Are you all caught up on Bachelor nonsense? Click HERE to see all of my previous Bachelor recaps from this season if you missed them or if you need a refresh..
On last week’s recap, Colton said that Hannah G. looked like a sushi roll and followed that with “I would definitely eat that sushi roll.”
And America was all…
I’ll tell you this, Colton’s little sushi roll was AGGRESSIVE. (I’ll have you know that I thought of THE FUNNIEST HASHTAG ever to put right here, but my parents read here soooooo……)
THIS WEEK’S EPISODE
We opened up this week’s episode with us all thinking that this was DEFINITELY going to be the week that he scaled the fence. In fact, if you were really quiet while watching, you could hear America chanting “SCALE THAT FENCE! SCALE THAT FENCE!” But, listen. I’m a firm believer in the “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” school of thought. And if the last 74 seasons of The Bachelor have taught me anything, it’s that the producers like to play mind games with us. So I wasn’t going to be holding my breath for a fence jump this week.
Please remember that last week the episode ended with Colton thinking that there was AT LEAST 1 girl remaining that wasn’t ready for commitment and shouldn’t be there. And man, it was messing with his head.
THE BACHELOR GOES TO DENVER
The group headed back to the U.S., specifically to Denver! Colton’s hometown!
Colton needed some bro time and some advice, so the producers set up a little meeting. The smart thing to do would have been to summon one of their successful Bachelors to come back, talk about his now wife (that he of course met on The Bachelor), and give some sage advice on how to weed through those who might not be there for the right reasons. But this is The Bachelor, y’all. So Ben Higgins was their instead!
PETER! We’ve missed you!!! And really, who better to give our confused Bachelor advice than a former bachelor that told his final 2 that he loved them.
Peter told him to just be honest with the girls about how he was scared. Solid advice, Peter. Did you learn that from Greg? Or is that a little bit of wisdom that Alice passed on to you?
BRING ON THE GIRLS!
It was time for Colton to meet the ladies! So all the girls headed to the park to meet Colton and his dog, Sniper. And Hannah B. got all dressed up in her park outfit. Complete with black bra and a sheer bodysuit. #thatsjanet #missjacksonifyourenasty
They all oohd and ahhd appropriately over Colton’s dog. Had one of them not ooh and ahhd appropriately, I would of loved to see him send a girl home RIGHT THEN AND THERE. Colton announced that the dates were going to start immediately, and then he told Tayshia that she was up first!
TAYSHIA’S 1:1
They had such a cute date together all over Denver. They walked around, ate oysters, drank some wine, grabbed ice cream, and pet the dog (that is not a euphemism).
Of utmost importance here is what went down at the ice cream parlor. Colton ordered Butter Pecan ice cream. Now, stop and think about how you just read the word “pecan” in your head. There are two types of people in this world. Those that say puh-con , and those that say pee-can. I’m firmly rooted in the puh-con camp. Colton is not. He said “PEEEEEE-CAN”. I’m sorry, but I peee-can’t.
And then they stopped for champagne and deep conversation.
He shared with her how he was definitely questioning some of the girls, but he was NOT questioning her. And then he asked for her opinion on who she thought might not be ready. She said she didn’t want to tattle tale, but in the next couple of seconds she tattled and taled.
She explained that she had heard conversations where both Cassie and Caelynn had talked about being the next Bachelorette, and they had also both said that they didn’t know if they could be engaged at the end of this.
HOLD THE PHONE, TAYSHIA. Did you actually HEAR them say these things? She was being a bit unclear.
I was experiencing confusion and doubt. I mean, I feel like if these conversations had actually happened and if the girls had actually been talking about being the next Bachelorette, production would most likely have recorded at least some of them. Yes?
Colton then said if he told somebody that he loved them and it wasn’t reciprocated, that would be THE GREATEST FEAR OF HIS LIFE. So…..you can add that to his fear list of heights and snakes. Seems he scares easily.
The boy was shook. When doing an interview in an alley, he bent over as if he was going to puke. I mean sure, it might have been emotional trauma making him nauseous. But it could have just as easily been the oysters, wine, ice cream, and champagne.
They headed back to Colton’s place to cook dinner together. (I mean, I think it was his place, but they made no mention of the fact that it was his.)
When they sat down to “eat” the dinner they had just prepared, Colton asked Tayshia how her family would receive him if she made it to hometowns. She was honest and said that her dad would probably have a hard time since she’s been married and divorced. He knows how hurt she was, and she said, “He’s pretty much a hard ass.” Colton took that information in stride. He said he wouldn’t be able to get down on 1 knee if he didn’t have the dad’s blessing.
She said that her dad would ask the tough questions, but she did think that after a bit he would be accepting of Colton. They retired to his bedroom for a bit and he called it “the place where magic doesn’t happen”. FINALLY! A FUNNY VIRGIN JOKE! #wellplayedColton
It was no surprise, but she got the rose. He said “Tonight I started falling in love with Tayshia.”
CAELYNN: COME MEET ME IN THE ROCKIES
When Caelynn got the next date card, tears sprang into the eyes of all the other girls. But sweet Cassie said, “I know you needed this, so I’m happy for you.”
I mean, at this point I refuse to believe that Cassie isn’t there for Colton and isn’t a genuinely sweet girl…but only time will tell. I’ve been fooled before. I’m looking at you 10 foot wall.
