We’ll get to The Bachelorette recap in just one second, but I have a quick P.S.A. for everybody!
Nordstrom Anniversary Sale: Almost Go Time!
If you’re new around here or if you only come around for these recaps, take a second to hop over to my Nordstrom Anniversary Sale page where I’m giving you the run down of everything you need to know about the sale. If you’re a cardholder, you can START SHOPPING THE DEALS RIGHT HERE BRIGHT AND EARLY THURSDAY MORNING at 5:00 am CST! I hope to see you back here first thing in the morning!
Here’s something else you need to know. I have early EARLY access, and I’m actually shopping the sale today! I will have a full post up tomorrow with my favorite picks so far, with pictures of me actually wearing the clothes and giving fit tips. Hi, my name is Sheaffer, and I’m going to be your Nordstrom Annivesary Sale tour guide.
My absolute favorite finds, the best of the best, will get this graphic to make them easy to spot.
I’m really excited about certain things I’ve seen already (I’m looking at you Vince Camuto booties, Adidas sneakers, and AG jeans). And although they weren’t in the catalog, there are tons of great tops, cardigan, and denim options this year. Some of the brands have even sent me some sale items that I’m LOVING, and I’m so excited to share them with y’all! And I’m obviously keeping my fingers crossed for some of our core favorites from previous years, like a new style of blardigan, some Zella high waist leggings, the bliss undies, and a great Natori bra. I love picking up my tried and true basics for a steal!
Start carb loading right now ladies. We’ve got a big day tomorrow!
IT’S BACHELORETTE TIME!
The Bachelorette Episode 7 – Season 14
Have you been reading this season’s Bachelorette recaps? If not, take a minute to catch up! Last week’s recap was short and sweet, and my big realization was that Jason was all of a sudden a front runner not just for Becca, but also for me. #iwantitthatway
In the Bahamas
This week they were in the Bahamas, which was a welcome change from Virginia. #nottheresanythingwrongwithvirginia #butitsnotthebahamas
Becca sat down with our steely eyed host in a gorgeous penthouse overlooking the ocean and talked with him about how she is hoping for a drama free week (has she seen the show?), how she can definitely see herself falling in love, and that she fully believes she will end up engaged at the end of all this. Blah, Blah, Blah. All I could think about was how much I wanted her luminous skin and those pillows. I love a good throw pillow.
I can hardly believe that we are already down to 6 guys! And after tonight we’ll be down to 4! This is the final elimination before hometowns…and you know that hometown dates are MY FAVORITE. I love getting to see everybody in their natural habitats! Ha! Let’s quickly recall some favorite hometown’s from yesteryear: *Remember how Kendall the taxidermy girl had everything stuffed but her immediate family members, AND THEY HAD A STUFFED MOUSE WEDDING? #goodtimes *What about Desire’s brother who seemed certifiable? *And let’s fondly recall JoJo’s mom drinking straight out of the wine bottle. Ahhh, the memories. Look at the dad trying to gently coax her to PUT THE BOTTLE DOWN, DEAR.
The first 1:1 was with Colton!
As Becca and Colton walked out the door, the guys immediately started speculating about how Becca was going to handle Colton’s big secret once he let the cat out of the bag. WHAT? A BIG SECRET? IS HE A DRUG LORD BACK HOME? HAS COLTON DONE HARD TIME FOR SOMETHING? WAS IT SOMETHING ABOUT TIA? DID THEY HAVE A LOVE CHILD? TELL ME! TELL ME NOW! WHAT IS THIS SECRET?!?
And then they made it clear that the big secret they were talking about was the fact that Colton is a virgin.
It’s not like he has a highly infectious disease or a third nipple. #notthattheresanythingwrongwiththat
I don’t feel like this should be a negative thing AT ALL. I don’t know if you are familiar with these statistics or not, but it has been proven that 10/10 people have in fact been a virgin at some point in their life. So, let’s all calm down about this whole virgin thing. I mean, it’s not that big of a deal. Some might even say he should get BONUS POINTS for this!
