Tell your hubbies to sit tight, put the children on their ipads (Oh, I kid. Kind of.), and get ready to relive all the drama and awkward from Monday night!
If you missed the Season Premier recap, click HERE.
You want to make sure you are totally caught up on all the crazy.
As the show opened, I couldn’t help but wonder if Tara was at home making out with her chickens and if Breanne was stuffing gluten laden treats in her face. Let’s hope.
So this week opened up with girls smiling and screaming in unison “Ben, we’re coming for you” off a balcony. Only time will tell how many more weeks it will be until Ben is hanging over that same balcony and crying a la Jason Mesnick.
In the intro, the producers also “treated” us to a shot of Ben putting on his pants one leg at a time (he’s just a regular guy you know), but I could have done without the close up of his bright blue panties and man parts.
The girls are at the mansion and the 1st date card arrives.
What the date card says: Let’s learn how to Love.
Who is going:
Jackie, L.B., Lauren H., Becca, Amber, Mandy, JoJo, Jubilee, Jennifer and Lace.
I always love it when the girls act like they are excited when their named gets called for the group date. Girls, you’re not fooling anybody. We all know that you’re dying on the inside.
The limo full of 10 girls rolls up to a high school with a “BACHELOR HIGH” banner greeting them.
If this is going to be an authentic high school experience, I’m guessing there’s going to be some Strawberry Hill and Zima for the girls afterwards.
#sorrydad
#gottaloveBoone’sFarm
Chris Harrison is the principal and describes the curriculum for the day.
Fingers crossed the first class of the day schools Mandy on her pants.
Because NO M’AM.
Not now. Not in high school. Not ever.
In fact, I’m pretty sure half of these girls should have been sent home for dress code violations.
I’m looking at you Amber. Your shorts need to be below your fingertips young lady.
If the Bachelorettes were really attending class, here are some lectures that I think would be useful:
*Don’t Kiss and Tell.
*How to Sleep with One Eye Open.
*How to just act like you’re drinking so as not to make a total
jackwagon of yourself on National t.v.
*When to share deep dark secrets from your past to maximize making out potential.
*How to kiss when thrown up against a wall. (Taught by Arie of course.)
And my favorite:
*The Power of a Well-Timed Panic Attack.
So back to the “Bachelor High” date.
1st Period: Science.
The teams that make Ben’s volcano explode (pun VERY MUCH intended I’m guessing) will move on to the next class. Lace and Jubilee were eliminated, and I’m thinking it took everything Jubilee had to not pull her concealed weapon on Lace for reading the directions wrong.
2nd Period: Lunch.
They had to bob for the red apples and put them on his lunch tray without using their hands.
Lots of mouth jokes were said. Insert eye roll.
Jackie and Lauren H. were eliminated.
(Sidenote: those look like Red Delicious. Yuck. Only Honeycrisp in our house.)
#honeycrispordie
3rd Period: Geography.
The girls had to find a puzzle piece representing the state of Indiana and then place it on the map where it should go.
And y’all.
This is what Becca and JoJo did.
Junior high geography teachers everywhere were shaking their heads.
Listen.
If I had to do long division on national t.v., it would have ended up similarly.
4th Period: Gym.
Two teams left.
The first team that has both teammates make a free throw gets to move on.
Mandy and Amber won, but because there can only be 1 Homecoming Queen (I guess this is the season that does in fact have rules), the two remaining girls had to jump hurdles.
It was Mandy against Amber.
And Mandy SMOKED her. She jumped those hurdles and ran through the spirit sign LIKE IT WAS HER JOB.
So Mandy was crowned Homecoming Queen.
Mandy hopped in a convertible with Ben wearing a tiara and letter jacket, and they rode around the track while all the other girls shot her death stares and secretly wished she would fall out and sustain a concussion that would make continuing on with the show impossible.
That night the girls from the group date gathered with Ben on a hotel rooftop, because BACHELOR.
