The Best Boy

I feel like it’s been so long since I’ve posted, and besides a quick sale collage last Wednesday, I’ve been soaking up family time. We spent Spring Break at the ranch, and it was wonderful. We kicked off the week with a couple of families (our friends/neighbors), we were there with just our little family for the middle of the week, and then some of Carter’s best friends (they’re twins) came with their family for the end of the week.

It was much needed friend and family time for us, but now it’s back to reality.

And back to reality without our sweet Buddy is not a place we ever wanted to be.

We miss him terribly.

We’ve made some progress, but we’ve done this before, and we know it’s going to take quite a bit of time.

So many of you have reached out, and we’ve been so appreciative of all the kind words and all of the prayers. Goodness knows we needed the prayers, so thank you.

I wanted to dedicate an entire post to Buddy, so that is what today is all about.

There have been lots of questions about exactly what happened to Buddy, so I’m going to share everything around his appointments and diagnosis. So many of you have also expressed concern for Charlie and wanted to know how he is doing, so I’ll talk about that as well.

In addition to some of the logistics of everything that happened, I’m also going to share tons of pictures. And when I say tons, I mean TONS. I haven’t counted them, but I’m sure this post has over 100 pictures.

Let’s start by telling you all what happened….

If you don’t want to know the details, please feel free to just scroll down to the picture tribute. I know the pictures will put a smile on your face.

We had well-visits scheduled for both Buddy and Charlie on February 26th.

We took them both in at the same time, and they both had the full work up with physical exams, vaccines, and blood work.

At that appointment, we shared with the vet that Buddy had very recently lost interest in eating his regular dry food, but he was more than willing to eat people food (we were feeding him things like boiled chicken, rice, watermelon, and blueberries). She said there was nothing during his physical exam that would indicate why he wasn’t wanting to eat, so at that point she thought it was probably behavioral but would let us know if his blood work showed anything.

She called us the next day with results from the blood work. Charlie’s blood work came back perfect, but the blood work showed that Buddy was mildly anemic and had hypothyroid issues. She asked a ton of questions at that time, but with the answers we gave her she didn’t seem too concerned, so we weren’t concerned at that point either. She sent us home with medicine for his thyroid and we had plans to check those levels after a month of medication.

We also went ahead and made a follow up appointment for the next week so she could check his anemia levels again. Chris took him back on March 5th (exactly a week later) and they took blood again. At that point, Chris shared with the vet that Buddy had started having some diarrhea. Buddy had experienced a similar issue a couple of times in the past, but both times it cleared up pretty quickly cleared up with medicine, so she put him on some meds to hopefully help his tummy issues. He took the meds for the next several days, but the tummy issues continued to get worse. Friday night he woke us up 6 times during the night to go outside, and each time he went just a tiny bit. We decided on Saturday morning that we wanted to take him back in (luckily our vet has Saturday morning hours), so we called and got an appointment. He ended up throwing up Saturday morning as well before we went in, so we were thankful to have made the appointment.

The vet switched diarrhea meds on Saturday (March 8th), gave him a shot for nausea, and also sent us home with nausea meds just in case the shot didn’t do the trick. Our vet did recommend during Saturday’s appointment to do an x-ray to make sure there wasn’t some kind of stomach blockage, so we had that done at the office. She said she would call us after the radiologist read the x-ray, but she wasn’t sure when that would be since it was the weekend.

Sunday morning he seemed so much better, (regular poop and no more diarrhea) so we were so happy! He still wasn’t interested in his regular dog food, but he was happily eating food that we were preparing for him. His energy was still low, but we were still very encouraged and hopeful that he was on the road to recovery.

However, Sunday afternoon the vet called after talking to the radiologist and had some not great news. She let us know there was a mass on his spleen and that he had an enlarged liver. She recommended at that point that we get an appointment for an ultrasound so we could know exactly what we were dealing with. She said she would call to make a referral on Monday morning and hopefully somebody would be able to get us in.