What IS a big deal is the cheetah leopard onesie that Wells was wearing. #nosir
They hopped on a catamaran and looked like they should be on the cover of a freaking romance novel.
Colton was just about to talk to her about his decision to save himself when an island man complete with dreads and a torn up tank and matching shorts pulled up in a boat and told them they needed some conch.
To be clear…According to Webster, a CONCH is a tropical marine mollusk with a spiral shell that may bear long projections and have a flared lip.
Our friend explained that the pistol of the conch (look at it! ew!) was an aphrodisiac “So you can please her and not tease her.” Um, okay then. I’m thinking our boy wouldn’t need any help. He’s been preparing for this moment his whole life.
That night on their dinner date, Colton immediately launched into the fact that he wanted to share something with her that could be “a potential roadblock” for them. He finally spilled the virginal beans and even said that it was something that he’s proud of. AND I WAS GIVING HIM THE SLOW CLAP. You go, Colton! You save yourself for marriage! Makin’ your mama proud! (He did make a big deal about the fact that nobody knew this. Well, except the guys in the house. And the camera man. And the crew. And Chris Harrison. And now ALL OF BACHELOR NATION. But he didn’t think his dad knew, so there’s that.)
HOWEVER. I then became seriously confused when he explained that he had been just focusing on his career. HUH? I mean, that can’t be the real reason, right? Was he trying to say that he just hadn’t done The Big Wiggle yet simply because he didn’t have time? That’s just dumb. Own your virginity AND the reason behind your decision, Colton! Don’t try to act like you just couldn’t find time in your schedule because of all of the of 2 a Days.
Becca seemed more than a little surprised at Colton’s admission.
I mean, just earlier that day she declared him a “bronzed god” and mentioned that he could “do anything he wanted to her”. She politely thanked Colton for telling her, but then she asked to be excused for a minute. Just for fun, let’s turn the tables for a bit. If this was The Bachelor, and a guy got up to have a moment after a girl shared that she was a virgin, Bachelor Nation would be UP IN ARMS. I have to believe that the producers called her away from the table, because I just don’t think Becca would have handled this “situation” in this manner.
I mean, a guy she realllllllllly likes just told her something very personal. I don’t think she would just get up from the table on her own to leave him in full on panic mode.
When Becca returned, she then said all the right things. WHEW. Said she would never judge him or think any less of him for his decision. WELL. NO KIDDING. He then said “I’m not waiting for marriage, I’m waiting for the right heart.” I’m pretty sure that was code for “There’s a pretty good chance that I’ll wiggle in the fantasy suite. Give me that date card, baby.”
Garrett – Love is in the air. Becca
The next 1:1 was with Garrett. They boarded a Tia Air puddle jumper and I felt like this was a missed opportunity by the producers, right? Colton should have been boarding the Tia, not Garrett.
The two headed to a private island, and then swung on a swing. WAIT. Swung on a swing or swang on a swing? SWUNG. It’s definitely swung. Right? Whatever. I did appreciate this faded double shot, like they were the couple in a music video for a 90’s power ballad. Well done.
During a deep talk, Garrett told Becca that he never gets down or discouraged. That’s obviously weird. I feel like Becca needs to dig a little deeper here because everybody has trying times. He then said something reallllllllllly cheesy about him not being perfect, and her not being perfect, but how they could be perfect together. I felt like he lifted that line straight out of an 80’s romantic comedy. I mean, Tom Hanks would totally say that to Meg Ryan.
At dinner that night he talked about his ex wife and basically blamed all of their problems on her. He used terms like “hot headed” and shared that she was always “screaming and yelling”. But don’t worry y’all. Based upon what he said earlier, even an emotionally abusive wife can’t bring this guy down. It’s all sunshine and lollipops in Garrett’s world.