Caelynn met Colton on top of a snow covered mountain, but she didn’t really run and jump into his arms. It was more of a slow saunter and then he hoisted her up. I’m guessing it was the altitude that kept her from doing a proper run and jump.
They snowboarded together for all of about 23 seconds (and that’s being generous), and then Colton did what Colton does best.
He called Caelynn out and named names while doing it. He was all “Tayshia says you suck.” JK. He didn’t say that. But he did say that Tayshia had said that Caelynn was one of the ones that “might not be ready” and “had talked about being the bachelorette“.
Them’s fightin’ words, Tayshia.
Our resident beauty queen was ticked the freak off and convincingly said the stories were “completely fabricated“. She claimed Tayshia was lying. And she cussed. A lot. I’ll tell you this, her behavior was not becoming of a Miss North Carolina.
That night they headed to a cozy dinner. Colton told the cameras “I’m more confused than hurt” with tears streaming down his face. I just wanted to scoop him up, stroke his hair, sing him lullabies, and rock him to sleep while assuring him that everything was going to be okay. Is that weird?
Caelynn assured him that she was in fact there for the right reasons. And I was leaning towards believing her. She talked about being engaged and having kids, and she ended it with “I am falling in love with you.”
Even though I was still on the fence, he believed her, and he LOVED it. She got the crown. I mean, the rose. And he reciprocated her feelings and said “I know that I am falling in love with you.”
So, I have a big question. At that point, did Colton think Tayshia was a liar?
Was I thinking that Tayshia was a liar? I’ll be honest. I didn’t know who to believe. I was bumfuzzled.
He then took Caelynn to an amphitheater to hear a country music “sensation” (take note of the ” “, Onyeka) at a private outdoor concert. I didn’t know who he was, but I liked his song, and I liked his outfit. I’m going to have to recreate it soon.
BACK AT THE HOUSE
Caelynn got home, sat down with Cassie, and she told her everything that Colton said that Tayshia had said.
WHO DID I BELIEVE????
I still couldn’t decide.
The next day Caelynn and Tayshia sat down to hash things out, and all I could focus on was Tayshia’s darling sweater. To sum it up, Caelynn was pretty furious and Tayshia could not have cared less.
Tayshia’s story seemed to change a bit during this encounter with Caelynn. With Colton, she seemed to be saying that she actuallyheard Caelynn and Cassie say those things. RIGHT? Well, now she’s saying that when Colton expressed his fears at the end of the rose ceremony about what Katie had told him, that Tayshia and the other girls thought that Caelynn and Cassie were the only ones that acted defensive.
Which is it Tayshia? Did you actually hear them say these things? Or are you just INTERPRETING their reactions to mean that they probably said those things. I was going to need some proof.
I’m going to need to know her source. Did she hear this with her own ears? Did somebody tell her? I NEED DETAILS. And some sort of audio or video recording. I mean, I’m going to need her to go back into the house with a wire and get some ACTUAL EVIDENCE. After all, she threw some serious shade and didn’t really have anything of worth to back up her story.
HANNAH B: HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS
They hopped in his Mercedes SUV (#fancy) and were driving around town. It was obvious that Hannah didn’t know where they were headed…..and then they rolled up to one of his parent’s houses.
I had to wonder if she was rethinking the crop top at that point.
They all sat down together on the cozy sectional, and she was holding her own. She looked genuinely thrilled and happy to be there (more like an enthusiastic girlfriend than a beast monster), and it seemed like she was making a good impression.
Colton’s dad took him aside, but before we get to the conversation, I have an important question to ask. Did y’all think that he looked really young? Like reallllllllllllllllllllllllllly young? Dad told him to be careful of what other girls said and to trust his own judgement more. That’s some good solid advice, Dad.
Mama (who looks young too!) asked Hannah if she was ready for an engagement, and she very enthusiastically responded with the fact that she was “SO READY”. When mama questioned Hannah about Colton’s feelings, she was much less sure.
Back with Dad, Colton told him that Hannah had told him that she was falling in love with him, but he wasn’t quite there yet. UH OH. Somebody should go ahead and call Uber.
That night, Hannah stepped out of the limo looking like Disco Barbie. I will say this, pink lame is her color. The girl was glowing.
When they sat down, Hannah started pouring her heart out to him, but Colton still didn’t know if he could get there. So he told her that. And then he walked Disco Barbie to the SUV of shame.
She was heartbroken, but she handled it like a champ. She even said she was glad it was happening before she introduced him to her family.
I was inspired to make a toast in honor of Hannah. To placing 5th. In pageants and in love. #rolltide
I was actually quite proud of how she handled the break up. Yes, she was teary in the limo, but she said “I will not allow myself to not feel chosen every single day.” Which I thought was pretty profound. YOU GO, HANNAH!
Sidebar: At this point, there was only 40 minutes left in the episode, and I had to be honest with myself. NO WAY was a wall jump going to be happening.
Back at the house, the girls were aghast when the guy came to sweep Hannah B’s suitcase away.
Hannah G, Kirpa, Cassie, Heather: Saying Goodbye is Never Easy
It was now time for the group date. It was starting with 4 girls, but it was going to end with only 2. Look how fun the limo ride looked to the destination.
Colton rolled up casually on a a steam engine train. As one does on The Bachelor.
