First of all, I just want to say that you guys totally made my week last week! I had over 300 comments on my Bachelor post on instagram, and so many of those were you tagging friends. THANK YOU SO MUCH! Growing a blog is hard work, so when y’all share it with your friends, it means so much to me! (And if we are being honest, Bachelor recaps take me a sweet forever to write, so I’m so happy to hear that y’all are enjoying them.)
Before we get started, I did a poll a couple of weeks ago to make sure the majority of you wanted me to continue to do Bachelor recaps. I thought 80% was a pretty large majority, so I will definitely keep doing them this season!
I know that I have lots of readers that don’t watch The Bachelor (y’all are smarter than the rest of us saving 2 hours a week! ha!), but I would like to encourage all of you to try to read the recaps anyway! I have lots of ladies tell me they read (AND ENJOY THEM!) and that they’ve never watched a Bachelor episode in their life! (And I typically have at least 1 non-bachelor item on Wednesday’s post, so you don’t want to miss that!)
Click HERE to see the Season Premier and meet all of the crazies ladies.
Click HERE to see episode 2. One poor girl suffered from a bit of PTSD during the episode due to a bumper car incident from her childhood. You know, because people were bumping her car. #forreal #blessherheart
All right! Let’s get started with this week!
The girls were all sitting in the sunken living room when Harrison showed up with the first date card.
The card said It’s all about the ring. The girls being invited on the date were Maquel, Jacqueline, Lauren B., Tia, Marikh, Bekah M., Bibiana, and Krystal…..and they all immediately got nervous that it was referring to a boxing or wrestling ring, and they were right. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hoping that Bibiana was going to knock the baby stripper voice right out of Krystal’s head.
Well, the GLOW ladies from the 1980s showed up and one of them was looking ROUGH. Both of them looked ridiculous. But here’s something you should know about these women. They take their jobs as Bachelor wrestling coaches VERY seriously. And you definitely shouldn’t laugh or talk back to them. #justaskBibiana
Arie talked about the “wrestling fight” that was about to go down (hand over your man card, Arie), and almost immediately the 80’s GLOW ladies started to pick fights with Arie’s women. I think they were supposed to be inspiring them to wrestle, but it just came off as plain mean to me. I mean, I know they were “in character”, but it was just stupid.
AND LORD HELP US, Bibiana talked back to them. One of the GLOW ladies came back at her by making fun of her name and talking smack about her mom. And then one of them pulled Tia’s ponytail. UM, NO M’AM. Don’t pull on my weave.
All the girls were sent backstage to choose their wrestling costumes and alter egos (more about this in a minute), and Arie was waiting for his opponent for his “wrestling fight” dressed as The Kissing Bandit….although I’m pretty sure when they ordered the costume from costumes.com that it was called The Hamburgler.
So, the Hamburgler was up first, and he was going to face off with Pretty Boy Pitbull Kenny Kingdon!!!! Basically, Kenny threw Arie around like a rag doll. See The Hamburglers legs in the air? It wasn’t pretty.
After the smack down, where Kenny actually ended up letting Arie “win”, it was time for the girls to fight, and they were going to do so in front of a live audience! A live audience that they apparently picked up at the local Luby’s. I would say the median age was about 76.
Rizzo was into it and chose a sex kitten as her alter ego. You could tell she thought she looked HOT in her zip up cat unitard. But I’ve gotta say, to me she just looked like she needed her mommy to give her a sack before sending her out the door to go trick-or-treating. She looked 12. Which will serve her well when she’s 60.
She faced The Lunch Lady (Raquel) complete with a lunch tray, a hair net, and a drawn on mole. I MEAN. HIGH FIVE TO RAQUEL FOR GOING FOR IT WITH THE COSTUME. My favorite part of all the matches was when Raquel danced around the ring with the lunch tray and then pinned Rizzo against the ground with it.
Krystal (The Cougar) almost murdered the Prom Queen in the ring with blunt force trauma to the head.
And then these two did a very awkward sensual type dance instead of actually wrestling. Just look how uncomfortable the ref was.
