We’ve had two weeks off from The Bachelorette, so if you need a refresher on what went down, please click HERE. In a nutshell: too many guys were wearing skinny jeans, Wes finally got a little action (but was then sent home), James Taylor tattle taled on Jordan (although I’m sure that was a producer set up), and Jordan’s hair remained incredibly distracting. Oh, and JoJo’s boobs continued to be fantastic. Yep, that about sums it up.
SO THERE ARE 6 GUYS LEFT.
The show opened with JoJo packing up her Louis Vuitton carry on (#luggagegoals) in a a darling blazer with skinny jeans and knee high boots. They were going to be heading from Buenos Aries to the Argentinian countryside. To review, at the end of the last rose ceremony, it looked for a hot second like both Alex and James T. were both going home…but instead, they both got to stay because she asked for an extra rose.
Harrison showed up at the hotel room to let the guys know that there were 3 1:1 dates and 1 group date that week. There wouldn’t be any roses handed out on the individual dates, but she would have one to give out on the group date if she was inspired to do so. Harrison asked the guys how they were doing, and Alex didn’t understand that this was a RHETORICAL question. #shutitalex
Alex got the first 1:1 date. Alex – I Gaucho on my Mind.
Okay Alex, time to stop your whinin’, here’s your 1:1. They hopped in a car together for a countryside road trip, and it’s here that I want to make a booster seat joke about Alex, but I won’t. 😉 On their drive, they were eating road trip food, and I was shaking my head. I mean…where are the corn nuts? the Funyons? COME ON. If you’re going on a road trip, you need to commit. They were eating Pringles (not bad….but not a Funyon), they each made Pringles duck lips, and he got DENIED a Pringles kiss. #ouch Then there was a long silence. A looooooooonnnnnnnnnnnng silence. And JoJo let out an audible “Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” After the thumb war (yes, it was that bad), there was a whole lot of this…..
Right in the middle of the Alex and JoJo snoozefest, it cut to the guys on the bus, and OMG! They were having the time of their lives. They were beat boxing and rapping and it was hysterical. Do yourself a favor, take a sec, and click HERE to see their freestyle rap. I got so tickled thinking about how many times they probably had to practice it to get it just right!
When Alex and JoJo arrived at their destination, Alex was instructed to go put on his gaucho outfit. Don’t worry. I googled it. A gaucho is an Argentenian cowboy. You’re welcome. I was just happy the date wasn’t going to involve gaucho pants….because although I know they are making a comeback, I’m not willing to get on board. Alex emerged wearing a kicky little beret and knee high boots. It was unfortunate. When JoJo said something to the effect of “You make a cute little gaucho”, I knew he would never be her husband.
AND Y’ALL. While watching the real gaucho with his horse, part of me was in awe of their connection and thought it was beautiful. HOWEVER. The other part of me, the bigger part, thought it looked WAY TOO MUCH like the tantric yoga date. I felt a bit violated and needed a shower after that one. #getaroom #imeanafantasysuite
And then they snuggled the horse. Again, beautiful and creepy all rolled into one.
They went to dinner, and another completely rando dog wondered up to JoJo. Does she have bacon in her pocket or something? They seemed to have a good conversation at dinner, but then he told her that he thought he was falling in love with her. And she was like a deer in the headlights. More specifically, a deer in the headlights that doesn’t love a guy named Alex. So she sent him home. And she cried. Scratch that. She made crying noises, her voice shook, and she touched her eyes. Which is kinda the same thing.
Cut back to the party bus with all of the guys. They stopped at a roadside meat stand, and the stray dog on the side of the road literally wouldn’t eat the meat that the guys were eating. When the guys got to their next destination, I found myself liking James Taylor even more than I already did. I mean, look at him OWN his outfit. James, I get it. I’m all about comfy travel attire as well.
Still, I feel obligated to give major side eye to his monstrous tattoo.
The date card arrived and it said Jordan, Let’s toast to love.
Jordan somehow managed to not have to dress up or make out with an animal. Instead, the couple took a private jet to spend a day wine tasting. I mean, could the date be any more perfectly set up for our swoopy hairedbachelor? You know this guy wouldn’t have been caught dead in gaucho attire. They stomped the grapes a la I Love Lucy. JoJo jumped in his barrel towards the end of the stomping, which I was totally okay with. What I was NOT okay with was when she started rubbing her foot up and down his leg. What was that?
Then they drank the wine. Mmmmm. Yes, the wine’s bouquet was woody, with notes of flowers and stinky feet. Their words said it was yummy, their faces said otherwise.
They hopped in a hot tub together and Jordan told JoJo that he was excited for her to “meet his mama”. Which totally weirded me out. No. Just no.
At dinner that night, Jordan said he was going to tell her everything she needed to know about his family. And he totally threw his brother under the bus. He explained that they weren’t very close because of “how he (Aaron) chooses to do life.” Personally, all I heard him say was “we don’t talk enough to get comped Super Bowl tickets.” Ba-dum-ching! He went on to say how growing up he basically felt like he was always in his brother’s shadow. Blah, blah, blah. And then he said “I am SO in love with you.” And her reaction was basically the opposite reaction that she had with Alex. She was PUMPED. She said “that makes me so happy” and then planted a big ol’ sloppy kiss on him. And then Jordan got a second chance at a wall kiss. He kicked it up a notch by doing it on a set of stairs. Well done, Jordan.