All the girls hopped on board with him. #comeonridethetrain #andrideit
They each got some alone time with him where they were expected to prove that they were worthy of a hometown date. Heather was first. And the girl dropped a bomb that I did not see coming. She told him that she wasn’t there yet with him. It was a short and sweet “break up”, and then she got on the train and chugged away.
When Hannah G. was with Colton, Cassie and Kirpa were “talking”. Kirpa was all “Yeah, I’d heard the same things about you that Tayshia had heard.” Kirpa told the camera that she thinks that Cassie is still trying to find herself and isn’t quite ready for a long term commitment. She went on to say to the camera “I have no problem…if Colton asks about the situation, asks for more clarity, I don’t want him to be blindsided. I’ll just let him know that I think Cassie needs to go home.” When Cassie tried to question Kirpa, Kirpa said something about it being “her opinion”. Which was a stupid argument. And I thought she looked so smug. I was annoyed.
Cassie went away with Colton next. He was very cautious with her, but he did tell her that her name was brought up to him as not being ready and that it terrified him. Same old story…he was scared…heights, snakes, and unrequited love.
Cassie responded with “I’m SO shocked. I don’t want you to believe that. I’m telling you, I would not be here if it weren’t for you. I don’t know why girls are making stuff up like that.” She was acting upset, but for some reason it just didn’t ring true for me. And y’all know, I LOVE CASSIE. But yeah, I’m just not sure I believed her. Doth protest too much, ya’ know? But Colton did seem to believe her.
Next up, Kirpa and Colton. She flat out said “I have concerns about Cassie and Caelynn. That they aren’t ready.” And then Kirpa, while trying to corroborate her story, also brought up how Cassie and Caelynn were the only ones that were nervous after Katy called people out. WAS THIS REALLY THEIR EVIDENCE? Because people interpreting how others reacted to an announcement IS NOT ACTUAL EVIDENCE.
When Kirpa returned, she and and Cassie got into it. And it was pretty much a case of “I’m rubber, you’re glue.” But I have to say, Kirpa came off as the one who was just spewing information that may or may not be true. It seemed as if she was basing all of her beliefs off of something that Katie told her. Which was ridiculous.
And just like that, I was back on Team Cassie.
And then I decided to run for president of Team Cassie when she said this in regards to Kirpa.
At that time, Colton was equipped with 2 roses to hand out. But he chose to continue into the evening with all 3 of the girls. He needed more time.
That night, all three sat down with what looked to be grilled chicken and broccoli. Nobody touched their food, and then Colton walked in to join them at the very awkward table set up.
He sat down and let the ladies know he did get clarity, and then he immediately asked Hannah if they could go out and talk….and he left Cassie and Kirpa sitting there. WHAT? HUH? Was he letting his little sushi roll go????????????
Calm down, everybody. He walked back in and grabbed the rose and walked right back outside to Hannah. Which meant either Kirpa or Cassie was going home.
The next thing I knew, Kirpa and Colton were upstairs talking. And kissing. With a little too much tongue coverage, if you ask me.
Back at the girl’s house, Hannah walked back in with her rose and talked a bit with Caelynn and Tayshia. She let them know about the altercation between Kirpa and Cassie. Caelynn told the camera how she would NOT be okay with things if Cassie went home because of false statements.
So Caelynn took matters into her own hands. With Kirpa and Cassie sitting quietly at the awkwardly long table, Caelynn busted in to the room like she was a member of S.W.A.T. She didn’t say a word. She just headed up the stairs.
She wanted Colton to know that she fully believed the stories about her and Cassie were false. She said her peace, and then she exited without saying a thing to either girl. She barely even gave them a glance. #stealthmode
Kirpa and Cassie were like, “Who dat?”
Colton made his wan down the stairs. He sat down with the girls, he grabbed the rose, and he handed it to…..
wait for it………
CASSIE.
WHEW! That was a close one y’all! In the end, he went with his gut.
So what are your thoughts? Are you Team Tayshia? Or are you Team Caelynn/Cassie? Do you think Hannah G.won the night by just keeping her mouth shut? Sound off in the comments!
***********************
Before you go….
If you didn’t see my February Amazon haul, you need to click HERE right now. I found so much great stuff this month, and I was amazed at the prices. Most items are under $40 and some are under $20! The t-shirt dress on the top left is $18! The grey military jacket is under $40! And the blush colored hoodie is under $30 and crazy soft!
I also introduced you to a new pair of jeans that are going to be my GO TO jeans for Spring and Summer!
I LOVE AND ADORE THESE JEANS.
They are super stretchy (but they don’t sag!), very comfy, and sooooooooooooooooo flattering. They hug me in all the right places and just make me feel great. I love the medium wash, the slight whiskering, and the ankle length. For size reference, I’m wearing a 4, so I think they’re true to size.
And look! Our favorite peplum tee just went 40% OFF!!! I’m wearing a small in the tee (s0 I didn’t size down like suggested) and it’s a great spring a summer basic. I’m wearing a 27 in the shorts (consider sizing down if between sizes), and size up a 1/2 size in the sandals. This is one of my warm weather uniforms, and the tee comes in 8 colors!
peplum tee / favorite earrings / Sims stone necklace / favorite denim shorts / strappy sandals ON SALE
One of my Top 3 Favorites Bras is 40% OFF too!
All right, that’s it for today! I have an extra post this week, so make sure you come back tomorrow for a little peek into our home!
