Click HERE for Bachelor recaps from previous weeks.
And from the previews, OH MY WORD IT’S GONNA BE ROUGH!
Maybe THE MOST DRAMATIC BACHELOR EPISODE EVER!!!!!
And I should go ahead and tell you, I actually teared up several times during this episode.
So they opened up the show with Ben letting us know that he is excited to see how the girls were raised, who they were raised by, and what these girls are really about.
Let’s see if he stands by this statement in an hour an 45 minutes…..
I for one am excited for Hometown dates, because per RULE #16, it’s officially time for these girls to RUN, JUMP, AND STRADDLE.
It’s kinda like Stop, Drop, and Roll.
But the opposite.
HOMETOWN DATE #1: AMANDA IN LAGUNA BEACH
So we started with a shot showing Ben waiting on the beach for Amanda.
And I have to say, I was MYSTIFIED at his skinny brown capris.
And if we’re being honest, I was sad too, because just NO.
But don’t worry ladies, they were just regular ol’ pants rolled up trying to avoid the tide.
I seriously thought we had found Ben’s one flaw…because do y’all remember his sweatpant capris from Kaitlyn’s season?
The two laid eyes on each other, and I thought THIS IS IT! FINALLY!
But Amanda’s Run, Jump, and Straddle was WEAK.
It was more of a Jog, Hop, and Pose.
Not what I (or Ben) was looking for.
Come on, get your head in the game Amanda. We expect more from you.
Now, let’s talk fashion for a minute.
First, there was the capri pant scare we had 2 minutes ago.
And now I”m shaking my head at Amanda’s top and Ben’s swim trunks.
Are her sleeves attached? – because I’m thinking they’re not.
It’s as if they are completely independent of her shirt and worn on her arms almost like leg warmers.
I’ll admit it, it was a very confusing time for me.
Whatever happened to a nice halter top?
And Ben’s swim trunks seemed a little too fitted for my liking. Yes?
I was giving these two the fashion side eye for sure.
But all of those sad feelings went away when we all got to watch Amanda see her precious little girls for the first time. And y’all, the pig tails were ON POINT.
It was really touching watching her run up to them and scoop them up in her arms. And it was just as touching watching Ben watch her.
I almost didn’t even notice the Gladiator sandals on the girls.
Ben did an AMAZING job with those girls on the beach.
They played in the sand, they ran after sea gulls (as much as one can run while wearing gladiator sandals), and he seemed to work a little of his “after school program director” magic to get them to warm up to him.
But after playing on the beach, it was time to go home.
And when they got in the car, things got real.
Like REAL real.
Moms, you know what I’m talking about.
Like kids SCREAMING in the back seat for no other reason then they they are just plum worn out.
And all of us moms know that 30 seconds worth of uncontrollable crying in the car makes you want to chloroform yourself with copious amounts of anti-bacterial and baby wipes.
Bless the kids. Bless Amanda. Bless Ben.
(I remember once when Carter was like 3 months old, and we were in the car to make a quick 30 minute drive to my parent’s house. Well, he kept on spitting his paci out. Now, the paci was attached to him with one of those little clips, but he still didn’t have the coordination to get it again and place it back in his mouth. I seriously exited off the highway 5 TIMES during what was supposed to just be a 30 minute drive because the screaming was making me LOSE MY MIND. And the last 10 minutes of the trip we were both crying.)
Mamas, you know. Car trips, even short ones, can make you question your sanity.
So they got to the house to meet Amanda’s parents.
Amanda’s parents were obviously concerned if Ben was ready to be an “instant Dad.”
You could tell that neither they nor Ben were sure.
When talking to her Mom, Amanda had a very real and sweet moment.
She was so vulnerable and she said how embarrassed she was when she got divorced.
Gosh, I like Amanda.
This girl is sweet as can be and seems to be an awesome mama.
That night he read the girls a bedtime story, and it was obvious that Amanda was for sure falling in love with Ben. And I suddenly got sooo nervous for her.
HOMETOWN DATE #2: LAUREN in PORTLAND
Lauren was looking super cute sporting a flannel button up, a leather jacket, skinny jeans, and booties. But I was extremely disappointed, because the RUN, JUMP, and STRADDLE was again nowhere in site.
Lauren just casually walked up to him and gave him a tender little hug.
I don’t even understand this madness!
GET YOUR OCTOPUS ON! STRADDLE HIM WOMAN!
They walked down a city street and headed toward some food trucks.
And now I want to date Amanda.
They started off with a type of bread bowl that was basically just a vessel for a whole mess of butter.
