, Des has scheduled a friendly game of Dodgeball for the first group date.
(Let the record show, there is NO SUCH THING as a friendly game of Dodgeball.)
Let the record also show that when Des introduced us to the Dodgeball Association of America (or whatever they were called), I suddenly became a dodgeball fan.
You too?
Hmmm. Interesting.
The best 2 out of 3 would win.
Red won 1, and blue won 1.
It was time for the 3rd game.
Mikey, the FEDERAL PROSECUTER stated,and I quote….
“Now the final game comes……. This…… is it. This is for all ……….all the marbles. And what we think are marbles ……..would be ………….all the minutes with Desiree later in the night.”
Wow.
He is really a wizard with words.
I would love to see this guy in a courtroom.
#yourhonorhowdoyoutakethisguyseriouslywiththishairthatgetstallerandmorefullofbodywitheachepisode?
So, they are fighting to the death in the 3rd game, and Brooks breaks his finger.
THEY ARE PLAYING FOR ALL THE MARBLES FOR CRYING OUT LOUD and he goes and breaks his finger.
#medic
#mandown
And I understand a broken finger would hurt, I really really do.
BUT COME ON BROOKS! MAN UP!
Haven’t you heard that you’re playing for ALL THE MARBLES buddy?!?!
I will have to say that I might have laughed when he strolled back into the party, maybe a little high on some pain meds, holding his injured finger up in the air like his life depended on it, still in his dodgeball attire. I mean, come on. The guy looks seriously loopy.
#shortshortsandsweatbandsforever
Then it was time for Brad to get a little bit of alone time with Des.
He led with “I have some things to tell you.”
Topping the list, I have a kid.
A close second, I was arrested of domestic violence.
And finally, I had a restraining order filed against me.
Cool.
In his defense, I will say it sounds his baby mama night be a little cray cray.
He actually seemed sweet.
Chris, who I don’t think I’ve ever seen before, stole her away and took her to a rooftop.
WHO ARE YOU CHRIS?
Chris got the rose which means he got some extra time with Des with a private concert.
They danced, and Brandon was a bit of a creeper again looking over the brick wall to catch a glimpse of them.
Next up…..
Harrison calls Des with what just might be THE MOST DRAMATIC PHONE CALL EVER.
Brace yourselves.
Somebody has a girlfriend.
dun. dun. dun.
SHOCKER.
This is now part of The Bachelor/Bachelorette formula, so let’s not even act surprised mmm’kay?
Every season SOMEBODY has a girlfriend or boyfriend back home.
This season it is Brian.
And lucky us, this time the girlfriend back home seems as if she is involved in community theater and currently auditioning for some play where she is a woman scorned.
She wanted us to know that she meant business by wearing leather pants.
Not really a fan of the pants or her theatrics.
I do like her sensible blazer.
#asensibleblazerisalwaysagoodfashionchoice
#youknowiloveagoodblazer
The two went back and forth..and back and forth…and back and forth about if they were actually an item, if they were together the day before he left….if he had ever told her where he was going to be on The Bachelorette.
Well, it finally came out at the end that he had told her he was going on a business trip.
Ouch.
And apparently, although seconds earlier he had claimed they weren’t together, they had in fact done the big wiggle (what my Young Life leader in high school called it! ha!) the night before.
Double Ouch.
And you guys, twitter was blowing up with “WE WERE ON A BREAK”!
LOVE a good friend’s reference. 🙂
All of the guys were acting upset, but you know they were secretly high-fiving each other for sure.
All but Brandon that is.
Poor Brandon really does seem to have some deeply rooted pain.
I feel sorry for the guy.
Kasey (aka HASHTAG) gets the next 1:1 date.
They dance off the side of a building, except they don’t so much dance as they do just hang there and wish they could be anywhere else.
They moved the date to dinner on the roof.
And that’s when Mother Nature decided to shut her down.
Then they decided to go for a swim.
Too cold.
Too windy.
Not enough towels can be piled on your head to encourage an appropriate body temperature (although they did give this idea a whirl).
Hashtag got a rose.
#ireallymisshisverbalhashtags
The next group date was sponsored by The Lone Ranger (a new movie coming out) and stunt guys from the movie were going to teach the guys how to “quick draw a pistol”.
The jokes pretty much write themselves.
The date also appears to be sponsored by Hanes (see below pic).
And if you thought thought they were cute in their t-shirts, check them out in their western duds.
#yeehaw
#ride’emcowboy
#giddyup
I thought the guys were all really funny during their spotlight scenes with Des, and they all seemed very likeable. It also seemed like they were having fun with each other., which I enjoyed.
I tell you what else I enjoyed.