Erika Slaughter says
Eeeeeekkkkkk!!!!! You included my very FAVORITE picture this week! Ashley making that face makes me laugh every time!! And your toast to Hannah was PERFECT!!
Amanda says
Haha! I feel the same every time I see that picture of Ashley I!
Shay Shull says
Why do I have butterflies in my stomach the whole time I read these posts???
Narci says
All of the girl drama was soooo confusing. I just couldn’t even remember who “Katie” was. Was there a Katie on this season. Hahaha. Hysterical recap, friend!
Kristin Tate says
I had to go back and google this Katie they kept bringing up!
Becky says
Great recap! Team Hannah for staying out of it!
Heidi says
Team Hannah for staying out of it! But I’m really hoping at the women tell all Chris asks all the girls who warned him when they left last week what they meant. So confused!
Bracken says
Aww man, I usually agree with your recaps Sheaffer, but I’m totally NOT on team Caelynn/Cassie. Ashley I actually wrote an article about this — they seem a little too cliquey and a little too fake. I also was not fond of Cassie calling somebody an idiot – even if not to their faces. She seems too defensive instead of being confident in what her and Colton have. In regards to Caelynn – she is straight up NASTY. When she said “I better get a f*cking rose” she sounded more like she was in a competition rather than trying to get engaged to Colton… not to mention she called Tayshia a “stupid b*tch” and I did not see Kirpa OR Tayshia resort to name-calling. It doesn’t matter who’s telling the truth ultimately, this whole episode just showed what Caelynn and Cassie’s true colors are.
Sheaffer says
I totally agree with you that the name calling was uncalled for. I should have written about that more. Sometimes, I’m just trying to get through the recap and leave things out that I shouldn’t. And good point about Kirpa and Tayshia not name calling…but it did seem that they were reporting information as facts that was really just hearsay. We’ll probably never know what actually happened! xoxo
Ann says
I love your Bachelor recaps each week- you are hilarious – but was hoping you’d mention the “pink notebook” that Kirpa and Colton were seen with- what was up with that??!!
Kim Westcott says
Me too! They had it each time they were together–on the mountain and in the house. I just knew Sheaffer would have caught that! #mysteryofthepinknotebook
Sheila Haines says
I was wondering that too!!!!!
Shawnee says
Yes! I wondered about the pink notebook too!
Kirstin Brown says
Team Cassie!
Valerie says
I wasn’t sure who to believe until the whole truth came out about it being a perception thing based on their defensiveness and not because someone actually said anything. It all seems so desperate on the part of those that keep trying to throw Caelyn and Cassie under the bus. I could be wrong, but I’m Team Caelyn/Cassie. I’m so looking forward to the Women Tell All. This is going to be good!
Paul says
I don’t think badmouthing the competition behind their back reflects well on the backstabbers, who likely put a very negative , self-serving nterpretation on what they heard.
On the other hand, do you believe the total denials by Team Caelyn/Cassie? I doubt the tattletales made it all up.
Kara says
Thanks for the comment on Alabama Hannah’s outfits. The Janet Jackson reference was perfect and I thought the SAME thing about the regrets wearing a tank top to the parent’s house.
The wall jump…Colton lost in the woods…got me again this week-shame on me!
These recaps are the highlight of my week.
KatyO says
Does anyone else think Cassie favors Shay in looks/presentation? I see it every episode!
Sheaffer says
I’ve never thought it, but I do see it now! xoxo
Jessica Bloodgood says
I think she’s a dead ringer for Lizzie McGuire (Hilary Duff)!
Addison says
I’m Team Hannah all the way — she’s adorable and she’s drama free! Your recaps always make me laugh and that picture of Ashley I. will always crack me up!
Sarah says
Me too! It’s her. From the beginning.
Bren says
#nailedit with your toast! Wednesdays are so much better thanks to your recaps! 🙂
shar y says
Hilarious recap as always. I so love to read them each week! Thank you for doing them for us! Regarding Alabama Hannah’s pink dress, my thought that she was recycling one of her pageant dresses because who brings a shimmery pink lame gown to Denver???
Jantzen says
Truly dying to know what your first hashtag would’ve said because I LAUGHED OUT LOUD in my office reading it…and then had to awkwardly explain to coworkers what in the world was going on. Might be my favorite recap yet.
I can’t decide who I believe … seems strange to me that Demi, Sydney and Katie would all give the same warning, and then Tayshia, Hannah B and Kirpa would all do the same. Something’s off, and while I give Colton props for following his gut, I also think at this point he deserves whatever could be coming (read: FENCE JUMP) since he chose to completely ignore what/who more than half the girls say he needs to be careful about.
Paula says
I just wonder why when those girls said ‘there are people here who aren’t ready’, Colton just didn’t say ‘who do you mean?’ That would have saved a lot of trouble… but then I guess we wouldn’t have all these ‘most dramatic ever’ episodes!
Julie Bradford says
These recaps are my favorite!!! so hilarious!!!! When are these girls ever going to learn… do NOT go on the Bachelor and tattle on each other… it’s so annoying!!!! I cracked up over your peeee-can or puh-can… it’s totally Puhh can … Have you ever heard someone say Butter Buhhh-can… bahahha sends me over the edge.. 🙂
Love the recaps and the hashtags are the best!
