If you missed the Season Premier recap, click HERE.
I mean, COME ON!
They’re in a convertible and there’s a film crew in their face….let’s exercise a bit of caution and take the 2.3 seconds it would take to BUCKLE UP.
But even more upsetting than that…..do none of these girls keep a rubber band on their wrist like any self-respecting girl with pony tail length hair should?
Come on girls. I expect more.
When dating Ben, you apparently always need to be prepared for a ride in a convertible.
Now, I know I would freak out, but Lauren, you fly the friendly skies FOR YOUR JOB!
I feel like Lauren should have been passing out peanuts and offering Ben a cocktail.
But me in the same situation?
But I’m all, WAIT.
Isn’t that Caila’s hot tub?
I guess having Kevin Hart soaking in it naked last week is the equivalent of
“You break, you buy it.”
And let’s be real, buying a free standing hot tub is probably a good investment for ABC. It was probably done on the advice of their CPA.
You can tell that Ben is totally smitten with Lauren, and to be honest, so am I because she seems cute and normal.
They go to dinner and seem like a for real couple.
They each talk about the love they have for their families, and I can definitely see these two together.
They then get treated to a private concert by somebody I’ve never heard of.
Meanwhile, back at the house Caila is crying.
Why? Why is Caila crying?
She said she’s just beginning to process that “this is kind of a different dating situation”.
NICE OF YOU TO JOIN US CAILA.
Caila, I’m not sure if you took a wrong turn without knowing it, but you are on THE BACHELOR.
She went all super sonic on us and talked in an octave that only dogs could hear.
Still, she’s cute, and I like her.
But if you think she’s upset now, just wait till she finds out that he took another girl to their hot tub.
The group date card arrives.
Amanda, Haley, Jennifer, Shushanna, Leah, Amber, Lauren H., Olivia, Jamie, Rachel, Lace, and Emily
Date Card says: Love is the goal.
That’s right girls, it’s time to play soccer.
Harrison shows up, breaks the girls into teams, and lets them know that the winning team gets to go to an after party with Ben. And the losers will go home.
It’s Stars against Stripes.
And it’s a TWIN OFF because the girls got separated!
Maybe it was just edited this way, but Ben looks like he is totally pulling for the Stars to win for the entire game. Rachel went down with an injury and one of the twins (your guess is as good as mine) was some sort of goalie prodigy.
I’m not even exaggerating when I say she could be the greatest goalie of our time.
Besides our gifted goalie, nobody could really play.
And Rachel was injured…or faked an injury….whatever. Nobody is judging. I can pretty much guarantee that I would fake an injury in a similar situation.
But let me just say, when you combine their soccer hot pants (two points for the wardrobe team on those babies) with Rachel’s position right there, I hope she prepared properly.
The LOSERS headed back to the mansion and Shushanna carried Rachel into the mansion.
Like, by herself. She just cradled her and carried her as if she was holding a toddler.
Me thinks this is part of her Russian descent showing off.
Back to the stripes date with Ben…they are of course on a rooftop.
In a total surprise move (J.K.), Olivia steals him away first.
And in a total B move she takes him up to a hotel room and then on to a balcony that looks down on the other girls and is all “Hi, Girls.“
This is the perfect opportunity for everybody to snicker about her….wait for it….toes.
Apparently Olivia has some funky toes.
One of the twins thinks it’s ridiculous people are talking about her toes, but she does want to put it out there that “Her boobs are fake and her breath is horrible.”
In a total B move of her own, Jami feels like she should probably go ahead and tell Olivia what the others are saying about her. She lays it on the line by telling O that all of the girls are talking about her body.
Olivia is like, my calves? My cankles?
And she’s like “nope, your toes.”
And then Olivia nods in agreement and is like “My toes. Yeah, I don’t like my toes.“
Olivia is a gorgeous girl (jury is still out if she’s crazy or if it’s just creative editing), and I know that most of us ladies just wish our toes is what we didn’t like about our bodies!
But I’ve gotta say, now I AM DYING to see her digits.
Let me go ahead and take a little time to give a very important public service announcement here.
FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING GOOD AND HOLY,
DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT GOOGLING “WEIRD TOES”.
You’ll have trouble sleeping at night.