Blake – You make my heart skip a beat. Becca
Blake got the 1:1 date card, and it’s a good thing he did, because he was in the beginning stages of a Crazy Eddie spiral.
They headed to a beach party, and the Baha Men were playing. I was like, WHO? And then I was reminded of their song that will no doubt be stuck in my head for the next several days. Who let the dogs out? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who let the dogs out? Well, it’s now like twenty years later, and they’ve got a new song they are ready to share with the world.
So, they performed their new song, and Blake “danced”. At first I felt like I needed to look away because Blake’s dancing seemed awkward. Like, Elaine on Seinfeld awkward. But y’all, I have to admit that the dancing grew on me. He was dancing with reckless abandon, and I kind of loved it.
During their day date he explained how difficult the last week had been for him. Becca put a knife straight through his heart when she shared that she was beginning to see how it had been hard for Arie because she was starting to understand what it was like to start to fall in love with more than 1 person. I was concerned Blake might stroke out, but he stayed conscious. Good job.
During their date that night, Blake knew he had to start trying to close the deal. HE HAD TO BE OPEN AND VULNERABLE. How did he go about doing this? Easy. He threw his mama under the bus. It seems as if his mom had an affair (while still married to his dad) WITH BLAKE’S BASKETBALL COACH/ENGLISH TEACHER. Ouch. Sorry for airing your personal laundry, mom….but your baby needed to solidify his rose!
And then he said, “Falling in love is fun, but I think STAYING in love is even more fun. Becca, I am in love with you.”
During her 1:1 interview she said, “I feel like my heart just recognizes his.” She went on to say, “Blake and I are on the same page. He just doesn’t know it yet.” The girl has it bad. She rewarded his transparency by pulling him up against the wall and eating his face.
Wills, Jason, Leo – These days are never easy. Becca
Back at the house, Leo must have known he was the next one out. Nothing else could explain his updo. NOTHING.
The three guys hopped on a little boat and headed to see their girl.
They played a little beach volleyball and then each had some 1:1 time.
Wills explained that his parents have been married for almost almost 50 years, so she should clearly pick him so they too could be married a really long time.
Jason said that he sees a happy future with her.
Leo explained that he totally digs her, but he’s not necessarily ready to get engaged in two weeks. That’s too bad, Leo. Grab your scrunchies and get on outta here. Actually, I was sad to see the guy go. Obviously a super nice dude who will make somebody very happy.
That night, Becca had some more time with both Jason and Wills and she was hoping that she would just know who the next person would be to go. Who would she be keeping around? The Back Street Boy with a love of hair product? Or the man confident enough to rock floral pantsuits and cheetah rompers? She decided to stick with the Dippity Do.
And that about wraps up The Bachelorette Episode 7.
So who remains? Colton, Jason, Garrett, and Blake.
I’m positively GIDDY about hometowns, y’all. Let’s keep our fingers crossed for all sorts of weird family dynamics and dysfunction!
What’s on Sale
In closing, please think of me today as I’m at Nordstrom SHOPPING MY FACE OFF. I seriously plan on being there most of the day, scoping out all of the best deals for us and trying everything on! I can’t wait to share it all with you tomorrow morning (post will be live by 5:00 a.m.)! Be sure you are following me on facebook and instagram as well!
And you definitely want to make sure you are subscribed to my posts HERE! My posts go live at 5:00 a.m., but they are e-mailed out at 6:00 a.m. So if you don’t want to wait until 6:00, just hop over on your own!
Some sale items before you go. Just click on what you are interested in!!!
Also, Colleen Rothschild has some of her PROBLEM SOLVERS on sale! Click HERE if you want to see my Colleen Rothschild Told Me To post and/or check out the highlight reels on my insastories under SKINCARE where I show some of my favorites.
See everybody back here early tomorrow morning! I promise that I’m going to do all of the heavy lifting while shopping the sale, I’m just going to take you along for the ride. Your part is going to be SO EASY! And afterwards? You’ll be DARLING. Let’s do this!