Juliana Grace says
After last nights episode I am thinking they are all just crazy, haha. I find it hard to believe that Cassie and Caelynn are truthful when it seems every other girl in the house thinks they’re fake. But then again, everyone could be tearing them down because they’re front runners. Tayshia had been my favorite (because they actually TALKED) but now I think I’m team Hannah G, because she stayed out of the drama. IDK! My mind changes every time! Haha!
Great recap! I am thinking the fence jump will be during finale episode? Who knows!!
Beth Knecht says
I live for these posts on Wednesday’s! Teams Hannah, but he always seems so smitten by Cassie! One minute he’s questioning her and the next they’re making out!! I’m still not sure who I think he will choose!!
Stacey says
I had never watched the Bachelor until I started fiollowing your blog about a year ago. Your recaps were so funny that I started watching (the Ari season) so I could follow along with you. My husband is baffled by my interest in this show. He said “but you are normally so reasonable!”. I can’t help it, I’m hooked. Thank you for helping to freshen up my wardrobe too. I don’t get much time for shopping and I appreciate you doing that for me.
Sarah M says
I believe Tayshia. If you watch Caelyn’s reaction when he mentions the bachelorette she says with the biggest smile “who me?!” And then she gets sad real quick. It’s hilarious!
Love your recaps! Ha he scares easily! =p
Lisa says
Wasn’t it last week (or maybe the week before) that at the end of the episode Tayshia whispered to Kirpa that they would be the last two standing there and that they could make that happen…It’s just a little fishy that they then come after the front runners after those plotting comments!
Sheaffer says
You’re right, Lisa!!!! Great point! xoxo, Sheaffer 🙂
Calypso in the Country says
Yes, I was going to say the same thing! I think they were targeting the front runners! I always love your recaps and I can’t wait for the fence jumping episode!
Shelley
Melissa says
I still like Cassie and don’t see the big problem if she and Caelynn did talk about becoming the Bachelorette. It’s okay to not be completely in love with someone they hardly know and who is dating other women at the same time! That said, I like Caelynn less and less each episode and I REALLY dislike her now. I just find her way too practiced, insincere and manipulative. She let her true colors shine with her cursing during the interview and it was not a good look. She really comes off as a mean girl and a bit full of herself and I’m ready for her to go home! Hannah G definitely handled everything best, and I have to admit I was sad to see Hannah B go home. While I didn’t see the connection between her and Colton, I really liked her more and more each episode and appreciate her ability to laugh at herself and be funny. I would love to see her as Bachelorette!
JJ says
Exactly what she said ☝️?
Julie says
I think the girls are jealous of Cassie, because earlier they all said they see the connection between her and Colton. I think the same is true with Caelyn. I do like that Hannah stays out of any drama. I think it will be Cassie and Hannah as the last two.
Dana Siler says
Loved your recap! I look forward to reading it! Your hashtags were spot on about Alabama Hannah. I was impressed by her statements in the limo. I am team Caelynn/Cassie. We’ll see how it all plays out.
On another note, I bought some of your Amazon/Nordstrom recommdations. I picked up the pocket cardigan in blush pink, the jersey dress, and the ‘must have’ leggings! I also ordered the Steve Madden loafers, the ‘must have’ bra from Wacoall, and the Shoreline Sneakers from Converse. Whew! I thonk I’m done.
Jackie T. says
I’m just curious if there are repercussions from the Miss USA enterprise for unbecoming language or behavior? I was very shocked to see Caelynn present herself this way on national TV.
I’m not particularly conservative but as a 54 year old mom I would be so disappointed to see my daughter (or son) act this way for the whole world to see.
Rachel says
I also love reading your recaps! I am totally on team Cassie/Caelynn. I feel that the other 2 ladies may be a little more bitter about where they are in life versus where they want to be, so they are throwing some serious shade! Something about Tayshia just gets under my skin and I can’t put my finger on it, and Kirpa seemed so smug in her and Cassie’s altercation. It just gave me bad vibes about both of them. Also, I pronounce pecan, puh-can (can with soft a).
Callie says
This is NOT a spoiler- I found this on Reddit (the comments have some spoilers, so I didn’t want to send you to the link and spoil anything). Anyway, I found this VERY compelling, and if you go back and watch the clip-it makes sense 100%!
Hi all,
Disclaimer: I posted this theory earlier in a comment. However I actually just re-watched the episode with a friend (normally we watch together, but she was busy last night and asked if I would Hulu it with her tonight for tradition’s sake. I was thinking about the end of last episode, when Tayshia makes the cryptic comment about “it’ll be us at the end.” Like a lot of people, I initially thought she might have been talking about her and Kirpa being the only WOC (or non-blondes) left. However, considering RS’s spoiler that Cassie and Caelynn were openly discussing being the Bachelorette, I also wondered whether Tayshia was quoting Cassie and Caelynn’s alleged conversation. I re-watched the episode and I am now almost certain that Tayshia was directly quoting the alleged “Bachelorette” conversation between Cassie and Caelynn, and the producers edited the scene to make it more ambiguous.
The scene:
During the rose ceremony, the order of the women is (from left to right): Hannah B, Heather, Katie, Caelynn, Cassie, Hannah G, Tayshia, Kirpa (the three ladies with roses stand far right). As Katie drives away, they’re standing in the same order, but they’re all turned around with their backs to Colton, talking amongst themselves. Colton comes back to the circle of women. He tells the women that Katie was “the third person to tell me that there are people who are here who aren’t ready to be engaged.” At that point, Colton is standing in a circle with Heather directly to his left, then Hannah B, Hannah G, Caelynn, Cassie, Kirpa, and Tayshia.
