LADIES.
Pat yourselves on the back.
YOU MADE IT.
WE MADE IT.
I feel like it was a team effort, but we did it!
YAY, US.
We stuck to it, we persevered, and we have no regrets.
Well, that’s not exactly true.
I might have a regret or two.
HOWEVER.
We made it through this entire not so ordinary season, and we’ve come out better people on the other side. I mean, after all of that, we are now in the presence of what seems to be TRUE LOVE. Love that was worth fighting for. Love that inspired an ordinary man to jump over an 8 foot fence. IN A SINGLE BOUND.
Let me say, there was A WHOLE LOT OF FLUFF and quite a bit of REMEMBER WHEN for Part 2 of the finale. And I no longer have the time or the patience for the fluff. I’m looking at you Bachelor alumni.
FINALE INTRODUCTION
We started out the night in the studio audience with Harrison. And the man was giddy. He recapped the previous night with the following…“Last night, Colton jumped an 8 foot high fence and ran off after Cassie broke his heart. He broke up with Tayshia and Hannah G. And then in an unexpected twist, Colton made a surprise visit to Cassie.”
And then he posed the question to America“Will Cassie hear him out and maybe take him back? Or will Colton end his journey in the way he began…ALONE AND STILL A VIRGIN?”
Not cool, Harrison. NOT COOL.
Time to hit the high points of Night 2!
COLTON’S PLEA TO CASSIE
On Monday night, we saw Colton knocking on a door, but we were unsure at the time who was on the other side. Well, as we all suspected, it was in fact Cassie.
And was it just me, or did she look like she 100% knew that Colton was going to be dropping by? There was not even a hint of a surprise or a “gosh, I never expected this” on her face.
She looked fresh faced, gorgeous, and NOT AT ALL surprised.
Colton told Cassie, “Watching you walk away was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to watch. That’s why I sacrificed and gave up everything. I ended things with Tayshia and Hannah.”
And THEN Cassie looked genuinely surprised. And possibly happy. And maybe a little terrified. Okay, she looked a lot terrified.
He continued, “I’m not sitting here asking for a marriage at the end of this. I’m asking for a second chance. And day by day, we’ll figure it out.”
He assured her that he felt 100% sure about it.
“I did that so I wouldn’t be telling you I love you, I would be showing you that I loved you. And you could see how much I was willing to give up and give to us. We’re going to take this day by day and figure this out. My family is waiting for us in Spain. And I want them to meet you if you are willing to continue.”
And she immediately agreed. It made me think that she had in fact ended it with him, just based upon the fact that she couldn’t deal with the idea that he was still dating 2 other girls.
OR.
She agreed to go meet the family only because she knew he wasn’t going to take “no” for an answer.
I went back and forth. I oscillated, if you will.
Cassie was up front with him when she said, “I don’t know what I’m ready for, but I feel good right now though.”
It seemed like an omen.
MEETING COLTON’S FAMILY IN SPAIN
All of a sudden, they were in Spain.
And Colton celebrated by wearing a cranberry shirt with a mauve denim jacket, which I thought was an interesting choice. But it was consistent with the boy band vibe he started giving us with his new hairdo on Monday’s night show. So I understood it. I respected it. Nick Lachey would have totally worn it pre Jessica Simpson days. #fistbump
FAMILY MEETING, Y’ALL! Colton sat everybody down and immediately told them he had some news to share. And he let them know that he was no longer a virgin.
And his mom was like…
And I was like…
Then he was all JK, guys.
It was a weird joke.
And his dad was like “You can keep that private next time.” I like dad.
He gave his family a quick little debrief to let them know Cassie had broken up with him (and shattered his heart into a billion little pieces), that he in turn broke up with Cassie and Tayshia to prove his love, and that he was definitely in love with Cassie.
Allrightythen.
When his dad asked “Is she in love with you?” he responded with a painfully honest “At this point, no.” I respected his honesty with his family AND HIMSELF.
Cassie walked up the cobblestone drive and was crazy nervous. Which might explain her choice of footwear. Like she was so nervous that she wasn’t thinking straight, so she just grabbed these clunky boot type things to go with her precious little blue dress and forgot to look at herself on the way out the door. It’s the only possible explanation.
But seriously, please listen to me when I say that she was CRAZY. NERVOUS.
I half expected her to make like Forrest Gump and get the heck out of there, but she didn’t. It might have been her clunky boots keeping her there.
Through tears and a very shaky voice, she said, “I don’t want to walk in confused, but I am. In any other circumstance, I would be excited. But this is a heavy thing.”
