The Bachelorette Episode 4: That Time Gold Hot Pants Were Burned Into My Brain

Have you been reading this season’s Bachelorette recaps? If not, take a minute to catch up! If you remember last week, David’s nose was broken and his face was fractured. WHO did that to him, you ask? Well that would be gravity and his pal, the floor.

Last week ended before the rose ceremony. So let’s pick up in the middle of last week’s cocktail party and jump into The Bachelorette Season 14 Episode 4, shall we?

The Highlights

Becca and Blanke returned to the scene of the crime unfortunate incident and had a conversation about kids and kid’s names.  Blake said he wanted 3-5 kids (says the guy who has zero kids! ha!), which gave Becca pause… but they both agreed that they like boy’s names for girls.  Becca likes Stevie for a girl, and Blake likes Charlie. It was a sweet little convo, but for the record, I hope ?Blake wins the name game on this one.

And get this girls.  Zoolander was wearing an angle collared shirt WITHOUT A TIE at the rose ceremony.  Yep, he made a point of telling us that.  BECAUSE IT’S APPARENTLY A BIG DEAL. #iknow #icouldhardlybelieveitmyself  Doing this was his way of letting her know that he could “go either way”.  Um, okay. I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean.

Because Becca’s awesome, she gave him a pair of gold lamé boxers as a nod to the fact that he walked around in his undies last week. He was genuinely honored and said, “I think Becca might have my groin on her mind”. #puke #gag #dryheave Sorry to say, but I think she was laughing AT you, Jordan, not WITH you.

During Zoolander’s time, David (the one who fell out of the bunk bed) came back!  His face was so bruised and swollen, and I felt terrible for him.

David spent some time with Becca, and it seemed to go quite well. He walked back in the room with a rose on his lapel, and I was really liking how he was handling the whole situation with his broken face. Per doctor’s orders, he was going to go get some sleep instead of staying at the rose ceremony. But on the way out he have a snarky little “Hey, Jordan” to his arch nemesis. It doesn’t sound like much as I’m writing it here, but I am telling you it was super immature and a total toddler move. And I was annoyed.

David, you’re better than this.

Back in the house, Zoolander said “I’m one of the better looking guys in the house.  Some of the guys think I’m the best looking guy in the house.”  For real.  He said that. The boy is whack.

Time for the First Rose Ceremony

Colton, Chris, and David already had roses.

Who else got roses? Jason, Wills, Nick and his track suit (did I miss something?), Christon, Lincoln, Blake, Garrett, Leo, John, Connor, Zoolander, and Jean Blanc.

That means 15 guys were still in the running. Ryan and Mike went home.

Becca then announced to the guys that they were packing up and heading to Park City, Utah. And I’m not sure if you know this or not, but Utah is the perfect place to fall in love.

The Dates

1:1 with Garrett

Garrett and Becca headed to downtown Utah, and it was unfortunate timing that this poor little girl was walking by just as Becca decided to execute a very aggressive jump and straddle.

They hung out in downtown Utah just goofing around in some local stores.  And Becca was a smitten kitten.

Then they rode a gondola to the top of a mountain so they could bob sled down.

You know, because bob sledding is a lot like love. Of course it is. I mean, I think bob sledding is about not getting a head injury. But then the Olympians (that were going to be bob sledding with them) made a good case for it by explaining it’s all about teamwork and being in sync. Okay, I’ll accept it.

Becca was crushing on Garrett HARD (even mentioning he reminder her of her dad… in a good way), and Garrett was “on cloud 10”. Which was cute.

{I do want to interrupt the regularly scheduled programing to let you know that Lincoln was back at the house letting all of the guys know that he thinks the earth is flat. His proof? Well, he has none. But he said the word “friction” no less than 23 times as if that was supposed to convince us. He did concede that maybe the earth is a rectangle, but it’s definitely flat-ish.}

That night Becca and Garrett headed to a cozy mountain cottage and cuddled up on the couch for some deep conversation. Becca inquired about past relationships, and that’s when he shared that he had been in love before. Ok, no biggie. I’d be concerned if he hadn’t. BUT THEN he dropped the bomb that he’d not only loved the girl, BUT HE ALSO MARRIED HER. And THEN HE DIVORCED HER after 2 months.