I’m telling you, you’ll never be the same again.
Ben gives the rose to Amber.
And I know you’re worried about how Olivia is going to handle this.
But don’t worry girls, he pushed off on her leg when he got up so she feels confident that he still loves her. She then claims they have a secret language.
Sure you do.
The next 1:1 date card arrives.
What the date card says: Love is in the air.
Jubilee jumps up and practically does a herkie in excitement, winning her no points with the other girls. (In a completely unrelated note, the herkie was my jump of choice as an 8th and 9th grade cheerleader. I did not posses enough flexibility for a good straddle or enough strength for a pike. For the record, I could also do a mean front hurdler and table top…but I digress.)
Ben arrives to pick Jubilee up and she is acting SO WEIRD.
She’s annoyed that he’s late and she let’s him know it, and when asked if she was excited, she was just kinda like…”eh.“
When she sees the helicopter, she asks “Does anyone else want to go on my date?” , and like 18 girls simultaneously raised their hands and shot her a death stare.
Apparently this is breaking all sorts of Bachelor code.
Jubilee says that she is deathly afraid of helicopters.
WE’VE GONE OVER THIS A THOUSAND TIMES.
When filling out your Bachelor application, when it asks for your fears, I suggest something like this:
I’m seriously fearful of diamonds.
Louis Vuitton makes me cry.
Ball gowns give me nightmares.
Up in the helicopter they go, and they land at a health spa.
Which is ironic, since Jubilee admits that her favorite food is hot dogs.
She is, and I quote, “OBSESSED WITH HOT DOGS.”
That was just the beginning of the FULL ON AWKWARD during their date.
She calls Ben a white boy, spits out her caviar, tells him that he has a fake laugh, and I think at one point she comments on what she’s heard about his anatomy. But I’m not sure. I was confused.
They hop in the pool together, and I’m thinking the black box guy must have been napping, because we saw lots of her hiney.
Now, let’s take a moment to examine the white guy comment a bit further.
When in the hot tub, she explains that she’s glad that he laughed at the “white guy” comment earlier. He says, “I ain’t that white” and then does the thing where he sort of shimmies his shoulders up and down. And while doing so, totally cements his white boy status.
But when she makes a joke about his anatomy (at least, that’s what I think happened), this was
his face. It’s like he wasn’t sure if he should be flattered or mortified.
While at dinner, Jubilee opened up and told Ben that not only is she adopted, but she is the only surviving member of her biological family. I felt really sorry for her. You can tell she is kind of a mess (who can blame her), and I’m thinking The Bachelor isn’t the best place for her to be.
He gives her a rose.
Time for the Cocktail Party and Rose Ceremony.
It starts out very somber when Ben announces to the girls that two close family friends of his died in a plane crash that day. Poor thing. Can you imagine going through something like that and then having to go to one of these cocktail parties?
In a seriously weird voice (think part baby, part wicked witch) Olivia asked Ben if she could grab him to talk to him. I immediately think (as I’m sure the rest of the world does) that because of the closeness that she feels with Ben that she’s going to take him aside and try to comfort him in his time of need.
Well America, we were wrong.
Olivia pulled him aside, and I’m going to quote her here, because you can’t make this stuff up.
“Everybody has stuff on their body that they wish they could change. And mine, like waist down, I hate my legs. I hate them. People have written blogs that I have cankles. And I’m sorry (and it’s here she starts tearing up)…I try to be strong all the time, but it’s the scariest thing ever.”
1) I’d be lying if I said I didn’t panic and scan last weeks recaps to see if I mentioned anything about cankles. I did NOT. Whew.
I’m thinking this has to be some type of creative editing from the producers?
Because I have a hard time believing that she could really be this insensitive.
What exactly is the scariest thing ever?
TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES AND SHOW US THEM TOES!!!!
Jubilee walks up to Ben and his face absolutely lights up. I don’t really get it, but Ben clearly digs this chick! She gives him a massage, and the other girls are TICKED THE FREAK OFF. Ben however said it was “just what he needed.“
But here’s the deal, the girls would not stand for such an egregious breach of Bachelor code because SHE ALREADY HAD A ROSE.