She shared with Colton that she didn’t want his family to know that she had been crying or was freaking out. And he very lovingly said “Tell them you were crying. Tell them you were freaking out.” I have to say, he was an extremely calming force. And his love for her was just pouring out of him.
Let’s get another look at the footwear.
They headed to meet the parents, and Cassie continued to freak the freak out. She went on and on and on and on TO HIS ENTIRE FAMILY about how she was still confused.
And her confusion was met with silence. A lot of silence. A lot of DEAFENING SILENCE. I mean, maybe it was just edited that way? But I’ve never been in the presence of so much silence.
Mom and Dad were stone faced.
But the aunt shouldn’t play poker.
Mom met with Colton. Dad met with Cassie. Mom met with Cassie. Dad met with Colton.
The brief summary of all the meetings follows:
Cassie is unsure.
Colton’s family is unsure.
Colton IS sure.
The end.
LAST 1:1 DATE
No pressure, but you’ve got 1 date Cassie! I mean, I know you’ve been hella confused up to this point, but we’re hoping the next 8 hours will bring clarity.
I know this, Cassie was looking DARLING. I’ve had a lot of requests for a source for Cassie’s necklace. I was unable to find the exact one, but this one is similar in shape (but with turquoise)!
They stood on the edge of a cliff together (both physically and metaphorically of course), and Colton pointed to their picnic that was waiting for them, which they had to repel down to.
And was it just me, or did the repelling segment seem INCREDIBLY dangerous?
They arrived at what must be the saddest picnic there ever was. I saw a towel placed precariously on jagged rocks. And I saw a basket. That’s it.
During this “picnic”, she shared that the guy that she had been in a serious relationship with in collage had planned on proposing to her. And she felt he became a bit controlling. That was where a lot of her fear was coming from.
Colton said all the right things to ease her fears about how being in a relationship wouldn’t mean that he was in control, and that their relationship would be all about compromise. He assured her that they would both do their own thing, have their own friends, spend time apart (without any weird jealousy), but also spend time together. He was basically assuring her he wouldn’t be controlling and was like “YOU DO YOU, BOO!” It was something that apparently Cassie needed to hear.
For those of you that are keeping tabs, please know that although Colton is doing his best here, Cassie seems to remain very unsure. How do I know? Well, there was lots of giggling. Oh, and she kept telling us as much.
At dinner that night, Cassie seemed to start getting there. Isn’t it crazy what 6 hours and repelling can do to change a person’s heart? She said, “Whatever happens after this, I’m gonna be all in.” I wasn’t sure what that meant, but okay.
Colton said, “I couldn’t be more grateful, that I’ve had a 2nd chance.”
He offered her the fantasy suite card, and she accepted.
It’s worth noting that Cassie looked STUNNING and her dress was GORGEOUS. Click HERE for a similar black lace halter UNDER $100!
They headed to the fantasy suit, hopped on the bed to give it a test run for comfort, and then Colton showed the crew the door.
It was actually pretty cute. He was like, “I love you, I love you, I love all of you…but there’s a door right here, get outta here goodbye.”
They remembered that they were mic’d, and they called a crew guy back to take those babies off. WHAT A RELIEF THEY REMEMBERED! Because had they remained mic’d, I don’t trust that ABC wouldn’t have subjected us to kissing sounds and moans. They’ve done it before.
And this guy won the night when he said “Good luck, guys“.
FANTASY SUITE
A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell, but everything that we were seeing and hearing the next morning was leading us to believe that Cassie and Colton did in fact participate in The Big Wiggle last night.
I mean, we knew all was right in Bachelor world when it once again showed Colton in the shower. We didn’t get any shower scenes when he was broken hearted. But now he’s showering again, and he’s talking in code saying things like “I was happy waking up this morning. I feel like a new man. We did what was best for our relationship. We grew as a couple.”
Oh, yeah. THEY WIGGLED.
VAMPING FOR TIME
Harrison brought out this group. AND AGAIN, NOBODY CARED.
But Demi was hysterical.
When asked about what she thought what went down in the fantasy suit, she said “Honestly, I hope Cassie jumped Colton like a Portugese fence.”
Y’all. That is FUNNY.
Harrison thought it was almost as funny as I did.
CASSIE AND COLTON’S FIRST PUBLIC APPEARANCE
First and foremost, Cassie was ROCKING a white jumpsuit and looking GORGEOUS. I tried to picture myself in that same get up, but much like Casssie, I just couldn’t get there in my head.
I have to say, the couple looked downright blissful.
Harrison wanted a state of the union for their relationship. Colton happily reported that they are in love. AND Y’ALL. CASSIE AGREED!!!!!! And I have to say, she even sounded convincing. They aren’t engaged yet (thank heavens), but Colton did move to be closer to Cassie, and they seem to have plans to get engaged after some more time as a regular couple without cameras.