At the group date cocktail party, Krystal took Arie away first. #becauseduh #krystal
And she was wearing a shirt again. As a dress. Actually, this time it was more of a cami. AS A DRESS. Oh, wait. It was a romper. WHEW. I was glad the romper wouldn’t allow us to see her hoo-ha, but I continued to worry about chafing.
In her best baby stripper voice, she asked Arie how he wanted her to behave on group dates, and he basically said “you do you, Boo”. Krystal’s take away? Arie wants to marry her, he hates all the other girls, and she should totally be more aggressive if she wants to be. This should be fun.
During Bibiana’s time with Arie, she chose to talk about Krystal a bit. Tsk tsk, Bibiana. It’s way too early to be bad-mouthing the other girls. And you can tell by the look on Arie’s face, he was annoyed. Hello, side eye.
Rizzo and Arie hung out on a couch, and I didn’t see their tongues, which I appreciated. I mean, it was blocked by his hand and her jean jacket collar, BUT STILL. It was appreciated. She told him that she’d been in a relationship that lasted like 2 1/2-3 years. So basically she “went with” a guy from like 6th-9th grade.
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The next day by the pool, Krystal was telling one of the long last Kardashian sisters that she’s basically never been a girl’s girl. YOU DON’T SAY. And that she’s had to endure so much her whole life, and that her friend’s boyfriends break up with her friends because they always wanted to date her, and that this experience would be no different because she already knows that she and Arie have something special.
Shaking. My. Head.
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The next date card arrived, and Lauren S had her name called. WHO?
The card said “You had me at merlot”. I’m thinking Lauren must be one smart cookie, because she said “I think it has to do with wine.”
They headed to Napa on a private plane. And y’all. I’ve pretty much got nothing to report. The chemistry was lacking, and the conversation was boring. How boring you ask? Well, they talked about bedtimes and cardigans. The only thing missing was a discussion on bowel movements. BUT. Lauren thought they were probably meant to be together because they both like sleeping and they both like going to wineries. Lauren, you just described EVERY SINGLE WOMAN I know. Throw in a guy that vacuums and you’ve just described every woman’s fantasy life.
Later that night, the conversation flowed more freely, but only from Lauren’s mouth. The girl couldn’t stop talking. She was bouncing all of the place, had no common thread between topics, and at one point I’m certain I heard her mention an eye infection. Not typical first dinner date fodder. Then something happened that I’m not sure if I’ve EVER seen happen on a 1:1 dinner date. WAIT FOR IT……. Arie started eating. Yep, eating actual food. UH -OH. That was not a good sign.
He picked up the rose. He PICKED IT UP, and then he said “I’m sorry, but I can’t give you this.” It was harsh.
The intern opened the door at the mansion, grabbed Lauren’s suitcase, and audible gasps were heard throughout the crowd. Some of the girls started crying, but Krystal felt that this was the right time for her to school the other ladies. She started off eulogizing Lauren by calling her “an amazing beautiful soul”. Krystal. She’s not dead. And then she said she wanted to give everybody some advice since she’d been both on a group date and a 1:1. Her ground breaking advice was basically to live each moment to it’s fullest when you are with Arie, because you never know when it might be your last. This quite certainly cemented everybody’s hatred for our resident baby stripper.
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The next group date arrived and the names on the card were: Ashley, Becca K., Brittany, Jenna, Caroline, Chelsea, and Annaliese. The card said “Love is rough.” OH, WAIT. No, the card said “Love is RUFF.” And y’all, Annaliese immediately got sweaty pits. Because….you guessed it… she had a traumatic experience with a pup in childhood.
Please, join me in making this face.
She, and I quote, “almost lost an eye.” when her grandparent’s dog named Sunshine turned on her. I’d be much more likely to take her fear seriously if she wasn’t the same girl who had suffered from PTSD from the bumper car incident.
So, on her Bachelor questionairre, Annaliese obviously said that her greatest fears were cars and puppies. Because it’s WAY TO MUCH of a coincidence that both of these random fears had now been exploited.
LADIES READING. THIS IS MY PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. When applying for The Bachelor, when it says, “What are your fears?” you say “tacos and diamonds”. Repeat after me. TACOS AND DIAMONDS.
I will say this, the Bachelor producers did another flashback piece, and they used this dog.