Becca takes him aside, they shoot some hoops, and Ben seems to be genuinely excited that she’s there (in between when he’s blaming his tight shirt for the fact that he keeps missing his shots).
She also basically tells him that she’s in it to win it.
Jennifer and Ben have some alone time and immediately start kissing.
And then she goes back to the group and tells them that they kissed.
Dang, girl.
Now everybody hates you.
Somebody wasn’t paying attention in class.
Lace goes and steals him away from the homecoming queen.
She starts with an apology for how she reacted the night before.
And her apology makes her seem even crazier and even scarier, which was hard to do.
Stop it Lace. Just stop it.
Jubilee comes and steals him away from Lace. She tells Ben that she is from Haiti and is adopted. And then they kiss.
And you know how she feels about that?
Jubilant.
I had to.
The other girls are back on the rooftop sofa and Lace is complaining how she hasn’t received enough 1:1 time. And everybody is HIGHLY ANNOYED at Little Miss Lace.
Well, Lace isn’t going to let the other girls get her down (NOBODY stops crazy), so she goes to steal him away again.
She walks up and says “I’m not crazy, I just need another minute.”
Here’s a tip: If you are legitimately not crazy, you will probably never start a sentence like this.
And it was then that I realized that I had left a very important class off the schedule:
*How to not appear crazy even when you clearly are. Taught by Kelsey.
Lesson 1:
NEVER say “I’m not crazy.” because it’s a clear indicator that you in fact are. Crazy.
Speaking of Kelsey….hurry Lace!…now would be the perfect opportunity for one of those well timed panic attacks.
Ben took JoJo to an even higher rooftop, and there was lots of hair twirling, some eye batting, and lots of kissing. She said she has “literally in her entire life never felt this happy before.”
I had a hard time concentrating on their date because I was just admiring her side boob.
Ben gives the rose to JoJo and her side boob.
The date card arrives back at the mansion, and Olivia is so sure she is going to get the individual date. And y’all, right before our eyes she transforms into a howler monkey
These were screen shots of her excitement at hearing the date card read.
I know.
I’m not sure what’s wrong with her.
Somebody should probably call a doctor.
Or a therapist.
Or the people at Guiness.
Well, Olivia did not in fact receive the 1:1.
And this was her reaction.
Quite the transformation.
Caila got the 1st 1:1.
The date card said: Join me for a day of surprises….
So Harrison shows up and let’s everybody know that the date is going to have a couple of guests.
And you’ll never guess who.
Seriously, you would never guess who.
Kevin Hart and Ice Cube.
Huh?
Well, they are HUGE Bachelor fans and just wanted to be on on the show.
Just kidding.
Their new movie Ride Along 2 is coming out….
so they are going to tag along for a ride along with Caila and Ben.
Kevin tells Ben that he should take Caila on a cheap date just to see how she will react.
But here’s the deal..NOT A ONE OF THEM IS WEARING A SEATBELT on the ride along!
Harrison! Take better care of your children!
SAFETY FIRST PEOPLE!
And girls. Be honest. Am I losing my ever-loving mind or is Caila wearing our beloved BP studs?
(Only white available now HERE.)
The”cheap date” ends at a hot tub store.
It was funnier in theory than it actually was.
That night they had an intimate 1:1 dinner that looks that it’s taking place in a quaint little Italian restaurant on the set of Sesame Street or something!
Caila is very well spoken and I like her a lot.
She gets a rose.
They walk up to a theater with their names on the marquee…and then get this….they are treated to a private concert.
I know.
Shocking.
#thisisafirst
Caila and Ben were cute together, but what was even cuter was that it seemed Ben was having a serious fan girl moment over Amos Lee. (Fyi: just like Caila, I had no idea who this guy was. However, I did like his music.)
The next date card arrives.
What it says: Are we a perfect match?
Who’s going: Emily, Shushanna (do we know yet if she speaks English?), Sam, Olivia, Hayley, and Amanda
The girls show up at a Love Lab.