And they ended with a grilled cheese.
Lauren, will you marry me?
WHERE IS NEIL LANE WHEN YOU NEED HIM?
After stuffing themselves, they went to a whiskey library and I gotta say, I was intrigued.
And although a whiskey library doesn’t get me all fired up, a margarita library totally would.
So, I was a fan of the general concept.
Before getting to her parent’s house, Lauren let us (the viewing audience) know that she’s in love with Ben, and that if her family were to accept him, that she would let Ben know as well.
The door opened and LAUREN’S ENTIRE FAMILY WAS DARLING!
Like TV SITCOM DARLING.
Her sister (Mollie) is that totally sought after combination of cute and gorgeous.
The mom is absolutely precious.
And the dad and the brothers are just as cute as can be.
And I’ve gotta say, Ben fits RIGHT IN.
So he goes to have some alone time with Mollie.
Who totally needs to be the next Bachelorette by the way.
Or the next Cameron Diaz.
GIRL IS GORGEOUS.
She grills him (in a nice way),
AND Y’ALL! When talking about Lauren he got all teary! I WAS DYING!
It was genuine and sweet and precious and endearing and charming and all of the other similar adjectives.
Mollie then had some alone time with Lauren, and Lauren said “I feel like Ben’s like my person.”
Cue the oooooohs and ahhhhhhs.
Ben sat down with Lauren’s level headed dad who was sweet and asked some good questions.
Ben held his own.
I’m telling you.
This is the family Ben belongs in.
1st Step: Propose
2nd Step: Ben’s agent contacts Crest for the possibility of casting the entire family in a toothpaste commercial.
WAIT. Is Luke Perry one of Lauren’s brothers?
Didn’t Dylan stand exactly like that in like every single episode?
The stance and the sideburns made me do a double take.
So we are two dates in, and although I really like Amanda and think she’s a great girl, I’m thinking Lauren is a better fit.
HOMETOWN DATE #3: CAILA IN OHIO
We are now ZERO FOR THREE on the whole run and straddle.
She kind of trotted up to him, but that was it.
No Run. No Jump. And definitely no Straddle.
They walked through the heart of her town, sat on a cute little bench swing, and then headed to the toy factory where her dad is the CEO.
They sat down to design a play house together (Caila made the roof blue since Ben’s favorite color is blue. Gag.), and then they headed into the factory to actually build it.
Are these for real hard hats or are these toys too?
And tell me if I interpreted this incorrectly, but part of me felt like Caila thought they actually just built their dream house. Like I imagined her sitting in it, with plastic dinner food on the table, and wondering why the heck her hubby wasn’t home from work yet because the itty bitty baby was screaming and the plastic pizza was getting cold.
After they got to see their dream house come to life, he carried her out of the warehouse (I imagine the workers almost broke their eyeballs from rolling them), and although they do seem to be cute together, I’m personally just not feeling it with her.
And I couldn’t tell if Ben was or not.
I wanted them to drive off into the sunset in a Cozy Coupe from the toy factory lot.
Time to head to her parent’s house.
First of all, I was excited to meet the zany parents that named their kid Kayla, but decided to spell it Caila. I was also hoping to get a random shot of her bathroom, because I was dying to find out what hair products she uses.
Sadly, I didn’t find out the story behind her name spelling OR the secrets to her bouncy hair.
I was however left wondering if her dad was 12 years old or 93 years old.
Because he seemed like a crazy combination of the two.
After dinner, Caila got some alone time with both her mom and dad.
Caila started crying with her dad and finally showed some real feelings, but as she was doing this weird whisper thing telling her dad how she loved Ben, I still felt like there was something not genuine about what she was claiming.
I was all Yeah Yeah Yeah, just show us your volumizing shampoo already.
Caila then had some time with her mom.
And I’m hoping I’m mistaken, but I’m pretty sure that she called her mom “mommy”?
If so, I’m out.
And you should be too, Ben.
UPDATE: I feel a little silly now, because apparently this is a cultural thing!
If so, no reason to run for the hills Ben!
(Thanks to some readers for mentioning this in the comments!)
HOMETOWN DATE #4: JoJo in DALLAS!
You are our last remaining hope!
She looked darling in her skinny jeans and long cardigan, and her lace up shirt had me hopeful for a FULL ON run and straddle.
JoJo! JoJo! JoJo!
Come on! Everybody chant with me now!
Still no run and straddle.
Instead, she walked up to her door with a vase of roses sitting in front of it with a letter.