And now I think I’m afraid of dogs too.
The dog show was woefully underwhelming, but they walked into the joint like it was going to be amazing.
Well, it wasn’t. Dogs didn’t perform tricks, children cried, pups pooped, and doggy style jokes were made. It was a new low for the franchise.
At the group date rooftop cocktail party, he spent some time with each girl. And as we heard Annaliese telling the camera that he “seemed a little off” and there “didn’t seem to be much sexual chemistry”, it showed him muggin’ down with Olivia 2.0.
The only other takeaway I have from the group date cocktail part was that I’m continuing to REALLY LIKE Becca K. Because she’s NORMAL. She’s relaxed when she’s with him and they seem to genuinely be having a good time.
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ROSE CEREMONY COCKTAIL PARTY TIME!
Bibiana set up a day bed with candles and a telescope to try to have some alone time with Arie.
BUT DANG THOSE SNEAKY LITTLE PRODUCERS. No doubt that they told Arie to go to the front driveway with one of the girls where he just happened to stumble upon Bibiana’s set up. He then proceeded to pretty much take every single girl there. Every girl EXCEPT Bibiana.
Tia and Arie got some time together, and he’d set up a perfect redneck date night, complete with hay bales and moon shine. I can guarantee that my friend Keely’s heart went pitter patter, because this set up was speaking her language! Love you, Keely!
And then Annaliese stole him away to basically beg him for a kiss. Y’ALL!!!! IT WAS SO AWKWARD!!!!! He said “I just don’t think we’re there yet.” The kissing bandit refused a kiss. It was painful.
And I’m not sure who this girl is. But Jane Doe here straddled him in a floor length white dress. She also drank so much that I’m pretty certain she almost puked on him in the 2.3 seconds before she straddled him.
Annaliese, obviously troubled by the fact that he turned down a kiss from her, went to find him again. Rizzo spoke for all of America when she said “I literally can’t watch.”
Annaliese point blank asked him if he saw a future with her. And his answer? A flat out NO. Whahhhhhhhhh! I felt so sorry for her! Through tears, she told us that she felt scared that she was never going to find love. So, this poor girl is scared of bumper cars, puppies, and never finding love.
Arie went ahead and escorted her out, and after she left, this is an actual conversation I heard between some of the girls.
Analiese left?
What?
She left?
Yes. She left.
Like, Left?
Yep.
Left left?
Yes. She left.
In case you are confused. The girl left.
Olivia 2.0 and Rizzo already had roses. And he had already let Lauren and Annaliese go.
These are the girls who got roses: Caroline (WHO?), Kendall., Ashley (WHO), Lauren., Brittany, Becca K (YAY!), Sienne, Krystal, Tia, Raquel (I mean, I recognize her name..but that’s all.), Jane Doe, and Jacqueline,
It was down to Bibiana and the long last Kardashian sister. The long last Kardashian got the rose.
And I actually felt terrible for Bibiana.
That’s it for this week’s recap..but before you go, two things….
1) Did y’all see Monday’s post? It’s a Style it Again, Sheaffer post, and I show you 2 different ways to style 3 different tops. I also highlighted these high waisted jeans. I LOVE them, but I talked about how I didn’t love the rip below one of the knees. Well, a reader wrote in and said the following: Take the jeans to Nordstrom and have alterations put a patch” behind the rip. I did that with the famous AG jeans from 2 years ago and I love the look. Their alteration dept can do some amazing things. Stef! That’s genius! Totally doing this!
For size reference, I’m wearing my regular 27.
grey pullover / earrings / high waisted jeans/ sneakers (similar sneakers with better stock HERE)
2) I’ve got a SALE ALERT for you!
I’ve talked many times before about how the entire line of Gibson fleece tops is STELLAR, and the side tie style is NOW ON SALE!
I have a cowl neck from last year…and this year I added a twist front, a side tie, and a front tie to the mix. To some, it might sound crazy that I have 3, but they all look very different. Seriously. They are all a wonderfully light fleece material that is oh so cozy without being too heavy.
These tops look great on their own, but they are PERFECT FOR LAYERING since they aren’t bulky. And each style comes in a myriad of colors! Oh, and perhaps most importantly….FLATTERING AS ALL GET OUT.
