If you missed the first 2 Bachelor recap posts, click HERE. I promise that you need to get up to speed on all the crazy. If you don’t remember last week, one girl resorted to almost eating her hair, just because she couldn’t stand to listen to the words that were coming out of Corinne’s mouth. That’s good stuff.
Sooooooooo….Grab your bowls of uniformly sliced cucumbers, ladies! It’s time for Week 3 of THE BACHELOR!
The night opened with the girls back at the house, chatting it up about the fact (not sure if you’ve already heard this or not) that Liz and Nick had wiggled previously. And then Nick showed up and told them that he had in fact wiggled with Liz. And I’m not sure if y’all knew this or not, but they met at Jade and Tanner’s wedding. He also explained that he had asked for her number, and she declined. He told all the girls if they had any questions, that they should feel free to ask.
Funny enough, I did have a question. But my question wasn’t about anything regarding Nick and Liz. My question was more along the lines of “Where did you get this tie? And more importantly…WHY did you get this tie?”
Now remember, the show opened up with the rose ceremony cocktail party (because apparently the Bachelor producers like to torture us on a consistent basis by delaying the rose ceremonies now.) So, Nick sat down with a couple of girls and chatted it up. Nothing to note, really. I will say, at this point I was 6 minutes into the show, and I found myself WILDLY disappointed. WHERE WAS CORINNE? WHY WASN’T SHE ON CAMERA LOSING HER MIND?
Just as I was typing that sentence, the cameras cut to Corinne in her room where she was hatching a plan.
Step 1: Put on a trench coat. Step 2: Check self out in the mirror in said trench coat and try to decide what to wear under it. Step 3: Decide that wearing nothing under coat is an awesome idea. Step 4: Contact the folks at Reddi Wip and inquire if she can do dirty things with their product. Step 5: Declare that she wants to “explore each other sexedly.”
Sounds like a solid plan to me. Even with the grammar fail.
So anyway, the first 12 or so minutes of the show was just standard conversations between Nick and the other girls.
BUT 13 minutes in, Corinne was in a trench coat and heels…wait for it…eating whip cream out of Nick’s mouth. She also did other things with the whip cream that I prefer not to mention. BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW HOW TO WRITE WORDS ABOUT IT.
I think I might have blacked out for a bit. Because it was all too much. This is how I felt watching the Reddi Wip scene go down. I was disappointed in Corinne. And her parents. And her nanny. And mankind in general.
After participating in the whip cream shenanigans for a bit, Nick told her nicely to tap the breaks. (Sidenote: Nick, you would have received A LOT more points from me had you done this a few moments sooner. You know, before you licked it off her body.) So he told her to basically slow her roll in a sweet way, saying that he didn’t want her to be in the middle of a terrible situation with the other girls. She was devastated, and she headed back to her room in tears.
Then it was time for the rose ceremony. Nick immediately noticed that Corinne wasn’t in attendance. And this annoyed our Bachelor. At first, I was annoyed too, but then I decided to give her a break when I realized that it was quite possible that Nanny Raquel hadn’t made Corinne drop her afternoon nap yet. And we all know that messing with a child’s sleep schedule can REALLY jack with things. #blamethenanny
I did find myself wondering, isn’t this uncharted territory? I mean, has anybody ever missed a rose ceremony? I also found myself thinking about how sticky Corinne must have been under that trench coat. Because of Carter’s constant requests to play PIE FACE, I now know that Reddi Wip tends to linger. #thankshasbro
Who got roses: Astrid, Taylor, Whitney , Kristina, Danielle L., Rachel, Vanessa, Raven, Jaimi, Dominique (WHO?), Sarah, Alexis, Brittany, Josephine, and Jasmine
Who didn’t get roses: Hailey (a.k.a. the I’m not wearing panties girl), Elizabeth, and Lacey
I will say, I’m pretty upset about Hailey leaving. WILL WE NEVER KNOW why she has a bobby pin tattooed on her wrist? Somebody please leave a comment and enlighten us.
Harrison showed up the next morning and announced that the Bachelor team had outdone themselves on this week’s dates. He also threw some shade at Corinne asking her if she was well rested. He dropped the group date card on the table and sauntered out of the room as quickly as he had come.
Who is Going: Danielle L., Christen, Kristina, Whitney, Taylor, Jasmine, Corinne
What the Date Card Says: Everybody
Alexis read the 1 word on the date card…”Everybody”…. and all the girls were confused…until they heard music fill the sunken living room….”EVERY-BAHHHHHH-DEE-EEE….YEAHHHHHHH-AHHHH….ROCK YOUR BAHHHHHHH-DEE-EE” and they collectively LOST THEIR MINDS because The Backstreet Boys were in THE HOUSE!!!!!!!