Apparently, they are going to conduct several experiments to see who is best matched for Ben.
Gotta love Science.
First they do a retinal scan to see if their eyes stay longer on pictures of Sean or Ben.
Then they test pherimones.
And get this..they do this by making them work out….
and then having Ben smell them all.
No, I’m not kidding.
He had to sniff them.
I would have been mortified, but not our girl Olivia.
Olivia was strangely PUMPED. I’m thinking she was sure she was going to smell like a wife.
And you can act like the guy in the lab coat is not somebody they just grabbed off the street, but I won’t believe you.
Ben was throwing out words like “sweet” and “flowery”.
But then he got to Samantha and told that she smelled “sour”.
I would have DIED.
DIED!
I. WOULD. HAVE. DIED.
Then they had to sit on a bed….really close together but not making out….and they were going to watch the heat between their bodies.
I’d be all “SOMEBODY GET ME A BLARDIGAN!”
Olivia “wins” the group date with a score of 7.4. (poor Sam only scored 2.2) and this is how Olivia feels about it.
That night they have the cocktail party for their group date, and Ben steals Olivia away first and they kiss…..which garners this next reaction.
I mean. This is getting ridiculous.
Coincidentally, that’s how I feel when somebody asks me to go eat tacos.
#tacoface
Amanda finally gets to tell him she has kids, and he handles it perfectly.
And then they kiss.
I do want to take a minute to mention the jewelry on the show tonight.
The twins love them some Kendra Scott. At one point, one of them was wearing THIS dainty and sparkly Kendra Scott necklace, and one of them (don’t ask me which one) was wearing THESE big black stunners. Amanda was wearing Alex and Ani bracelets, and Sam was wearing a Stella and Dot engravable necklace.
And nobody was wearing THESE last night, but they should have been.
**********************************************
TIME FOR THE COCKTAIL PARTY!
Leah and Ben have a little bit of time together, but Olivia pulled him away (EVEN THOUGH SHE ALREADY HAS A ROSE), and everybody is HOT about it.
Olivia comes back to the group after her time and announces “Now, I’m done. Now everyone can have at it, and I hope you can respect that.”
Lace takes Olivia aside and tries to verbally spank her.
As if Olivia cares.
Nothing is standing between her and co-hosting E News with Mario Lopez Ben.
Lace gets some time on a balcony with Ben, and even though she scares me, she looks smokin’ in her dress. She starts telling stories (something about having bad bangs and nobody wanting to sit with her on the school bus?!?), and Ben’s eyes start totally glazing over.
And I’m all, “Lace, EVERYBODY has a bad bangs story.”
But seriously Lace, OPEN YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU TALK WOMAN!
I’m hoping Olivia might be able to mentor Lace in this area.
In a 1:1 interview, Lace is crying and says “The Lace I promised myself I would not be, came out.”
Sheaffer really hates it when people talk in the 3rd person.
The cocktail party continues, and Ben does a really great job making several girls feel special.
He gives Leah a picture of them the first time they met (which was I think around 27 hours ago).
He gives a 1st place ribbon to the Kn teacher for the biggest Volcano explosion.
And then, y’all, he tells Amanda that he wants to go ahead and start getting her girls involved in the process. And he had a hot glue gun, some plastic flowers, and some barrettes and they made barrettes for her girls together.
If that was really Ben that thought of that, well then WHOAH.
What a sweetheart.
If it was an intern, give that one a raise!
Time to start handing out those roses.
Who gets a rose:
Caila and Olivia already had roses.
Amdanda (mom of 2), Jubilee, Lauren B (flight attendant), Leah, Becca, Rachel, Lace (HUH? WHAT THE FRACK?),
He calls L.B.’s name and she asks to speak to him in private.
Homegirl can’t handle it and is all peace out.
He was very gracious about it, and I respected him for how he handled it.