So, Amber took it upon herself to confront Jubilee about her attitude and things the rest of them didn’t appreciate. So, basically, a bunch of catty girls wanted to confront Jubilee (who was orphaned by her entire family that died and then fought in a war) on how it isn’t fair for her to give Ben a massage when she already had a rose.
It suddenly seems silly, doesn’t it Amber?
In a shocking turn of events, Lace takes herself out of the
contest race quest for love, and Ben does nothing to try to convince her otherwise. He practically calls her an uber.
But don’t worry girls, this isn’t goodbye forever.
It’s just goodbye for now.
You know we are going to see this one pop up time and again on different bachelor shows.
Who gets roses:
Lauren H., Amanda (mama), Becca from Prince Farming’s season, Haley (one of the twins), Emily (the other twin), Rachel (soccer injury),
Olivia starts sweating a bit, and I’m like “Hey Olivia, THIS is what a rose ceremony is like.”
Consider yourself aware.
Caila, JoJo, Jennifer, Leah, Olivia
Girls going home:
Shushanna, Jami, and Lace
On her exit, Jamie declares “Don’t ever expect anything from humans.”
I think Jamie might be a glass is 1/2 empty kind of gal.
After the rose ceremony and exit interviews we got a sneak peak of next week with the whole crew going to Vegas.
Looks like Olivia has a good old fashioned fake panic attack, but she ups the anti by doing it in a showgirl costume.
And if you didn’t stay tuned to the very end, you missed what was possibly the best moment of the entire night. While in the hot tub with Lauren B., Ben tooted.
Okay, well maybe he didn’t actually toot (even though I kind of think he might have), but something made a sound and it sounded like he tooted.
I MEAN, HAVEN’T WE ALL BEEN THERE?!?
I can think of several instances where my shoe or a chair leg or something made a sound, and then I was all “Um, that was the shoe.” And then you try to recreate the sound…and each time you try to recreate the sound with your shoe and NOTHING happens the people you are with believe you less and less.
Yep, I felt ya Ben.
All right, that’s it for today ladies.
Now let’s admit it, who all googled “weird toes”.
I’ve got a couple of outfits for you before you go!
This outfit has the $34 cords in it and a new layered sweater that is currently available.
I didn’t get the sweater because it’s very similar to a Treasure and Bond one I picked up from the anniversary sale, but I thought some of you might be interested in it!
And the scarf keeps going in and out of stock, but maybe you’ll get lucky!
leather wrap watch /similar cognac boots
Size Reference: I’m wearing a small in the sweater and a 4P in the cords. I don’t normally wear a petite in pants, but the regulars in these were very long on me (I’m 5’4″). Readers as tall as 5’10” have said the regular fit worked on them in these cords!
And ya’ll…..THIS sweatshirt.
OH. EM. GEE.
It’s crazy comfy (it’s stupid soft on the inside), light weight, comes in lots of fun colors, and has fantastic reviews!
A reader even had this to say about it on facebook:
I have this sweatshirt in 2 colors and it’s my absolute favorite. It’s so soft and can look dressed up with boots and scarf but it’s really just a comfy sweatshirt. It’s the best. And one version of mine (last years) has pockets!!!! And the length is great too. – Megan B.
sweatshirt / earrings / arrow necklace / similar jeans ON SALE / slim profile UGG boots
For size reference, I’m wearing a small in the shirt (true to size) and a 6 1/2 in the UGG boots (true to size). These boots have been my favorite things to throw on for the last couple of months.
THIS sweater is 40% OFF!
I wore it to the mall last week with distressed jeans and my slim profile UGG boots, but I also think it would be cute dressed up with cognac boots, fun jewelry, and maybe even a gingham shirt under it?!? And how cute would it be for a kid’s Valentine’s Day party?
For size reference, I sized up and got a medium because the small was too tight across the chest. It’s really soft and has great reviews!
I ordered THIS top and just received it yesterday! I ordered this one in a medium as well (I often have trouble with buttons pulling on button up shirts).
I LOVE IT.
Click HERE for the top, it’s 40% OFF too!
I’m thinking it will be cute with blue jeans, grey jeans, and white jeans!
If you know a mom of child with special needs, please take the time to nominate her for the Special Mama Giveaway going on right now! The winner will be announced on Friday!