Then Tayshia, in ITM, says: “I have an idea of who she’s talking about, and I agree with her, and it should be brought to his attention. Colton knows that the tea is brewing and he wants someone to spill the tea.”
Next, it zooms in on Tayshia, standing next to Kirpa. Tayshia shakes her head and says “I am so confused, I’m just blown away.” We see her mouth moving and she says it in a fairly normal voice. When she says this, there’s no one on either side of Tayshia OR Kirpa and Kirpa’s head is tilted towards Tayshia, suggesting that this conversation is private.
Then the camera cuts to Colton. Behind him, we see that Tayshia and Kirpa are standing off to the side by themselves, with the other women standing over to the left. We can’t see who speaks next, but Tayshia’s whispered voice then plays: “Let’s take this thing.” Pause. Camera shows Tayshia looking at Kirpa with Hannah G. directly next to Kirpa, then Hannah G. looking startled. Tayshia’s voice continues while the camera zooms in on Hannah G: “Watch, it’s us two at the end.” Pause. Camera goes back to Tayshia, making it clear that she is whispering to Kirpa, but you can still see Hannah G. on the side as Tayshia mumbles, “Literally us two.” Camera cuts to Cassie looking with a panicked expression at Caelynn, as Tayshia continues, “We’re going to, I feel it.” The camera lingers on Cassie looking at Caelynn, wide-eyed, and then cuts back to Tayshia and Kirpa. Hannah G. is still visible in the frame as Tayshia shakes her head and rolls her eyes.
SO: I think this conversation was stitched together and Tayshia is directly quoting the conversation that she overheard between Cassie and Caelynn in which they discussed coming onto the show intending to become the Bachelorette rather than to get engaged to Colton. After they talked about wanting to be the Bachelorette, Cassie or Caelynn said something along the lines of “well one of us will definitely be Bachelorette. Let’s take this thing.” In response, the other girl laughed or rolled her eyes and said “watch, it’s us two at the end. Literally us two.” Referencing the fact that neither of them want to be engaged to Colton, so it would be ironic if they ended up as final two.
My guess is that Tayshia and possibly Katie overheard the conversation. We know Tayshia was friends with Sydney and Katie was at least friendly with Demi, so it’s possible that Tayshia and maybe Katie told Sydney and Demi about this conversation beforehand and were discussing it at some point. While Katie was leaving and getting into the limo, all of the women turned around to give Katie and Colton privacy, facing the opposite direction. By turning around, they reversed the order they were standing in. This is why the camera shots appear to show Tayshia in far left, then Kirpa, then Hannah G – because they were facing the opposite direction for the entire whispered conversation. Thus, while he was still talking to Katie (or while he was talking to the cameras about being confused), Tayshia whispered to Kirpa that she (and possibly Katie?) had overheard Cassie and Caelynn’s conversation. The producers cut and highlighted snippets of that conversation: “let’s take this thing” and “Watch, it’s us two at the end. Literally us two.” Cassie, Caelynn, and Hannah overheard this and Cassie went “oh ****, she heard us.” Then at some point later, Tayshia and Kirpa moved slightly aside (away from Hannah) and were talking. At that point, Tayshia said “I am so confused, I’m just blown away” because she assumed Katie might be telling Colton about the conversation too. THEN, Colton returned to tell the women what he’d heard and left.
This is the only explanation that makes sense to me given the order of the women during the different snippets of conversation – if Tayshia’s comments occurred after Colton had returned, then Tayshia would have been at the far right, rather than at the far left of the shots.
Sheaffer says
OMG! CALLIE! You need to be like an investigative reporter! Or an FBI agent! I can’t wait to see what others have to say about your commentary! xoxo, Sheaffer
Callie says
Just to clarify-those aren’t my original observations. I found them on Reddit, but I watched the clip probably 10 times and am 100% convinced this is what happened. I also think back to Tayshia calling out Onyeka about Nicole. When she calmly says “that’s funny, I was there, and that wasn’t what was said.” If she were out for blood and to trample people to win, I don’t think she would have tried to step in there with truth. She could have let it just sit there. Who knows, we’ll never know the whole truth.
Kara says
This makes sense. I was Team Cassie but now…huh…very interesting. Could be another reason that Caitlyn made her stealth move on the 3 on 1.
Thanks for sharing Callie!
Lynn Duncan says
From what I hear, they rent homes and rarely use actual homes for home visits any more. Security, I guess.
I actually watched this episode, first time this season,can’t I was in a similar old train in San Diego (Campo, actually) on Saturday, by we didn’t get to stand outside to make a grand entrance (or not so grand exit).
Great recap! Cannot wait for the ending of this season
KJM says
I am a puh-convert. I used to say pee-can, until a lengthy debate at work that was resolved from audio from answers.com saying in a very deep, sexy, voice “puh-connn” (sadly that audio clip is no longer there). My co-worker says “truckers have pee cans, pies have pecans (puh-cons).
I still feel a little pretentious calling them puh-cons, but now I just can’t bring myself to say pee-can.
Kathleen H. says
What about us in Michigan who say pee-con? ??♀️
Alise Sabine says
Minnesota as well, we say pee-con.
