If you missed my recap from Monday night’s episode, click HERE. You need a solid foundation for all of the crazy before you read Tuesday night’s recap.
Before we get started, I would like to congratulate us all on making it this far.
It’s been a long hard season, y’all!
But don’t get too comfy yet, ladies.
BECAUSE TUESDAY NIGHT WAS A DOOZY.
More specifically, BARB WAS A DOOZY.
Actually, she was a full on whack-a-doodle. (Let’s just all agree that “whack-a-doodle” is code word for a not so nice word that I want to say, but I will refrain from saying.)
But she wasn’t just a whack-a-doodle. She was a mean spirited, controlling, and disrespectful whack-a-doodle. Which is the worst kind of whack-a-doodle.
But I’m telling you, all was not lost, because Tuesday night while watching I felt like I was attending a MASTER CLASS ON HOW TO NOT ACT WHEN I’M A MOTHER-IN-LAW.
I seriously filed some stuff away.
And I even texted my own mother-in-law to basically thank her for being lovely the entire 27 years I’ve known her. #shoutoutdiane
Poor Peter’s brother.
And while we’re at it, poor Peter’s dad.
And even though Barb was terrible on Monday night, she was in RARE FORM on Tuesday night. Even the first time the camera cut to her in the audience she looked sooooooooo pi$$ed. But at that time I thought she was maybe just mad about her hair and her blush.
Okay, that was mean. But for real. I have some feelings I need to work out for this woman, so just bare with me.
THE FINAL ROSE
So with Madi gone, Peter decided to “choose” Hannah Ann because he was “100% certain. And he’s going to choose her every day.” He even picked out a ring (A HUGE AND GORGEOUS RING) from Uncle Neil and called Hannah’s dad to ask for her hand in marriage. Dad said yes, and Peter actually looked really excited.
BUT I WASN’T BUYING IT.
I think it was like 18-24 hours ago that he was absolutely broken because Madi left.
Even Hannah Ann had doubts, as evidenced by this scene. She was all dressed, but she needed a moment.
Harrison showed up to the rose ceremony site and said “I just found out something about Hannah Ann (insert lonnnnnng dramatic pause)……. I’m not sure if she’s coming.”
OHHHHHHH. EMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. GEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Peter almost passed out.
Heck! I almost passed out!
But instead, he took to the bed. Good heavens, everybody was taking to the bed.
But don’t y’all worry, Harrison walked in a little bit later and was like PSYCH! She’s coming. (I really do have to wonder if that was just a production thing or if Hannah Ann was really considering not going.)
So, Peter headed back to the rose ceremony site.
And Hannah Ann did in fact show up.
Peter greeted her, took her hand, and immediately started crying. But not Barb tears, the man was crying real tears. And I kind of started to believe that maybe he did love Hannah Ann. He started his proposal speech through those tears, and it sounded genuine.
THEN HE SAID MADISON’S NAME.
I almost puked out of sheer awkward terror. It’s a thing.
For a split second I thought we were having a Ross and Rachel moment because he said, “Madison…….” AND I WAS LIKE NO HE DIH UNT. HER NAME IS HANNAH ANN!
But he was just starting a sentence. He said “Madison ……………………………………………………………………………………….. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..(the pause literally felt like it was 7 hours long) left 2 days ago.” And then he proceeded to tell Hannah Ann he loved her over and over again, and that he would choose her over and over again.
And I was like.
I mean, YES. Madi did in fact leave.
But it seemed a little weird that he presented the whole Madison left 2 days ago thing as if she left because he wanted her to. Because that’s not how it happened, Bud.
I mean, they looked super happy (adorable, actually), but I was questioning it all FO SHO.
I was also questioning how in the world they were placed on the top of this rock. It looked pretty precarious. Perhaps a metaphor for their relationship.
PETER WENT BACK HOME TO TELL THE FAMILY
Peter went home to tell his family how his journey had ended. When he walked through the door, Barb went nuts again. Like Peter walked through the door and she went full on psychotic. She made weird sounds, her hands shook, and she went on and on about how she missed his smiles, she missed his hellos, blah blah blah…..
