Sheaffer Told Me To

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Bachelor Episode 8: Breakin’ The Rules

By 58 Comments

WELL IT’S ABOUT CORN PICKIN’ TIME!
The Bachelor cast and crew FINALLY pack up and leave the good ol’ U.S. of A. behind.
THEY’RE GOIN’ TO BALI Y’ALL!

Chris is down to three girls:
Whitney, Kaitlyn, and Becca
And you know what that means.  Time for overnight dates.

First up, Kaitlyn and her bootie shorts.
UM.
 PRODUCTION!  
WHERE THE HECK IS THE BLACK BOX?
I give Kaitlyn’s running jump mount a 7.5. 
It would have been higher, but I had to deduct an entire point for having to look at her hiney fold.

Doesn’t everybody know that the hiney needs proper coverage when
 performing this move?  It’s gotta be in the handbook. or something.

They walk through a little village, and Kaitlyn’s “shorts” are probably causing Balinese government officials to draft some sort of Balinese dress code.

 But I’ve gotta say, I’m really enjoying the coral, black and turquoise combo.

They walk through the streets of Bali and all of  a sudden find themselves in the middle of a monkey village.
#monkeyseverywhere
#oohoohahah
Without any type of warning, a rather large monkey mounts up on Chris and perches on his shoulder.  I would have FREAKED THE FREAK OUT.

They play around with the monkeys awhile, and Kaitlyn says she wishes she could just go after what she wants just like the monkeys go after the bananas.  I know the Bachelor franchise is all about metaphors, but this one seems like a stretch.


Enough of the monkey business.
They head to dinner,  Kaitlyn kind of confesses she’s falling in love with him, but their dinner is just kind of eh.
Not good, not bad, just eh.

If you’re a regular PTMT reader, shrug and tilt.


They head to the fantasy suite.
It’s here that she really confesses that she’s falling in love with him.
And he responds “You know, I’m falling in love with you as well.”
WAIT.
WHAT?
SINCE WHEN CAN THE BACHELOR RESPOND TO THIS?
SINCE WHEN CAN HE SAY THE WORD LOVE TO A GIRL?
I mean, I know this is the “season of no rules”, but come on!




IT’S BABY MAKIN’ TIME.  AKA WHITNEY’S DATE.
And right out of the gate, I’m going to score her a 9.6 on the whole run and jump maneuver.
Sister has some serious ups.
Look at the air her legs are catching!



They climb on a boat for wine and a picnic.
And the Bali air is not doing Whitney’s hair any favors.
They make out on the boat. A lot.
I’m not a fan at all of her frosty pink lipstick, but I do think these two belong together.
And don’t look now, but Whitney needs a black box too!
WHITNEY!  I NEVER WOULD HAVE IMAGINED THAT YOU WOULD REQUIRE A BLACK BOX.
I’m not mad at you Whitney. I’m just disappointed.



They head to dinner and Whitney is wearing a highlighter yellow maxi dress.
And she’s somehow pulling it off.
Chris immediately jumps in and tackles the elephant in the room:  the fact that Whitney has a real live job that she happens to love.
He goes on to say “There’s NOTHING to do in Arlington”, and for a moment, it looks like Whitney might throw up.
But she rallies and said that even though she loves her career, she’s not fully happy with just the career.  She says if she moves to Arlington, she would leave her career and that having babies and being a mom would be her job.
CHRIS.
STOP EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW AND GIVE NEIL LANE A CALL.
LET’S MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

Time for Becca’s date!


We’re 2 seconds into it, and I have to give the Whitney side-eye to Becca’s outfit.
Are those plastic shorts?
If they are, then she clearly needs to turn the waistband over once.  Because DUH.
(Please tell me the girls out there my age did this when donning their plastic shorts at NCAA cheerleader camp?  Anyone?  Anyone?)
If they’re not plastic, are they leather?
Neither option is good.