Colton continued to not admit to The Big Wiggle, but he totally wiggled.
I have to say, I wasn’t the biggest Colton fan at the beginning of this whole journey, but the guy 100% won me over. I think he’s incredibly sweet and will make a wonderful husband to somebody. For his sake, I hope it’s Cassie. Because yeah, I’m still just a teeny bit unsure. But I’ll tell you this, I’ll be cheering these two crazy kids on.
Two more things before we move on to the big announcement, if Cassie told Colton to do whatever he could to make sure she was able to show off the back of her jumpsuit, then he did a fine job. #missionaccomplished #jobwelldone #itISfabulous
Also, I lol’d when all of a sudden Air Supply was playing in the studio audience. Were these people even born when they were around the first time?
THE NEXT BACHELORETTE ANNOUNCEMENT
Okay, y’all.
Alabamah Hannah is the next Bachelorette. #wompwomp #lonnnnnnnnnnnnnngsigh
I mean, the girl is GORGEOUS. And she definitely looks the part. HOWEVER.
I have never been more disappointed in ABC. And that’s saying something. I mean, we all remember Juan Pablo, right?
HARRISON.
You have let us down.
THE GIRL CANNOT FORM COHESIVE SENTENCES. OR PHRASES.
Seriously. What are they thinking?
Harrison shared the video of him telling Hannah via facetime that she was going to be The Bachelorette, and it was terrible. TERRIBLE.
And then he brought her out on stage.
And it was PAINFUL.
And then he announced that she was going to meet her first five guys on stage that night.
AND I WANTED TO DIE.
Her awkward meter was totally off the charts. But I wasn’t just uncomfortable, I was actually angry. I was yelling “SPEAK, WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!” at the t.v. #doesthatmakemecrazy?
It was actually rage inducing. I legitimately found myself extremely frustrated when she couldn’t find words. I know, I needed to calm down.
I cannot fathom why they picked her. And I cannot figure out why she can’t speak. Somewhere in Alabama her pageant coach was shaking his dang head.
And then she met her first 5 guys. A couple seemed to have potential, a couple were just “eh”, and 1 should have been sent home on the spot after his completely inappropriate “down South” joke. NO SIR.
I want to reiterate that although she looks like a Bachelorette, right about now she was saying “um”, “like”, giggling uncontrollably, or just staring into the great unknown. No. Just no.
I did like the Cam guy that she gave her first impression rose too. I mean, he was a little dorky and he rapped, but I typically prefer dorky to lots of other personality traits. Most of the time, dorks are really sweet.
I mean, can’t Colgate just give Hannah a deal and let Harrison pick somebody else?
AllRIGHTY, y’all! That’s it!
I’d say other stuff, but I’m done.
DONE DONE.
Leave a comment with your thoughts. Do you think Cassie is actually in love? Do you think they’ll make it? And how do you feel about our new Bachelorette? If you are excited about Hannah, we can’t be friends anymore. #justkidding #kindof
And make sure you come back tomorrow for a Spring Style Challenge that I accepted AND ROCKED (if I do say so myself). Have a great Thursday, ladies!
Susan Jeffries says
I will miss your recaps so much!! So until next time(: Our family thinks that Cassie is not into Colton at all. Very apparent, even to my husband who never notices anything (: And Hannah is gorgeous, but I think that season will be painful to watch. At least your recaps will make it fun(:
Sarah says
Perfectly written.
And Tayshia should have been Bachelorette. I’m not even sure I can stomach Hannah B and if you skip recapping that entire season, we wouldn’t blame you. Although it would probably be pretty funny so ? lol
Thanks for another fun bachelor season recap!
Lynn says
My question was why wasn’t Cassie already on her way home? No she didn’t look surprised. She looked like she was expecting him. She was smiling as she opened the door. ?
Lori says
#saddestpicnicever ??? I cannot watch the Bachelorette with Hannah B! How excruciating will that be?! Cassie’s jumpsuit was to die for! #kenandbarbieforthewin
Thank you for your recaps this season. Hilarious as always!! Until next time!?
Ashli says
Oh you can be sure she knew he was coming! And it was a different location (she was probably already home) and several days later. Her hair was a different style and color…………….
Lynn says
Oh & there are no nice comments for ABC or Hannah B. Bad bad choice. I would have thought they would have learned with Juan Pablo but apparently not. ?
