So this week might kill me dead. Two nights of Bachelorette is enough to do a girl in. Today you are getting the recap of Monday’s episode. And on Friday you will get a mini recap of Tuesday’s episode. If you missed the recap of episode 1 and 2, click HERE so you can get all caught up! I’m going to be honest and tell you that I kind of feel like Wells did last week. I was just going to try my best to not die while watching 4 hours of this crazy. #goals
Before we get to the recap, I have a Father’s Day gift guide for you. Nordstrom reached out and asked if I would highlight some watches for Father’s Day. I think watches make a really great gift, so I was excited to sort through the ones that they have that are currently available! A watch is often a great price point for a really nice gift (Nordstrom has some VERY NICE WATCHES), but today I’ve focused on those between $100-$200. Still, a very nice gift, but not one that totally breaks the bank. And I love that a watch is something that dad will potentially wear each and every day, and think of his kiddos and you each time he puts it on! Yep, I think it’s time to let dad how much you love him! 😉
If you prefer picture links, just click on what you are interested in!
On Friday’s post I have some other Father’s Day gifts ideas for you as well! I still think THIS is the best you can give the hubby/dad in your life (and it’s 10% OFF right now). On Friday, I’ll talk more about why Chris loves it so much, but I wanted to mention it today since it’s 10% OFF and I’m not sure how long the sale lasts. It has 9/9 5 Star Reviews, and people that have it absolutely love it.
OKAY! TIME FOR THE RECAP!!!
There are 3 dates this week made up of two 1:1 dates and one group date.
1:1 – Let’s Get Physical with Chase
JoJo and Chase met up at a Yoga studio. But not just for regular old yoga, because this is The Bachelorette after all. It was for
nasty hot yoga. The room was cranked up to 110 degrees, and I don’t know if there is anything in the world that would be less appealing to me. My hubby always says I have a 3 degree range of comfort, and I can tell you that 110 degrees is about 35 degrees out of that comfort level. I would literally start STRAIGHT UP PANICKING, and my eyes would be scanning the room for the thermostat and my exit route. (I would also like to point out that this is either the 2nd or 3rd nasty yoga date. I feel like this should be our quota.)
It was time to start the yoga. And I’ll admit, I’ve only done yoga once, but I don’t remember it being like this?!? The instructor told them to lay there, pulse their pelvisis (what is the plural of pelvissis? pelvi?) up and down, move their heads from side to side, and shake their hands. Oh yeah, they were also supposed to scream. Then they had to strike different poses together. Hot. Sweaty. Poses. #nothankyou
After that, JoJo was basically instructed to mount Chase. Y’all. I would be DYING. D.Y.I.N.G. And then they started kissing. IS THIS ALLOWED? TEACHER? IS THIS EVEN ALLOWED?
That night they “ate” dinner, she gave him a rose, and they heard something in the distance. What was it? Could it be a private concert? YEP! Once again, I didn’t know who was singing… although I thought it really looked like the guy from Lady Antebellum. And I LOVED the song! And then I realized it was the guy from Lady Antebellum! I love this guy! I didn’t know where the rest of his group was, but I was a fan.
Back at the house, this was happening. And I literally had NO WORDS.
Group Date Card: Love Has No Secrets with Jordan, Grant, Wells, James F., Christian, Ali, Daniel, Nick, Evan, Alex, Chad
About .3 seconds after the date card was read, Chad immediately declared that he would just rather not go on the date. And as you can imagine, this did not go over well with the other gentleman suitors. While all sitting calmly on the couch together, a WAR OF WORDS ensued. It’s Chad vs. Everybody. Ding Ding Ding!
Jordan made some dig towards Chad saying that if he did end up going on the group date he should hope the competition was a “bench press competition and not a spelling competition”. And several of the guys giggled at the zany dig. But Chad immediately replied by calling him a “27 year old failed football player” and things immediately got awkward. I’m not sure what all was being said, because so much of it was bleeped out….but I did hear phrases like “try me bro!” (what does that even mean?) and “you wanna go?” being thrown around. Then at one point, Alex couldn’t think of a comeback, and he literally said “What wha what wha wha wha what?“. Good one, Alex. To wrap it all up, somebody said “Well, that escalated quickly” and I lol’d. I kind of felt like I was watching an after school special.
A majority of the guys were acting completely ridiculous during the entire couch exchange, but Chad definitely stood out as THE MOST RIDICULOUS of the bunch. When thinking about Chad, I have a theory: He just needs to EAT A FREAKING CARB. I get it Chad, not having bread products makes me ragey too. On a different note, the veins scare me.
So the guys met JoJo at a local theatre. And there was a show going on called “Sex Talk” where different people got up on stage and told their stories. And you guessed it, the guys each had to get up and tell a story about an escapade from their past. And I pretty much refuse to say anything else about what the majority of the guys said. But I will say this, the parents of Grant’s 16 year old girlfriend just called her to ask her about that time she said she had to “take a couple of sleeping bags to the park for a school project”. #coverblown
Sidenote: is it weird that I was actually disappointed in the Bachelor franchise for this group date? Because I was. #shameonyoubachelor
So each guy got up on stage and awkwardly said a few lines. And then Evan got up. And he thought it was a good idea to make his stand up set about Chad and steroids. Raise your hand if you think that was a good idea. Beuller? Bueller? He talked about irritability, big veins, withdrawal, and rage issues.
