Sheaffer Told Me To

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Huhwahn Pablo: Episode 2, It’s All for The Dogs

By 206 Comments

Okay Ladies….
Tonight’s episode includes:
Some making out, a couple of hot tub scenes, some boobies, and somebody ingesting obscene amounts of alcohol and locking herself in a bathroom stall.
You know.
Just a regular ol’ Monday night at the bachelor mansion.

But, before we get started on the recap, if you didn’t see yesterday’s post, you need to click HERE
to see why Ryan felt it was necessary to drop by with this message.
Oh, and the winner of the Goodnight Macaroon $100 gift card is Annie Cox!!! Congrats Annie!
Annie is a long time reader and regular commenter, so I’m so excited!  Yay Annie!


Back to El Bachelor.
The 1st Date is with Claire, the 32 year old hairstylist.
Fist bump to the 32 year old.
Her date card says “Let’s Chill”, so in my head I’m thinking that they are going to probably head to a couch, watch re-runs of Seinfeld, and fall asleep by around 9:30.
Which sounds dreamy by the way.
That is not however what happens.
He blindfolds her, they hop in a car, and Claire “smells him”.
She is already saying things like “This could be my first date with my future husband.”
Tap the breaks Claire. (That one was for you Cassie).  🙂  It’s your first date.

The Bachelor folks had set up a Winter Wonderland in the middle of Los Angeles, Huhwahn gives her a piggy back (still blindfolded) over the snow covered meadow and then does the big reveal.
They act like they’re cold and ice skate.

Claire is a smitten kitten.
#meow
Next up. they hop into a hot tub together, and I all of a sudden become aware that my heart is racing.
Don’t worry, it’s not because I think Claire is the one for Huhwahn or anything like that… I realize that my heart is racing because I am ticked off because I am now  thinking about the fact that swimsuit season is just around the corner.
Panic.  Not even kidding.
Wish I was.  But I’m not.

To all my real-life friends out there, I’m about to turn into Get Ready for Summer Sheaffer.
It’s a part of me that all my friends are super familiar with.
Yep, it’s time to kick it into gear and lose the 15 pounds I put on ever year between August and December.   Like I said, my hubby and friends are used to this and are quite familiar with the process.  It’s a type of tradition of sorts.
An awful tradition that nobody likes.
To the people that don’t know me in real life, here’s what’s about to go down.
 Every January or February I start to work out like a maniac and eat super SUPER healthy in order to get ready for summer.  It takes me about 2 months, and I drop the weight I put on every year.  And every year when I drop it, I vow I will never put it back on again which let’s be honest is just a big ol’ lie because this is what I’ve pretty much done all my life.  I gain it, I lose it, I gain it, I lose it, etc.
 Anyway, just an aside.
(Please no links to your diet pill or workout regime,
I work out and I eat healthy, and I drop the weight.
It’s just that I HATE working out and eating healthy so I can’t keep it up all year.)
I know that people say “Nothing Tastes As Good As Skinny Feels.”

Which I do believe WHEN I’M SKINNY.
The other 300 days of the year, I know in my heart of hearts that
queso does in fact taste as good as skinny feels.

I will say that when out shopping last week I saw THIS swimsuit and I kind of got inspired.
I talked about it last year and several of you got it and SANG IT’S MAKES ME LOOK SKINNIER THAN I AM PRAISES.
And then when you see and read the reviews I start to think I should probably buy one in every color.
Click HERE.
Make sure you checked out the HUNDREDS of 5 star reviews.  IMPRESSIVE.
It comes in 5 colors.

Sorry for the tangent.

Anyway, they are in the hot tub and she is telling him he tastes like snow.  Weird.
He offers her a rose.
She accepts.
And she decides to seal the deal with her tongue a kiss.

and then all of a sudden…
Wait.  What’s that?  Is that music in the distance?
Well, I NEVER.
They hop out of the hot tub, throw coats on over their suits, and run across snow covered field.
AND THE ONLY THING I COULD THINK ABOUT was how I would NEVER want to be running.  On national t.v.  In a swimsuit.
Can you say nightmare?
Claire looked great running in a swimsuit…but it made me want to starve myself and do jumping jacks.  And maybe get a boob job.
At least a lift (although I hear those are quite painful and I don’t really do pain.)