Just fyi, when my son comes home from college in 8 years, I’m going to try my very best to PLAY IT COOL. I’m gonna give him a side hug and be like, “Hey. How’s college treating you?” I mean, inside I’m going to be shaking and internally screaming that I missed his smiles and his hellos, BUT ON THE OUTSIDE I’m going to be cool as a cucumber. Because #DONTBEABARB.
She burst into “tears”, but again there was not any evidence of actual tears. Her eyes weren’t even damp.
The lady is CRAZY.
And a big ol’ faker.
Peter sat down and set out to reveal to his family who he had chosen. Barb grabbed her husbands and her son’s hands, and she looked like she was going to stroke out.
When he finally said he had chosen Hannah Ann, Barb LOST IT. I mean, she fake lost it, but she did in fact lose it. GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF, BARB. Your embarrassing yourself.
And then she started “wailing” again. Which for her, is really just making a lot of noise while shaking her bands back and forth. There were NO TEARS, but don’t you worry, she wiped away those imaginary tears like it was her job.
HANNAH ANN VISITS PETER IN LA
I guess she has some sort of brand ambassadorship with 5-7-9, because she walked in the place wearing a fuzzy crop top and some jeans that zipped up the back. That’s some signature 5-7-9 stuff right there.
They sat down on the couch and things were immediately awkward.
She was still wearing her ring, but something had obviously gone down between the two of them. They immediately mentioned how they hadn’t seen each other in a month, which was strange, because the couples generally meet up for a secret rendezvous or two.
Peter was hard core struggling and visibly torn up. He was crying REAL TEARS. He thanked her for being so strong and supportive, but all of the subtext said that he was still struggling with the fact that he still loved Madi.
He said “I’ve told you everything, and even when I didn’t deserve it, you stood by me.” He said he wanted so badly to give her everything….BUT he couldn’t do that.
I of course felt sorry for Hannah Ann.
But I also felt sorry for Peter. And it’s not like I’ve been a huge Peter fan all season long, but Barb did a real number on him. Also, I would like to talk a minute about Peter’s jeans here. Hannah was so upset that she got up from the couch and left the room, but when he went after her I had to wonder, were his jeans tight rolled? I mean, I know all of us that were kids in the 80s were masters of the tight roll, but I don’t think that’s a trend that should ever come back.
Hannah Ann was so sad, and she didn’t hold back. She said “You took my first engagement away from me, because I trusted you. Why didn’t you just let me go? Why did you take my first engagement away from me?”
We get it Hannah Ann.
It’s terrible, and Peter definitely should have just let you go and never proposed.
But here’s the deal.
He seems as if he’s genuinely sorry, and what’s done is done. Even though he should have done it before, at least y’all are cutting your ties now. You don’t want to get married to a man who isn’t fully in love with you, and it’s obvious that he isn’t fully in love with you. You deserve more.
Hannah Ann looked at him and said, “We’re done. I mean it.”
And in her little box on the bottom left hand side of the t.v., Barb started clapping and cheering Hannah Ann on. Real nice, Barb. #dontbeaBarb
Hannah Ann went on to say that she felt betrayed and she had no idea what she was saying YES to when she accepted his proposal. And she was right. It was a fair complaint because the whole “Madi left 2 days ago” declaration was most definitely a half truth.
Although, I actually thought that Peter explained himself very well why he did what he did in the moment. Yes, he was sad about Madi, but he also had loving feelings towards Hannah Ann, and he thought those would grow. I guess he was mistaken.
HANNAH ANN AND PETER ON STAGE
First of all, Hannah Ann didn’t come to play. Her spray tan, her extensions, her perfectly perky (but not overwhelming) boobs, and her red dress cut down to there all meant business. The girl looked GORGEOUS.
She immediately started in with him and said she was blindsided during the proposal (because he wasn’t honest about why Madi left) and again at the L.A. house when he told her for the first time how he couldn’t give her his full heart. Apparently he’d been saying all the right things to keep her around and hanging on (even though they hadn’t seen each other in a month). She felt it was unfair, and I’m sure she was right. She said, “You either don’t mean what you say, or you don’t understand the impact of your words, so which one is it?”