They sit down in front of a couple of wise men from the community.
One guy is apparently the village psychic.
The advice they give to Chris and Becca?
“Do the big wiggle.”
Okay, so maybe that’s not a direct quote, but it’s definitely the gist.



Becca’s like Allllllllllllllrighty Then and kind of wants to just die right there on the spot.





They hop in a stream, and make out.
And I start getting nervous about the maybe leather shorts.



Because if they are in fact leather, we might have a Ross incident on our hands.
A good Friend’s reference never gets old. Am I right?
THE LOTION AND THE POWDER ARE MAKING A PASTE!

They head to dinner, and I am IN LOVE with Becca’s outfit.
A pleated short maxi, simple gold disc necklace, cognac wedges, and beachy hair?  YES, PLEASE!

The girl is looking GORG.
She is sunkissed and Beautiful.
And they both basically admit that they love each other.
I’m confused.
Because he’s also told the same thing to Kaitlyn and Whitney.
CHRIS.  PICK A GIRL. ANY GIRL.
Becca then reiterates to the camera how she’s choosing to wait until marriage.
BUT THEN she says something about temptation, and ” who knows what will happen” in the fantasy suite.
BECCA.  LISTEN TO ME.
Do NOT even think about doing the Big Wiggle with this guy when he still has 2 other girlfriends!
  NO. WIGGLING. ALLOWED.



They head to the fantasy suite, and she finally admits to Chris that she is a virgin.
Don’t be ashamed Becca!
BE LOUD AND PROUD!
Chris’s initial reaction can best be described as stunned silence.
But he pulls it together and says he admires that.
Whew.
Virgin’s everywhere breathe a sigh of relief.


All the dates are done, and our Prince is SERIOUSLY confused.
Kaitlyn and Whitney have shared the fact that they are falling in love with him AND that they are willing to move to Arlington. 
Becca hasn’t committed to Arlington yet, and that leaves Chris wondering.
It’s pretty obvious that he has some real feelings for all 3 girls, and it’s actually
 pretty dang sweet.



Prince Farming talks to his wise advisor, Harrison.
Harrison basically just agrees that our young Prince is in a quandary.
#norealadvicethere

Time for another rose ceremony.
The two men meet at yet another temple rocking their karate/bus boy finest and Hush Puppies.
This might be the season of NO RULES, but this sacred temple, well it does in fact have rules.  Holding hands is the only affection allowed.  Noted.

The girls are dressed in local garb and looking lovely.  Because even though it wasn’t specifically mentioned, I’m guessing no bootie shorts are allowed in the sacred temple and therefore production “got involved” to assure that said bootie shorts wouldn’t show up by providing these authentic Balinese dresses.
Well played Bachelor interns, WELL PLAYED.



I would like to point out Whitney’s beautiful bone structure, her perfect top knot, and the colorful studs.
GIRLS!  Don’t they look awfully similar to our favorite $8 earrings?
(More on the earrings again in a minute…..)

Chris stands in front of the girls, stumbles over lots of words, and has lots of awkward pauses.
He then asks Becca if he can see her for a moment.
Kaitlyn basically starts doing a happy dance and the girls try to not high 5 each other and scream “LOSER!” at Becca on her way out.


But in a twist, Chris walks back WITH BECCA.
And Kaitlyn is all “Ohhhhhhh Shoooooooot.”

He gives the roses to Whitney…..and Becca.
And Kaitlyn is STUNNED.
AND YOU CAN’T BLAME THE GIRL!
Because if you remember, he broke the rules and told her was falling in love with her!
He walks her away, clutches her to his chest, and says “I’m sorry.”
He says lots of other things too in a whisper.
And Kaitlyn is REELING.
He talks….and talks….and talks….
And she just looks around in disbelief.  
He finally loads her up in the rejection minivan, and she is heartbroken.  I feel just awful for her.  You can tell that Chris does too.