And all of a sudden we see Jack Somebodyoranother (just googled it, Jack Krajcik) playing
 a private concert.
Does
anybody else EVER know the person playing the private concert?  I never
do.  But now I feel stupid because he’s probably super famous.  I’m not
a music person.  Another sidenote, I’ve never EVER bought a cd. 
NEVER. In my whole life.  I know, I’m a freak.

The slow dance and kiss while it’s “snowing” around them.
And in her head, Claire just picked out her wedding colors and booked the chapel for what will surely be their fairy tale wedding.
I’m thinking it will be somewhere with snow, you know,  to pay homage to their first date.

Cut back to the house.
And I hate to say I told you so…wait, no I don’t…… I TOLD YOU SO!
 Lucy is such a free spirit that she feels bathing suit tops are unnecessary.
Kind of like I feel bananas are unnecessary.
And I would like to decree that I will henceforth refer to Lucy as No Shoes McGee.
I did underestimate No Shoes though.
I thought she wouldn’t strip down until the 3rd episode…but homegirl was topless like 10 minutes into the 2nd episode.  And again another 30 minutes into the episode.
Her mama must be so proud.

The 2nd Date One-on-One date is with Kat.
Kat is 29, almost fist bumping age, but not quite.  Sorry Kat.
Her date card says “I can feel the electricity”.
Kat is super cute.  Like SUPER cute.
And she’s wearing an exact look that I had on the blog last summer.
Couldn’t find a picture of Kat in this look, but she was wearing a long sleeved denim shirt and some white short shorts.
Here I am last summer in her look.
Exact shirt HERE.
OR…you can click HERE for a great option at LOFT that is 40% off today!!!!
If you don’t have a denim shirt, get one NOW.  
They hop on a private jet and Kat doesn’t know where they are headed although she is already fantasizing about “jet setting around the world with her latin lover”.
Hwahan then throws on a glow in the dark track suit and pulls one out for Kat too.
America is confused.
 Then they go to what looks like a rave.
I’d be all, ” Um. No thanks.  Raves really aren’t my thing.”

 But it’s not a rave, it’s an “electric run”.
Suddenly I would find myself yearning for the raves of yesteryear.
If I had to pick rave or run, I would pick “rave” EVERY DANG TIME. And twice on Sunday.
A run?  What?
 I’d be all “NOPE. NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.”

At this point, if I’m Kat, I would have been FREAKING OUT that he was going to
make me participate in some type of organized run.
I don’t do organized runs.
(In fact, the last time I ran was probably in the 6th grade when Ms/. Adams was timing us for the 9 minute mile we had to complete for the fitness gram.)
In between running, they dance.
Kat has some moves.
Go Kat.  Go Kat.  It’s your birthday.  Go Kat.

They hop up on stage and dance some more, and they are actually super cute together.
I mean, COME ON!  Look at them!
And here’s what is most impressive, I think they TRULY had fun at the rave/ 5K.

It’s time for the group date card.
The 3rd Date is going to be with Chelsea, Christy, Kelly, Cassandra, Andi, Mama, Lauren, Alli, Chantal, Nikki, Elise, and Victoria, and Lucy
The date card says :  “Say Cheese”
Sounds like a photo session to me…unless it’s a cheese eating contest or something which I would be TOTALLY ON BOARD with by the way.
Oops.  One of the bachelorettes made that joke right after I wrote it.
Well, it’s not a cheese eating contest.  It is in fact a photo shoot.
WITH DOGS.
And the “dog lover” peed herself she was so excited.
Just kidding.  
I think.

But in all seriousness, it’s a calendar shoot for an organization called “Mutts n’ Models”, with the goal being to raise awareness for pet adoption.

The girls choose their dogs, and their photo shoots are tailored around the dogs they choose.
Notice the fire hydrant second from the left and the dog costume from 3rd from the right.

 Props to this girl.
#ruffruff

 And what about the legal assistant girl?
It seems as if she decided the best way to make people want a dog was to straddle Huhwahn.

And then….the plot thickens….Two poor girls get assigned NOTHING for their costumes.