The remaining roses went to:
Jennifer, Emily, Jamie, Lauren H., Shoshanna, Haley, Amber
Who goes:
Mandi (crazy dentist), Jackie, and Sam (smells sour)
Well, that’s all for today ladies.
I’m interested in what you think some other Bachelor 101 class titles should be.
Leave your ideas in the comments!!!!!
xoxo,
Sheaffer
Before you go…..I got this in my inbox yesterday….
LOTS of items are now up to 50% OFF at Nordstrom.
The jacket she is wearing below is 40% OFF HERE.
And I love the bright and cheery vermillion MK puffer found HERE.
And just FYI, THIS leather jacket that I talked about in the Joanna Gaines Told Me To post has now received RAVE REVIEWS from 3 separate readers. And it’s 45% OFF.
And THIS pea coat is now 50% OFF and under $30, make sure you order a size up.
Another item that has been further reduced are THESE skinny cords.
You can find the same brand (but boot cut) HERE (sizes and colors remaining limited).
I ordered a regular 4 myself in the skinny version, and they fit everywhere, but they were reallllllly long, which is great news for you tall girls. I immediately hopped online and ordered myself a 4P, so fingers crossed they will be perfect!
Click HERE to see my facebook post where lots of ladies commented on their love for these pants if you want to hear a little more about them.
Ladies even as tall as 5’9″ said these pants worked great for them!
Also, several colors of the Felicia flats are 30% OFF, but sizes and colors are going fast!
I’m thinking this happy pink would be so fun this spring!
If you remember, the Felicia flat ranks in at #1 on my comfort scale!
And look at THIS pair. Also 40% OFF, making them right under $90!
Okay, now I’m done.
😉
Erika Slaughter says
I don't even know where to start!!! Bless Sam's heart! Since she left, won't she always be known as "the girl who smelled sour" this season?? Oh! I feel for her!! And the long division statement made me laugh out loud!! I'd be in trouble if they asked me any kind of history question. My brain has no recollection of historical events-especially years!! I would have been whispering in my partners' ears hoping the camera couldn't pick it up though. Hahaha!
Mix and Match Mama says
Um, I was really into Olivia on night one…but she lost me this week. And the sniffing part grossed me out! I couldn't even watch!
She's a big star says
Completely agree about Olivia… she lost me too! I think she might be riding the same crazy train as Lace, she just might not be the Conductor (because, let's be honest, Lace has that role wrapped up!).
Sarah Kuykendall says
I knew you'd mention the side boob! Ha ha! I'm ready for girls to be eliminated so we can see dates that are a lotto more exciting that wearing a letter jacket and doing science experiments. Thanks for the recap!
Angela Pino says
Ohmygoodness, Olivia's faces…I can't even. I loved Ben's fan moment over Amos Lee, too, it was the cutest. You can see my recap here.
~Maggie~ says
Omg I laughed so hard I was in tears. I love, love your re-caps. Your taco face comment was the greatest.
On another note…I live right outside Waco and the other day I thought I had nailed a Joanna Gaines look and shortly later my husband told me I looked like I sold chain saws. ?
Sheaffer says
Ha! Leave it to the hubbies! I bet you looked DARLING! What does he know?!? 🙂
Narci says
lol ok! You've worn me down AGAIN!! I always say I'm not going to watch but then your recaps are SO FUNNY that I have to tune in. Also, #tacoface. Hahaha! 😉
Molly Kissel says
I agree with Mix and Match Mama . . . the sniffing part was totally awkward to watch. Even if Sam did smell sour, I would think a gentleman would come up with a better adjective! The part with JoJo was kind of sweet. Anyone else think she looks like Isla Fisher? How about "Nailing the 'This is Really Hard for Me' Speech . . . a Tutorial in Perfectly Timed Insecurities."
Sheaffer says
Molly! That's a PERFECT course title!!! I lol'd!