AND AGAIN, THERE WAS BARB RIGHT ON CUE WITH AN AGGRESSIVE HEAD NOD AND APPLAUSE.
That woman really rubs me the wrong way.
In closing, Hannah Ann said “looking back on it, our engagement involved three women. Me, you still being in love with Madison and proposing to me, and you needing closure with Hannah Brown.”
I MEAN. She just threw Hannah Brown into the mix, and I was not expecting that.
But Hannah Ann, you are wrong about something…there were 4 women in your relationship.
BECAUSE LET’S NOT FORGET THE BIG OL’ WHACK-A-DOODLE OF A FUTURE MOTHER IN LAW. Because she might like you now, but the first time you suggested Thanksgiving with your family instead of hers, SHE WOULD HAVE TURNED ON YOU IN A HEARTBEAT.
Hannah Ann’s final words….”If you want to be with a woman, you need to become a real man.”
And there was Barb, right on cue with the nods and the claps. #dontbeaBarb
HARRISON WENT TO AUBURN
So here’s what went down. When Peter and Hannah Ann called it quits, Harrison took it upon himself to head to Auburn to have a little sit down with Madi.
Madi: So what happened after I left?
Harrison: He got engaged.
She looked completely torn up, and Harrison shared that Peter didn’t now he was there, but that the engagement had ended.
Madi: “Is he okay?”
HOW SWEET IS THAT?
Harrison: “Are you in love with Peter?”
Madi: “I mean, like I know that I fell in love with him and those feelings have not gone away, but I don’t know where his head is at and what’s going on in his mind right now. It’s just confusing.”
Harrison: “He ended his engagement because of his feelings for you. I think in his dream that he would be with you.”
Her lashes continued to confuse me, but Madi was still adorable and she admitted to Chris that she regretted leaving.
And don’t you worry, Barb was in the corner. Look at her face! She rolled her eyes no less that 27 times. It was disgraceful. #dontbeaBarb
Madi: “If I had a second chance, I’d take it in a heartbeat.”
Harrison: “This is your second chance, so what are you going to do?”
Madi: “I guess we’re going to L.A.!”
Me: SUCK IT, BARB!!!!
So they went to L.A.
Peter was standing in a backyard somewhere, and we learned that he was expecting Chris Harrison, but he got Madi. He was genuinely surprised. AND THRILLED.
THIS is what love stories are made of Barb!
A man that is in love with a woman that he’s willing to do hard things for to possibly be with her (like break up with his current fiance). A man that is willing to better himself not just to deserve her love, but because he wants to be better too.
They stood forehead to forehead, OBVIOUSLY. And daggers shot out of Barb’s eyes. #dontbeaBarb
Peter said, “I’ve made a million and 1 mistakes..but I fell in love with you. And I know I messed up, and I messed up, and I messed up. And I’m so sorry for that. But I haven’t fallen out of love with you.”
Madi: “I know we can’t change the past.”
Peter: “So what do we do?”
Cut to commercial break.
BACK TO THE STUDIO AUDIENCE
Peter then told the audience that he hadn’t seen Madison since that day.
I had many questions. HOW LONG ago was that day? WHY hadn’t they seen each other? And perhaps the most important question, WHY hadn’t he placed Barb in the corner and told her to shut her mouth?
Harrison asked Peter if he loved her, and Peter said “Yeah”. I would have preferred a more rousing declaration of love, but okay.
As you can imagine, Barb was a stone cold B.
Madi came out on the stage looking STUNNING and her mascara was ON POINT.
Madi said, “I love Peter and that hasn’t changed since that day in Australia.”
They talked about how it is all a lot to process, and that although they’ve talked since, they haven’t seen each other. But then Harrison said WHAT HAPPENS NOW?
Neither one of them gave a real straight forward answer, but it seems that the gist is that they are going to take things slow and see what happens.