Robin Harris says
I’m totally team Cassie! Not so much Caelyn. But I do admire her for speaking up for Cassie! Go Cassie!!!
Erin says
Whoa. This episode was drama! I’ve read a bit about detecting a liar and Cassie and Caelynns body language, defensiveness, foul language, talking loudly, cutting down the messenger all speak loudly of deception. I believe Tayshia and Kirpa. They were both calm and controlled. Not defensive or evasive. And if we believe reality Steve then it confirms what Tayshia snd Kirpa are saying.
Sheaffer says
I don’t read Reality Steve, but interesting information about how to detect lies!!! Thanks for sharing!
Marina says
Taysha is one to talk. She was in a serious 10 month relationship that included a trip to the Bahamas a week before the bachelor started filming and dumped the guy right before she left. So I don’t trust her with anything. She’s just causing trouble because of she’s desperate? Or feeling threatened by Cassie and CaeIynn?? I don’t know. I don’t really trust Caelynn and I think she’ll go next, but it’ll come down to Cassie and Hannah.
Jen Zimmerman says
I read another recap (from a former Bachelorette) that said Cassie is on another reality TV show that is airing right now!? I didn’t look into it to see what it was called but I was curious if you knew or had heard this?? Makes me question her a little bit more!! LOVE your recaps!!!
Sheaffer says
I’ve heard about it, Jen! Apparently it’s a Christian based show based on the Christian university she attended. That’s all I know. xoxo
Shannon says
Hi! I actually saw this too and watched a few of the episodes from the show!! It definitely was interesting and helped you get to know Cassie a little more (bc I don’t think bachelor is letting us get to know any of the girls really!). She was also in a serious relationship like right before this season began. He even had asked her to go to another country with him for a year to live.
Tammie says
Team Cassie all the way! Great recap! Girls that tattle never win…have they not watched this show before!
Audrey says
I was hoping you would comment on how he said “pecan”. ?
Kelly Davis says
OK, first, I am apparently the oddball, with pee-con. Ha!
But beyond the drama that you captured perfectly, please tell me I am not alone in wondering who does their set design, because the table linens at the last dinner were baffling! I was so distracted 🙂
Sheaffer says
Hey, Kelly! We’ll still be friends with you. Even though you say pecan wrong. 🙂 And YES! The table was all sorts of wrong! 🙂 xoxo
Amy says
Love the recap, as always!! I actually watched 2.5 episodes last night because I was behind, but I had already read your recaps of the previous shows. It was super funny watching the show already knowing what you had to say! LOL I kept pausing and telling my husband… Sheaffer says this, or Sheaffer says that. Hahaha!
Also… has anyone commented on the girls talking about Hannah G when she went on her 1-on1, saying that she seems to have gotten by her whole life on her beauty and they wonder if there is actually any depth to her?? I thought that was really interesting (especially after the whole lawn conversation) that the girls living with her for over a month STILL don’t know if there is more to her than beauty. OR… maybe they were just being jealous and catty? I’d love your thoughts!
Sheaffer says
Hi, Amy! I think Hannah is just realllllllllllly quiet and probably only opens up to people that she is very close to. I get the vibe that she just kind of keeps to herself. But I mean, who knows! Hahaha! 🙂
Gina says
I am team Cassie/Caelynn all the way. Kirpa and Tayshia seemed to be grasping at straws, in my opinion. And, like you said, reporting on feelings moreso than actual facts that were heard. I don’t think the name calling was Caelynn’s best look, but I also feel like a lot of her ranting in that clip was more frustration than anything else. I don’t know. If someone was saying something super untrue about you and you knew it was going to be a your word against their situation- you almost have nothing to do BUT fly off the handle like that, ya know?
Something seems more off to me about Tayshia than it does about C & C. Tayshai and Kirpa both had this confident arrogance about them that I did NOT like. At all. Kirpa’s whole way of speaking to Cassie was very “mean girl” to me. It was icky. Both her and T acted as if they were above it all and no one could say anything to make them budge on the things they “knew” about C & C.
Liz Thorson says
Great recap, Sheaffer, and many interesting comments from your followers! I’m hoping Cassie and Hannah G. are Colton’s two final ladies. I think Cassie is his best choice for many reasons. She is fun, athletic, smart, serious about her faith and close with her family. All values Colton holds dearly. I’ve learned some of this about her from the show, but also from watching and reading information available through googling her name’. I do not read spoilers. I loves Hannah G. but I think she is too quiet, shy and serious to make Colton happy, long term. Hometowns will reveal a lot more insight, I hope! Caelynn has disappointed me with her potty mouth, defensiveness and tendency to be catty. I think she is very calculating and is in it to win. The affection she shows for Colton, both with her words and actions, seems insincere and phony. I am so sorry for her horrific college experience and respect and admire her for her using her pageant platform for speaking about sexual assault. I do not see her as the partner for Colton. I do not see Tayshia has being Colton’s person, either. Having been divorced just a year or so ago and then being in a relationship with another man right up until she began her journey on The Bach…come on. She is pretty, smart and definitely is seeking a loving, solid relationship. I hope she finds it, but not with Colton.
Deanna Burke says
I don’t think we’ll ever know the full truth for sure….but I would think that at least SOME of this would have been caught on some footage at SOME point ?. Also, mad props to Caelynn who stood up for a girl who was clearly her main competition for her man, instead of letting him eliminate her and keep Kirpa (not a front runner). That speaks volumes about what’s closer to the truth and her character.