The tie front top is in the outfit below and also comes in turquoise, wine, and blush. I’m wearing a small and have plenty of room. The site suggests sizing down, but I went with my regular small. I’m also wearing my regular size 27 in the jeans, but the site recommends sizing down in these as well.
tie front top / white jeans /slim profile UGG boots
See you back here on Friday, everybody!
Susan Jeffries says
This season is the most awkward yet! It is basically teaching my 17 year old daughter how not to act on a date. Although she did mention that she wanted to apply to be on the show so she could stay at that house and hang out with a bunch of friends for a few weeks. Maybe get some free expensive shoes. #smartgirl. Thanks for the laugh this morning! Your recaps make my day better(:
Erika Slaughter says
I felt awful for Annaliese-like I’m positive my hands were over my face when she was begging for a kiss!!
Natashajk says
I have never watched The Bachelor/The Bachelorette. BUT I have read every single one of your recaps so there is that.
Michelle says
Your Bachelor reviews make my Wednesday mornings!
Narci says
I didn’t get to watch this week, but this was hysterical and has me all caught up! Too funny! Great recap, girl!
Adrienne says
Oh my gosh I haven’t watched the Bachelor in years, but I always read your reviews too and this sounds utterly ridiculous and hilarious!! Are they getting that desperate for ideas for the show now? And ladies still actually want to go on there?? Hahahahahah keep these up Sheaffer, they’re great!
Nicola says
It looks like the twist front Gibson top is on sale too.https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/gibson-twist-front-cozy-fleece-pullover-regular-petite/4867208?origin=related-4867208-0-1-FTR-RRRecs-RecentHistoricalItems&recs_placementId=FTR&recs_source=RRRecs&recs_strategy=RecentHistoricalItems&recs_referringPageType=home&vendorClickUrl=a%3D469cc5818c1eb6ac%26cak%3D3c86c35d5f315680%26vg%3D449619e9-bc95-4334-c5f6-94584108789d%26stid%3D1000079%26pti%3D9%26pa%3D3748%26pos%3D0%26p%3D5301188_2%26channelId%3D3c86c35d5f315680%26s%3D00aadbc4-7ccf-48a1-905c-76dba13c5b5a%26u%3D44f7df2d82e74872b0e24a5521aa2412%26mvtId%3D30205%26mvtTs%3D1516193691821
Sheaffer says
Thanks for letting me know, Nicola!!!!
Heather Stanton says
Yay you! I’ve been wondering what to do with my beloved distressed jeans that the threads finally give up! Can you ask your reader that got the patch to post a picture??
Sheaffer says
Hi, Heather! She had just left a comment on a post. I can go back and find the comment and see if she’ll respond to my request! xoxo, Sheaffer 🙂
Monica says
I don’t watch the show but L O V E your recaps!!! ???? and ???? … got it!!!
Calypso in the Country says
Hilarious! Reading your recaps are as fun as watching the show!
Cheers!
Shelley
Mary says
Hi Sheaffer! You are always so good about mentioning plus size options, so I wanted to let you know that some of the Gibson fleece tops are now available in plus size. I am tempted to try one since you love them so much!
Sheaffer says
Good to know! Thanks, Mary!!! xoxo
Gina says
Love your recaps!! Hamburgler…ha! The group dates this season are so bad. Those GLOW women were scary (and rough)! Krystal’s baby/stripper voice really grates on my nerves…..like nails on a chalkboard.
Meghan says
I love your recaps – especially on the weeks I can’t sit through the awkwardness of it all. When’s your next “Let’s Get Healthy” check in? I’m trying to make that my weigh in day as well to keep me accountable.
Sheaffer says
Hi, Meghan! I’m actually not doing weigh ins this year. I haven’t even weighed myself at all! I’ve been at it about 10 days I think….and based upon how my clothes are fitting and the difference I see in my face, I bet I’ve lost about 3 pounds…which I’m very happy with for about 10 days. I’ve worked out 8/10 days, and I’ve been SUPER dedicated with the healthy eating! xoxo, Sheaffer 🙂
lacey says
I love your bachelor recaps!! I’m also currently very pregnant so I haven’t been visiting as often. It’s depressing since I’m mostly only fitting maternity but I’ll be back!
cassie {hi sugarplum} says
Another hilarious recap! I was so excited for Arie because of the whole wall/kissing bit, but actually it’s kind of grossing me out!! Can you even imagine what the kissing will be like if he actually proposes to someone?!?!