I’d be all “Hey Hwahahn. PEACE OUT.  
You and the puppy dogs (that one was for you Erika) are on  your own.“

The first grade teacher (who was assigned NOTHING to wear) goes to talk to the wardrobe director about  the fact that she doesn’t want to be naked.  I like this girl.  He gives her some RIDICULOUS song and dance about
“how it’s not about what she’s wearing, it’s about what she’s doing for a good cause.”
WHAT. EVER.
You just want to see some boobies dude.
Just FYI, I MIGHT consider getting naked for starving kids or something like that.
But for a dog?
NOPE. NO WAY. NO HOW.

1st grade teacher has a brainstorm, and she’s all “Hey, Lucy!”
She asks No Shoes McGee to trade costumes with her, and NO SHOES is
MORE THAN HAPPY to oblige.
What a sweetheart exhibitionist.
And then she takes her random dog on a naked walk around the neighborhood.

So, after No Shoes graciously said she was willing to show her tatas for the sake of the pups, and after Huhwahn Pablo told the other chick that she shouldn’t worry because he would be naked to, this next pictured happened.

I don’t know about you guys, but for some reason I all of a sudden feel super
compelled to adopt a dog.
Except that I don’t.
Somebody please explain it to me,
 WHY IN THE WORLD IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME WANT TO BRING HOME A DOG?

The group goes back for the cocktail party on a roof somewhere.
He has 1:1 time with several girls and there is also some girl drama.
Well, the drama is just really with one girl, but there was a lot of it.
*
The NBA dancer tells Huhwahn that she has a son.
He says “Oh, that’s so cute” in a really high pitched voice.
Translation = I already have a kid, and I don’t really want yours too.
But listen, Huhwahn baby, you should be less concerned that she has a kid, and more concerned that she talks to her mom 10x a day.
*
Mama had some time alone with him.  She really wanted to  kiss him, but she didn’t.
I REALLY like this girl.  A LOT.
I want to be her friend.
*
Victoria, the legal assistant, is hammered.  Even though she claims she has only had 1 drink.
Listen Victoria, WHO DO YOU THINK WE ARE?
 This isn’t our first Bachelor rodeo.
You’re hammered.
And we all know it.
And actually, if we are going to be TOTALLY honest, we are all kind of happy about it.

I’m not sure if Victoria is speaking broken English or drunken English, but she is quite
 difficult to understand.
Several of the girls try to reign her in, but it doesn’t work.

And here she is in her 1:1 interview.

It is here that she proclaims to the camera that if she is lucky enough for Huhwahn Pablo to be hers that she will…
and I quote…
“straddle him every day.  Because that’s what life is about.  Straddling people.  And things.”
Gosh Victoria, I didn’t know that. Thanks for sharing.

AND JUST WHEN YOU THINK IT CAN’T GET ANY WORSE BETTER,
IT DOES.
Like, it gets WAY WORSE BETTER.
Just in case you need a reminder, Victoria is Little Miss Straddle.

BUT.
When Victoria is talking about her photo shoot it in her interview
She says she gave him the HYMEN maneuver.
SERIOUSLY.
NOT KIDDING.
YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP PEOPLE.
And Honey, just fyi, you didn’t give him the Hymen maneuver.
You didn’t even give him the Heimlich maneuver.
What you were “giving” him is called CPR.

It then cuts to the pool where Victoria is twerking and pounding some more alcohol.
  Yeah, that seems like a good idea to me.
#classy

Victoria then goes running all over the hotel and ends up on the floor in the bathroom. Crying. Squealing. Moaning really. Saying “I’ve had enough. WHY?  WHY am I here?  WHHHHHHYYYYYYYYY?
Well, that’s easy.
You’re here because you signed up for the crazy.
SO, WELCOME to the crazy.

Mama goes to her and tries to go comfort her.
Gosh I love Mama.
 She crawled under the bathroom stall to get to her.
This my friends is what you call TAKING ONE FOR THE TEAM.

 And suddenly it reminds me of this picture.
Which was taken Monday afternoon on my phone before The Bachelor had even aired.
That’s Shay.
(Stay tuned for Shopping with Sheaffer and Shay next week.)
😉

Mama tries to reason with her, but there is no reasoning with her.
SHE WILL NOT BE CONSOLED.
NO MA’M.
Whhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyy?

Huhwahn tries to go talk to her, but he gets nowhere.
AND IN THE NICEST POSSIBLE WAY, he then cancels the rest of the party.
Cut to the next morning and Huhwahn let’s Victoria down easy.
Little Miss Straddle…it’s time to move along.