You could tell that this new piece of information freaked Becca out. But when she asked some more questions, his answers seemed to calm her down. He shared that the girl was emotionally abusive and tried to drive a wedge between his family and some of his close friends. He told her how his divorce was embarrassing to him, and she seemed to find comfort in that.

She gave him the rose.

They headed into a a dance hall, and Granger Smith was singing.  Fun fact, he’s quite a bit younger, but Granger Smith went to my high school. And remember, Chris Harrison went to my high school too!  #lhhsinthehouse #wildcatsforever

There’s no doubt in my mind that Becca is FULL BLOWN falling for him. And Garret declared it the best day of his life.

GROUP DATE:  Jordan, Chris, Blake, Nick, John, Lincoln, Leo, David, Connor, Cristoff, Jason, Colton, and Jean Blanc

The group date had 13 guys, which seems excessive. It was more like a dang field trip than a date! They headed to a state park where they participated in some lumber jacking activities and dressed up like the Brawny paper towel guy.

I learned two things: 1) Lumber jacking is considered a sport. 2) Lumber jacking activities create an environment that fosters love. Just ask our resident lumber jack and lumber jill, Billy and Kendall.

Then they donned some flannel shirts and competed in Becca’s Lumberjack Bash. I’m not sure if the look was more lumber jack or Pa from Little House on the Prairie, but Becca dug it.

Competition activities included splitting wood, sawing logs, throwing axes, moving logs, etc. You know, manly things while in flannels and suspenders. Lincoln just about chopped his foot off.

The surprise performance of the night was from our software engineer John who scaled a 30-foot pole. So for those keeping track… John can split a log in half with one chop of the axe, he can scale a 30-foot telephone pole (which I’m thinkging could come in handy at some point), AND THE GUY IS A FOUNDER OF VENMO. Well, HELLO, John. #winkwink

Group Date Cocktail Party

They headed to the group date cocktail party, and Becca looked spectacular. Jason had some time with her, and Becca deemed him a “very good kisser”.

She had some time with Colton and they locked lips as well. I’m still a Colton fan.

She sat down with Zoolander and he told her that his gold lamé boxers were now his good luck charm.  And earlier in the night he had even referred to himself as Captain Underpants.  Which I’ll be honest, I enjoyed.

But then he stripped off his trousers and did a little dance in his gold panties. And all of a sudden I was the president of the official NOT A FAN fan club.  And here’s why…

If he was dancing around in his boxers to be a goofball and self deprecating, I could maybe get on board with that.  But he danced around in them because he thinks he looks awesome in them. AND he thinks that Becca thinks he looks awesome in them. AND he thinks that his body is God’s gift to gold lamé.

And here’s how we know that Zoolander is most definitely remaining int he running ONLY BECAUSE he is a producer’s pick: He leaned down to kiss her (the images below are now burned into my brain and I can’t unsee them), and she straight up backed up. I mean, she giggled and said something like, “I can’t do this now” acting like it was because she just thought the gold hot pants were so hilarious. However, we know that in reality, she was simply repulsed by his general presence. #allegedly

Here’s what I know, his little gold panty dance solidified his dill weed status in my mind.

Colton then deemed it necessary to go tell Zoolander that he thought he was crazy. I think he felt he was defending Becca’s honor. Colton, didn’t your parents tell you that you can’t argue with crazy? And Mr. Gold Panties is in fact crazy.

Jean Blanc then sat down with Becca and surprised her with a perfume made just for her. He explained how he had collaborated with a fragrance house to create a special fragrance with her in mind. He gave it to her, gave her a little kiss, and then their time was interrupted. You could tell Becca was relieved. HOWEVER. Jean Blanc had more things he wanted to say, so he went and interrupted Becca’s 1:1 time. He said, “I’m truly falling for you… and I’m falling in love with you.” AND CRICKETS y’all. CRICKETS. Our girl Becca does not have a poker face. She stared at him blankly for what seemed like a sweet forever, told him she though they were on different wave lengths, and then she said, “Can I walk you out?”.

Don’t you wish you could say that to everybody in your life that was on your last nerve?

When at the door, Jean Blanc basically said that he only said those things because that’s what he thought she needed to hear, and that he didn’t necessarily feel those things.

Becca was not amused.

