but first things first.
TOMORROW IS THE DAY!
The Nordstrom Anniversary Sale will be live for everybody tomorrow!
So, do what you have to do to prepare. 🙂
And really, you don’t have to do anything to prepare (except maybe work an extra shift at the mine for some extra money to spend).
I’ve really done all the work for you.
I perused all 3,000 items online, and I tried on my favs.
And tomorrow I will start highlighting the BEST OF THE BEST.
You’re welcome. 😉
Just show up at the blog Friday morning, and get ready to see all of the amazing deals to be had!
And you might need to psych yourself up for the fact that I’m going to be showing you some boots that will make you want to slap your mamma.
Yep. They’re that good.
You don’t get to see the boots today,
but I am going to give you one sneak peak of my shopping excursion.
If you follow me on instagram, then you’ve already seen it.
HOW CUTE IS THIS COAT?!?
I know it feels weird to buy a coat in July…..but it makes TOTAL SENSE when it is at such a reduced price! If you don’t buy it now, you’ll be sorry next month when it is $60 more!
I adore the red, but it comes in black too.
Check back on Friday for the direct link.
If you are a cardholder and want to go ahead and get it, click HERE and type in the Item #685199.
On to the show….
We’ve finally made it to hometown dates, which means the end is in sight!
We can do this!
Somehow, there was still very little drama and/or excitement this week….
so I am basically pinning all my hopes and dreams on The Men Tell All episode next week.
MAMA WANTS SOME MAN TEARS AND SOME FINGER POINTING!
Federal Prosecutor Michael (who makes me want to bang my head against the wall) and Meathead James (who wants to be the King of Chicago and go on boats with tall and rich women) will most certainly HAVE WORDS.
And I’m guessing we’ll get to hear the whole “I overheard James say” story for the 437th time.
I will continue to hope against hope that they might even have a Gorga/Jiudice moment and actually resort to throwing literal and not just figurative punches.
So….now it’s time get ready for hometown dates.
They basically all look exactly the same.
Boy gets out of car.
Des jumps on boy.
(Here are where the only differences come in.
Insert snow cone truck….a sweet sister….a chiropractic adjustment….or a near tip over in a canoe.)
Des meets family.
Family loves Des.
Des loves family.
Des and boy go outside.
They all confess their undying love and devotion to Des (except for Brooks).
Second verse, same as the first.
Des visits Zak in Dallas.
I will say this,
I. LOVE. A. GOOD. SNOWCONE.
I’ve never had a Kona snow cone, so I can’t speak to it specifically……
but If I were Des, Zak would have just moved to the front of the pack.
I would have given him the final rose right then and there.
I would take Zak and his snow cone truck for better and for worse WITHOUT HESITATION.
Actually, what I love is referred to as flavored ice.
It’s just a fancy snow cone.
The ice is smooth…..NOT CRUNCHY…and this is of extreme importance.
(If there are any Lake Highlands people reading out there, can I please get a virtual high five for Ice Delight? I still crave it. Like 20 years later. Too bad it’s been closed for about 15 years.)
Oh….and is it weird that I had a good laugh about the idea of a shirtless Zak serving
snow cones to the kids?
Totally thinking about starting a petition for Zak’s sister to be the next Bachelorette.
I mean, SERIOUSLY. How cute is she?!?
The whole family sits down to dinner, and his mom is less than impressed (although not surprised) that Zak said he had pretty much been naked on several different occasions.
They really do seem like a super fun family.
I want to sit down with them, break bread, and make snow cones.
And on special occasions, I would like to throw a little vodka in the snow cones.
Or maybe rum.
Think about it.
And then this happened.
Here’s a tip.
If you’re not Adam Levine….or Michael Buble…..or The Partridge Family….Or The Brady Bunch…. you probably shouldn’t serenade your girl on National T.V.
It’s just a general rule of thumb.
AND THEN…..with no warning…Zak pops out a box, gives Des a diamond promise ring (WHY ZAK? WHY?), and then declares his love for her.
I am loving Zak, but Des doesn’t seem to be drinking the kool-aid.
Or the snow cone.
Man, these two would have some pretty babies.
I loved Des’s outfit, and thought I would recreate it for you guys in case you loved it too!