The internal feelings of “I Told You So” that were bubbling up within me.
LADIES!
When I’m right, I’m right.
HIGH FIVE FOR THE COWBOY HAT AND HAT HEAD!
Before the cowboy hat……………………..During the cowboy hat……………………After the cowboy hat
I mean, you guys!
THAT IS A STUNNING TRANSFORMATION!
I’m not sure if it was hat head and just a happy mistake, or if
somebody got ahold of Bryden and gently recommended he comb his hair to
the side and for the love of all that is good and right with the world apply some product.
I don’t care how it happened, I just want to be thankful that it happened.
Shame on Chris Harrison for not pulling him aside sooner and just explaining
the merits of a side part to him.
Let’s also take a minute to look at the cutest little buckaroo that you ever did see.
Are you kidding me with the cuteness?
Shirtless Zac looks like he is straight off of Little House On The Prarie.
And you know I love me some Little House On The Prarie.
Sidenote – when Little House was cancelled, I cried for so many days that my mom called the network seeing if there was anything she could to get the show back on the air..
True story.
She’s also the mom that called the President of OU when I was a freshman there saying that school should be cancelled because it was too cold to be walking across campus.
Again, true story.
Love you mom!
Rico Suave (I mean Juan Pablo) scored some alone time with Des, and to everybody’s surprise (and when I say everybody, I mean NOBODY) they had some chemistry!
They watched a movie, ate popcorn, and then picked the popcorn kernels out of each other’s teeth with their tongues.
Chris came in with some big news: The cocktail party was cancelled, and a pool party scheduled.
And Ben decided that this would be the perfect time to woo her with his awesome tank top.
Oh, Ben – Jane Fonda called.
#shewantsherleotardback
Ben actually whisked her off in the Bentley before she could walk into the pool party.
When they arrived back at the mansion he did this creepy “shhhhhh” thing (see above)….
And then, as if they were placed there by producers (DUH!), beefcake boy and the attorney are at the gate and just “happen” to see Tank Top return with Des.
The boys are not happy and plan to let Ben know about it.
Brandon has a seriously awkward encounter with Des, and yet he is 100% for sure that he is on steady ground with Des (which if you have ever watched the Bachelor, you know he is 100% going to need to go ahead and pack his bags).
Time for the rose ceremony.
So who was sent on their way this week?
Brian was of course let go after THE MOST DRAMATIC PHONE CALL EVER.
And then Brandon and Dan were ousted.
And by the look on his face, nobody was more surprised than Brandon when he was sent home.
#poorBrandon
#iwanttorockhimlikeababyandtellhimeverythingwillbeokay
#butwheni’mrockinghimlikeababyialsokindawanttotellhimtoshutup
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So, in closing, I thought I would highlight some t-shirts today for the ladies.
Did you hear that Bachelorette boys? FOR THE LADIES!
But remember guys. these are for the LADIES! 🙂
If you missed my post on Tuesday, you need to make sure you click HERE to see all of the dress and denim jacket goodness that I had going on. LOTS of the dresses are now on sale as well as my favorite new necklace!
Come back tomorrow for some of my current obsessions!
Bye for now! 🙂
p.s. Don’t forget to enter the contest for the $50 credit to Sugar Love Boutique HERE!
p.p.s. Don’t forget to enter the contest for A Little Salty To Cut The Sweet HERE!
Mix and Match Mama says
The entire post was hysterical…but your mom calling Little House on the Prairie was my favorite part. I laughed out loud!
Jenny M says
Sheaffer, how many more times could we listen to Brandon tell his wounded childhood story? He'd overplayed what was, sadly, his only card this season. I was glad to see him go (but had hoped she'd give him his mom's chip back on the way out). A good recap for sure!
Megan Andrews says
Bahahaha! Oh, Sheaffer, #yourhonorhowdoyoutakethisguyseriouslywiththishairthatgetstallerandmorefullofbodywitheachepisode
Best.hashtag.ever!
Marcy Gloeckler says
Loved the Little House on the Prairie comment! My sisters and I loved that show so much. I have considered buying the DVD set but it is crazy expensive. Haha
Tara G. says
Yep, you need a prize for enduring this season. Nothing worse than bad acting than bad reality tv.
Danielle @ Clean Food Creative Fitness says
You have the best recaps ever! Makes watching the show worth it just so I can read the recap!
Kimberly says
Fun Fact: Michael Kors watches are made by Fossil. 🙂
Love your recap as usual. I too am struggling with this season I've fallen asleep twice, not a good sign! But i'm hanging in there hoping it gets better!!
Anonymous says
Love your recaps! I watch just so I understand them!! And….. Ordered 2 dresses from loft last night. Could not pass up 39.99 dresses! I hope I like them on! Thanks for the posts…..