While driving in the mini, she says she’s humiliated and confused, and that it really blows her mind.
She feels betrayed, and who can blame her.
That’s all right Kaitlyn, you’re the real winner here, because you aren’t going to be living in Arlington.
In times such as this, it’s best to remember what Garth says.
Some of God’s Greatest Gifts, are Unanswered Prayers.
You just weren’t built for farm life Kaitlyn.  
#garthknows


AND THEN…..I REALIZE THAT NEXT WEEK IS THE WOMEN TELL ALL!!!!!!
And I cannot even imagine what’s going to take place between these girls….but I know this…
Harrison will handle it all like the professional he is.


If you need to catch up on previous weeks recaps, please do so by click HERE!


Now….a little bit of fashion and a GIVEAWAY reminder before you leave today….

I posted these on facebook on Sunday, but in case you don’t follow me there, listen up girls!
 I found these wedges at Nordstrom a couple of weeks ago, and the second I put them on my feet, I was in love. I was SO EXCITED! 2 years ago I had the MUST HAVE Callisto wedges, but I never found a wedge last year that even came close in comfort and/or function. WELL. NOW I HAVE.
However, there’s 1 problem. I’ve been waiting to post these until I found out how well they were stocked (since several sizes are already sold out). Well, I got the word over the weekend that the stock on these babies is low. I don’t know exactly how low, but I do know that once the neutral color sells out, it’s gone, and they won’t be re-ordering. 
As you can see, there are two styles. I bought the top right ones in store (the single large strap), and then I got home and ordered the criss-cross ones too to see if the sizing was the same and which ones I preferred. I kept that single large strap. They are both TRUE TO SIZE.
The shoes are VERY comfortable and they are the perfect size heel for me. They give me the height I desire, but I’m not unsteady on them at all. They are very easy to walk in and are definitely comparable to the Callisto MUST HAVE wedges from two years ago, but an updated look. I LOVE the rope detailing on the wedge, and the neutral color will pair perfectly with just about whatever you want it to!
LOVE. THESE. WEDGES
*single large strap wedge HERE (sizes selling out)
*criss cross wedge HERE (fully stocked)
*BP $12 cami (I have the medium) HERE 
*White tee (I have the small) HERE
*jeans similar HERE (same maker, just cuff them at the bottom!)
*agate necklace HERE

single large strap wedge HERE / criss cross wedge HERE 

The above wedges also come in black, red, yellow (in the criss cross style), and a floral.

Speaking of wedges, I pinned these on Pinterest last week, and they got the most re-pins of any of my pins for the entire week. I also got several e-mails from ladies who already had them or who ran to the store and bought them…..and everybody seems to be in love.

  They are UGGs (so they are totally comfortable), and I love the fun leopard pattern!
They have a good heel height (high, but not so high I that I might roll an ankle….I really do feel that way with some shoes) and true to size, kind of.
I’m normally a 6 or a 6 1/2, and the 6s were perfect in these.
Click HERE for the leopard wedges.
#meow
And yes….I was wearing my camo pants….again.
And they are ON SALE again…this time for $32.99.

Take another look at those wedges.

Yep…..they’re fab.  A super fun and sassy neutral!
HOW FLIPPING CUTE WOULD THEY BE WITH MY RED PANTS from Monday’s post?
I mean seriously.  Sub in the wedges, keep everything else, and WOWZA.
utility blouse options HERE / pants HERE / bracelet HERE/ earrings HERE / necklace HERE

And while we’re on leopard…
Click HERE for these leopard sling backs.
OMG, right?
A little more chic and dressy than the above more casual option from UGG.
Love the wooden heel and the wide leopard straps.

And fyi, you know the earrings Whitney was wearing that I pointed out?
Well, they were on Good Morning America on Tuesday morning!
OUR EARRINGS ARE FAMOUS!
They were re-making Oscar outfits with pieces from Nordstrom, and the guy was all “These earrings are only $8!”  Please.  Like we didn’t already know about these earrings.
#oldnewsdude

And if you follow me on facebook, you saw the great news yesterday!
The earrings now come in CORAL!  WOOHOO!!!!!!!!
(They are now back ordered…but only for like a week…so who cares!  Not me!)
Best $8 you’ll ever spend.
Like I said on facebook yesterday, I actually like them more than my solid Kate Spade studs.
#shocking
Click HERE for the earrings.
(Also, a couple of you asked about my necklace yesterday on facebook.  It’s not just a name necklace, it’s my actual signature!  You can find it HERE.  Mine is the 16″ chain with an acrylic color of “antique gold”.)