She started reading the letter aloud, and a couple of lines in, she found herself very confused.
Here’s a excerpt from the letter:
I first want to start off by saying I am writing not because you are on the show but because I have spent the last 39 days self-reflecting and soul-searching about you and me. I gave you my time, made you laugh and we did everything together. I am human and make mistakes and it has taken this journey to understand what true love is ….
With a bumfuzzled look on her face, she flipped to the 2nd page and it said “xoxo Chad.”
WHO THE FRICKIN FRACK IS CHAD?
Chad is JoJo’s ex, and she is NOT impressed with his timing.
She refused to finish reading the letter and just put it down on the kitchen counter.
HELLO! Somebody needs to read us the rest of that letter!!!!
INTERN! HARRISON! SOMEBODY!
Basically, she just told him too little, too late.
And all of the girls in the world who have been in this exact same situation at one point in their lives (which is probably 99.99% of us) all nodded and did an air fist bump in solidarity.
Ben showed up and was very confused about JoJo’s emotional state.
He asked her what was going on, and she told him all about the letter and that she has already called this CHAD fella and told him it was over.
Ben seemed super nervous about how this was all going down, but she appeared to calm his fears.
Then it was time to go meet the parents.
So, here’s what you need to know first.
JoJo’s family lives in a mansion.
And she has two brothers that love her alot. Like alot ALOT.
And since I don’t have a brother, maybe I’m being silly, but their love for her seemed a
little over the top.
She also has a cute sister, but we only saw her for about .3 seconds.
After a quick “dinner” (nobody ate) on super fancy plates with super fancy crystal stemware and what I can only imagine was real sterling because MANSION, the brothers took Ben aside.
And they launched in with all of their doubts and speculation.
They hurled questions at him, and Ben did his best to calm their fears.
Ben said “There’s still a lot of time. JoJo and I are at a really good place, and it’s very real, more than I could have ever expected.”
The brothers were not convinced.
Ben walked into the kitchen as the brothers were sharing with the parents how they thought Ben was basically “brainwashing” all the girls.
It was all sorts of awkward.
How did the mom cope?
She picked up the bottle and WENT. TO. TOWN.
Check her out! GO MOM!
But the funniest part of this picture to me isn’t the mom slamming the champagne….
but rather, it’s the dad trying to gently coax her to PUT THE BOTTLE DOWN, DEAR.
I’ve gotta say, I feel like these brothers have probably driven mama to drink on more than one occasion.
Poor Ben looked like he was going to throw up.
The dad tried to diffuse the situation by saying that he appreciated Ben’s honesty….
but the brothers still looked like they were about to put out a hit on him.
And listen, I’m not saying they are actually connected to the mob or anything, but if Ben ends up swimming with the fishes with a concrete block tied to his ankles, I’m thinking these two might be at the top of the suspect list.
Ben walked in, and the poor thing was obviously a nervous wreck.
But before we get to the roses…
I do want to give JoJo a high five for her jaw dropping forget about my mafia brothers dress.
Ben has a great group of girls remaining.
No crazies left in the bunch.
They really are all quite lovely and seem to have a good head on their shoulders.
Personally, I feel the least connected to Caila, but she is obviously still a great girl and amazing catch!
Roses went to:
Which meant Amanda going home.
And my heart was breaking for her.
But mine wasn’t the only one. Ben was upset too.
And I think he might have given her gifts for the girls because she seemed to be carrying two small gifts as she was getting in her car.
She was driven off, and Ben was really torn up.
He he tearfully said,
“I would like her to know that I care a lot.
And it means a lot that she trusted me enough that she let me be with her kids for the day…
and I can’t do this right now.”
My mama heart wanted to scoop him up.
So that’s all for this week!
Man, it was a doozie!
But next week looks just as good because on the previews he tells two women that he loves them!
One thing before you go, I’ve got a seriously cute tee for y’all today.
I put it on facebook last week (if you don’t follow me there, you should!), but I realized that it never made it to the blog! I like it with my regular jeans just fine…but how cute will it be with white skinny ankle jeans and/or khaki or cut-off shorts?
squad tee / $49 Vigoss jeans / shoreline converse (true to size)
And by the way, it seems that y’all love THE JEANS ABOVE just as much as I do!
And everybody seems to be sizing down 2 full sizes, just like I did.
Even if somebody only sized down 1 size at first, they have told me that they ended up sending those back and going down 2 full sizes.
SO TRUST US!
Here’s another shot of the jeans.
jeans / classic nude leather flats
See y’all back here on Friday!