We did lots of reading and praying on Sunday. At that point we were hoping for a hematoma or a benign mass on the spleen and thought we might have to do a splenectomy.

So that was Sunday, and we went to the animal hospital for an ultrasound on Monday (March 10th). Expecting we might have to do a splenectomy and that Buddy might have to stay at the hospital for a couple of nights, we went and checked Carter out of school so he could come with us. We knew he wouldn’t want to come home and find Buddy not there.

They saw us right away, and Buddy hadn’t been gone from the room for long at all when the vet came in and gave all 3 of us the terrible news. Buddy had advanced stage hemangiosarcoma. 💔 Hemangiosarcoma is a very aggressive cancer, and the ultrasound showed that Buddy wasn’t a candidate for surgery or treatment. We were of course devastated because we were ready to do whatever we needed to do to help our boy.

The way it was described to us is that the cancer inside of his body was a ticking time bomb. The vet very lovingly told us that she understood that it was hard to look at Buddy and understand how sick he really was. She even shared that he was wagging his tail when he went in to get the ultrasound, but that the very large tumor on his spleen and the many tumors covering his liver told a different story. Basically, he might present as “okay” until the very moment that he wasn’t okay, and he could start bleeding out. A situation like that would be very painful for him and of course traumatizing for us to see him like that and in pain.

The option was given to us to put him down at the office, but we really wanted to take him home.

She gave us a Japanese herb to give him to help guard against a catastrophic event happening at home, but they of course couldn’t promise that it would be prevented. We took him home with us on Monday and did nothing but shower love on him. We knew we had to make decisions, but it was really hard to do so when he still looked like a happy dog. Yes, his energy was low and he wasn’t acting totally like himself, but he was still our Buddy and we weren’t ready to let him go.

We did more reading and read story after story of other owners that felt like we did, like they weren’t ready to let go quite yet. However, there were many heartbreaking stories of dogs that did end up having a type of catastrophic event, and we of course didn’t want that to happen to our guy.

So we loved on him like crazy all day long after getting back home on Monday, and we made a pallet to sleep with him on the floor. At that point, he wasn’t interested in jumping on the bed, and we were afraid we might hurt him if we lifted him on to the bed, but we wanted him to be as close to us as he wanted to be all night long.

None of us slept much on Monday night (we were all so nervous about how Buddy was going to be throughout the night), and when we got up on Monday, we immediately started loving on him again. Poor Carter had to go to school that day (he had missed Friday because of an illness and had missed Monday to accompany us to the animal hospital), and he had tests to take since it was the end of the quarter. I have no idea how Carter made it through Tuesday except that we prayed him through it. While Carter was at school, Chris and I went down and talked to our neighbors (who are also dear friends). They are dog lovers as well, and they sadly had put a beloved dog down about a year or so ago. They had used a service that came to their home after another sweet set of neighbors had used them for their dogs, and they had both been pleased with the experience.

We wanted to know exactly what that looked like, because we wanted to decide as a family what we thought the best decision was for Buddy. I called the service that both of our neighbors had used and learned that the only opening they had for the next week was for Wednesday (the very next day) at 10:30. At that point, we weren’t ready to commit to that, so I didn’t schedule an appointment at that time.

However, after we talked with Carter that afternoon, we decided as a family that we wanted to do it at our home (vs. in a doctor’s office). We also decided that we definitely wanted to use the service that our friends had experience with, so I called Peaceful Pathways back and scheduled Buddy’s appointment for the next day.

Every single minute leading up to that appointment was filled with us telling Buddy how much we loved him, snuggling him, singing to him, and feeding him all of his favorite foods. On Monday when we arrived home from the hospital, Chris went straight to the grocery store to get him a steak and went back the next day to get more. Steak was Buddy’s favorite, and we wanted his remaining moments filled not only with his favorite people, but also with his favorite foods. He happily ate ribeye’s, watermelon, and Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla in his last days.