Also, THIS pretty aqua Zella Deja jacket (love my Deja jacket) is 40% OFF and fully stocked!


And finally, before you go, please don’t forget to enter yourself or a friend in the Special Mama contest!  The only requirement is that all entered must be the mom of a child with special needs.
Click HERE to enter.
One special mama is going to get spoiled with a $1,000 gift card to LOFT!

See you ladies back here on Friday where I’ll announce the winner to the contest AND surprise her with some more fun items!  (Yes….more items…in addition to the $1,000 to LOFT.)
It’s gonna be fun!


xoxo,
Sheaffer 🙂

Filed Under: Fashion 58 Comments

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Comments

  1. Erika Slaughter says

    This post is what wakes me up on Wednesday mornings!! Love reading these! What am I gonna do in two weeks?? Could you maybe start recapping Young and the Restless?

    Reply

  4. Polka Dot Blossom says

    This post was stinking hilarious! And YES to the NCAA Cheerleading camp shorts! Spirit Stick anyone? That was EXACTLY what I thought when I saw those! And of course you roll the waistband over once, it just makes sense. Uh…right? I grew up in California and we were doing that exact same thing. So glad you mentioned that! Hahahaha!

    Reply

  5. Anonymous says

    Love the Garth Brooks quote. Kaitlyn wouldn't be happy on the farm.
    Also is there a reason you chose the wide strap wedge over the crisscross? Just personal preference or was it more comfortable?

    Reply

  6. Chelsey says

    I love your recaps… mainly because I don't have time to sit and watch 2 hours of The Bachelor, but I'm still interested in what happens. Perfect Friends references BTW.

    Oh, and I bought those Bond & Treasure jeans you linked to last week – LOVE them!!

    Reply

  8. The Boutelle Family says

    I didn't think your bachelor recaps could be anymore perfect, but the addition of the Friend's references are amazing! Love it!

    Reply

  9. BethG says

    Why does The Bachelor not have tissues readily available??? With all the crying this season I have not seen one person use a tissue! Even during Harrison's interview with Andi ~ the poor girl desperately needed some Kleenex!

    Reply

  10. Jill Sloothaak says

    "Remember what Garth says…." HAHAHAHAHA!!! Some of your best work ever. 🙂

    And, also….the large strap wedge photo with the white tee and cute necklace. I pretty much want that outfit from head to toe. You highlighted everything except the jeans. Please tell me where I can get those jeans! I love love them.

    Happy Wednesday!

    Reply

  11. kristen says

    Bravo! As usual! Wanted to see if you have any cognac wedges recs! I have the Calisto nude must haves but really need a cognac option! Let me know if you have or find anything comfy and cute!

    Reply

  14. Tessa Ernst says

    One of my favorite posts ever. The cheerleading shorts?? #totallydidthat #90s Ross and the leather pants? One of my favorite Friends moments ever!! Still laugh out loud! And #garthknows?! Yes he does! Love Garth and that fits perfectly here hahaha. Great recap as usual. This one really spoke to me! Keep it up 🙂

    Reply

  15. April Parrish says

    I can't stop laughing…great recap!!!
    I agree with Erika, could you start recapping the Young and the Restless??? LOL! But seriously could you?
    I said it last week and I'll say it again today I love those leopard wedges!!!