As Evan was going back to his seat, Chad was called to the stage, and as they were passing each other in the aisle, Chad grabbed the back of Evan’s shirt and tried to rip it off his body. Probably not the best way to prove you’re not on steroids, but what do I know.
It was Chad’s turn up at the mic, and OH MY it did not go well. But I have to say, for the first time the entire season I respected Chad for the stance he took on this activity by saying he didn’t want to share any private experiences. THANK YOU, CHAD. So instead, he pulled JoJo up on stage, said something (I don’t remember what) and tried to kiss her. But she turned her head. OUCH. He was embarrassed and annoyed, and when leaving the stage he ended up throwing the mic. Awesome. That’s mature, Chad.
When they all headed back stage afterwards, Chad sucker punched the METAL door (causing his knuckles to bleed) and then pointed his finger very aggressively in Evan’s face. Again dude, not making a great case for the I’M NOT ON STEROIDS argument.
Daniel actually went against his work out buddy and took up a bit for Evan. Chad muttered something about how “if he didn’t get to lift weights he was going to murder somebody”. You know what they call that Chad? PRE-MEDITATION. #exhibitAyourhonor
JoJo had time that night with each of the group date guys, and it seems that they were in an antique store. Somebody correct me if I’m wrong. While sitting with all the guys, the barber (with the buzzed chili bowl…go figure) started poking the bear. I have two words for Chili Bowl and all of the other guys that aren’t Chad: RISE ABOVE. Guys, have you learned nothing from this show? Don’t be a tattle-tale and just do your own thing!
Sidenote: I’d like to declare this season of The Bachelorette THE SEASON OF THE TINY LEATHER JACKET. One year it was man scarves, one year it was colorful hoodies, this year it’s x-small fitted leather jackets.
When Evan had his time with JoJo, he issued an ultimatum: if Chad stays, he would go. DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!! Well, JoJo ended up giving Evan a rose. While sitting with the group, Chad responded with “You’re actually vibing this dude?” JoJo responded with “Yeah, and I don’t appreciate what you’re doing. Don’t be disrespectful. I don’t like this side of you.” You go, girl.
Back at the house, the guys were expressing how they were fearful of Chad, and they literally called in security to hang around and make sure that Chad didn’t go bonkers on anybody.
Chad and Daniel sat down together and had a little chat. But more disturbing than Daniel’s political chatter (Hitler, Mussolini, Trump, and Bush were all thrown out there within about 25 seconds) was Chad’s choice of finger foods. Do you know what he’s eating right here? A sweet potato. HE’S EATING A SWEET POTATO LIKE A BURRITO. JoJo, if you can’t eliminate a guy for being a total jackwagon and having violent tendencies, you should draw the line at eating a sweet potato like a burrito. You MUST have limits.
Second 1:1 Date: Let’s Kick It Old School with James Taylor
They hopped in a vintage car, donned some vintage duds, and headed to some swing dancing lessons. James confessed that he is the worst dancer of anybody he knows. But I’m telling ya, what he lacks in dance skills, he makes up for in his willingness to try it and just have fun! JoJo nailed it when she said “his energy and his positivity is just so attractive“. Isn’t that true ladies? We don’t so much care about how good a guy is at something, but just that he’s pleasant to be around while doing it! James’s mama raised him right!
After their lessons they headed out to the street where there was a street full of swing dancers doing their thang. AND OH MY GOODNESS HE WAS DARLING. I literally found myself smiling from ear to ear during the date. His enthusiasm for life is absolutely contagious.
That night they hung out in a car overlooking the city and talking about their date. Jojo commented on James’s “zest for life.” And sweet James said, “I have a lot of bad things, but I DO have a zest for life.” He shared with her how he was made fun of as a kid and he’s always considered himself a bit of an underdog. She was so sweet to him, told him he was the whole package, and gave him the rose.
When James pulled the guitar out of the trunk, I have to say that my heart sank. I was like “noooooooooo! don’t sing the jojojojojojojo song.” BUT HE DIDN’T! He sang a sweet song (an original) about falling in love and it was actually awesome. He was so natural and easy with her and I just like him a whole lot.
The next day, Harrison showed up to the mansion with an announcement. There would not be a cocktail party that night. There would however be an all day pool party! As he was leaving, Evan followed him out and told him that he and the other guys were actually scared of Chad. I think Evan’s plan was that Harrison would have to ask Chad to leave. Instead, Harrison called Chad out to talk to him and told him he needed to figure out how to resolve the issues. Oh goodie, I’m guessing this is going to go over well. On the way into the house to “resolve the issues”, Chad mutters something about cutting off the guy’s arms and legs and throwing their torsos around. Call me crazy, but I’m not feeling optimistic.
See y’all back here on Friday with some current favorites as well as a part II of the recap!