Jennifer says
So, I hope we can still be friends because I DO like Alabama Hannah! She seems like she has a good heart. And she is not polished up there, and definitely nervous, but that seems pretty real. That would be me up there- definitely KERFUMBLED, ha. That’s my new favorite word.
Lisa Richardson says
Yay Jennifer! I have to agree. When she was all “Hannah Beast”, I thought…LET HER GO for the love of….and then, I slowly began to like her. AND you just know they are going to give her all.the.coaching before the first night. I think Bambi was legit caught in the headlights when he said she was meeting 5 guys straight out of the gate. #teamhannahb
Sheaffer, your recaps crack me up and I love your sense of humor!!! #canwestillbefriends #maybeshellwinyouover
Kerrie Hofstad says
I completely agree about Hannah. WHY?!?!?!? It’s going to be a LONG season watching, WAITING, for her to speak. Ugh.
Kerrie Hofstad says
I do finally think Cassie is in love, especially after her IG posts. I respect her for not just playing along with how the show always goes and actually waiting until she was really in love. I hope they make it!
Sheaffer says
I totally respect that to, Kerrie! I should have mentioned that again. It was 100% fine and normal for her not to know yet!
Mel says
I think Cassie and Colton are in love and that they will make it. As for Hannah, she is cute as can be, but oh my goodness this season will be painful. We will have to keep track of how many times she says “roll tide.” Being a native southern girl, I will end with bless her heart!
Sarah M says
Loved your recaps as usual and agree that Colton actually came off as a really nice guy who will make a sweet husband. Funniest thing? We watched 8 million hours of tv for 2 people to start dating. We were played =p
Britt says
hahahaha, this is hilarious. and so true! “8 million hours of tv for 2 people to start dating”
Kristy E says
Couldn’t agree more about Alabama Hannah. Couldn’t agree more. It was hard to watch.
Laci says
I am rooting for Cassie and Colton and I am 100% a Colton fan. He won me over with the love he shows for this girl. I hope she doesn’t break his heart AGAIN. They look happy! I caught myself being embarrassed for Hannah B because clearly speaking was not coming easy for her! It was driving me crazy and I just do not know how I will endure 6 weeks of it!
Kelly Lane Nation says
I actually watched part 2 b/c I just couldn’t wait until your recap. As much as I want to dislike Colton, I think he handled the situation in a very mature way. Most women wouldn’t feel comfortable accepting a marriage proposal when your partner is dating other women seriously (I say seriously b/c he used the word Love). My biggest complaint right now is the new bachelorette… WHY NOT TAYSIA???? Are you going to watch and report? 🙂
Kara says
Thank you for all your recaps this season-Wednesdays will not be the same for the next 3 months. Thank you for commenting on the mauve jacket-I thought maybe you had given it to him to borrow! just kidding.
Cassie’s shoes when meeting the parents-Oh My….
I don’t have much hope for them…I think they are caught up in the romance of it all. I think she thought “this guy is professing his undying love to me, what the heck, let’s give it a try”
I appreciate Hannah in that I would probably be that way in front of a camera, but man, it was tough to watch. Yes, the “down south” guy-see ya! Totally inappropriate.
Sarah says
I love that people are so mad that Cassie stepped away, but it is totally normal to not know if you’re in love with someone after only 6 weeks!! I hope they make it as a couple.
I’m excited for Hannah B only because I want her beast to come out again because that was entertaining!
Susan Stancliff says
Nope Nope Nope Cassie is not in love. I give it 6 months and she will be outta there! I agree they could have found a better new girl. Taysia was my choice. I love your term Alabama Hanna! Colton handled the whole thing very responsibly. I hope he doesn’t get his heart broken…(see first 2 sentences).
Heidi says
I was hoping for the next bachelorette to be the other Hannah (and her mom). at the very least we know this next season will provide you with plenty of material for recaps! I do think Hannah b seems to be a nice normal person so I really hope this works out for her even if it is painful for us to watch
Liberty says
Her mom!!! Yes – that is so great!
Karly says
I love Cassie and Colton together! I’ll be cheering them on too because they both look incredibly happy. My husband and I never miss an episode, but after last night’s ending with Hannah B, I don’t know if we will watch the next season! I’m so confused by ABC’s choice. To be completely honest, I would rather watch Demi be the bachelorette ?
Leigh says
My girlfriends and I have decided that the only way we can get through next season is by putting the TV on mute.
Tippy says
Why are they so obsessed with his virginity. That’s kind of personal and icky all at the same time….