Time to go straddle other things.
Now it’s finally time for the Cocktail Party and Rose Ceremony.
I could write about the cocktail party, but I just don’t have the energy.  So, cut to the rose ceremony.
Is it strange that I literally don’t recognize like 3 of the girls?   Cause I don’t.
Who didn’t get a rose?
The reporter girl
Chantel
I really wish he would have sent more than 2 people home.  I mean, I just gave him 2 hours of my life…you’ve gotta send more home. 
FOR THE LOVE!
PLEASE MAKE MY TIME SPENT HERE WORTH IT!


Two MUY IMPORTANTE things before you go:
1)   
LOFT is 40% off EVERYTHING.
EV-UH-REE-THING with code GET40.
CLICK HERE.
Except if it’s already on sale…and then it’s an additional 60% off.  Wowza.
Here are a couple of my favorite things right now.
THIS shirt.  You saw it last week.
I loved it then, I love it now.
Love the stripes….love the layer…..love everything.
For size reference, I am wearing a medium.
Click HERE.

And I am ordering this suit for myself tonight!
Click HERE for the top, click HERE for the bottoms pictured.  Click HERE for a bikini bottom.
I love how at LOFT you can buy different sizes for each piece you want.
Click HERE for all swimwear and beach cover ups (LOTS of really great beach options)!
And all of it is 40% off!  Somebody hand me my sunscreen.  And a pina colada.
And while you’re at it…get me some MOTIVATION to start my program today!

 Don’t you love the details of THIS shirt?
For size reference, I’m wearing  a small.

And how could you not love these accessories and shoes?  Again, all 40% off

blue resin chain necklace HERE,  can’t find other necklace (sorry!), 3 layered stone bracelet HERE, flats HERE
And don’t forget you can click HERE to scan thru the sale items that are an additional 60% off!

2)
Check out my new necklace from Bauble Bar!
LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! 
Click HERE for the necklace. 
It looks great with my black shirt and jeans.
It would look great with a little black dress.
But I also think it would look AWESOME with some frayed jean shorts and a white v-neck.
Or a denim shirt with white jeans.
Or colored shorts with a striped shirt.
So what I guess I’m saying is that it will pretty much look fantastic with anything and everything in your closet.  And what a great thing to kick off your spring wardrobe!
And guess what, I’m going to give this one away to one of you lucky ladies!
AND, I contacted Bauble Bar and asked them if they would kick in a gift card too,
and they said “yes”!

And yes…for those of you that are wondering….
I am still wearing THE HECK out of my black MUST HAVE shirt.
I’ve probably worn it once a week since I bought it in July (and sometimes more than that).
MUST HAVE Shirt HERE
(If you are a petite, there are 2 colors of the MUST HAVE Shirt 40% off HERE.) 
MUST HAVE Jeans sold out (sorry!)
Leopard flats HERE
Necklace HERE
(Oh…and I have another shirt that I’m realllllllyyyyyy thinking about naming a MUST HAVE.  So stay tuned for that!)

OKAY!  Adios for now!
TIME TO ENTER THE BAUBLE BAR GIVEAWAY!!!!!!

Filed Under: Fashion 206 Comments

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Comments

  9. Lindsay says

    Hilarious!! I love Mama too; she comforted at least two girls that night and seems to be the voice of reason. I love that you quoted straddle girl b/c I laughed when she said it the first time but it's even funnier seeing it in black and white!!

    Reply

  10. Anonymous says

    Seriously Sheaffer. I heart you. Your post had me LOL'ing at my desk at work at 7am!! I don't even watch The Bachelor but your recaps are hysterical! You and Shay are NOT helping me stick to my beginnning of the year "no buy"!!!! – Kim W in Ohio

    Reply

  13. Alison @ Get Your Pretty On says

    Can't wait to find out what Shay was doing on that floor. Hilarious recap as always. Thanks for that reality check with the bathing suits. I think I'll be sporting a muumuu at this rate. 🙂

    Reply

  17. Meagan @ The Clanahan Fam says

    I didn't even watch the Bachelor this week and I still laughed hysterically at this post. You have a gift my friend! (P.S. I'm on a spending freeze until March. You are not making it easy 🙂 )

    Reply

  21. Julie Connelly says

    I LOOOVE your Bachelor recaps!! They have me constantly LOLing…my 5 year old kept asking me what I was laughing at! HAHAHAHA!! Very cute top & swimsuit too!! Thank you for all you do on your blog 🙂

    Reply

  22. Stacy P. says

    I'm with Meagan- I don't watch the Bachelor and I'm really enjoying your updates! I can NOT watch the show, read your updates and STILL be "in the know" when my friends (who are complete Bachelor junkies) are talking about it. Thank you for helping me feel included. lol!
    And I have a picture of my bff sliding under a dressing room door just like Shay. What does that say about our bffs? That they are AWESOME of course!

