I think that should go without saying by now, but just in case it doesn’t…
I do miss them.
I think a little part of me always will.
I guess it’s true what they say. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
No eyebrow with it’s own brain.
That being said……here’s my recap…….
HOMETOWN DATE #1:
AshLee is VERY pretty. However, she dressed like a lumberjack.
Don’t you know you are supposed to be helping me fill Selma’s void?
AshLee and Sean had a picnic outside and she openly declared her love for him. Again.
I really like Ashlee, and clearly she really likes Sean.
Look at her in the middle pic gazing up at him.
This girl is clearly smitten.

After their picnic, they headed home to meet her parents.
Oh, and in case you didn’t know, she’s adopted.
j/k
I might have rolled my eyes.
Okay…I did roll my eyes.
I actually really like AshLee a lot…but my eyes just automatically rolled anyway.
They do that sometimes. Just ask the hubby.
I’ll tell you what you left in the water Ashlee….
your common sense, your ability to say “no!”, and probably your outermost layer of skin.
Ashlee was all, “We rolled around in the sand.!”

And Ashlee’s daddy was all…..
And Ashlee’s mamma was all….

Back to the date.
Sean has 1:1 time with each of Ashlee’s parents.
Ashlee’s dad talked about meeting Ashlee for the first time and how he fell in love with her on site.
You guys…it was seriously heart-warming.
And if he doesn’t pick AshLee, maybe he can just break the rules and pick AshLee’s dad.
They could hang out in one of their beautiful backyards together, talk about being a pastor/reverend, and talk about how much they love their families.
I’m telling you…they are a match made in BFF heaven.
HOMETOWN DATE #2:
Seriously impressed with Sean’s fish catching skills. Those are some slippery suckers.
Check out the sister on the right’s expression. This is what she looked like immediately after Sean asked the settling down question.
That face says “NO WAY JOSE”.
And let me say this, if Catherine were to ever run for office, I’m thinking her sisters shouldn’t be responsible for her campaign.
Thanks a lot sisters.
Still….I’ll say it again….there was some serious chemistry on this date, and it was fun to watch!
And I really liked the coral shirt and necklace that one of the sisters was wearing. So there’s that.
May I say that she’s looking better than ever! Don’t you agree?
Who would have thought this this girl would have made it to hometown dates?!? Certainly not me!
Well done.
(More on this look later.)

Her little baby voice shouting out military orders might have made me smile once or twice.
The worst part about it was that Sean had to sport a mock turtleneck.

HOMETOWN DATE #4:
I wonder if the girls are asked to jump up and mount a producer?!?
but these girls do it all the time, and it looks like they’ve practiced.
Payback is a B Sean.
Des’s “boyfriend” comes in, professes his love, makes Sean clinch his fists (with a dramatic close-up) and then they shout out, “Ha ha! Just kidding Seanie!”
Sean was a super good sport.

I think her brother single-handedly took her down.
Listen up Nate:
We understand Sean is cuter, better built, smarter, and way nicer than you (and that might make you uncomfortable).
But good news dude, he’s not trying to date your girlfriend,
he’s trying to date your sister!
So, CALM THE FREAK DOWN.
“I’m sorry that I gave you that opinion, but that’s not me, at all.”
I don’t know what Nate was trying to prove, but if it was that he is a total and complete jackwagon, then he did a bang up job.
And kick him in the crotch.
What. A. Tool.
Too bad Tierra is supposedly engaged. I’m thinking Nate and Tierra could have been a good fit.
Bye Des. I’ll miss you.
Dear Nate,
Sincerely,
Desiree, Sean, and the rest of America
Now…before we leave…I want to highlight Lindsay’s look.
If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know that Pinterest has convinced us that wearing black and brown together is no longer a fashion no-no. In fact, it is AWESOME!
Exhibit A, B, and C
Lindsay did it very well on Monday night when she wore a
cream shirt, black leggings/jeans, and brown boots.
I thought she looked great.
I mixed black and brown for the first time back HERE in the summer, and I really liked the look.
Now I do it all the time.
I think the easiest way to pull off black and brown together is to wear black clothing
with brown accessories.
And I think it’s often best to go with a lighter brown vs. a darker brown for optimum contrast.
I promise you that you might feel weird the first time you do it…but you will LOVE it.
And it’s not just for fall and winter, it’s for summer too (see below)!
Actually, I think the summer outfit would look even better with brown flip flops or wedges.
More contrast = better!
Soooooo….
if you want to try to rock the black and brown look yourself (and you totally should because all of the cool people are doing it), see below for some options.
Click on a pic if you’re interested.
Brown Purse Options:
varying price levels…the left one is on SALE!