Krista says
I think her necklace is @uncommonjames
https://uncommonjames.com/collections/necklaces/products/duchess
Gina says
Hoping Cassie and Colton make it! They looked so happy together and I loved Cassie’s outfit and her haircut. Was hoping Elyse was going to be the next Bachelorette or Tayshia….not Hannah B. I feel really sorry for the crew…..they’re the ones who will have to endure the “um”, “like” and giggles! At least we will get the edited version but I still feel it will be a long six weeks. Perhaps they should have gone with the sloth!
Amy Rogers says
Great recap and you were spot on. I was getting so flippin irritated with Harrison and the reference to Colton’s virginity as well. Omg who even cares…. there were so many bigger things to be concerned about at that point. I also have to say I was lukewarm with Colton in the beginning and hate to admit it but I think this was one of the best seasons ever. He won me over….I think he is a standup guy, has a big heart and deserves so much happiness and love. At the time I thought he was an idiot for doing what he did but now I genuinely hope they make it as a couple. They look great together and you can tell he is madly in love. Best part of the night was when they called the mic people back in and the guy said good luck lol. Thanks for another great season of recaps….always enjoy!!!
Erin Fulweber says
I am going to miss your recaps because you are so spot on with all your thoughts! The worst for me was Cassie’s boots, WTF, what was she thinking??? The 2nd worst, Alabama Hannah, I am sure some dentist will be able to see a cavity on those pearly whites if she keeps opening her mouth like that! Ugh!!!
Kristin Tate says
This may be the first season that I will have to skip. I don’t think I can watch Hannah, that 20 minutes Tuesday night almost did me in. I was hoping for Tayshia.
Allie L says
I *think* Cassie is finally there, but I didn’t think so until they were on the live part in person. She probably is just a normal person who doesn’t fall in love in 8 weeks with someone who is dating other women, but there was no way to know that for sure from her behavior on the show itself. I’m so with you on Alabama Hannah. I wanted to like her so much but she’s super annoying to me. I’m hoping she gets more comfortable and learns how to talk before she’s running the show.
Also, I think I know where Cassie’s necklace is from. It looked familiar when I first saw it, so I looked it up and I’m pretty sure it’s the Duchess necklace from Uncommon James. https://uncommonjames.com/collections/necklaces/products/duchess
Karin says
OMG thank you for posting the link! I have been obsessing over this necklace!
Sarah G says
This is perfect!! I love your recaps! Thanks for always taking the time to do them and make it fun to read 🙂 I will be interested to see if Cassie and Colton stay together long. I want it to work for him, but I’m very skeptical at this point. Hannah as bachelorette – not a wise choice for sure!
Katie Hulbert says
Seriously, your recaps are better than the show!! I’m so sad ABC picked her. I wish that they would pick someone who doesn’t just look the part. Thank you for your amazing recaps 🙂
Jody says
I’m afraid Cassie’s not in love. I had to fast forward through Hannah. #lordhelpme
Jen Zimmerman says
I thought the same exact thing when Cassie opened the door – she totally looked like she was expecting him!! And I don’t think I can stand to watch Hannah’s season – there is no way I can look at her huge mouth and listen to her struggle to form sentences every single week! If you recap (and TOTALLY wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t!) I will definitely read those and save myself the 2 hours on Monday nights!
P Turner says
The producers call ahead so they can get ready-only fair
Cathy Doescher says
I agree with your Cassie and Hannah musings…but think about this…how easy it will be to recap Hannah Bachelorette episodes! So much goofiness 🙂
Alice says
Definitely don’t think they’re in love. He moved to LA to be famous, just worked out nicely that Cassie lives there. This wasn’t her first reality show, either. I think Cassie never expected to make it to the end and was terrified when she made it to final 3. They’ll date about six months and then “always be friends” and end it.
Ashli says
I agree! I think she’ll stick around to see if he’s on Dancing With the Stars so she can sit in the audience. After that, she’s outta there! She’s just looking for Instafame!
Christina says
I like Hannah B. She isn’t polished, but she seems more real than a lot of the girls who put on a front this season. She actually seems like a sweet, normal girl. I did get a little irked when she was silent, so hopefully they coach her a bit before it starts. I think she will definitely be the most entertaining of all the girls they could’ve chosen from the season.
Kala says
Thank you for all of your hard work recapping! I’m glad we had a real ending with them dating but not engaged, I understand it works for a VERY select few but maybe more Bachelor/Bachelorette couples would have lasted had they not gotten engaged. I always hope for the best for these couples but only time will tell! As for Hannah B. I’m excited for her! I can totally relate to her nervousness and I feel so bad that she’s getting such a bad reaction. I think she’ll be fine and will make for a very interesting season!
