make sure you read all the way to the bottom to see the Stella and Dot contest!)
So, here we are with the final 3 girls.
This next picture needs to be, wait, scratch that –
IT HAS TO BE your screen saver from now until the day you die.
And I can’t put my finger on it, but I suddenly find myself missing Selma more than ever.
He also says that AshLee has lots of qualities that he would like in a wife.
Yeah. Me Too Buddy.
If I had sister wives, I would DEFINITELY want at least one of them who was totally OCD and would organize my pantry and linen closets.
However, I feel it is important to note that I would prefer that sister wife
to NOT have a body like AshLee.
Yes, I think I shall take a sister wife who is not super cute,
but makes up for it in her organizational skills.
Sounds like you’re going home.
While talking about Lindsay he says,
we’ve moved on from that.
ON TO THE DATES!
They roam around awhile sharing food and petting rainbow colored chickens.
Um, no thank you.
First of all, I’d have to be drunk.
Second of all, I would need some ranch.
I’m not nearly as amazed by the monkeys as I am at Lindsay’s bravery.
It takes some serious courage to crouch over like that in a swimsuit, but she does it well.
If in the same situation, we all know that I would lay down with my back arched and my arms stretched over my head (to promote optimum skinniness) and just let the monkeys come to me.
Sean is like “Hey there AshLee. You have fear and abandonment issues right?
Well, I’ve got a fun idea!
Let’s put those to the test and see if I can lead you through this super scary cave. And let’s just keep our fingers crossed and hope that we both come out together on the other side alive and without you having a complete and total psychological breakdown.”
AshLee spews some metaphors about caves and trust.
They emerge on the other side at the private beach and make-out.
Then they go to dinner and make-out.
Time for Sean to spend a little alone time with Catherine.
Catherine is totally low maintenance and easy going,
Otherwise known as THE COMPLETE POLAR OPPOSITE OF ASHLEE.
And then she seals the deal by doing a back flip off of the boat with him.
He tells Chris that he knows who he is going to send home.
Still, Harrison has him go look at their pictures and watch videos that the final 3 left for him.
In Catherine’s video she says that Sean “gave her the wiggles”. Oogie.
In AshLee’s video, here’s a shocker, she talks in metaphors.
“Because of who you are to me, I know that I am no longer broken.”
As soon as the words come out of her mouth it looks Sean can’t decide if he
wants to wet his pants or puke.
He suddenly seems conflicted. Well, not so much conflicted as FREAKING OUT that he’s about to send poor broken AshLee home after she just gave him credit for making her whole again!
He looks out to the turbulent waters in the ocean.
I imagine AshLee would say that his feelings are crashing against his soul just like
the waves against the shore.
Now the girls walk in for the rose ceremony holding little umbrellas that
they plucked out of some fruity drinks.
Lots of trembling hands, lots of deep breathing, lots of dramatic pauses, and Lindsay even lets a naughty word slip out.
Lindsay and Catherine get the roses, and I have to admit I am a little sad.
AshLee turned on a dime and went from a sweet little abandoned puppy to a rabid dog so fast it made my head spin.
And that’s when my sadness turned to fear.
At first she stood as still as a statue for what seemed like a sweet forever.
When she finally looked at Sean, although I can’t be certain,
I’m almost positive I saw death rays shooting out of her eyes.
She doesn’t even look at the final 2 as she walks out.
Miss Smarty Pants Lindsay hypothesizes that she “is pissed”. Thank you Captain Obvious.
I’m betting that AshLee looks back at this and is less than thrilled with how she reacted.
Way to perpetuate the whole “woman scorned” stereotype Ashlee.
And everybody can hold their breath with excitement awaiting next week’s
WOMEN TELL ALL episode
I’m expecting fireworks.
And maybe a verbal smackdown or two.
Tierra’s eyebrow will most certainly be in rare form, and I’m imagining there will be some back-stabbing and finger pointing of epic proportion.
And fingers crossed that I’ll be reunited with Selma!
Yep, it’s gonna be good.
And I don’t have an outfit recreation this week…just plum ran out of time…but I was inspired by Ashley’s statement necklace and thought I would show you a handful that J Crew Factory has to offer right now. And, everything at The Factory is 25% off today!