She marched into the house, announced to the guys that she felt deceived and disrespected (join the club, lady – this show makes me feel disrespected in a weekly basis) and declared that all she’s asked for from the beginning is honesty. And if anybody remaining couldn’t be honest wit her, then they just needed to leave. The she walked right on outta there. She gone.

Personally, I think it seemed like a bit of an overreaction that she was so hurt. But I like that she doesn’t mess around. I would like to again state here that in real life this level headed woman wouldn’t even entertain the idea of a guy that prances around in gold lamé panties.

1:1 WITH WILLS

There’s only a handlful of things to report: they rode snow mobiles, his ex-girlfriend wanted them to have an open relationship, and he never spoke above a whisper. Yep, that about sums it up.

ROSE CEREMONY

Let’s start out by saying that Becca’s makeup was STUNNING. The girl freaking glowed.

Who got roses? Leo, Colton, Blake, Jason, Connor, Lincoln, John, Chris (Eddie), David, and Jordan.

Nick and Christon were sent home.

And then there were 12.

Because he was the last one chosen, our resident model started spiraling. He was in a tail spin. I mean, DID SHE NOT KNOW THAT HE HAD A 3-YEAR CONTRACT WITH WILHELMINA? He said, “I’m like a sponge. You can squeeze me and get everything out of me, but you’ll never know if you try.

And this was me.

That’s it for today’s Bachelorette Episode 4 recap. You might want to start carb loading for next week’s post, because it appears that David and Jordan are going to go on a 2:1 date. OH, THE HUMANITY!

OUTFITS OF THE DAY

Did y’all see my post on Monday? I showed you 3 different pairs of shorts that have definitely upped my shorts game!

I highlighted this sweater in one of my three outfits, and since I first showed it to you, I’ve fallen even deeper in love with it. It’s perfectly slouchy, comfy, and I love a stripe. Now, here’s the deal. When I originally bought the sweater, I thought it was a dark navy stripe. I proceeded to wear it twice, and I continued to think it was a dark navy stripe. And then I had several readers comment on the fact that the site said it was in fact a black stripe. And you know what? They were right. On closer inspection, it is in fact black. #whatever #itsfine Ha!

I think I would prefer it to be navy, but the black doesn’t change my love for it. Look at it here paired with my favorite denim shorts and my new rose gold slides!

I absolutely love the relaxed look of the whole outfit. For size reference I’m wearing my regular size S in the sweater and I love how slouchy it is. If you would like it more fitted, size down. I’m wearing my regular size 27s in the shorts, but size down if between sizes.

And my new rose gold slides are FABULOUS. #ifidosaysomyself Now, the link is confusing because at first glance it’s hard to find the metallic option. But when looking at the colorway options, the 4th circle on the right gets you these babies! Different colorways and fabrics are different prices, but these are $59.95 compared to some choices that are $79.95. I wore them for the first time this past weekend and received tons of compliment! I would suggest sizing up a 1/2 size so they aren’t too short. And truly, I can’t say enough great things about these slides.

Oh, and I’m wearing my new candy apple red Kendra Scott studs and my new red lipstick (in “Ruby Woo”) to match! I bought both for my WHAT TO WEAR JULY 4th post that I have coming up on Friday, but I loved pairing the vibrant reds with this outfit as well.

striped slouchy sweater / red earrings / best denim shorts ever / rose gold slides

And my bracelet combo was so fun!

kendra scott turquoise station cuff / multicolor friendship bracelet (make sure you are in Sheaffer Sims’ trunk show and type “wishing” bracelet in search bar)

This next top is right up my alley for the summer. Loose fitting and embroidered? SIGN ME UP. I’m wearing a small, and it’s very generously sized. If you are a really tiny person, this top might not work for you. The top will also look great with white denim too.

embroidered top courtesy of Social Threads / best denim shorts ever / sandals ON SALE

And you saw these next two outfits in flat lays last week. This tank is stupid soft and I love how it hangs. I’m wearing my regular size small.

pleat back tank / rainbow wood tassel necklace / hot pink stud earrings / best denim shorts ever / sandals ON SALE

And this top is darling and incredibly festive.

off the shoulder ruffle top / white hoop earrings / best denim shorts ever / sandals ON SALE

Thanks for stopping by today, y’all! See you back here on Friday!

Filed Under: Fashion, The Bachelor 19 Comments