Jennifer says
If I never hear the word “virginity”, or the phrase ” I am so confused ” again this side of Heaven, it will be okay with me. I watched the episode with my 16 year old son. The look on his face was priceless when they announced Air Supply! I said Colton and Cassie probably don’t even know who that is, and my son said ” they are OLD? ” I wish Colton and Cassie the best. It was refreshing to have two people who followed their heart instead of Bachelor rules. I too, referred to Hannah B. as the female version of Juan Pablo. I’m not looking forward to it, and would totally understand if you took a leave of absence from that season! I am sure Hannah B. is a sweet girl, but some of us just don’t need to be put on the spot in a public (televised) setting! ABC did us dirty this time!
Ashley says
I like the choice of Hannah B. She’s probably the most relate-able, believable Bachelorette they’ve ever picked. Her goofiness and awkwardness make me want to root for her. I see myself in her. I can believe that she has a harder time finding love. For the “live” show she was most likely extremely nervous and those nerves got the best of her. Once filming starts it’s completely different – it’s more structured, private (in the sense that it’s just film crew lol), and she’s much more in control of the situation. Plus she’ll have time to be coached more. I have faith it will work out.
Valerie says
I’m actually really happy with how everything ended with Cassie and Colton. It was so real and normal in how they are handling their relationship that I expect it to work out, or at least have a real shot at working out.
As for Hannah being the next bachelorette, it may end up being reality gold. We’ll just have to watch to find out. I wonder if they begin taping right away or if she has a week or two to get some coaching or take an improv class or two? She seems genuine and relatable, so that’s going for her.
Kelly Davis says
LOVE your recaps, and you say exactly what we are thinking watching (except you are funnier saying it!).
I have to disagree though, and say we love Hannah B. and I thought she was charming and genuine, not performing… so I think she is a fabulous choice. And also? Chris Harrison seems like a protective older brother- I think he sees her genuine sweetness (and she was even funny at the end!).
Can’t wait for your recaps…. even if the season is a dud, you will make it entertaining!
Elizabeth says
Now that others have admitted it, I will too 🙂 I also like Hannah B as the Bachelorette choice. She is incredibly nervous on camera and hopefully that will improve in time, but she has a big personality and that is what they need in order to keep us awake during the show. The best part of the finale was that white jumpsuit!! She also rocked that silver break up dress. Thank you for a great season of recaps!
Lynn says
I watched the show and they never aired Colton giving her the final rose. Did I miss it? She had the rose in her lap after a commercial break. I saw a follow-up interview on another show and they played it as an intro., but it didn’t have sound. It looked like a really sweet moment…..did they show it on part 2 and I just missed it? After all, it’s all about the final rose….
Sheaffer says
Yes! They showed it on part 2!
Andrea says
Can someone please tell me what I’m missing- I don’t get the Juan pablo and Hannah B comparison? Also I don’t watch the show, just read the recaps, so maybe that’s why I don’t know lol.
Sheaffer says
They’re not similar at all! I just don’t think that either one of them were a great choice! Hannah does seem to be a sweet girl!
Liane says
I was kind of hoping (against the odds) that Demi would be the next Bachelorette—purely for the entertainment value! Lol.
I think the producers must call the girls and let them know he’s coming by. I mean, no one ever answers the door in lounge clothes without makeup. Plus I thought I heard Hannah G. Say something which eluded to the fact that she knew he was stopping by.
And thank you for your “no sir” response regarding the “down south” comment. Come on ABC!
Rhonda says
I felt so sorry for Hannah B.! She was floundering. I hope she’s getting a crash course in “The Bachelorese” right now. I did laugh out loud when she said, “As for the rest of you, see you on the first night and you know…try harder!!” Or something to that affect. I’m really hoping she loosens up and gets comfortable. She could be a breath of fresh air or a total distastrophe (as my toddler daughter coined it).
Kathryn says
I have a new favorite word: distastrophe!
Brenda says
I think The Bachelor is starting to move away from the polish and go to someone who will make crazy reality TV. I heard they picked Colton for that reason and he delivered!! I was on the edge of my seat and I knew the spoilers! I hope Hannah B calms down or this could be like watching a train wreck! The editing crew is probably cringing after her After the Rose performance.
If you saw the shows Colton & Cassie were on yesterday you got more background. Cassie said she didn’t realize how little time they got together in the 6 weeks of filming. Makes you wonder how/why anyone says yes to a proposal. Also, she’s just a more cautious person. That happened to my daughter when she got out of a controlling relationship. She had a total commitment phobia!! She luckily found a great guy as patient and sure as Colton. I certainly hope the hateful comments they are getting doesn’t get to them. I’ll always cheer for love 🙂
Lynn Duncan says
Great recap!! I agree totally. Horrible choice for Bachelorette! Did Tayshia turn them down? And that dress! (with one long long arm). Just, NO. Project Runway reject!