    Reply

  16. Scarlett Valentine says

    Love, love, love your Bachelor recaps AND fashion finds! I just want to make notice of the coral shorts Kaitlyn is wearing and how very similar they are to the coral shorts that Andi wore when she visited Josh for a hometown. I'm kinda wondering if they were the same shorts borrowed from a secret Bachelor wardrobe that we don't know about. Hmmm.. Also, I love Whitney and I think he needs to go ahead and seal the deal there, but holy self-tanner! I mean, sister needed to hire a pro or demand a refund! My husby was the first one to comment on her orange knees and elbows…which led to a story about he once broke up with a girl because her bad spray tan was THAT bad…anyway, Whitney should have tested out that spray tan LONG before Bali and national television #orangeisthenewblack.

    Reply

    • Jessie says

      I'm so glad someone mentioned the tan! I was beginning to think my hubby and I were the only ones who noticed. It seriously distracted me for the entire date. Poor Whitney!

      Reply

    • Donna Epperson says

      OMG yes! I just thought it was my crazy pregger brain or the TV just having some malfunctions. That spray tan was BAD! Poor girl…

      Reply

  17. Erin Soto says

    Honestly, you've got the best Bachelor recaps out there!!! Love checking in on your blog for these. The fashion is a massive bonus 🙂

    Reply

  18. Baby Kate's Mom says

    I love your recaps & LOVE the Friends references this week. When I was watching I just knew you'd talk about Whitney's earrings. Great post girl!

    Reply

  20. Anonymous says

    Okay so I'm not sure if you know but Chris has his own recap on people.com. It's interesting to hear what else was going on besides what we see. Like on the boat where it seemed to me that Chris just wasn't in to being as snuggly romantic as Whitney. Well apparently the whole crew was sick and throwing up. And when they jumped in the water I thought that the water looked a little rough and like they were in it for all of five minutes. Oh and he totally addresses the issue of his sweating through every shirt. And he sends a shout to Kaitlyn.

    Reply

  21. Unknown says

    I love your recaps! I was dying about the hug mount whatever it is. The friends references, gold! I also have to admit that I don't have my ears pierced, I know it's basically a sin but I just am not a big jewelry person. I did notice whitneys earrings and I thought I wonder if she reads your blog!

    Reply

  23. Micah Tjeerdsma says

    Can't. Stop. Laughing. Oh man, #garthknows couldn't be more spot on! When my husband and I were dating he told me that he felt like he was supposed to move back to Sioux City, Iowa. Let me tell you, it's small, but that was nothing compared to Arlington. Obviously I said that, "I didn't receive the call to move to S.C." We're married, so needless to say…there was no move.

    Reply

  25. Janet says

    Love your recaps. I am just not on team Whitney. I'm hoping for Becca. I can't see Whitney leaving her career and being happy in Arlington. I think Becca would adjust better. And of course now I have to jump over to People.com to read the recaps from Chris.

    Reply

  26. Michelle Ragsdale says

    Oh my do I love your recaps… I did the waist band fold over with my plastic shorts (aka umbros)#bornin1977confessions…#memories…as soon as you wrote about leather shorts…I thought of that friends episode then I scroll down and there it is….lol…#garthknows is genius….and rejection mini van should also become a hashtag…love your sense of humor!

    Reply

    • Lindsey says

      I'm gonna try it next time I see my man and will report back how easy it is. Seems like he needs to know or you will take him down!

      Reply

    • Libby Gordon says

      If I did that to my husband, we would both wind up in the ER. Even when I WAS young, limber and itty-bitty, we would've fallen over-I'm THAT coordinated. PLEASE report back if you do this; better yet, film it and we'll score it!;)

      Reply

  29. Susan Pelizzaro says

    Sheaffer, how is that white tee? Do you absolutely love it? I need to get a few and wondering if I should get these. Thanks!