Jordan says
I think both Hannah’s won the night! Hannah G for staying neutral and Hannah B for the self worth. Always love your recaps!!
Casey Snisarenko says
I want to believe Cassie, but just couldn’t get there. During her conversation with Colton questioning her she acted like she was crying, but there were no actual tears. I’m not feeling like she is genuine. Boo!
Kathy says
Such a funny recap. My favorite phrase was “the SUV of shame.” You’re insight is always right on target. And, I laughed out loud when Cassie said “In my opinion, you’re an idiot.” Thanks for taking the time to do this.
CampDallas says
I say pee-con. Wisconsin thing?!
Paula says
Honestly, I’d be pretty surprised if the girls don’t speculate about who might be the next bachelorette – they know historically it’s going to be one of the final girls. There’s a lot of sitting around time – I’m sure it must come up!
Jeni says
I’m gonna need you to text me those hashtags so I can giggle. Loved this post!!!
Lynn Duncan says
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/pronunciation/english/pecan
https://www.farmflavor.com/at-home/cooking/how-do-you-say-pecan-mapping-food-dialect-trends-across-the-u-s/
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/food/pecan-vs-pecan-the-divide-over-how-to-say-the-word-can-drive-you-nuts/2016/12/23/c5e1a256-c7c3-11e6-bf4b-2c064d32a4bf_story.html?utm_term=.d6c32804e707
In will just stuck to pistachios..
Sheaffer says
I lol’d!!!! 🙂
Terra Heck says
I agree with you about Alabama Hannah. She rocked her exit speech. Personally, though, I didn’t care for her pink dress. At this point, I’m not sure any of the girls are a great fit for Colton.
Sara says
During Colton’s conversation with his dad I said, “I didn’t realize he has a brother.” And my husband was like “uhhh, that’s his DAD.” So yeah, his dad looks young.
I really, really liked Cassie until this week. I’m sure we’re not getting the whole story but something felt off to me & I started to wonder if there are actually girls who want to be on The Bachelor because of the chance to become the next Bachelorette. The clothes, hair & makeup, travel etc seem like a pretty big incentive. I hope that’s not Cassie’s intention & like I said, she seemed (to me) to be the best match for Colton until I heard the accusations this week & I started to doubt her sincerity. I think Hannah was the winner this week because she was above all the gossip & drama. I guess we’ll see how it all plays out. Thanks for the hilarious recap Sheaffer!
Lynn Duncan says
I have always heard that they bring their own clothes, do their own hair and makeup.
Only if a date includes clothing or other goodies, like the watches on one date in Switzerland, do they score, other than in getting to travel , and often they a stuck inside, waiting to be filmed.
Paul says
I think Cassie responded to the accusation in an unconvincing way, even though she end up with a rose. A flat denial basically accusers the backstabbers of making up lies.
Better to say, “there was light-hearted banter about the next batchelorette, but none of us were serious. Nobody said or insinuated she wanted to be the batchelorette instead of Mrs. Underwood. Unfortunately, a couple of girls chose to put the most negative spin on it, and came to you to badmouth their competition. I belueve in being upfront, not in going around behind people’s back to dish gross distortions.”
Brittany says
Kirpa and Cassie reminded me of Tayler and Corinne. Both were so painful to watch ?
Not sure I really like any of the girls at this point…
Hollie says
After seeing the way Caelynn reacted, I think there’s a lot of truth to what Alabama Hannah said about her in the beginning of the season. I saw a completely new side of her & it was pretty scary!
I don’t understand why Caelynn and Cassie were so defensive if they truly never said anything. Obviously they did say something since they were so uptight about it. I can’t wait for the Women Tell All!
Gillian says
OMG this was my exact thought. Caelynn flipped so effortlessly from the “who me? OMG shocked” that she gave Colton to the “that bleeping bleep” that she gave to the camera in her interview. And I’m here for Tayshia, even though she broke the cardinal rule of don’t talk on other folks or you’ll get burned -she should have nudged Kirpa to fall on that sword alone. My money is on Hannah G now. I can’t even with Cassie – everything about her rubs me the wrong way.
Bethany says
I’ve liked Tayshia all along, but didn’t like how she spilled it all out. I agree, i wanted the facts, not her “thoughts.” That said, i’m not a Caelynn fan, she’s just too fake. I was glad to see Kirpa go, honestly she should have left on their one on one, there was no chemistry there! I think it will be Cassie & Hannah in the final two and i bet Hannah wins it. Cassie for bachelorette would be my vote!
Lori says
I am team “PUH CONS”!!! Please the other is something people used to put under their beds a long, long time ago!
Paul says
Here’s what I don’t understand: Colton told the two girls accusing their competitors of bad behavior that he trusted and believed the accusers. Then the accused duo denied everything, and they got roses!
So did Colton believe their denials, which means he changed his mind about the veracity of the accusers? Or does he think the accused duo are lying, but he wants them anyway? He can’t simultaneously believe all four of them.
Mandy says
Love your recaps! I do wonder if Hannah G wins because she’s been given such a good edit, like Lauren did when she won Ben’s season. Hannah seems to get along with everyone and stay above the Frey. Just ordered a romper she was modeling on Red Dress, lol!