I will point out that rapelling would be terrifying, but it is not repelling. However, I would hate to rapell down to that rocky picnic spot.
The shoes, well there were cobblestones. I personally stick to Skechers these days because I am old, I walk a lot and had ACL and meniscus replaced 16 years ago and try to keep my knees happy. But she should have made a different choice.
Most people think they will break up after he does DWTS (just assuming he will do that), but I hope on to hope.
They were on Jimmy Kimmel and he gave them a ring from Neil Lane. Said they can trade for another Neil Lane ring (from the quick glance, they won’t keep that one), or pawn it or whatever. No proposal.
Jimmy edited the morning after video from the Fantasy Suite to include condom wrappers, sex toys, even a hamster.. But they wisely chose not to discuss his virginity or loss of same.
Colton has moved to LA (I thought she lived in Huntington Beach, in Orange County, but maybe that is just her parents) but they are not living together.
They watched the shows with her family! Awkward to watch Colton with all those women, with her family!
Tara C says
The producers really messed up by not picking Tayshia as the next bacholette! She would have been a perfect choice. I don’t believe the Colton/Cassie relationship will last.
Terra L Heck says
I loved Hannah’s red dress but I agree she’s going to make an awkward Bachelorette. Cassie’s jumpsuit was beautiful, although I wouldn’t look near that good in it. I think Colton was thinking with his “other head” the whole time but it seems it might actually work out.
Jill says
I totally spit my diet Dr Pepper when you said the aunt shouldn’t play poker… 🙂
Liberty says
I LOVE your recaps! They are hilarious and have me laughing out loud! I also completely agree with you about ABC’s choice for the next Bachelorette. It was so painful watching her on Tuesday night. I wanted to hide behind the pillows on my couch. Why is ABC doing this to us? I am sure she’s a lovely person, but I really wish they had picked someone else. I may not watch the season – but I’ll definitely still read your recaps. Thanks for everything!!
Emily Maybin says
Harrison was sooo into Hannah that I thought he might be one of the first 5 guys. He just kinda stood there for a few minutes. Twirling her around and not letting her go. #thenshecalledhimdad #orpapa #somethingaboutbeingolder
Maybe she felt it, too?!?
Kristine says
You are the BEST! Thank you for these recaps. They are even better than the show itself, it’s like you are in my head.
I also appreciate you pointing out how to find some of the looks they are wearing!
I’m still unsure as to Cassie & Colton together but will be rooting for them!
Jenn says
I hate speaking ill of someone, but goodness Hannah must be telated the beauty queen that phrased “the Iraq”. Poor thing, that was rough.
Chelsey says
I don’t watch The Bachelor, but your recaps are the BEST!! Haha!! They’re so funny, and I feel like I’ve basically watched the episode ?
Tammy says
Love the recaps! I admit that I wasn’t a fan of Colton’s in the beginning but I think he is really charming and sincere. I think Cassie got scared of a possible proposal. I respect that she needs more time and that they want to take it day by day. I’m certainly cheering for them.
Lindsay says
1. Cassie’s shoes were AWFUL
2. I am totally rooting for them.
3. I don’t think they did the big wiggle in the fantasy suite but i do think they have done it since then.
4. Hannah seems real and genuine and I think she was flustered because she didn’t know she’d be put on the spot like that. I 100% believe she will be fine on her season and will form plenty of complete sentences 🙂 She is nothing like Juan Pablo, I truly am
Baffled as to where those comparisons are coming from!
Baylee says
Makes me sad that people are so hateful about Hannah… I love her! I think she is real. She has talked about her struggles with perfection and you can see that so clearly when she is afraid of saying the wrong thing. I feel that she is very real! I know she only found out she was going to be the bachelorette just a few days before filming, and had no idea they would be filming THAT long of a segment on her, much less bringing out some of the guys. Lord, she did so much better than I would have EVER done in her position! I think she is sweet, real, a little awkward, and trying to find love. I can’t wait for her season and to watch her find love!!
Sheryl says
Schaeffer I love love love your blog! I completely and totally agree about Hannah B and can’t help but wonder if there’s some college bribery level scheme that helped this poor girl get the Bachelorette. Ugh – it’s going to be painful to watch
Rebecca says
Omg, the aunt should NOT play poker, fo sho! Lol!
I’m hopeful for Hannah B. She’s nervous and quirky but I seem to always root for the underdog. #goteamquirky
Mallory says
I think Hannah B will be awkward to watch at time but I am thrilled it is her! She just seems to “normal” not like she has been preparing for this role! I think that most women in America will be able to relate to her. I know I sure wouldn’t have been able to find the words to say if it had been me on that stage!