    Reply

    • Sheaffer says

      Hi Susan! I like it, but you definitely need a cami under it. I haven't tried any of the other colors, so I'm not really sure. I know that Shay has a couple of the striped ones and loves them! Sorry I'm not more help!
      xoxo,
      Sheaffer 🙂

      Reply

  30. AmyJ says

    Nordstrom just let me order ALL 3 pairs of earrings. Coral is back ordered but will ship mid-March. And, of course I got the wedges and T-shirt too! #myhusbandwillbethrilled 😉

    Reply

  31. Caitlin Williams says

    #garthknows might be my new favorite hashtag ever! I immediately noticed Whitney's earrings and thought wow I need a pair of those bad boys! 🙂

    Reply

  33. BennieMom14 says

    NCA everybody say……..NCA!!!! WOOOOOO!!! I think you should start giving out a "Scheaffer Spirit Stick" to the girl who most represents the PTMT philosophy……..just a thought. #cheerleadersrule

    Reply

  34. Anonymous says

    OMG! The plastic shorts! We called them plastics and I had every color!! Worn with an oversized t-shirt which was rubber banded on the side! Also, I love Whitney, but did anyone else think she looked like she had been attacked by the self tanner?
    -Kim

    Reply

  35. Lindsey says

    My sister pointed out how hot Harrison looked when talking to Chris. Me thinks he needs to be the next Bachelor.

    Also, if you are gonna recap a soap, so Bold and the Beautiful. Same soap fam as Y&R but only 22 minutes long. Can't beat that.

    Reply

  37. Anonymous says

    Becca's shorts were faux leather from Forever 21 according to Possessionista! I am sure you know her and probably follow her on Twitter. We still need to find out when the "jump straddle" started! I am dying to know what season it first appeared and who did it first.

    Reply

  38. Courtney Bartlett says

    Scheaffer, I love love love these recaps! You say what we're all thinking! I'm embarrassed to say I totally had those plastic cheer shorts in high school and thought I was hot snot in them, but have retired those puppies a LONG time ago! Becca is a gorgeous girl, you'd think she'd have something cuter to wear on the most important date of her life! Can't wait to see what happens next week! #TeamWhitney

    Reply

  39. Shawnee says

    I LOVE your recaps!! And I totally thought she was wearing athletic shorts! LOL And I just knew you would say something about Whitney's awful fake tan…..she was orange for sure!!! I ordered a pair of the earrings and will be getting my ears pierced again ASAP!! 🙂

    Reply

  42. LoriM says

    I have no plans to ever watch the Bachelor, the whole concept just makes me cringe, but your recaps are HILARIOUS. I'll keep reading them, for sure.

    Reply

  43. Leslie Wilkinson says

    I nominate lorrie newman!!! She is an amazing mother of 3 children. Her youngest son has down syndrome. Lorrie has always put her children first. I would love to see her pampered with a shopping spree!!

    Reply

  44. Anonymous says

    I would like to know why the show acts like telling him she is a virgin is equivalent to telling him she is really a male prostitute who killed a family in Utah and spent 5 years in prison and has just been released????? Come on, people!!!!!!!!!! It's a good thing!!!!!!!

    Reply

  45. {Hi Sugarplum!} says

    I don't even know where to start…so much greatness in this post!! And for the record, I no longer even watch the show, bc I'd much rather just read your take on it! And those wedges….LOVE!!!!!

    Reply

  46. Paula says

    #garthknows
    BAWAHAHAHA..TRUE! So true!

    He wants Becca. Whitney wants him. This will be interesting.
    Women Tell All…so excited. Let the crazy out! 🙂

    Ordered the earrings! 🙂

    My blue jacket came this week. The one that came in camouflage green too. I love it.

    Reply

  48. Anonymous says

    You totally took me back to lawn of SMU at cheerleading camp! Plastic shorts were my uniform back then! 😉 Also loved your LH shoutout the other day!
    Did anyone else notice Whitney's smirking/trying not to smile (unsuccessfully) when Kaitlyn didn't get the rose, and as K and Chris were walking by to leave?? As kind as Whitney seems, I was very surprised to see that little peek of immaturity. There were also a couple times this show that her voice got so high and nasally, my dog perked his ears up.
    Thanks for your hilarious pov, as usual!:)

    Reply

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