Love on the Lake says
I'm convinced Olivia is the secret love child of Steven Tyler and Cameron Diaz. But to your point, was raised by howler monkeys. #BigMouthFace And I TOTALLY felt like the little 1:1 restaurant was a fake Italian restaurant on a kids show too! It was so odd – like a cute, primary color pictures of food "faux" restaurant. Echo'd bythe fact that they never even faked eating the shiny bread on their plates.
Sheaffer says
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! Olivia IS the secret love child of Steven Tyler and Cameron Diaz!!!!! Laughing SO hard!!!!!
Anonymous says
OMG, the howler monkey comment may be the best thing ever!
Lisa G., McKinney,TX
Whitney and Blaire says
I definitely think there should have been a jump and straddle 101 class taught by Kaitlyn. The girls need to nail that skill before they start traveling! Ha!
xo, Whitney and Blaire
Peaches In A Pod
Sheaffer says
I feel so silly!!! How in the world could I forget the jump and straddle! Yes, a VERY important class at Bachelor University!!!
Dawn Dannenberg says
Oh my goodness! Your recaps are simply the best. I said the same thing about Olivia; we all know she is only after an E! News job, lol. Have you seen all the memes from Twitter about her open mouth? So funny!
Elizabeth Alexander says
If you are not an SNL fan, you HAVE to YouTube "girl you wished you hadn't started a conversation with at a party"… Watch and be amazed at how much Lace and Cecily Strong's character are!! Every time Lace speaks I can't help but think of it!
Emily says
Oh my gosh you totally nailed it!
Lauren says
I love your recaps! I'm suprised that you didn't mention Ben's hoodie/jacket combo from the group date that Prince Farming was also sporting on the Bachelor Live show. Is this a thing? Because it should not be!
Ruth Poat says
Oh my gosh….I thought Olivia was going to swallow me up right off my sofa every time she opened her mouth like that!!! And another thing, I think the reason why the girls get so angry and emotional is not because they're fighting for love….nope….it's because they're hungry, they're just plain starving…I never see them eat….not a single thing….ever!!! All that delicious food just gets left on their plates untouched during the dates. It distresses me almost as much as watching Lace not open her mouth to speak.
Meg Hodges says
When Olivia made those faces-all I could think was; "I can't wait to see what Sheaffer says!!!!!"
Full Time Wife Life says
First thought when Olivia made that face: "I REALLY hope Sheaffer saw that!!!" haha! Good job 🙂
Chelsea says
I was so excited to wake up this morning and read this. It makes the Bachelor even better! If I was Sam, I would have just lost my mind right then and there. Sour! AH!
Anonymous says
Between your commentary and everyone else's comments, I am just DYING!! I haven't laughed so hard in forever. I have been stressed this week and totally needed this so thank you!!!
L R Gavilanes says
#honeycrispordie in my house too! Who eats Red Delicious?! Thanks for the laughs 🙂
Hanging with the Hirsts says
Your Bachelor recaps are just the absolute best!!! I just can't stop laughing when I read them!
Mother Henn says
Is it normal that I don't watch The Bachelor, but live for your recaps?!?!
kelly says
Me too! Haha ! Schaeffer is hilarious!
Peggy Bowes says
Ok, this is unrelated to the Bachelor, but who wears pumps with cords???? I am often puzzled by the Nordstrom online stylists' choices.
Anonymous says
Lol! I thought the exact same thing!
Elizabeth P says
Hilarious recap. I was depending on you because as an Alabama grad I was watching the National Championship game Monday night. Sorry Ben and ladies, you don't win in a battle again Nick Saban and his boys. 🙂 Thanks to your recap I'm all caught up. Good stuff!
Rachel Werts says
Roll tide!
Paige Lombardo says
Get ready because I'm pretty sure the previews so Olivia with the perfectly timed panic attack! Thanks for the morning laughs!
Stacey says
Am I the only one that thinks Olivia looks a little bit like Cameron Diaz? Just a little more "I'm a crazy person and I will eat you and your entire family" than Cameron Diaz though…http://newsliteimgs.s3.amazonaws.com/100820_diaz.jpg
Anonymous says
I said she looked like Cameron Diaz to my daughter as soon as she stepped out of the limo.
