It’s so fun seeing what everybody is up to, so make sure you check it out!
So let’s get straight to what everybody came here for today! The Bachelorette recap!
Click HERE for the recaps of the previous 5 episodes if you need to get all caught up.
The episode opens up with the cocktail party that started last week.
Ian had just sat down and started to make a total jack-hole of himself.
He’s really deep.
This isn’t a vacation to him.
It’s difficult for him to hang around guys making poop jokes.
He didn’t come here wanting to meet the girl wanting to get her field plowed.
He feels Kaitlyn is just wanting to make out with lots of dudes on t.v.
He sees her as a surface level person at this stage.
He doesn’t think that they are there for the same reasons.
This is how Kaitlyn (AND AMERICA) feels about the whole situation.
Our eyes were all glazing over and none of us could believe THE NERVE!
She says “I’m super offended by you”.
He ends with “and that’s what I have to say.”
And she ends with “You feel good about that.”
He then “takes himself out of the competition” and heads straight to the van.
More ramblings from Ian in the van:
He’s too much of a deep a thinker and too self aware.
He went to Princeton and that’s what he has to offer.
He also feels like he’s being punished for being intellectual.
No dude. It’s because you’re a jack-hole.
I wish the van would take him right to #kraziinakardikelsey’s front door, because
these 2 are made for each other.
Ian then says this, “If I was made the Bachelor, I think girls would come out of the wood work.”
Oh reallllllllllllllllllllllllllllly Ian?
I would have to respectfully disagree.
And then he says, “Oh man, I need to have some sex.”
Oh man, I need a puke bag.
All the other guys sit around talking about Ian leaving, but Nick heads straight up to see Kaitlyn to hopefully console her. And he’s wearing a bow tie. And bracelets.
Lots and lots of bracelets.
And then he nibbles on her finger.
I don’t even know.
Kaitlyn finally joins the guys and tells everybody that Ian just went home.
Harrison walks in wearing a cranberry colored suit, and I find myself both confused and strangely proud. Is Harrison really rocking a cranberry colored suit?
Because I think he is.
They head to the rose ceremony, and the Alamo is their backdrop.
How did this get approved?
I feel like somewhere in San Antonio, the PR director at the Alamo is being handed a
pink slip as we speak.
Whose going home?
Joshua (mohawk boy)
Justin (I don’t know.)
The whole group gets told that they are going to Dublin, Ireland.
And I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Dublin is the perfect place to fall in love.
And get sloshed out of your mind.
They get to Dublin and Kaitlyn shows up at their hotel.
She announces that the 1:1 date is happening immediately, and then drops the bomb that it’s with Nick.
And Gosling’s head explodes.
Nick had 10 minutes to get dressed, so he threw on a pair of sensible green jeggings.
Nick and Kaitlyn explore the streets of Dublin.
She announced that she “wore a holey sweater so he could touch her back.”
Um, okay then.
They dance an Irish jig of sorts.
And they make out all over Dublin.
It is SUPER obvious that Kaitlyn is drinking the Nick Kool-Aid.
They end up at Christ Church Cathedral in Dublin.
And as they are walking into the church, I’m thinking THIS SHOULD BE A MUGGIN FREE ZONE.
Harrison? Shouldn’t you tell them to keep their paws off each other for just a bit?
They are making out. Again.
And once again I find myself SO ANNOYED at the sound guys!
Can’t you turn down the volume?
We don’t need to hear everything!!!!
Kaitlyn says, “Nick makes me feel like a woman. A desired woman.”
And I’m all, that’s funny, Nick makes me feel like I need to shower.
She kisses him below an archway and then straddles him in the streets, which confuses me because I feel like that is generally the trademark move brought out only during hometown dates.
But then I remember, seasons now have NO RULES.
If you can do “IT” with a guy only 1/2 way through the season,
then you can certainly jump and straddle pre-hometown dates.
Let’s take a look back at the ol’ jump and straddle with Kaitlyn and Prince Farming.
She then invites him back to her room.
They make out some more, and she jumps up and straddles him in the streets.
Back in the room they mug down on the couch for just a minute, but it takes no time for them to move things to the bedroom.
And of course we don’t SEE anything, but they are DEFINITELY doing the Big Wiggle in there.