What happened next made me want to go hide under the kitchen table.
Harrison asked Barb how she felt about everything, and the woman unloaded.
Barb talked about how Hannah Ann organically embraced her with love and they just loved her so much. But the next day when they met Madison “she had us wait for 3 hours for her to come in to meet us.” I identified with this lady and her side eye on a deep level.
Barb, I’ve had to watch 4 hours of The Bachelor this week WITH YOUR FACE fake crying several times and making all sorts of hateful grimaces and strange sounds. You were FINE waiting for 3 hours.
She went on to say how Madi didn’t apologize that they were late, and when she asked her if she was madly in love with her son that she said “no” and that she would not accept a proposal in 4 days. She the shared how the family clicked with Hannah Ann and how the unfortunately did not click with Madison.
Madi was such a class act. I’m going to share what she said word for word, only because I thought she handled herself so beautifully.
Madi said, “At the end of the day, it is what it is. You can’t change the past, and there was a lot that out of my control. I came into this journey and I said I was going to be unashamed of who I am and undeniably myself, and that is something I’ve done throughout this entire journey.”
She went on to say, “I’m not a mom, so I don’t know what it’s like to have a son and to have kids. I know I have love and respect for Peter, therefore I have love and respect for Peter’s family….so I will never say a negative word about anyone or anything.”
SHE WAS A TRUE CLASS ACT.
It is my hope and prayer that one day Carter will bring home a girl as strong in her faith and convictions as Madi is.
And even after her respectful words, Barb had the nerve to lean over to her husband and say “She didn’t even answer the question.”
Harrison then asked Peter how he felt about it all, and Peter gave his family a pass. My opinion is that he was too kind to them and didn’t stick up enough for Madi. He said it all came from a place of love, which I understand to a point, but he really needed to defend Madi’s honor in that moment!
But then he looked straight at his parents and said, “I know how she feels for me, and I know how I feel for her. And I just ask that you guys that you can just give her that chance and trust me.”
Harrison gave Barb another chance to open her mouth.
Which was a mistake.
She said “We want the best for him. And I have to tell you, the girls were completely two different people that one was willing to compromise and the other has not. And to me, you need both to compromise….And Hannah Ann was the only one that had given her heart to Peter.”
Madi spoke up at that point and respectfully shared her thoughts. She politely said, “I disagree! I think this isn’t just Peter’s journey. When you sign up to come on a show like this, you’re looking for love too. This wasn’t just Peter looking for his wife, I totally understand as a mother you are obviously going to be thinking of Peter, but this is my journey too. This isn’t just Peter choosing me, this is me choosing Peter.”
WELL SAID, MADI! Her parents must be so proud. HECK, I’M PROUD!!!!
Harrison kept on what I can only image was trying to give Barb a chance to make nice, and he asked her “How do we turn the page?”
Barb said, “He’s going to have to fail to succeed. That’s it. All his friends and all his family….everybody that knows him knows it’s not going to work.”
Where are the Fletcher brothers when you need them.
Peter said, “I’m telling you that I love Madison, and that should be enough. Listen to me. Listen, please.”
Harrison then said, “Dad what’s your take on this?”
And that’s when the whack-a-doodle (remember that’s code) turned to her husband and said something in Spanish to him under her breath.
She said “Say something bad too, help me.”
ARE YOU KIDDING ME, BARB?
IS THIS WOMAN FOR REAL?
I certainly hope that today she’s embarrassed of her behavior and that she’s taking a moment to reflect on how she could have handled herself better.
Dad said, “I hate this situation, and it’s telling to me that there’s so many obstacles in his way to even get to this point.”
And that was that.
Let me say this. If this doesn’t work out with Madi, a huge GOOD LUCK to Peter because I can’t imagine that anybody would willingly sign up for whack-a-doodle BARB. SERIOUSLY. Can you EVEN IMAGINE her being a grandmother to your babies?
So, that’s that.
Y’all, I have more that I could say about Barb, but I’m going to refrain.
But let’s all agree that #dontbeaBarb should start trending.