The Bachelor Episode 4, Part 1: I’m Afraid of Tacos

Hey, Ladies!  How is it already week 4?  It’s true what they say, time really does fly when girls are being crazy, ageist, petty, and judgmental.  Ha!

Let’s take a walk down memory lane just in case you missed anything.  Click HERE for the season premiere, where I crowned a sloth the winner.

Click HERE for the week 2 recap, where we all learned that we need to have a memorized toast in our back pockets just in case the occasion arises.  #rolltide

Click HERE for last week’s recap where this happened.  #shameful #rolltide

LET’S GET STARTED!

The show opened up rehashing a bit of the drama from last week with the two beauty queens, and I laughed SO HARD when Harrison called Hannah “Caelynn”.  To her face.

Hannah was all, “Well first, my name is Hannah.”

IT WAS HYSTERICAL.  I didn’t even care that it was most assuredly a planned #oops that was cooked up by producers.  Because it was genius.

Harrison then announced to the group that they were going to a place that the show had never been before.  The squeals that filled the room surely broke some sort of sound barrier, and he hadn’t even announced the location yet.

He could have been like, “We’re going to Town East Mall”, and the screams would have seem wasted. #shoutouttomydallaspeeps  But no, they were going to Singapore!

The girls arrived, toasted to true love, and ran in the rooms and jumped on the beds at The Fairmont.  And then they shouted “SINGAPORE” from the balcony.  As one does when in Singapore.  And on a balcony.  It’s in the rule book.

1:1 Date – TAYSHIA

LET’S FALL IN LOVE

So if you’ve been watching the show for more than just this season, you know that getting a date card that says “Let’s Fall In Love” didn’t mean that they were going to go to a waterfall (as Tayshia hoped).  All of us Bachelor veterans immediately knew that the word FALL meant something much more ominous.  My suspicions were confirmed when Colton told the camera he was looking forward to the date, but also said “I hope we don’t die.”

I figured they were probably going bungee jumping or sky diving.  I also figured that this date meant that Tayshia had written “fear of heights” on her application.  Because that’s how The Bachelor rolls, y’all.

PEOPLE!  IF I’VE TOLD YOU ONCE, I’VE TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES… When applying for The Bachelor, on the section that says “List Your Fears” write the following: “1) Tacos 2) Diamonds, and 3) Puppies.”

It just makes good sense.

And sure enough, they were going to be bungy jumping.  (I thought it was bungee, but the crane says bungy.)  I’m guessing it’s a language thing.  Potato, PoTAHto.

Here’s the deal. I don’t have a fear of heights at all, BUT I WILL NEVER BUNGEE JUMP.  Why? Because I do have a fear of bungee cords breaking.  And bungy cords being too long. AND my head snapping right off of my neck.  All reasons that will keep me from jumping.

Colton got all strapped up, took a step off the platform, and screamed like a little girl the whole way down.  It was kind of awesome.

And then Tayshia went.  And the girl jumped off the platform like she was jumping off a curb that was 6 inches high.  She was straight up and down with her feet facing the ground.  I was nervous.  After making it about 75% of the way down, gravity took over, and the cord snapped her upside down.  #ouch

After safely reaching ground, they stripped down to their suits and took a quick little dip in the ocean.  And they made out.  As one does when in an ocean in Singapore.

They sat down for dinner that night, and Colton started off with what appears to be his go to line to get women to open up.  He said, “I wanna know how you are the way you are.”  I think he meant “why”, but whatevs.  She said “There’s a lot to me that makes me me.”  She shared that the last year and a half had been hard for her because she was married and divorced.  She explained that she was married to her first boyfriend, but that she couldn’t make someone else want to be married.  Colton then shared that he has divorced parents, so he understood.  You could tell that he totally calmed her fears.

She got the rose.  And then they made out  on a Ferris wheel.

GROUP DATE  Hannah G., Elyse, Kirpa, Sydney, Heather, Onyeka, Tracy, Nicole, Demi, Courtney, Katie, Cassie, and Miss Alabama Hannah

Let’s Get a Taste of Singapore.

After all the names were called, it became clear that Caelynn was going to get the  1:1 date that week. As you can imagine, Miss Alabama Hannah was seriously chill with all of it.  Nope, it didn’t bother her at all.  #excepttheoppositeofthat

While strolling the streets of Singapore, Demi sprinted 30 yards ahead of the rest of the girls and lept into Colton’s  arms.  She was wearing a top that was about the same size and similar fabric of one of my favorite oven mitts.

He carried her around on his back through the Singapore market, as the others had to OMG walk on their own.

Then they decided to check out Leech Therapy.  Y’all know I was disappointed that it wasn’t Speech Therapy.  I mean, a little group articulation therapy wouldn’t have hurt anybody.  I’m looking at you Colton and Courtney.  Sadly, instead of consonant work on initial /s/ and medial /t/, they were going to have their blood sucked by leaches.  Good times.

They walked in to a little room where some rando guy was getting his blood sucked by said leaches.  Courtney cracked me up, asking questions like “Is this up to code?” and “Are these leeches FDA approved?”  I thought those were excellent questions.  I would be all “Um, thank you, but no thank you.  What about a mani/pedi instead?”

 

They left the leach therapists office, Cassie and Colton sat down with some type of fortune teller, and he ended up telling them that they were brothers and sisters in a past life.   I’m thinking that this probably wasn’t the best news that they had heard all day.