Melinda says
I haven’t watched the bachelor in probably 10 years, but I LOVE your recaps!!! Keep them coming 🙂
Laci says
I was cringing for Annaliese, like REALLY cringing!! I love your recaps and the blog of course!
MicheleS says
I think Annaliese was just selected because they didn’t want to traumatize her even more! She’s been painful to watch. I was surprised that Babiana was sent home, she was fun to watch and I was really wanting more fireworks between her & Krystal. And I really felt bad for Lauren S….it’s a bad feeling when you know it’s tanking and you can’t right the ship lol
Christine says
I stopped watching the Bachelor years ago (except for Sean’s season), but I LOVE reading your recaps. And by default, my hubby loves your recaps too because now he doesn’t get forced to sit in front of a TV with Bachelor on it (even if he would just be on his phone.) So, Thanks and Keep ’em coming!
Amanda says
I’m in the 80%! Reading these recaps is just as fun as watching the show- if not more. As I’m watching I always think “I can’t wait to see what Sheaffer is going to say about this!”
Annie says
I was watching last night (cringing, obviously) and thinking “my word I can’t WAIT to see Sheaffer’s recap on this hot mess!” LOVE reading them!
Lisa Osborn says
Sheaffer I live for Wednesday mornings too! I check your post before I do anything else so I can read it before I rush off to school. You totally crack me up girl! You are spot on and my friends and I would love to watch an episode live with you ;-). I can only imagine how long the post must take you, believe me when I hear someone say they are a bachelor/bachelorette fan I make sure they know about your blog.
I too appreciate you giving plus size options, your healthy meals ideas and your decorating posts. Keep up the good work!
Frozen in Houston!
Keisha Dawson says
Arie was one of my favorites when I watched years ago, but I just don’t have time to watch now. I love your recaps! Keep them coming!
Nicole McKee says
I love, love, love your Bachelor recaps! This is probably my first time posting a comment, but I just had to! Although this past episode was rather underwhelming, I think your recap made it that much better!
I don’t know about you, but Annaliese made me anxious and scared of everything by just watching her. And, if I ever have a friend that is applying to be on the Bachelor, I’ll definitely tell them to be afraid of TACOS and DIAMONDS. Lol!
By the way, I think Raquel is actually Maquel. And I may not have even spelled her name right!
And I am certainly worried that Arie seeming to be the nice guy out of the gate will eventually turn into a jerky kind of guy by the end of it all. But, maybe that’s just me!
Sarah says
Your recaps make my day better!!!! Don’t know when last I watched this show but I absolutely love your reviews!! Keep them coming 🙂 xo
Shay Shull says
Yes, yes, YES!! I look forward to these every single day!!
Shay Shull says
I meant to type week…as you can see…my enthusiasm is HUGE 😉
Toni :0) says
Hilarious recap and it’s the highlight of my week. I just shared your blog with two other friends who watch the show. Keep up the great work as I know it’s time intensive but it gives us a good laugh and we appreciate it.
Kim says
I also am rooting for Becca. She must be a smart girl and is afraid of designer gowns/shoes and diamonds.
Rhonda says
I thought I was going to love watching Arie because like Cassie above I loved his kiss with Emily, but his kissing is just too much for me. He kisses every girl like he has been on a desert island for years. It’s too intimate and thus makes me distrust him. And I haven’t seen much personality from him yet. Hopefully more later. I remember him being funny and charming on Emily’s season. I just wanted to mention also that I think Raquel is actually Maquel with an “M”. She was the Lunch Lady wrestler. I really look forward to your recaps and sometimes just skip episodes and catch up with your Wednesday recap!
Amanda says
Keep the recaps coming! I laughed out loud reading this. And this week’s episode was so awkward and cringe-worthy. You nailed it with the Ashley I. face too!
Gail W. says
Just one question – what the heck is ‘Luby’s?