Tuesday night we made another pallet on the floor so we could be as close to Buddy as possible. Nobody got much sleep though, because we were of course worried sick about him. We had decided that Carter wouldn’t go to school on Wednesday and that he would stay home with us all day so he could spend every last second with Buddy that he could. We all woke up at 5:30 on Wednesday morning and again, did nothing but love on him all day. We even took him on one last walk as a family.

In some ways, it felt like 10:30 came super fast, and in other ways it felt like we had lived a lifetime that day.

Dr. Pearson and her assistant came to our home and sat with us and Buddy for awhile. She asked us lots of questions about him, and we asked her lots of questions too. I wanted her to reiterate to Carter that this decision we were making was actually a loving decision, and that it was the very best way to take care of our boy. She again explained to all of us the aggressive nature of this cancer, and she made it very clear that allowing him to go before a catastrophic even was actually a very loving thing to do.

He ate some more steak, and then she gave him the anesthesia that she said would make him very sleepy probably within 5 minutes or so. He was sitting with all 3 of us, and during that time we prayed over Buddy, we sang to him, and we gave him more kisses that I could count. He was just looking at us the whole time. He knew how much we loved him. He did get very tired, and we helped him lay down. We continued to love on him and pet his precious face. We were with him in his very last moments. He was comfortable in our home, and he didn’t look scared at all. I think he had to have known that we were taking care of him. He definitely knew how much we loved him.

It was without a doubt the hardest thing we’ve ever had to do as a family, but I’m proud of how we put Buddy first and loved him with every fiber of our beings until the very end.

I of course questioned if I should share all of this very personal information, but reading the stories of others definitely helped us during our journey, so I hope our story will help others as well.

Now for a tribute to Buddy in pictures…

I went through hundreds if not thousands of pictures on my phone and wish I could share every single one, but I did my best to “narrow” it down.

I hope while looking through these pictures you will see how well loved this boy was. He really was such a good boy.

We got Buddy and Charlie back in July of 2017 when they were 8 weeks old.

If you were around then, you’ll remember that Carter thought we were only getting 1 dog, but Chris and I had been scheming behind the scenes and decided that we were going to get 2! We didn’t tell Carter until we were there picking up Buddy, and I will say that sharing that news with him was one of my favorite memories of my entire life.

Here was our first picture as a family of 4. That’s Buddy on the left and Charlie on the right. We were all absolutely over the moon.

I mean, come on! Look at those cute puppies and the smiles on our faces!

From the very beginning, the puppies were alike in so many ways, but they were also very different. Buddy was always a little more mischievous and a little more apt to find himself in precarious situations.

But these two furry guys were the very best of friends from the get go. We had read that sometimes it wasn’t always a good idea to get litter mates, but these two were inseparable from the start, while also immediately bonding with us. Getting the two of the time at the same time proved time and time again to be the perfect decision and such a blessing for our family.

Not only did they play well together, but they were almost always snuggled up together while sleeping. They really did have such a special relationship.

One of the differences from the very beginning was that Buddy always sat like this, straight on his hiney. He did this his entire life. Charlie didn’t ever sit this way, but Buddy always did.

Charlie was no doubt the better behaved dog (always was), but Buddy won the award for BEST SNUGGLER. You will see on today’s post how much he loved snuggling his people.

He was our snuggle bug.

I can’t even tell you how many times I would walk in the room to find scenes just like this one. He loved snuggling with all of us, but he had an extra special snuggling relationship with Carter. His head was often times right on top of Carter’s.

They were always touching.

As an only child, these two were like brothers to Carter.

And one of their absolute favorite things was being at the ranch together.

All 4 of my boys loved their time together at the ranch.

Every single time we would start packing up in McKinney to head the ranch, the two furry guys somehow knew. They would LOSE THEIR MINDS until we got them in the car. Buddy was always leading the LOSING THEIR MINDS charge by running around in a frenzy and barking his head off. It always drove us all crazy, but now we’d give anything to see that again.