The whole group strolled through the market some more, and self doubt started creeping in with Miss Alabama Hannah, which is always fun to watch.  They sat down for some local cuisine, including bull frog and fish eye.  #yummy  Colton expressed how trying new things was important to him, which is why he expected all the girls to try a tiny little bite of  nastiness.  Miss Alabama Hannah stepped up and ate an eyeball.  Mad props.

 

That night, Miss Alabama Hannah was the first one to grab him.  She shared that she feels a man needs to know that the woman he’s interested in has noble character.  And she wanted to make sure that he knew that she did in fact have great character.  Let’s roll the footage from last week….

But no worries, y’all.  Colton told her he’s okay with the 2 beauty queens not being besties, and then he stuck his tongue in her mouth.  And I found myself hoping that she had popped a Tic Tac in between the fish eye app and the make out sesh. She told the cameras there was a big possibility that she could fall in love with him.  EYE ROLL.

Cassie and Colton had some alone time together, and they made out.  This girl is going to go far.  You can tell they have a natural chemistry, and she made a joke about Colton kissing his sister right when they came up for air.  I continue to like her.

Demi and Colton had their time, and she confided that her mom had just been released from Federal Prison.  Colton was supportive.  I’m guessing he was wanting a bit more details, which I’m sure she gave him, but those deets didn’t make it to the edit.   He was very sweet and told her that he would never judge her based upon her mom’s issues.

All the while, Courtney was sitting with the other girls and was starting to implode.  She was upset because she felt like Colton was doing his best to make certain he was making a personal connection with all of the girls BUT HER.  Demi tried to encourage her to search him out, but Courtney decided that she was going to wait patiently.  Demi must have told her to go find him no less than 23 times.  I never thought I’d be saying this, but I actually agreed with Demi on this one.  Take some responsibility, Courtney!  Don’t sit there and pout….if you want to talk to him, THEN GO TALK TO HIM.

After trying to give Courtney some sound advice, Demi then headed back up to Colton to let him know that she appreciated his reaction to her admission about her mama just getting out of the clink.  But when Courtney got wind that Demi was sitting down for her 2nd round with Colton, Courtney’s patience was all gone. She marched straight up to see Demi and confront her.

She told Demi how she “didn’t understand” how Demi could go up and talk to him when she knew how badly Courtney wanted to talk to him.  (SIDENOTE:  All the while Courtney was talking, I could only focus on how she appeared to not move her mouth much as she was talking.  Like she said the /m/ sound without putting her lips together.  Which is tough to do.  And I’m betting that at least 80% of you just tried to do it. )   Anyhoo, I again found myself agreeing with Demi when she said something similar to “you have the right to your personal opinion, and I have the right not to care.”  #profound #preach

That upset Courtney greatly, and she ran off crying.  But I was less concerned with her crying and more concerned about the length of her dress.

COME BACK FOR PART 2 TOMORROW!

Okay, that’s it for Part 1.  With the line launch yesterday, and for several other reasons, I had to divide this week’s recap into two parts.  Come back tomorrow for Part 2 where you’ll get to see my thoughts on Caelynn’s 1:1 date  and the rose ceremony! I haven’t even watched the second hour yet, so I’m excited!

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Before you go, if you didn’t see yesterday’s post, you have to GO THERE NOW!  My friend Cassie launched her Resort Collection with Gibson and Nordstrom and it’s DARLING.  And there’s a giveaway at the end that is super easy to enter.

My 2 favorites from the collection follow, but head to the post to see it all!

LADIES, PAY ATTENTION WHEN I SAY THIS.  I feel like this might be one of my favorite tees I’ve ever owned.  YES, IT’S THAT GOOD.  I love all 4 colors for different reasons, and I cannot pick a favorite.  If you love it as much as I do, maybe you even consider buying 2.  If you can only buy one thing in the collection, I would buy this tee.  

It gives great coverage of your upper arm (I know lots of you want that!), and the relaxed fit is flattering and comfortable. I’m wearing a medium, but I feel confident that my regular size small would have been just fine in this tee.  Still, I don’t mind the way the medium fits, so I’m keeping it!

And yes, the bag is to die for.

embroidered top (plus size HERE!) / beaded tassel earrings / bracelets / slide sandals / frayed hem denim shorts /  circle straw bag with raffia tassels

This rickrack off the shoulder number is my 2nd favorite.  I sized up to a medium and definitely needed the room in this one.

It’s a crinkly gauze, so it will keep you cool on hot summer days.  The top stays off the shoulder, but the elastic is soft, so it’s still very comfortable.  I’m so excited to have this sassy little number in my closet and can’t wait to pull it out for girl’s nights out and date night!  If you’re going on a beach vacation, this one is a must.

My earrings are super lightweight and a great vibrant pink. And I’m of course wearing this strapless bra.

rickrack off the shoulder top (plus size here!) / earrings / bracelets / non distressed denim shorts / yellow slide sandals / rattan bag with tassel

Okay, that’s it!  See y’all back here tomorrow for Part 2 of my Bachelor Recap!

And don’t forget to link up with Shay for What’s Up Wednesday!!!  Our sweet friend Mel who has been doing this link up with us for years decided to retire from blogging last month, which is why we have a new graphic.  We will miss her, but she encouraged us to continue doing the link up!  I’ll start participating again as soon as Bachelor season is over.

Filed Under: The Bachelor 19 Comments