Drew took a lot of time to explain to Des his sister’s mannerisms and how she might act.
Sweet Melissa is severely disabled and she has a lot of trouble regulating her emotions. She was obviously soooo happy to be seeing her brother, and she is definitely a fan of the hand holding.
I’ve got mad respect for families of special needs children and adults.
He then asked her if she had ever met an angel, she said she had not.
He then corrected her and said she had met an angel in Melissa.
After totally making out with her face.
Has Toy Story Ken found his Barbie?
I have to say I’m wondering WHAT IN THE SAM HILL could go wrong with Drew and Des’s relationship that would have Drew declaring “this will never work” as we have seen in previews.
KEN! WHAT HAPPENS?
Click HERE for the baseball ts. They are super affordable.
It went something like this:
Hi. Nice to meet you.
Now go lay hiney up on my table so I can crack your back.
You know, just the normal pleasantries.
Listen, it might not rhyme.
But truer words have never been spoken.
But not just any old adjustment.
IT’S A NASAL ADJUSTMENT.
I don’t understand.
This is what I know:
the good doctor stuck something up Chris’s nostrils with the help of what looked like a safety pin
after said apparatus was up the nostril, he used a little balloon type thing to expand the nostril
he then somehow cracked and adjusted said nostril
you could actually hear the crack
i saw boogers in chris’s nose
my gag reflex might have kicked up a bit
(sidenote: i handle poop and vomit better than boogers)
chris then blew out remaining boogers into a kleenex
I really had no idea what had just happened.
So, I googled “nose adjustment”.
And I found out the technical term is actually Balloon Sinuplasty.
THANK YOU, BUT NO THANK YOU.
When Des and Brooks walked into the house to meet the family, it was clear to me that the Brawny man had borrowed Mr. Rogers’ sweater.
I did think it was a nice touch how all 347 of his family members were wearing name tags. (I’m horrible with names, and if I were Des….I would have to insist they do that for a good 2 years or so before I would be expected to actually remember their names.)
YES! BRING ON THE CRAZY!
BRING ON THE DYSFUNCTION!
WE ARE READY AND WAITING!
Except that Des put her foot down and did not allow her brother to meet any of the guys.
Good for Des.
Bad for us.
Des is still clearly not amused by her brother.
In short, her brother STILL sucks and she knows it.
Des sits down with Chris,
and she again says that she loves Brooks!
What are those crazy producers at ABC doing to us?
Am I supposed to believe that she really is in love with Brooks?
OR am I supposed to assume that there is no way that the producers would leave that in if Brooks is actually the person she ends up with?
I’ve come to the conclusion that they must just be playing mind games with us.
She says that she thinks that the person that is going to go home is going to be completely shocked.
And I’m afraid it’s going to be Zak.
And I’m already sad for him.
For some reason, the creepy brother is lurking in the background.
And my bachelorette intuition was right.
Zak did not get a rose.
And he is genuinely surprised.
And now shirtless Zak has tears in his eyes.
And now I’m sad that Zak is leaving.
Maybe if he takes off his shirt he will feel better.
And if he doesn’t, I’m quite sure we all will.
When riding around in the limo, he rolls the window down and throws the DIAMOND ring out of the car. He needs to show a little more respect to the diamonds.
Fingers crossed an ABC intern was ordered to crawl around on his hands
and knees until he found the ring.
And speaking of ring…..I have 3 jewelry related deals for you!
SEQUIN BANGLES JUST WENT 40% OFF!
Now, they are going fast…but there are still plenty of colors and styles available right now (although I bet there won’t be by the end of the day.)
Click HERE for the bangles!
There are some great Kate Spade earrings that are now 33% off HERE.
I received an e-mail from a friend yesterday about BaubleBar’s special right now
that they are calling their “Monthly Makeover”!
You spend $44, but you get over $80 worth of stuff!
Click HERE to see what it’s all about.
My favorite necklace choices are definitely the coral and the green but you can choose!
Of, if you want to see their monogrammed choices, click HERE.
To see their SALE items, click HERE.
NOW, GET SOME REST LADIES!!!
THE ANNIVERSARY SALE STARTS TOMORROW!!!!!