Angela Ellingson says
Thank you for the laughs all season!! Was that lady the aunt? I thought she was the step-mom? Who knows. I have conflicted feelings about Cassie. Part of me is annoyed and worried for Colton, and then party of me thinks this whole story is incredibly romantic. Doesn’t every woman want her man to fight for her and make grand gestures?! She does seem legit happy now. I’m also shocked by the Hannah B. pick. I thought it was pretty cute when she told the guys she was not giving a rose to to “try harder.” It will be an interesting season for sure!!
Erin Manni says
I loved watching your recaps! In one of them this season did you post links to necklaces? I feel like you did but I can’t locate them! If so, which one was it? Thanks!!! Can’t wait for the Bachelorette recaps to begin!
Sheaffer says
I linked a similar one from Accessory Concierge, but I’ve had lots of readers comment that the necklace was actually from Uncommon James! xoxo, Sheaffer 🙂
Debbie says
I am very hesitant to say I think Colton & Cassie will end up married. I just don’t know if she is real about it all. He cannot will her into loving him, and I feel like that is what he is trying to make happen. I hope it works out, but I guess time will tell.
I could not stand Hannah B. at first, but she has grown on me. I thought her awkwardness made her more real and not so “beauty-pageanty” like so many of the other bachelorettes. I think we will see a real person going through a real part of her life – which is what the show is supposed to be anyway. I would not compare her to Juan Pablo. #heisastinkypoo
I am glad it wasn’t Taysia! Was I the only one that heard her say to another girl early on after a rose ceremony, “Just wait, it will be me & you at the end.”???? Talk about playing a game. Does that sound like someone looking for love or someone scheming to win a game? I can’t believe no one else has mentioned that.
Finally, I have one question – How do they find all the girls with big teeth? #colgatemustbeasponsor
Thanks for all the recaps!
Kelsee says
Its been a long time since I’ve been excited for a season of the Bachelor or Bachelorette, but I am sooo excited for Hannah B’s season. She is relatable and hilarious. I think its going to be a great season and I look forward to your recaps!!!
Dianna says
I think her necklace is from uncommon james.
Jodie says
I like the not-so-perfect girl. I find her refreshing and relatable…all except for her perfect face and body, that is. At least she’s not boring.
Terry says
It sure about Cassie, but I love Hannah B!
Aimee says
I love Cassie and Colton together. I think their story and the way things played out was very Real, which is somewhat unusial for this show! I like Hannah. I think she speaks directly from her heart snd while she is sometimes awkward, she is very authentic. I think she will be great as the Bachelorette!
LA says
I was overseas for the finales and am just getting caught up! Love, love your recaps. I will say that watching Hannah with two sixteen year old girls last night was enlightening. They adore her and her awkwardness. They feel like she is exactly how they would be and they love it! So maybe ABC is playing to a younger and more “real” audience. This season turned out to be more “real” in the end. Who knows but I excited for the next season #beastmode
Rosie says
Honestly I LOVE Cassie’s black boots when she meets the parents… does anyone know where they’re from?!
Lori says
Has anyone mentioned the poor diamond company. Neil Lane must be very upset.
Lynn Duncan says
Neil Lane got their publicity. They had Jimmy Kimmel give a ring to Colton and Cassie on his show.
Crystal @EatDrinkCLE says
My gosh woman – I love your recaps! They are pure gold. THANK YOU!
“Somewhere in Alabama her pageant coach was shaking his dang head.” -yes indeed!
Sarah Mcclanahan says
Please tell me you’ll be doing your recaps for Hannah’s season?? I keep checking like everyday ?? it’s seriously my favorite thing to read!!
Sheaffer says
Hi, Sarah! On my reader questions post last week I talked about how I’m not recapping Hannah’s season. I explain why on that post from last Friday. So sorry! xoxo, Sheaffer 🙂
Kara Barry says
Why are you not blogging The Bachelorette with hannah? There’s so much material to work with!
Sheaffer says
Hi, Kara! I talked about it a couple of weeks ago on a Friday Favorites and why I’m not blogging it this time around. But I AM watching and OMG!!!!! Hahahahaha!
Jennifer Lovelace says
Will you be commenting on the new bachelorette season??? I need to giggles after watching an hour and half episode each week!!
Thanks!
Jennifer
Sheaffer says
Hi, Jennifer! I’m not doing them this season. 🙁 I explained why in a Friday READER QUESTIONS post a couple of weeks ago. So sorry! xoxo