And let me just say this, from the looks of things, I want Montana to give me a rose.
And just to be clear, this episode of The Bachelor in Montana is brought to you by a Blue Plaid Shirt.
It was like the Sisterhood of the Traveling Blue Plaid Shirt.
First, Lindsey….then the blue team….then Tierra.
And now for the play by play….
Danielle is excited to go to Montana and see Sean, and when she screamed “I get to see my boyfriend! Yay!” I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.
“Is that a helicopter?”
Lindsey, you’re on The Bachelor. In fact, you’re on Season 17 of The Bachelor, and it’s probably the 78th helicopter we’ve seen. Duh. It’s a helicopter.
Not much happens on the date.
They cuddle. They kiss. There is a little bit of baby talk. (But she’s cute and sweet, so I forgive her.)
And it was confirmed for me that I don’t like the word “adolescence”.
I think she said the word like 4 times in about 32 seconds.
And then this girl in the background sings “I want to be your cigarette.” What?
On to the group date!
Canoeing = suckage
Milking a goat = I can hardly even talk about the level of suckage without my gag reflex kicking up.
Listen….I don’t drink cow’s milk, so the thought of goat’s milk just about puts me over the edge.
And warm goats milk straight out of the teet straight up makes me want to barf.
Then they find out that the blue team gets to come back.
Total buzz kill, and they are less than impressed.
All I can think is POOR DESIREE. POOR, POOR DESIREE.
It’s as if she chugged the goat’s milk just for the heck of it.
(FYI: don’t google image search “desiree drinks goat milk”. Trust me. You won’t find Desiree, but you will find some other guy drinking goat’s milk STRAIGHT FROM THE GOAT.)
When Chris Harrison goes to the house to let the blue team know that they get to go back to see Sean, we see Tierra sitting at a table by herself writing a letter.
I haven’t actually seen the letter, but I imagine it says something like this:
If you don’t pick me, I will kill you.
Selma’s mad about the blue team getting to come back.
Selma’s talking about herself in the 3rd person.
Sheaffer doesn’t care. Sheaffer still likes Selma and thinks she is GORGEOUS.
What? Morgan Freeman gets the rose on the group date?
See the post HERE if you are cofused by this.
Tierra and Jackie get the much dreaded 2:1 date, and even though we have no idea who Jackie is, I think I heard all of America cheering knowing that Tierra would most certainly
get kicked to the curb.
Does anybody else think that Tierra might have slipped Jackie’s horse a little somethin somethin to make it a little sluggish?
(Don’t know why this looks like a video. It’s not.)
I’m thinking that we shouldn’t count our chickens before they hatch people.
Akward: Party of 3.
How do you know if it’s akward on your date?
You tally up how many times you talk about the fish that you’re eating.
Jackie gets sent home, and America shakes it’s collective head.
“WHAT THE FREAKIN’ FREAK?”
And for that matter, LISTEN TO KENSINGTON!!!!!
Your sweet 4 year old niece even knows you need to send Tierra packing.
Ah yes, she is wise beyond her years.
And now for my outfit recreation.
I thought I would choose Jackie’s white tank, denim shirt, skinny jeans, and boots look.
It’s a look I have already worn many times myself.
(okay…so I’m cheating…I pulled this from my archives)
Denim Shirt| THIS denim shirt is sooooooo cute.
It’s the perfect amount of distressing, and it’s just a teensy bit westerny without being
too yee-haw ride ’em cowboy.
If you want to see LOTS of my denim shirt looks, click HERE.
Black Leggings| Francesca’s
But Alison at Get Your Pretty On talked about THESE little beauties and I haven’t stopped thinking about them. Leggings that suck me in? Sign me up!
Click HERE , buy them for yourself, and throw an extra pair for me in your cart would ya?
Brown Boots| several years old,
but I’m thinking there has to be a similar pair at the Nordstrom boot sale!
Click HERE if you are new to the blog and want to see some of the on sale boot links
that I highlighted at my SALE ALERT!
GORGEOUS boots at 30-50% off.
Good stuff people, good stuff.