    Reply

  23. Laura says

    First of all…that striped shirt with the lace shoulders just might end up being mine at the end of the day. Secondly, am I the only person out there who just feels like she no longer cares about this show? I feel like it's the same people, same dates, same drama every single season, and it's just kind of gotten old 🙁 I still watch because, lets face it, Monday nights are pretty boring otherwise but the excitement of it all is just gone.

    Reply

  27. April Parrish says

    I'll say it again, I love your Bachelor recaps!!!! 😉
    I really need that Bauble Bar necklace! Love it!
    Have a blessed day!

    Reply

  29. clatk says

    Love this! So funny! And, since I can't manage to lose my extra 15 eight years after having my first child, I think YOU should give the workout tips! That's impressive!!

    Reply

  32. Megan McDevitt says

    Love that necklace – I'm starting to stress over my summer body as well, sigh….but I adore that swimsuit. Nordstrom is very happy that I found your blog 😉

    Reply

  34. Megan McDevitt says

    Love the necklace – and thanks for all of your "must-haves" – your posts have been a god-send….can't wait to get my latest Nordstrom order in the mail!! 🙂

    Reply

  35. Amber says

    I don't even watch the Batchelor, but I love reading your recaps! So funny! I also am starting my get ready for summer routine. Unfortunately, it's the first time I've done this since my oldest was born 5 years ago. So I've got a little farther than 15 lbs to go LOL! Good luck, and may God be with your family and friends.

    Reply

  37. Laura Fuller says

    I have to be honest. I do not watch the Batchelor until the third episode. Your re-cap is perfect. I may just have to watch it on demand now!

    Reply

  40. Anonymous says

    Readers beware!! I bought that one piece swimsuit last year because it was SO cute! I did not put sunscreen on my stomach, and I burned right through it, but in the pattern of those little oooos. I looked like a complete freak for weeks. My boys thought it was hysterical, but a two piece was out of the question until that faded enough! Just wanted to tell everyone.

    Reply

  44. Lauren Baxt says

    LOVE the necklace and LOVE your recaps. I swear I can't watch the show anymore but somehow always get sucked back in!!!

    Reply

  54. Erica says

    That Victoria girl is crazy! So glad that he got rid of her, and I totally agree about not knowing who like 3 of the girls were!

    Reply

  56. Susanne says

    I decided a long time ago that I would never watch the bachelor again…but girl I love these recap posts! Too hysterical!

    Reply

  59. Suzie says

    I love Bauble Bar. I swoon every time I see their pieces. I have not watched any of The Bachelor yet. I have it DVR'd. I can't decide if I can handle the systematic demise of my brain cells when I watch the show.

    XOXO-Suzie

    Reply

  61. Shelly M says

    You are my new favorite! I bought the leggings, scarf, and blardigan and I'm in love with it all! We don't have a Nordstroms in my state, how sad is that? I'm an online shopper! I love getting your picks! Thanks! XO
    Shelly in Idaho

    Reply

  66. Liz/happymommy says

    I look forward to these recaps each week….you are the best at these and seriously "hymen maneuver"…..I just can't stop laughing…..she was a class act that girl! I'm thinking mama won't be around for long as she basically begged for him to kiss her saying "I thought you were going to kiss me" and he gives her a hug…yeah, don't think he's quite feeling mama although she is sweet!

    Reply

  67. Kristen says

    I don't even watch the Bachelor but I love to read your recaps! You are so funny! And the necklace is beautiful!

    Reply

  68. Kristen says

    I don't even watch the bachelor but I love to read your recaps! You are so funny! And the necklace is beautiful!