Was it cool, YES. Does Rock Your Body immediately have me singing along to it? YES. But let’s be honest, *NSYNC would have been the real score. #becauseTIMBERLAKE
So the ladies were taken to a sound stage. They all had a couple of hours to learn their dance moves because they (along with Nick) were going to be back up dancers at a small concert they would be performing in that night . And Nick was wearing this awesome color blocked tank top. #ihopeyoudetectedsarcasm
Sidenote: Liz saying “I slept with Nick at Jade and Tanner’s wedding” is sooooooooooo last week. This week Corinne’s “I’m a bad dancer.” line is the one that’s going to make your ears bleed by the end of the episode. I will say this, Corinne was right. She is in fact a bad dancer.
Jasmine and Danielle looked pretty comfortable with the moves, and some of the other girls were holding their own. But not our Corinne. She said “I don’t feel pretty, cute, confident, or fun…I just feel uncomfortable.” So she ran to the bathroom to cry, but she told the camera she’s not a cry baby. #ummmmmokay
All right, girls! Put your booty shorts on and get ready to ROCK YOUR BODIES because BACK STREET’S BACK ALL RIGHT!!!!! (And please tell me you sang that instead of just reading it. Because whether your allegiance lies with *NSYNC or the BSB, you cannot NOT sing “Back Street’s Back ALL RIGHT! It’s like a rule.) I would also like to point out here that all of the ladies are wearing chokers. Which I GET IT…are “in” right now. But I’m sorry, I cannot get on board. #latetothechokerparty
The boys picked Danielle as the “winner” and they let her know that her “reward” would be a solo dance on stage with Nick as they serenaded them and the whole world watched. I’m obviously using the terms “winner” and “reward” loosely here, because this is the stuff that nightmares are made of. My armpits started stinging just watching it.
At the group date cocktail party, Corinne pulled Nick aside first. #SHOCKER She apologized for her whipped cream escapades, her napping, and her dancing skills. She actually said she was not good at “planned dancing”, which Nick pointed out is called “choreography”. The nanny really should schedule some time for vocabulary development in their day. Just a couple of flash cards every day could go a long way.
Corrine took another quick nap (seriously), and then joined the other girls back at the party. And this is where she made an error in judgement. She told the other girls that she has a nanny. She admitted that she doesn’t make her own bed, she doesn’t wash her own clothes, and she doesn’t make her own lunch. Jasmine spoke for ALL OF AMERICA when she was like WHAT THE ACTUAL FRESH HELL. Sorry for the profanity, but I felt like the situation called for it. Corinne responded with “It makes her happy, and I’m not gonna mess with her happiness.” She then told the camera that she misses Raquel and is tired of doing “big girl stuff”. Y’all. I literally can’t even with this girl. I felt like Kristina did when she first learned about the Nick/Liz escapade. #dontknowifyouheard #butnickandlizmadeout
Danielle got the group date rose.
Who is Going: Vanessa
Date Card Says: You Make Me Feel Like I’m Floating
So, what does this mean? Well, they were going to try their hand in a zero gravity simulator of course. Okay, so I would have automatically been all PEACE OUT, FOLKS. I get nauseous if I whip my head around too quickly while standing firmly on the ground. I KNOW MY LIMITS. But Vanessa was just glad they weren’t sky diving, so she put on a suit and hopped in with reckless abandon. I will say this, her hair looks PHENOMENAL in zero gravity. I fear my bangs would not fare so well in the same conditions.
BUT. Vanessa was not able to defy gravity for long before she turned green. She had to stop to puke a couple of different times. Nick was super sweet as this was happening, but did anybody else think he was sitting STRANGELY CLOSE? I swear he wanted to see the puke come out of her mouth. But no worries, ladies. They still kissed after she puked. #ew #stop
Vanessa rallied, and they went to the tallest building in L.A. for dinner on the roof top. And my goodness, Vanessa was SMOKIN’ HOT. She was wearing a black dress (of the short and tight variety) with a leather jacket thrown on top. Click HERE for a similar faux leather jacket (with fantastic reviews) that is ON SALE for ONLY $59.90.
She told a story about how her grandfather died recently, she got a red rose at his funeral, and she felt like he was there with her because of that. Nick ended up crying a bit during the date, and it actually seemed sincere. I think our playboy really might be ready to settle down.