Gosh they loved the ranch.

And there’s no doubt that these three grew up together.

 

This is SO BUDDY.

The boy had no boundaries. 😉

Charlie is the one of the two that always was rolling on his back for belly rubs, but over the years, Buddy learned how to benefit from a good belly rub too.

These two were never far apart.

Neither were these two.

And they were always close by in the kitchen. Always hoping to get a special treat. They were such good boys. I can’t recall them ever grabbing any food off the counter, and they would almost always just sit and wait patiently.

And my goodness did they love their walks.

They were both VERY particular about their daily walks. They liked to eat dinner between 3:00 and 3:30, and then the liked to go on a walk immediately after. Typically by 2:57 they would be in somebody’s face letting them know what time it was. And no surprise here, Buddy was the most demanding of the two.

One of Carter’s biggest regrets with Buddy is that he felt like he didn’t spend enough time loving on him. I feel certain that the pictures in this post will make him realize that isn’t true at all.

Carter rarely passed by Buddy without kissing him on the head, giving him a pat, telling him how cute he was, saying “look how happy he is”, or laying down with him for a snuggle. Carter loved Buddy so well.

And Buddy loved him right on back.

Their friendship was truly special. It brought me so much joy to see how much they loved each other.

Buddy was such a handsome dog.

We can’t remember exactly when, but at some point, Buddy developed this black freckle on his tongue.

These two were hard to tell apart, but the black spot was very helpful when their mouths were open.

If their mouths were closed and they weren’t side by side, I often had difficulty figuring out who was who, but Chris knew most of the time, and Carter almost always knew.

We also joked that Buddy had a Black spot, a Bigger Butt, and that he was always the one that would Bark (although he didn’t actually bark that often aside from getting ready to go on a walk or hop in the car to head to the ranch).

Just look at that black spot, that sweet little head tilt, and that smile.

Signature Buddy.

Buddy saw snow several times in his life, and we always loved taking them out in it.

I tell ya, this furry guy never doubted our love.

And just to be clear, we NEVER posed them like this. They just loved being together.

Like together together. As close as possible. Most of the time touching.

Whoever was sitting on the end of the couch (like Chris is in the picture below) would be guaranteed to have Buddy hop up, walk over, and throw his body on top of them. Seriously, he would fall down on you with all of his might, let out a big sigh, and then become one with you. IT WAS THE BEST and it’s probably what we all miss about him the most.

And here’s the deal. Even if Charlie was sitting with one of us, Buddy would almost always come and throw himself into the middle of things. We always called him a big bully for that, but the truth is, he just couldn’t stand being left out of snuggles with his people.

Can you spot Buddy? That’s him sitting on his big ol’ butt 😉 (one of his signature moves) and looking quite a bit bigger than his brother. He was such a big boy. Always outweighed Charlie by about 10 pounds, even though they ate the same amount and got the same amount of exercise. Genetics, man. 😉

And I have to say, although the boys LOVE me and Carter, this guy right here is the one that they are perhaps the most loyal to. Chris loves his dogs big, and they feel that. I’m telling you, Chris could go out into the garage for 10 minutes, and when he walked back in, Buddy especially would give him a reception like he’d been off to war for years. Buddy was Chris’s biggest fan.

But make no mistake, they loved us all BIG.

And he was always down for a good time.

This was our Christmas card picture three years ago.

Grabbing a pic with Carter and the boys at the ranch was always our go to.

We think Buddy just got more and more handsome as the years went by.

If you were sitting in the recliner, you could always count on him to come up and beg for some extra attention. This was probably at 2:57 one day, “gently” reminding me that it was almost dinner time. His internal clock was spot on.

And this was our Christmas card pic two years ago.

Oh! This is another signature Buddy move right here.