(“Big Wiggle” is a term coined by my Young Life leader in high school. Hysterical.)
Yes, it seems that the field is definitely getting plowed.
The next thing we know, Nick is doing the walk of shame, and Kaitlyn is on her balcony with a big ol’ grin on her face.
PANIC sets in.
Oh wait, that’s Jason.
This is Kaitlyn.
But let’s be clear. She not feeling at all guilty about what happened behind closed doors…..but instead, she’s just concerned about how it will make the other guys feel if they find out.
I’m no relationship expert, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say it will make them feel PISSED.
She continued to hang over her balcony railing and wonder out loud about if Nick was going to share their tryst with the rest of the guys.
I’m feeling like this should have been a conversation she had with him before he left.
Like, “Hey Nick, pinky swear you won’t tell any of the guys?”
Cut to Nick back at the hotel and everybody asking him how their date was.
He very casually tells all of the guys that “it was intimate”.
So, he doesn’t spill the beans, but he definitely alludes to the extra-curricular activities.
To all future contestants:
AFTER a 1:1 DATE, WHEN THE OTHER SUITORS ASK YOU HOW THE DATE WAS, SIMPLY SAY “IT WAS OKAY” as you SHRUG AND TILT YOUR HEAD.
Give NOTHING away.
The Group Date Card Arrives.
What it says: A super long poem that sounds like it’s talking about death.
Who: Tanner, Ben Z., Shawn, Jared, Ben H, Chris
They go to an “Irish wake”.
It was weird.
The interns at ABC need to have more brainstorming sessions, because
this idea is not one of their best.
Kaitlyn climbs in a coffin, acts like she’s dead, and the guys have to eulogize her.
She chooses to wear a black dress with lace sleeves and statement rings galore.
I however want to be more casual for all of eternity.
Can you guess what I want to be wearing for eternity?
I’m guessing 99% of you guessed THIS, and you’d be right.
There’s really not much to say here.
They all said some words, and then this guy came back in and played a little jig.
Several of the guys then got some alone time with Kaitlyn.
After their time together, Gosling declared that he was sure he was getting the rose.
But Jared got the rose, and Gosling was bumfuzzled.
Kaitllyn and Jared were then treated to a private concert by The Cranberries.
And I think it’s definitely worth noting here that this might be the first time I’ve ever actually known the artist/band giving the private concert!
It’s right about here where Gosling starts to melt down.
Get your head in the game Gosling! Pull yourself together!
It shows him talking to a person who I guess is his handler (the way I understand it, each person on the show has their own personal handler), and he’s telling him that he just doesn’t know if he can take it anymore. He confides that there was apparently some night that he and Kaitlyn stayed up talking for hours (I think he said 7 hours!) and that during that time she told him he was THE ONE.
I’m all “WHAH? WHEN did this happen Gosling? SPILL!”
And then I got to thinking.
Maybe Gosling is sooooo upset because of the fact that perhaps he too has already done more with her than just talk? It’s purely speculation, I obviously have no idea.
But it would explain his strong feelings.
So, he heads to her room to talk to her.
I wish I could sit her down myself and give the ol “Who wants to buy the cow when they can get the milk for free” talk.
She answers the door and is completely taken aback. She assumes he is there to talk with her about Nick….but we all know that he really doesn’t know yet.
Once again, TO BE CONTINUED.
Before you go, a handful of random shopping items ALL ON SALE:
Price Matching and SALE:
asymmetrical stripe tank 40% OFF HERE
trina turk dress 40% OFF HERE
lush hot coral blouse 40% OFF HERE
green off the shoulder blouse 40% OFF HERE
men’s sneakers (40% OFF) HERE
kid’s sperry’s 40% OFF HERE
board shorts 70% OFF HERE
mascara 40% OFF HERE
AG stilt cigarette jeans 40% OFF HERE
THESE wedges from TOPSHOP.
The sales girl told me that they can’t keep them in stock.
That implies that they have been re-stocking them, so everybody can keep their fingers crossed.
Aren’t they cute?
While strolling by the lingerie section last week at Northpark, there was an entire display table set up showing THESE pajamas.
I’m so mad I didn’t take a picture of the entire table, because there are so many pieces to mix and match. Here’s the TOP and BOTTOMS I picked out.
That’s it girls!
See you back here on Friday!!!!