And fyi, on further inspection, I think THIS might actually be her exact jacket! What a deal!
Group Date Card
Who is Going: Rachel, Alexis, Astrid, Jaimi, Sarah, Brittany, Dominique (WHO?)
What is Says: I’m Done Playing The Field
A couple of the girls were excited because they thought it was going to be something athletic and/or sports oriented. And they were right. Three Olympic athletes trotted up (Carl Lewis, Allyson Felix, and Michelle Carter) and told the girls they were going to be participating in a Nickathalon to win Nick’s heart.
Purely fyi, after watching the first event and seeing all of the bouncing, I can state with absolute certainty that Astrid’s boobs are real. And they’re fabulous. #namethatshow
After competing in several different areas, 3 girls moved on to the next round. Rachel, Alexis, and Astrid had to run in a 300 meter dash and grab a fake ring, and the gold medal winner would get hot tub time with Nick. You know, kind of like the real Olympics. Rachel crossed the finish line first with ease, with Alexis a close second, and Astrid coming in last. I have to believe that her boobs flopping all around slowed her down. But in the end, Rachel was unable to get a firm grip on the ring…it fell to the ground, and Astrid scooped it up.
That night on the group date, Dominique (STILL. WHO?) started to self destruct. Nick bid her adieu after she started acting all sorts of needy in front of him, and Rachel (who was just happy to be out of the house) got the rose.
Nick decided to cancel the cocktail party (oh no!), but he scheduled a pool party instead (hooray!). And y’all, the girls brought their A games. And by A Game, I mean super skimpy bikinis. All the girls arrived in their teeny tiny “swimsuits”, but Corinne wasn’t there yet. Was she napping? Actually, she wasn’t. I’m guessing she was on the phone ordering the princess bouncy house that randomly showed up on the driveway. After all, that was how her nanny always made her feel special. And if it was good enough for her, it was good enough for Nick.
The girls paraded around in their suits, and Raven made VERY sure that Nick was appropriately SPF’d.
Corinne beckoned Nick inside the bouncy castle, and Nick said “I love how fun and playful Corinne is”. But just so you know… “fun and playful” is code for “horny and horny”. Then she mounted him in the princess bouncy house. Because she’s fun and playful.
After the public mounting in the bouncy house, lots of girls started voicing their concerns about Corinne to Nick. Corinne wasn’t there to stick up for herself, because it was time to go down for her 3:00 nap. I mean, the bouncy house took it out of her.
So several of the girls let it be known that they weren’t fond of Corinne….blah blah blah….that Corinne had a nanny….blah blah blah…..and that Corinne didn’t even know how to clean a spoon. What does that even mean? And then Nick had 1:1 time with Vanessa. And I’ve gotta say, I have mad respect for this girl. She said “I’m not judging Corinne, I’m judging your actions. It was enough for me to question if you are looking for a wife or just somebody to play around with.” PREACH!
We are left on the edge of our seats (once again), and have to wait until next week to see the rose ceremony. However, as the credits rolled, we got to see Josephine “singing” to Nick. And it was somethin.
Okay…a couple of fashiony (act like it’s a word) things for those of you that couldn’t care less about The Bachelor. Corinne’s psychotic break at the beginning of the episode awakened my desire for a classic trench coat. I’ve never owned one, but I’ve always loved how chic they are! Click HERE for this one that is NOW ON SALE! I kind of feel like I need one. If I end up getting it, I will of course choose to wear clothes under mine. #yourewelcome
And randomly, here’s a little collage I threw together. An outfit for Valentine’s Day (don’t you want to look cute at your kid’s school or on a lunch date with your friends or hubby?) with lots of darling pieces..ALL ON SALE.
I ordered the jeans for myself, and they are DARLING. However, they arrived in a 26 (even though I ordered a 27). I hopped online and immediately ordered the right size, and that’s when I saw they were ON SALE…and that’s when I decided to create an entire collage around the jeans! I also happen to own the booties (the most comfortable booties EVER) and the glitter studs. And I love them both.
So the white watch is already sold out, but check out THIS gold and silver scalloped beauty!
Get The Look For Yourself Here:
And here are some other shirts that would be great on Valentine’s Day…several of them are on sale as well. Just click on what you are interested in!
See y’all back here on Friday for a really great Friday Favorites I have planned! I have a fun event to attend this weekend (Lowe Co is turning 1), and I’m going to have ya’ll vote on which outfit I should wear! The VIP tickets are sold out, but general admission tickets are still available. Shay got a big group of our girlfriends together, and we are going to make it a girl’s night out. Hope to see you there!