Jan Fisher
jan.fisher@comcast.net
Rachel says
Sheaffer,
I really liked Bryden's transformation after the cowboy hat as well!
Ben's tank top is pretty bad! Ryan wore the same one in white on Emily's season, so I blame whoever creates their wardrobes. Same for the neon pink and green shorts at the pool party. I'm glad Chris, the former Chicago Cub is now in the running!
you'll have to read:
Stephen's week 3 recap !!! 🙂
aprilparrish says
I can't stop laughing Sheaffer!!!
Bryden's minor hair transformation made all the difference in the world for him!!! Lets hope he keeps it that way! Poor Ben just can't catch a break. I'm pretty sure he's a bad boy, but I give him props for making special effort to spend time with Des. The other men can't stand it or him. I totally agree about Mikey and his hair- he's got great hair just too much and Brooks has waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay tooooooooooo much hair. Hate that he broke his finger. 🙁 when he came back to the party and him and Des made out- it just grossed me out. He had been sweaty playing dodge ball then in the emergency room for several hours where he passed out and then back to the party to swop spit with Des- GROSS!!! I just cringed watching them!
Love your MK watch, I really want one!!! Also loved all your options with the dresses and your denim jacket!
Have a great day! 🙂
Kris says
"Little House on the Prairie"….LOL!!!
Fossil watch is super cute (and much lighter than MK, which I am struggling a wee bit with the links on–feels like I'm too loose or a tad too snug when I add/remove links, but I digress!). One of my girlfriend's has the Fossil and adores it! She did tell me that it's probably not a "wear it multiple years kind of watch" because the strap scuffs and definitely will stain/discolor if it's you wear it every day.
Sue says
ha,ha,ha, picking the popcorn kernels out of their teeth with their tongues. Gross but hysterical!
Jaylyn Bond says
Hahahah. Your recaps are the BEST! Ok can I just say that when Bryden was first introduced I was like holy heck inlove, but his hair needed a good little comb. When it was fixed on Monday night I was thrilled! Send him to Canada!!! Lol. Oh and your MK watch is fabulous!!!
Aubs says
Hilarious. All of it!! And spot on!! And I think I love your mom as much I love you after this post!!! ha! =)
Laura says
You are definitely not the only person struggling with this season. Every week it becomes more and more like background noise while I play on my iPad. Ali's season was the best to me by far.
Now I have to ask – don't you get really hot wearing a denim coat in during the summer? I recently bought the J. Crew Factory version and every time I put it on over a dress I end up taking it off five minutes later unless it's at night time or I'm inside and the air conditioning is on. Is the Nordstrom jacket really *that* much lighter? It's such a cute look but for me, it will probably have to wait until September 🙂
Sheaffer says
Hi Laura! The only time I wouldn't throw my jacket on is if I was going to be in and out of the car doing lots of errands. Otherwise, I'm totally fine to wear it during the summer (the mall, dinner, the movies, etc.). And I will totally be wearing it all fall too over longer layers!
jen says
Yours is the BEST and FUNNIEST blog I've read. I love, love, love it. Even when you're struggling…you've got it! This was so funny and fun to read! 🙂
4sweetboys1princess says
You are so funny, I look forward to your recaps because they are making the show enjoyable this season 🙂
Mary says
Love these recaps! I must say Bryden is looking good with the hair redo! Poor Brandon…I'm real sad for him. There is no way that was ever gonna work out!
Mary says
Love these recaps! I must say Bryden is looking good with the hair redo. I am really sad for Brandon…that was never gone work out though. Thanks again for sharing!
Krista says
Thank you oh so much for enduring this season to provide us with awesomely hysterical recaps. You're the best, Sheaffer!
MrsDevilGuy says
Brandon needs some serious therapy! Seems like a real sweet guy but he is holding on tight to his past and not letting it go.
Sabrina says
LOVE this post–hysterical!!!!! I love your use of hilarious hashtags throughout your recap—and I do love how your Mom called to get Little House on the Prairie back on TV!! Classic!!!
I'm shocked you didn't mention Des' NUDE PANTS!!! #ohnoshedidn't #ohyesshedid #pinteresttoldherNO #shesaidyes #sheneedsanintervention
Elaine~ Honey Pie Accessories says
I'm so glad i'm not the only one who thought her parents were horrid! #wassheevenwearingpants
Jenna {Real Simple Girl} says
You're doing a great job with your recaps! I have to agree that it's gotta be so tough this season!! Your recaps are actually more entertaining than the show itself, though!