Black Clothing Options:
love ALL of these options

Brown Boot Options:
REALLY digging the wedge boots on the left. A LOT. And they are ALL on sale.
Now is a great time to buy boots.

Brown Wedge Options for summer:
The middle one is my absolute fav. LOVE the color and love the detail on the wedge. They would look so great with a black dress, black short shorts, black skinny jeans, EVERYTHING! They would also look perfect with everything else in my closet. Yes, I think I need them.

So….we’ve learned 2 very important lessons today:
1) Brown and black together are awesome.
2) Never invite your stupid brother to dinner to meet your boyfriend on national t.v.
Lessons learned.
you can follow me on facebook HERE
Mix and Match Mama says
It's 4:30 AM and I'm laughing my butt off in my study alone. I can hear Andrew saying "why are you laughing so hard" from the other room. Well done friend. Well done!
Tara G. says
That poor girl looks like an Ewok!!! And I thought ABC changed my regularly scheduled programming to My Cousin Vinnie. Good grief, how was he sweet Roxanne's son? Love those brown bags!!!!
Dawn says
Best recap 😉 LOVE…okay, okay I'm now going to try black and brown together 😉
Danielle @ Clean Food Creative Fitness says
Love the brown and black combo and of course I'm in love with all of those brown wedges! And of course I loved the recap!
Rachel says
spot on, as usual 🙂 favorite part = Nate & Tierra being a good fit!
loved Lindsey's outfit, and I'll have to try the brown/black trend soon!
floral&fudge
Alison @ Get Your Pretty On says
Hey where did you find my picture from junior high? JK, but I did have that hair. Awesome recap and I'm in love with black and brown. One of my favorite trends lately.
Shana says
Ha, ha. Love your recaps, look forward to them as much as the show!
Anonymous says
you're so funny!! In your recap of Lindsey's date though, you called her "Lesley" a few times.
Sheaffer says
Oops! I guess my brain is totally fried! Thanks for catching it. I changed her name!
Anonymous says
I'm a new reader and love your recaps…but please spell "awkward" correctly! Lol
Jaren says
Hilarious! Tried not to laugh out loud as I read this at work!
Jaren
Andrea {blonde ambitions} says
Love your recap & the brown/black outfits! I have been wanting to create outfits combining these colors and now you have inspired me to do just that! Have a great day!!
Aubs says
~OMGoodness. "awkward" pic girls hair = amazing!! hilarious!!
~Sean & Ashlee's dads are totally BFF perfection!!
~"jackwagon" may be my new favorite term!! lol! you're so right… Tierra+Nate = jackwagon perfection!
and as always your recap = perfection!! thanks for the laughs!!
Jen says
As always, I loved your recap! Seriously, reading it is something I look forward to on Wednesdays! About mixing black & brown, I used to think it was so tacky & now I do it all the time. 🙂
About me says
You are hilarious! I have 3 crabby/sick kids at home today and your blog just made me lol! Thank you! I needed that!
Bachelor Blogger says
I am still hoping that Desiree's brother is cast on Bachelor Pad 4!
Kimberly says
I love love your blog and seriously look forward to your recaps! Hilarious!!!! You mentioned above Tierra is supposedly engaged – well a friend of a friend tried on wedding dresses the other day in the same bridal salon as Tierra! She definitely has engagement ring on! She sent us a pic of her! Can't wait for next week!
Audrey says
New reader here – love your blog so much! I was thinking the exact same thing about Sean and AshLee's dads; they could totally be besties!
Julianne Blayke says
I love your blog and your bachelor recaps are my favorite!!! I am also loving black and brown together! Can't wait to read what you write next 🙂
Kama says
I agree! Tierra and Nate! 🙂
StacyHudson says
Two things:
#1: I TOO love black and brown together
#2: You seriously crack me up…I think you must be my long lost friend because I agree love your style and humor. (Does that make it three things? Hell…I don't know)
Helene says
you literally hit the nail on everything!!!!!! love this. you are so awesome.