    Reply

  69. Esther Ra says

    I haven't had a chance to watch the Bachelor this season, but your commentary and recap are stinkin' hilarious! You make me lol and my kids think I'm crazy! Thank you for the time you spend in entertaining us and finding us good deals! <3

    Reply

  72. kbdesign says

    I haven't been religiously watching The Bachelor this season like I normally do (packing for a move with my boyfriend who absolutely hates the show & refuses to watch with me, makes it harder to watch). I might however just like your recaps better than spending 2 hours in front of the TV! Hopefully I'll get drawn back into this season. I LOVED Sean on Emily's season and then I loved Sean's season. I started following Shay during Emily's season and i've been a follower of yours since your first post!

    I've been on the search for long tunic tops to wear with the must-have leggings. As a semi-tall girl (5'7) I havent found anything I loved within my budget that I could comfortably wear out with leggings. I loved a few of the Anthro tunics but sadly didn't buy any. I am so sad that I didn't snag up the ruffle bottom tunic.

    I can't wait to see what your next Must Have is!

    Reply

  74. Brandi says

    The hymen maneuver might be my favorite Bachelor thing of all time. I just can't stop wondering if that's what she thinks its called when she's sober…or if that was a drunken mistake!

    Reply

  76. Jessica M. says

    I've always been a LOFT fan (I worked there in college), but it's hard for me to narrow down all of the things I want! Thanks to PTMT, I just follow your lead 🙂

    Reply

  80. salcam says

    I'm so happy you are watching / recapping so I don't have to lose so many, many hours. Honestly your recaps are SO MUCH BETTER than the show itself, which is basically "cringe, cringe, cringe".

    Thanks for cringing for us all.

    And the necklace is SUCH CUTENESS. yay!

    Reply

  81. Kelsey says

    Love reading your blog and seeing the outfits you put together! I use to always browse clothing sites online but now I come to PTMT and look at your outfits, is that weird? 🙂

    Reply

  82. Meghan says

    You are spot on with your descriptions of these Bachelor ladies.
    I want more details on your 15 lbs. workout plan. I can figure out the healthy eating part, but what exercise do you do to get ready for bathing suit and shorts season?

    Reply

  83. Kelsey says

    I am buying that Loft striped and chambray shirt tonight! I'm thinking it will be fabulous with my black must have leggings!

    Reply

  86. Kim Kauffman says

    Oh I love that LOFT swimsuit. Ugh…swimsuit season is quickly approaching. Although, I will be honest we don't do a lot of swimming around her normally. But since we moved we have a really nice outdoor pool down the road so I foresee a lot more. And that necklace looks great on you! So pretty!

    Reply

  89. Tiffany {A Touch of Grace} says

    Once again another fabulous recap. When I saw Lucy all nakie the second night I thought, Sheaffer called it! I was surprised she didn't go. Gotta keep the crazy around a bit longer for the drama I guess. I have the Robin Piccone swimsuit in black and like it, although it can be a bit short for us tall girls.

    Reply

  92. RebeccaLynn17 says

    Coming back every Thursday ( even though I'm a daily reader)! Thank you for making me laugh out loud during my short lunch break from teaching my kiddos. Rave…. I would choose rave everytime!! Thanks for the laughs! And reminder about bathing suit prep time!

    Reply

  95. Meegan says

    My cousin is on the bachelor this season! She was probably one of the ones you thought "who is that girl?". Too funny!

    Reply

  97. Monica K. says

    Love that necklace! I have to admit that I am not a Bachelor watcher, BUT I love reading the commentary. Almost makes me want to watch!! 😉 Thanks for doing the giveaway!

    Reply

  98. Monica K. says

    Love that necklace! I have to admit that I am not a Bachelor watcher, BUT I love reading the commentary. Almost makes me want to watch!! 😉 Thanks for doing the giveaway!

    Reply

  106. {Hi Sugarplum!} says

    loved every word. every single word. I could just hear you saying it all as it went down….thanks for the great post and laugh this morning!

    Reply

  108. Elaine Welte says

    Thank you for the recap! I about spit out my water half way through thanks to laughter…. This season will be all sorts of crazy!

    Reply

  116. Katie says

    I actually started watching the Bachelor AGAIN after a 5 year hiatus just because I wanted to read your recaps and know what was going on. I was not disappointed….hilarious!!!