So, your mom sounds awesome!! I love that she called Little House on the Prairie AND your college!! So great!!
walshpartyofthree says
I'm struggling too this season, but reading your recaps makes me excited about next week!! Love your humor!!
Another ABCD Mommy says
Haha I'm also curious as to what Michael G. would be like in Court! "Objection Your Honor, this is an egg I can't unscramble"… "Motion denied"…
Anonymous says
You. are. hilarious. I really must be the dumbest person because I can't figure out how to subscribe to your blogs and receive them in my email! Please help me so I don't miss any of your wisdom! Jen (jenw@grandecom.net)
Andrea says
I was so happy with Bryden's new hair! So much better!!!
Anonymous says
I love your mom.
This season is brutally boring. You are most certainly taking one for the team!
I got my jacket yesterday and wore it last night to small group. #iloveeverythingyoutellmeabout
-Jenny
katie elizabeth says
oh my gosh… I am dying over this Bachelorette recap! You are hysterical… This season is killing me too and I have been watching since the very beginning (I mean it – never missed a season… that's either really embarrassing orrrrr haha maybe just embarrassing!) Either way your re-caps absolutely kill me! I am still laughing about the Jane Fonda tank top – thank you for that 🙂
and thanks for taking one for the team – I needed this today 🙂
Katie
mel @ the larson lingo says
"The Big Wiggle" I am CRYING, I am laughing so hard….that is hysterical. Thank you for the laugh. And, I am totally using that phrase now!!!!
Tiffany {A Touch of Grace} says
Yes! Love that your mom called the Little House on the Prarie network! #mademyday! 🙂
Linda says
After Sean's season, I vowed never to watch The Bachelor or ette again! Of course I haven't been able to resist some sneak peaks, but that is all it took for me to realize Des is no Sean! The way she says, "So-and-so, will you accept this rose?" is enough to do me in. It sounds canned and totally insincere! I love your recaps so much, however, that I am going to have to "take one for the team" myself and keep watching, just so I get the hilarious comments you make! Love you and Shay. Signed, Linda, proud owner of a Michael Kors ceramic watch, thanks to you (and my granddaughters!)
Jennifer says
First time to comment – – I'm enjoying your blog so much! I'm able to suffer through the Bachelorette thanks to your recaps . . . I have to admit, when Bryden showed up with a side part (SO MUCH BETTER!), I thought of you! : )
Karyn says
I love reading your blog! I work with speech teachers being a special educator myself and your wittiness cracks me up! I just wanted to let u know that I found a knock off on very Jane today that I think u might like. I don't know how u feel about knock offs, but I thought I would give it a try. You have ranted and raved about your beautiful bangle bracelets from nordstoms..well here is another version…for 9 dollars. They are the popular ikat print! Go to veryjane.com their listings don't last long! I do not work for them, just noticed u like them and thought I would mention it!
kristinwithani says
This season is killing me too. I'm watching because I really like Des but this group of guys? Blech, ABC. I do like Bryden.
So much hair product!
Too many v-necks and tank tops!
Where are the preppy guys?
I digress. Your updates are enough to keep me watching. That's really backwards logic….
Megan says
I knew I could count on you to come through with some snarky comments about Ben's tank top! I'm pretty sure I had one just like it when I was 12.
smk053078 says
You know I don't watch this crazy show, and the pictures you posted reminded me why!! LOL!! And I hate you for telling me about this sale….I am trying NOT to shop!!! UGH!!! Kidding, I don't hate you!
Jen {Whimsy at Heart} says
Oh my, I'm so glad you are "taking one for the team" this season! Your recaps are the main reason I'm still watching. I'm not sure if I can hang on for another season after this. 😉
Sarah says
I already loved your blog, but now that I know you're a fellow Sooner, I love it even more! Ha! Boomer Sooner!
{Hi Sugarplum!} says
Great recap!!! I'm totally going against my norm, and watching the show now…and the whole time, I'm thinking, 'wonder if sheaffer just noticed that and is laughing too?!'
Ben is so creepy, what to represent big d #tool
And I just started reading a little house book to sloan at night. Can I just tell you how long those chapters are?! don't they realize it needs to be like 4 pages and done…ain't nobody got time for a 24 page chapter every night! 😉
Michelle Harmon says
Please keep posting these recaps!!! It's my favorite thing. You are FUNNNY!
Caravan Sonnet says
ok… I just have to say that while I have honestly stopped watching this season I STILL laugh out LOUD with your recaps… ABC should hire you for this season because your recaps actually make me want to start watching again! 🙂 Seriously: "they are playing for the marbles…"… still giggling… HILARIOUS!! and your young life reference… HILARIOUS…
🙂 Thank you so much for the laughter girl!!
🙂 Rebecca