Sheaffer says
Hi, Gail! It’s a cafeteria chain in Texas! 🙂
Sheila Charbonneau says
Don’t watch the show, but SO look forward to The Bachelor recaps! Oh, my goodness! Tacos and Diamonds. I died. Gonna get me a side-tie shirt today, thanks Sheaffer!
Jessica says
OH…MY…WORD! I laughed out loud multiple times reading your recap! Thanks for a fun break from work today! 🙂
Lori says
Raquel’s name is actually Maquel…. lol
Amy T says
I’ve watched The bachelor a couple seasons, not always all the way through….but then I started reading your posts and I don’t feel like there is a need to watch anymore…I laugh way more reading your posts! Maybe you need to have a bachelor viewing party and we can convince the producers to come crash!
Angela Ellingson says
Love your recaps! Some of this is just so painful to watch – I feel like more than ever. I even had to fast forward his time making out with Krystal. I just can’t. lol
Suzanne says
Please don’t ever stop the Bachelor recaps! They are awesome!!!! (I didn’t get a chance to vote yes or no) 😉
Love your blog, your emails and your precious family!
God bless!
Vanessa warren says
Once again you don’t disappoint , not as funny last week , but you hit all the funny moments with best lines. Loved the description of the glow girls and Arie costume.
Thanks for again for all laughs
Yes please keep doing it.
Katie A says
I couldn’t finish the show this week, I seriously had to turn it off when Krystal was talking ????. Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard ????! Bibiana is a little bit hood and scared me. Too bad she went home though because I’d have bet on the fact that she and Krystal would have gone at it! Thanks for the recaps, i LOVE then!
Laura says
I agree with you, the whole picking on Bibiana’s name was a new LOW. It is never nice to make fun of someone’s name. And, what kind of guy likes seeing girls fight? That whole date was a train wreck from the beginning. Overall, I think all of the girls were good sports about it.
Ann says
I don’t watch The Bachelor. I might have watched early on, but I don’t remember. BUT…your recaps are hilarious!!
Grace says
I love love love your bachelor recap posts! I’ve got my Monday night viewing crew hooked on them too! You have a special way of describing the girls, we are especially loving Krystal as Baby Stripper! Hope that you will be recapping The Bachelor Winter Games!!
ER says
I don’t watch The Bachelor but I LOVE your recaps. They are the best!
Lynn Duncan says
I seriously was cringing and worried about head of back injuries!
And you made a good point about the glow girls bullying and belittling. And the one using a cane looked worn out.
Crystal is claiming that she had a voice changing cold. (Which undoubtedly was passed to all missed by Arie)
Annaliese needs to meet Buddy and Charlie to get over her fear of dogs..
Heidi says
Loving your recap as usual! I love watching the drama just because I can’t wait to see what you have to say about it! Did you notice this week that tink/Rizzo actually wore a bra at one point? I was so proud of her for finally taking that step to becoming a woman!
KJM says
But someone needs to tell her that she can wear a bra and a shirt at the same time! You don’t have to choose between them! 😀
Kristen says
I LOVE your Bachelor recaps, you are hilarious and your comments are right on! Please keep your recaps coming, I’m not sure I can keep watching this season, I can’t bear to see Arie kissing…it grosses me out…and he’s becoming kinda creepy. 🙁
Kaci says
I don’t watch the bachelor but I’m dying with these recaps! So funny!
Lisa says
WHAT?! You were seriously considering not writing these recaps anymore?! So glad you came to your senses 🙂 I honestly think I like your recaps more than the show! I literally laugh out loud while I’m reading, multiple times, you’re hysterical!! Thank you for posting these each week, they are greatly appreciated 🙂
Mikala says
I also do not watch the Bachelor (and wasn’t part of the original poll) but I highly anticipate your heeelarious reviews each week to catch me up to speed! Your witty commentary makes my day … we should be friends … but not in a creepy stalker way! I also love all of your fashion recommendations, of which I’ve purchased many, and your family and pups are adorable. Keep on with the recaps!
Amanda says
I have skipped a couple of seasons recently (ahem, Nick), but loved Arie on Emily’s season. I’m a little underwhelmed with the season so far, but your recaps definitely add a positive spin! My friend and I will send screenshots back and forth of some of our favorite quotes or pictures you post! Thank you for continuing to do this season after season.