Charlie never once got in the recliner, but the recliner seemed to be a “safe space” for our Buddy. He was definitely the scaredy cat of the two. Any unusual sounds would spook him, and he would take to the chair. Then he decided he liked the chair quite a bit, and we would find him here often.

This right here is another thing all 3 of us miss like crazy.

Buddy was known for his head tilt, especially when we were leaving the house and leaving him behind for some reason. He always would look at us just like this. It’s like he never understood why we wouldn’t take him everywhere with us.

And yet another signature Buddy move…

The last several Christmas seasons, this big ol’ lug absolutely loved to take the sparkly snowflakes off the tree. He wouldn’t mess with any of the breakable ornaments, but he loved the glittery snowflakes. Our tree was behind our couch, and we would first notice the tree shaking a bit, and then we would see Buddy round the corner trying to secretly stash a big ol’ snowflake in his mouth. He would sometimes try this move several times a night! Ha!

But of all of his moves, this was his best one.

When he would COVER Carter in his love.

They loved each other so so much and were brothers in every sense of the word.

Like I said, these three grew up together.

My 3 boys.

And again! Look at that smile!!!

These were taken just last November at their (and our) happy place.

These dogs were FURRY.

Chris groomed them himself, and it was one of their favorite things. He would brush them and then he would use the little trimmer/vacuum combo on them. YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE THE HAIR.

But when he would do a full grooming, Buddy would look like a puppy again! This was taken at the end of last year.

And this was our last Christmas card pic with all 3 of them…

This is a picture I will treasure forever. That golden sunset and our furry golden boy.

This picture was taken just a week before we started seeing changes in Buddy with his eating. This was the last time he hopped up on Carter’s bed. All 4 of us were up in his room one Saturday just hanging out and having the best time.

And these next pictures were taken during the last several days of Buddy’s life. We treasured every single second with him. That’s Buddy on the left.

Remember, one of the hardest parts of all of this for us was that besides his eating habits and his energy level looking different, Buddy looked like a healthy dog.

So so handsome until the very end.

On our floor palette all together.

It was so hard to try to smile and take pictures, but we knew we would want them.

I’m already so glad that we have them, although some of them are too personal to share.

The rest of these were taken on his last day with us.

My sweet friend Shara took this picture when she knew we were taking our last walk as a family. This was about 30 minutes before our appointment.

And this was two minutes before Dr. Pearson and her assistant walked through the door for our appointment.

This precious boy knew he was so loved until the very end. He was loved and prayed for until his very last seconds with us, and I’m convinced that he knew it.

Buddy Sims, we will love you forever.

And since Buddy’s passing, I know that many of you have very sweetly been worried about Charlie. We’ve been very worried about him too.

We wanted to give you an update letting you know that Charlie is doing much better than we thought he would. For the first couple of days he wasn’t very interested in eating, but with lots of verbal praise and close proximity to us during meal times, he is now eating much better.

We can definitely tell he is sad at times, but he’s getting extra love and extra walks from us. We are doing everything in our power to make sure that Charlie still feels connected to us.

While at the ranch over Spring Break, we took lots of sunset walks with our Charles.

I shared this picture on Instagram, but on our first sunset walk, we noticed the golden dot on Charlie’s chest in the picture. We felt like it was a sign from our big guy that he was still with us.

And then several days later I was grabbing a picture of Carter playing football with his friends. When looking at them later, I noticed the golden dot again. And this time you can follow the beam of light all the way from the sky straight to Charlie. I know when people are hurting that they look and search for signs, but we again felt like this was a very loving sign sent straight to us from our big guy.

He will be with us forever.

If you’re still here after this VERY long and loving tribute, that’s a testament to how much you loved Buddy too.

Our heartfelt thanks to all of you for your kind words, your sweet messages, your love, and most of all your prayers. I read so many of the messages to Chris and Carter, and they brought all of us such comfort.

Now go and give your furry family members a big hug. They are such huge parts of our families, and they deserve the world.

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