Sara Glomski says
Yessss! I told my friends you would 100% post pics of Olivia's ridiculous mouth. Howler monkey! How did she get it so open? And I noticed the side boob too. Jealous. Just a little correction, at the rose ceremony, he gave the printed picture to Lauren B (flight attendant) of them first meeting, not Leah 🙂 🙂 Love your posts!
Kelsey @ The Peacock Roost says
Hilarious!! Totally agree on Olivia. She & her mouth are just too much! Oh Sam, I felt so sorry for her! Even if he thought one of them smelled bad I think he should have said only nice things. How embarrassing especially since she went home this time! Lace is off the crazy train. Right now I like Jojo & Becca the most!
GinaZ says
Mandy won that hurdle contest because her legs were about as long as Amber's entire body. Also, let's talk about Amber for a quick sec. Maybe it's just me, but she gives me the sads. I just feel sad (and slightly embarrassed) for her. I BARELY remembered her from Chris' season when she showed up in Paradise, and then to come on AGAIN?! Oh, honey. I'm convinced Becca saying "oh, Amber's here too!" on night one is the only way Ben knew her name. I just wish she'd give it up with the Bachelor and try to find someone in a normal way….not that THIS isn't TOTALLY normal, but you know…. Amber- this is your 3rd time, and so far it's not going GREAT. Time to hang it up… especially because I think Ben is just too nice to have sent you home the first two weeks.
Also. Mandy's pants. Agreed. As soon as she walked out in those I was like "NOOOOOPE!"
Thanks Sheaffer- I look forward to your blogs every week. Love them! 🙂
gina says
Love your recap! That group date excericing and sniffing was too much…..hated that! Feel so sorry for Sam. Really wish he had given her the rose instead of Crazy Lace. Howler Monkey…ha!
T. Cashion says
I quit watching The Bachelor several years ago because it just became too ridiculous; but having read your first recap and nearly laughing myself crazy, I decided to watch last night's episode. Your recap of the episode is so entertaining, I think I will continue watching just so I can enjoy your version!!!
Brian, Lesley and Luke says
'Howler Monkey' Dying. #nailedit Hilarious! ??? I had to rewind it to show my husband her giant mouth. And it seems like she tries to make it bigger for effect. #stopitnow #notagoodlook
Madison says
Not sure if anyone has said this already but he gave the picture to Lauren B, not Leah!
Leah McPherson says
I love your recaps! Literally laughed out loud at #tacoface. I was really into Olivia night one but I'm totally losing interest. And you left Jojo out as already having a rose at the rose ceremony. 🙂
Rachel Werts says
I absolutely love your recaps. Hilarious. But I was wanting to know if you're going to do any loft posts soon? I've got Christmas money burning a whole in my pocket
Sheaffer says
Hi Rachel! I hope to do a LOFT post sometime in the next 2 weeks! Fingers crossed I can get to the mall soon!!!! xoxo, Sheaffer 🙂
Chris T says
Please stop being so funny!!! I almost gave myself an asthma attack laughing over the pics and your comments of big mouth Olivia!…howler monkey haahaha .
April Parrish says
Always love your recaps and this one does not disappoint!!! And seriously Olivia's face is toooooooooo shiny…maybe you should recommend some foundation for her…PLEASE!!!!
Have a great day!!!
coco says
So, I just got the "Joanna Gaines" leather jacket and it is like buttah. Buttah, I say.