Group Date: Chase, James, and Robby Let Our Love Soar
Back at the hotel, the guys got the date card. Chase lamented, “Why does Luke get that one-on-one? What does she want to do with Luke that she doesn’t want to do with me? Everything Chase, ev-uh-ree-thing.
The best part of this date is definitely JoJo’s simple (yet totally cute) outfit. I love a t-shirt, jeans, and booties. But she didn’t appear to have on earrings. Which is weird, right? I mean, why not just throw in a stud?
A big adventerous outdoor date had been planned for the group, but the weather made them have to switch it up, and they had an EPIC game night. I’m talking Pictionary, Charades, and Truth or Dare. First, James Taylor accepted a dare and shoved approximately 23,000 french fries in his mouth. Give or take. That’s just a regular ol’ Thursday night for me. You know none of the other guys would EVER shove that many carbs in their mouth. Which makes me feel sorry for all of them. #becausecarbsareawesome
They played a little charades, had a massage train (really), and then JoJo dared Robby to strip down to his undies and run down the hotel hall. Robby acted all embarrassed and shy, but PUH-LEEZ….he was dying for a chance to strip down to his skivvies. I did think he was cute when he was all “Sorry, Mammaw.”
After Robby went streaking, our boy James was feeling a bit insecure again. So JT started telling JoJo how Robby had been checking out the Argentenian ladies. And it was obvious how much it annoyed JoJo. Which is weird, because correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t she actively making out with 6 guys at the same time right now? Pot, meet kettle.
On the group date, she had some alone time with Robby first. He confided that he dated his last girlfriend for three years, but he NEVER saw her house. And I’m thinking that maybe he was dating a Stage 5 hoarder or something. He then told her that they even though they broke up only about 4 months ago that he’s totally ready for a commitment. #redflag
Next up, alone time with Chase. He remained STOIC. Does this guy EVER smile? He said “I really really like you a lot and don’t want to lose you. I 100% want to bring you home.” And then they mugged down.
And finally, she got some alone time with ol’ JT. He opened it up with his concern that she seemed to have more of a physical relationship with the other guys. She calmed him down by saying that she was confident in the sweet part of their relationship and that he had everything she was looking for in a husband and father. JT! YOU DO YOU BOO! She asked about his family and what his dad’s name was, and he responded that his dad’s name was Jim, really James, and that he himself was James Taylor Jr. Y’all. How funny would it have been if we all of a sudden learned that his dad was the real James Taylor. #iveseenfireandiveseenrain
The three group date guys were back in the hotel room, and every single one of them was saying how they were a frontrunner. If you would have started a drinking game where you drank on the word “frontrunner”, you would have been BLITZED after about 26 seconds. Robby was the King of the frontrunner talk.
And all 3 of them thought that they were going to get the rose. JoJo said she felt confident handing out the rose, and she gave it to Robby. And I’m not sure if you know this, but he was the frontrunner.
The 1:1 date with Luke included horseback riding and skeet shooting.
If I were our little gaucho, I would be feeling all sorts of ticked off right now. I mean, Jordan got a private plane and wine tasting, and now Luke’s date was tailor made for him. The first thing I noticed was that JoJo was mixing black and brown LIKE A BOSS. Black jeans, blue and black plaid shirt, cognac belt, and cognac boots. I liked it. #YESMAM
Luke showed himself to be part cowboy and part collegiate philosophy professor. They rode horses and I’ve gotta say, these two looked great together. I could totally see them living on some sprawling ranch, riding horses, and making little horse-riding babies. When JoJo asked him if he was ready to take her home, he said ABSOLUTELY, and she told the camera that she could easily picture a future with Luke.
Another surprise of the night…no cocktail party and straight to the rose ceremony! So, remember that Robby already had a rose and Alex already went home. Who else got roses? Luke, Jordan, and Chase. Which meant that my boy James Taylor was going home. Whahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I will say, I thought he started off strong, but these last 2 episodes his doubts about himself really interfered with my views on him. I like a confident man!
JoJo walked JT out..AND GUESS WHAT…there were actual tears from JoJo. Like water came out of her eyes. And if we’re being honest, some snot came out of her nose as well. If like me, James left you feeling less in love with him than you were in previous weeks, just watch his ig video from last night HERE and fall in love with him all over again. I mean, there’s no doubt that this guy is now primed and ready to land a girl back home. He’s going to make some girl very happy!
That’s it for the recap! Next week is HOMETOWN DATES!!!!! Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeee! If you’ve got a second, I’d love for you to leave a comment with your favorite…or maybe your least favorite…part of this week’s episode! Sometimes it helps to talk about it. 😉 Oh, and this is completely unrelated, but last night I checked to see if the embroidered top I talked about on Monday had been restocked. Sadly, it had not. But check out THIS embroidered keyhole tank! It’s DARLING and fully stocked! It would be so cute with THESE WHITE JEANS (on sale) and MY CORK WEDGES (still on sale)!
I’ve got IMPORTANT NORDSTROM ANNIVERSARY SALE NEWS!!!!
Okay, ladies. Please remember to come back tomorrow for my Nordstrom Anniversary Sale coverage! I’m actually shopping the sale TODAY (I KNOW!!!!)…so tomorrow you will get me in real life pictures! I will have information on sizing and comfort and MY VERY FAVORITE FINDS (so far) will be highlighted tomorrow. Also, make sure you are following me on facebook HERE and instagram HERE, because I hope to post a couple of sneak peeks tonight!
My post will go live tomorrow morning at 5:00 a.m. CST. Get ready to have some fun!