Also, my husband likes your doppelganger choices for Rizzo (what is her real name again?!), but swears she’s a Betty Boop lookalike lol
Sheaffer says
Yes! I told Chris Betty Boop on Monday!!!!! So funny!!!! xoxo, Sheaffer 🙂
Kara Messner says
Your recaps are THE BEST!! I specifically am watching this season ONLY so I can follow your recaps and laugh hysterically. Thanks for doing these.
Cindy says
Diamonds & Tacos, repeat after me Diamonds & Tacos, LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL funniest thing I ever read!!
Jennifer Davis says
Thanks for all the work/time you put in for the Bachelor Recap. I truly enjoy it. You should have a podcast on the recap…it’s that funny.
Lisa G. says
It would be a tragedy if you stopped the Bachelor recaps.
Tamara says
Hamburglar!! Lol! Dying laughing! I look forward to these recaps every week!
Jen says
I wait all week for your next Bachelor post!! They are brilliant and make me roll laughing!!!!
Nellie says
Sheaffer, I found your blog because of your bachelor recaps and became a fan of your style/fashion blogging as a result. Keep up the good work, your effort is appreciated!
Stephanie Hannon says
I don’t think I can stomach watching him suck face with everyone and anyone this season. Glad I can come here and get caught up! Thanks for always making us laugh!
Diana says
You have OUTDONE yourself this time! Excellent recap! Laughed all the way through! BRAVO!
Danielle says
I have NEVER watched The Bachelor, but I NEVER miss your recaps. They are hilarious. I share them with friends far and wide. Keep up the great work!
April Parrish says
You are hilarious coming up with this stuff! I missed the first 30 munutes(stupid DVR) so this recap definitely helped. I’m so anxious to find out how old “Rizzo” is. I’m thinking 19!
Have a great day!
Lynn Duncan says
Beckah is 22.
Paige E says
I have never watched The Bachelor and I LOVE these recaps!!! You are just too funny. I’d rather have the recaps than the show. Kind of like watching Sports Center instead of a whole baseball or football game. You rock!
Kacie says
Another great review! Your thoughts were almost right on to what my hubby and I thought of this weeks show. No chemistry on that first solo date, and the group dates… so weird. Why can’t he just go on group dates with 4-5 girls? We still love Becca as she is down to earth – and I hope she makes it far. Still not a fan of Krystal, and she may be worse than how they portrayed Chelsey to be right away. And that girl in the white dress, ha. Hubby rewound tat part SO many times to see what she did because we just couldn’t believe it. She was definitely drunk and basically lost it before continuing the make-out session. So weird. Thanks producers for keeping that in for us all to see. But, not cool producers for not letting Bibiana use her date idea on Arie… I hope he eventually found out that it was her idea. Not that it may have changes his mind, but still.
Can’t wait for more reviews!
Andrea says
Omg! Your recap is so Funny! I don’t watch the show, and now I don’t have to. I’m just gonna keep up with your recaps! I was literally crying! Haha
Janay says
I have never seen a single episode of The Bachelor Or The Bachelorette and I am straight up addicted to your recaps! I’m still chuckling about the Hamburglar reference…so on point!
Sherita says
I’ve never watched a single episode of either show, but I LIIIIIVE for your recaps!! Clearly, your recaps are better than the actual show, and I’m glad you decided to continue suffering through the awkwardness for us. Thanks and keep the recaps coming!
Lindsay H says
I was hoping you caught the eating because as I watched, I just about fell out of my chair when they showed eating!
I listen to the Ashley I and Ben Higgins podcast and I couldn’t believe they didn’t mention the eating, but they did have Annaleise on who helped explain her fear of dogs a little more. And she gave dirt on Arie and Krystal!
So glad you did a poll and the majority of your readers say do Bach recaps!
Sheaffer says
Dirt on Arie and Krystal? DO TELL!!!!! 🙂
Olivia says
Oh geez I am literally wiping tears from my face that was so funny! This episode was probably one of the top 3 dumbest in the show’s history and this recap was perfect.