Chrystianne R. S. says
I'm sorry, but I could NOT hold it together while reading this recap! It was hilarious. At first I wasn't a big fan of Caila because she seemed like a nut who broke up with her boyfriend to come on the Bachelor. But girlfriend is extremely well spoken, plus she reminds me of Catherine. I am really hoping he keeps her around. In fact, I think she will be one of the final girls, along with the flight attendant. He seems totally smitten by her. Can't wait for next week! 🙂
Kelly Rogers says
How about the "How to flirt with your principal" class. #Chrisharrisoncutie
Kristin says
Your recaps are what I look forward to on Wednesdays! Honestly, I was watching the Bachelor and going "I wonder how Sheaffer will recap this!" Olivia's open mouth had me laughing for a good 5 minutes. I hope she watches this show and slaps herself how for she looked on national tv. #ibetsheregretsit
Happylife38 says
It's really annoying to me when people talk about themselves in the third person. Lace does this constantly. She said things like "it's either go home now and he'll never know who Lace is" and "I don't want him to see this Lace". Then she tells him "I'm a lot to handle". Girl, we know. Every conversation makes her sound nuttier. Producers gold!
Happylife38 says
Amanda gives me a Michelle Money vibe. She seems very sweet but her borderline baby-voice is a little annoying.
Williamson's says
This is going to sound crazy– but take away the howler monkey-esque faces….and I think Olivia looks so much like Shay!!! Same pretty eyes… I thought it at first and then many more times. Girl is crazy as crazy gets, but she is really pretty (when her mouth is not catching flies).
Loved your recap 🙂
Wilona Karimabadi says
I just want to tell you–you're recaps are hysterical. I don't even like to watch the batchelor, but i'll read your recaps any day!
E says
I bought the cords per your recommendation and OMG! I love them! They are just one of the things that I've purchased and loved based on your posts but since it was recent and I'm already wearing them today, I wanted to say Thanks! And now I know I need to catch up on my Bachelor too based on your recap.
Lori says
Your recaps are so much better than the show. My daughter and I totally look at each other and state "that will be on the recap"! Keep up the great work Sheaffer. I am sure you boost their ratings and should get a kick back or something!
Aislin says
I LOVE your recaps! I laughed so hard I am crying. This is not the look I was going for before having to pick my oldest up at the bus stop!
Anonymous says
At first I did not understand why you bought Carter a blardigan, and I was slightly annoyed because my order for the same item was cancelled. I ended up getting one and now I TOTALLY get it! Ever since I bought it my 4 year old son has insisted on sleeping with it every night. I wore it the other day around the house and he freaked out because I was wearing the sweater that he sleeps with. The nerve! Girl, I need a blardigan sale. Mama needs hers back ASAP!
TSB says
OMG! #tacoface? Stop it! Just stop it right now! I laughed so hard I was crying!!!
Helen Truesdale says
I was a little late watching the Bachelor episode this week due to traveling. As soon as I finished watching, I grabbed my phone to read your recap. Ironically, the hubby and I just sat down at the table to eat tacos. I swear my taco fell out of my mouth because I was laughing so hard! LOVE your recaps and look forward to them every week!
Tracy Stegall says
I don't even watch the Bachelor but I love reading your recaps. They are hilarious and I would've died too if he said I smelled sour. I can't even imagine! I linked your blog up on mine, I hope that is not a problem. Thanks!
Maggie C. says
Loved everything about this recap! I think my favorite part might have been the shout out to Boone's Farm though! I haven't thought about that stuff in oh, about 15 years! Also, I felt bad for Sam that they read her score in front of everyone. They could've told Ben privately who had the lowest score (on camera of course :-P) to spare her the embarrassment.
KatyA says
What I don't understand is that since Olivia was a news anchor, shouldn't she understand how bad making that face looks on tv?! But your analysis of why she's on the Bachelor (E! news gig) made me say "ohhhhhh" out loud. Thanks for explaining it to me! 🙂
Paula says
#tacoface is way better than #obnoxiousface!
Paula really hates 3rd person too!
Advice ladies going on these shows…
1) watch prior and don't be shocked by "stealing" time during the date!
2) WEAR MORE CLOTHES! CLOTHES CAN BE SEXY TOO!
3) Fight the urge to drink so much!
Kami says
Seriously love your recap of the show! Hilarious! And girl, you're observant! Love your blog also! 😉