    Reply

  121. Kelly says

    Oh Sheaffer, thank you for that recap! You made me LOL numerous times. Keep up the great work. Also, in reference to yesterday's post, I'm sorry people can be so mean. You are gorgeous and YOUNG and shouldn't have to put up with crap like that. I would have been offended by the "old" comment too!

    Reply

  127. Tabatha & Michael Stimpson says

    YOU.ARE.FRIGGIN.HILARIOUS!!! I have only watched the bachelor like once and that was 2 years ago!!!! BUT YOU MY LADY make me want to watch it now!!!!

    Reply

  130. Laurie S says

    I'd love to win the Bauble Bar necklace! Love your Bachelor recaps – I'm not bothering to watch Huhwahn this season on TV. Great pic of Shay diving under the dressing room door!

    Love your blog!

    Reply

  131. Sabrina M. Rosa says

    So funny your Bachelor post. I cant stomach the show myself (I make fun of my mother for watching), but I will be reading your commentary! LOL TOo funny <3

    Reply

  134. Anonymous says

    As usual, your post was a fun read! I usually see at least part of the show so your summaries keep me up to date!
    I hope you are going to review the big wedding in a couple weeks…can't wait to watch!

    Also anxious to hear about the shopping w/ Shay!

    Jan Fisher
    jan.fisher@comcast.net

    Reply

  135. jcarpel says

    I am so happy I found your blog! You are hilarious! I just bought the must have leggings last week and love them 🙂

    Reply

  137. sfitzg2 says

    I don't even watch the Bachelor but I love your re-caps. All the fun with out all the second-hand embarrassment. 🙂

    Reply

  139. Tricia C. says

    Thanks for amusing me! Too fun! I watched the show but I still love reading our comments; they crack me up.

    P.S. Got the blardigan and wore it 3 days in a row!

    Reply

  140. Alisha Wilson says

    Hilarious post today!! I knew watching on Monday night that you were going to be all over the "Hymen" manuever!! That's some great TV!!!

    Reply

  143. Annie Cox says

    I knew as soon as the girl said "hymen" manuever that it would be talked about in your post. Hilarious! I love your recaps. I've been kind of over the Bachelor the last 2 seasons but your posts give me something to look forward to. I think we must all be in mourning of Sean no longer being on the show. 🙂

    Oh yeah…I am also loving the fact that I won the Goodnight Macaroon giftcard. I NEVER win anything. I can't wait to go shopping.

    Reply

  146. hillary says

    Thing 1. You are hysterical. I haven't had any time to watch Bachelor this season but I like your recaps better anyway.

    Thing 2. You look fabulous. I'm telling summer to get up and get here because you're ready!

    Thing 3. LOVE that crocheted swimsuit. I normally would never spend that on a suit, but anything that will play tricks on my post baby body is worth it.

    Reply

  148. Kellyann Rohr says

    You crack me up and almost make me want to watch the Bachelor! I love that necklace from Baublebar – so cute!

    Reply

  153. Lacey says

    Huhwahn Round 2 made me silently shoulder-shake laugh this morning while I was reading your blog in bed. My husband roled over, saw I was on your site, and asked if I was shopping… again. 🙂 I love that necklace!

    Reply

  157. Jamey Lindholm says

    Sheaffer…. I love reading your blog, but girl, it costs me at least $100 every time!!! I haven't clicked on a single Loft email in weeks… and now I want to buy everything they have!! ACK!
    LOOOOOOOOOOOVE your new necklace, too! I NEED IT!!!

    Reply

  161. Christina Mendoza says

    Love love love your blog per usual! I canst believe you have 15lbs to lose!! But I'm secretly happy because I have 15 to lose too and I have bought almost everything you post about and I always buy whatever size you are buying and it fits perfectly..,, so you lose 15 and I lose 15 and I'll still be able to use your size as reference! And that Penelope bathing suit is gorgeous!! Wonder if it would leave awful tan lines???? Lol thanks for the hilarious post as always! xo

    Reply

  163. Jessica Rojas says

    Sheaffer – I have been a fan of your blog since the summer but this is my first post because I just have to say this… you are absolutely hysterical and I am literally laughing out loud from your commentary. Thank for your making this show even more entertaining!