sarahs32flavors says
Ha! The girl with the awkward hair was on Ellen in her "Bad paid for photos" segment. She was HILARIOUS.
Jeanette says
I really wish I lived in Texas! I would LOVE to be friends with you and Shay. You ladies crack me up! Love The Bachelor recap and I LOLed quite a few times. HILARIOUS! Thanks Sheaffer…love the blog!
Candice Kelley says
You are so funny! We have the same sense of humor (and style!) and i love it!
Candice Kelley says
You are so funny! We have the same sense of humor (and style!) I love it!
Melissa Nichols says
hahahah!! Nice post! And, Tierra is engaged?!? I'm guessing she got engaged prior to the worst of her was shown in the most recent episodes, because that would deter any guy! Job well done, Tierra, for luring one in before all that before all that lol.
Mona Brawley says
Okay, I am officially biting my lip so I won't laugh but the tears are still dripping down. You are so funny. I love the post! Thank you for adding a little "sparkle" to my day! What will I do when the Bachelor is on Hiatus???? I guess I will have to go back and read your old blogs and recaps. 🙂 I have just followed you on Facebook and Pinterest. Thanks again.
Jessica says
Okay, I don't even watch the Bachelor, but I wish I did, so I could better understand this truly funny commentary. Well done! I'm glad to know that black and brown can go together because I just packed a bag for a week, and that is the basis for all my outfits.
Jenn says
I have watched every episode of every season of the Bachelor, but your hilarious recaps make this season special! The awkward moment with Ashlee's parents was worthy of that spectacular hair image, and not many things on God's earth are worthy of that image! Your comments about Catherine's sisters had me rolling and thanking my lucky stars that I don't have sisters. The army thing was definitely more than a LITTLE bit corny. But let's be real for a minute. Desiree's bro kind of called it like it is. I completely agree that he acted like a big fat jerk, but I think his opinion of Sean is totally valid. I am a fan of the Bachelor (the show) in general and a huge fan this bachelor (Sean Lowe) in particular. But no matter how sweet and genuine the guy is, the idea of one man dating multiple women simultaneously, telling all the girls he's "crazy about them," and getting physical with lotsa ladies makes that guy a sleazy playboy man-whore. Don't get me wrong, I totally eat it up. (Me and the rest of America!) But I roll my eyes every time I think that ANY man who did all that (the simultaneous dating, professions of feeling, and smoochy with a gal one day then roll on the beach with another gal the next day) without a tv camera in his face would be deemed a douche bag by brothers the world over.
{Hi Sugarplum!} says
Love it all!! this is the same dialog I had running in my head the entire episode. It would be too fun to watch one with you…the snark would be awfully thick. We'd have to make sure no one else could hear us. #sweetsoutherngirlsweare
I like the spark with Catherine, but seems their cultural differences might make it difficult to sustain long-term. #justsayin #itsnotlikeireadrealitysteve #okayido
The Dose of Reality says
So damn awesome!! In every.single.way! Am loving this whole recap so much!!
I agree so much that he and Catherine have chemistry. They do. There is no denying it. She is my fave!
We did a little ode to Tierra today. We couldn't help it. She just taught us so much! 😉
http://www.thedoseofreality.com/2013/02/21/never-let-anyone-steal-your-sparkle/
mel @ the larson lingo says
Catching up on blogs today…this week has been CRAZY!
Anyways….loved your recap! Thanks for the laughs, as always.
Brown & Black is my favorite. Wouldn't have said that a few months ago.
And, exhibit B that you posted? Pretty sure I am going to Pin-spire that outfit for next Friday!
Angela Ellingson says
You are seriously funny! Found your blog via Shay's blog. 🙂
Angela Ellingson says
You are seriously funny! Found your blog via Shay's blog. 🙂