    Reply

  167. Stephanie Jennings says

    Love the recap. I didn't recognize some of the ladies, too. Hysterical. You look fabulous all the time, I'm sure you could be ready for swimsuit season immediately. 🙂

    Reply

  169. Angela Ellingson says

    Please keep us posted if you notice that $130 teal one piece swim suit has gone on sale! I want it! 🙂

    Reply

  176. Andrea says

    I swear to you…I woke my sleeping baby girl while rocking her and reading this post because I laughed SO HARD! I could not stop laughing! I have always thought you have awesome and fun taste in clothes, but you seriously are talented in the writing department, especially comedy. Can I please be your friend?! haha

    Reply

  177. Tab & Erika says

    ALERT the PRESS!!!! Blogger is letting me comment!!! WHAT?? I loved everything about this post. I actually got a little stressed. Stressed about us showing up at the pool all summer in the SAME SUIT!!! I've thought about that lace one piece ALL WINTER LONG! I'm going to have to get it this year. Maybe we can get different colors and no one will notice?? 😉

    Reply

  178. Jackie T. says

    Oh my gosh, that was an excellent review! Very funny!

    I really, really like both of the LOFT tops and I have a gift card burning a hole in my wallet, BUT I seriously need to put myself on a striped shirt moratorium…I just can't seem to get enough stripes in my wardrobe this year! Ha, who am I kidding? I will probably be at LOFT on my lunch break tomorrow…

    Reply

  179. Shelley Polarbelle says

    Ok, first I wish all those ^^^^ people above me who but everything you post before I see it would just give me a courtesy call FIRST. I mean let's be polite, people!!! Second I LOVE the Bach recaps. Hilarious!!

    Reply

  181. april says

    So, I just found this little piece of Heaven. Yeah, I know, I'm late to the party. Looking forward to future posts.

    Reply

  182. Denise K says

    I love the way you write! Your take on the Bachelor makes me want to watch it, or maybe just read your posts on it. Love the Bauble Bar necklace. I have been looking for a statement necklace for my denim shirt. I have been telling all my friends about your blog.

    Reply

  183. Denise K says

    Love your blog! I have been telling all my friends about it. I have been looking for a statement necklace and the one from Bauble Bar would be perfect for my denim shirt.

    Reply

  185. Anonymous says

    Is the denim shirt from J Crew true to size?? I looked at it when you posted it before and really like it!! I am a size 6 and have a long torso. It says a size small on the site. Would you agree??? Thanks!!! Allison Miles

    Reply

  191. Jack's Mom says

    I am literally laughing so hard that tears are streaming down my face. The only thing funnier than the anonymous blog commenter and Ryan's subsequent revelation is the my new favorite phrase of all time "The other 300 days of the year, I know in my heart of hearts that queso does in fact taste as good as skinny feels." Your girlfriend needs to make a graphic banner with that statement….pure truth. 🙂

    Reply

  198. Sharon says

    I can't find my first comment, but I love your blog, Sheaffer!! 🙂
    Just ordered myself one of those swimsuits from Nordys in navy… loved all of the great reviews, and you've not ever done me wrong so far! 🙂
    Love the Bachelor recaps too… spot on! xoxo

    Reply

  199. Morgan Soper says

    I'm not even watching the Bachelor this season but your posts are making me want to start! You're HILARIOUS! I seriously laugh out loud every time I read your blog 🙂 I'm loving the necklace as well!

    Reply

  200. Heidi Arciaga says

    Don't know if I like watching the bachelor or reading your recap more?!? Oh wait-yes I do and it's totally your recap! Love the necklace

    Reply

  202. SuperLuper says

    I would rather hear your recaps of the Bachelor than watch the show. Way better story twists and turns. And…nicknames of course 🙂

    Reply

  203. Jill @ The Pinspired Mama says

    I haven't watched the Bachelor in years, but I feel like I'm missing out!! And thanks for the swimsuit link . . . I'm on the lookout for a new one-piece!!

    Reply

  204. Christina M says

    I love your Bachelor recaps!! I literally was laughing out loud reading this one 🙂 Thanks for sharing the striped layer top from the Loft–got mine the other day! Woo hoo!

    Reply

  205. Danielle says

    Seriously, you are way too funny! Maybe you can clear something up for me…..is dog lover her job?!?! I mean, Free Spirit is obviously Lucy's job…which I am assuming means unemployed vagabond…but what exactly does a dog lover do all day? Just wondering!

    Reply

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